The Marriage Problem That Comes Every Four Years

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The Marriage Problem That Comes Every Four Years - 9/5/2012 6:26:23 PM

FirmhandKY

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The Marriage Problem That Comes Every Four Years

quote:

As Isaac Pollak, an ardent Republican, kissed his wife goodbye before heading out on a business trip to Asia several years ago, he handed her his absentee ballot for the coming presidential election and asked her to mail it.

Bonnie Pollak, a Democrat, weighed her options. Should she be loyal to her spouse, respect his legal right and mail the ballot? Or remain faithful to her deeply held beliefs and suppress his vote?

"It was a real dilemma," says Ms. Pollak, 58 years old, a student in a doctoral program in social welfare who lives in Manhattan. "I decided to do the right thing."

Ms. Pollak threw the ballot away.

So ... how much toleration do you have in your close personal relationships for differing political views? Could you live and love someone who held strongly opposing political stances?

Was the woman's actions above something you could condemn, or praise?

Would you stay in the marriage, if you were the husband? The wife?

Lots of ways to go with the discussion on this one.

Firm

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RE: The Marriage Problem That Comes Every Four Years - 9/5/2012 6:31:25 PM

subrob1967

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I'd probably go the McCain/Kerry route and find a rich woman who held my political beliefs.

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RE: The Marriage Problem That Comes Every Four Years - 9/5/2012 6:36:19 PM

tazzygirl

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He trusted her to do what was right by him. She broke that trust. Trust is trust. Without it, there is no relationship.

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RE: The Marriage Problem That Comes Every Four Years - 9/5/2012 6:39:07 PM

thishereboi

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My ex was a liberal. we just avoided political conversations and it was all good. I would be very upset if she told me she was going to send in my vote and then threw it away. I don't know that I would have left her because of it, but I would have had a lot of trouble trusting her after that and that might screw things up.

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RE: The Marriage Problem That Comes Every Four Years - 9/5/2012 6:40:37 PM

Aylee

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quote:

ORIGINAL: FirmhandKY

The Marriage Problem That Comes Every Four Years

quote:

As Isaac Pollak, an ardent Republican, kissed his wife goodbye before heading out on a business trip to Asia several years ago, he handed her his absentee ballot for the coming presidential election and asked her to mail it.

Bonnie Pollak, a Democrat, weighed her options. Should she be loyal to her spouse, respect his legal right and mail the ballot? Or remain faithful to her deeply held beliefs and suppress his vote?

"It was a real dilemma," says Ms. Pollak, 58 years old, a student in a doctoral program in social welfare who lives in Manhattan. "I decided to do the right thing."

Ms. Pollak threw the ballot away.

So ... how much toleration do you have in your close personal relationships for differing political views?

Quite a lot, actually.

quote:

Could you live and love someone who held strongly opposing political stances?

Yes.

quote:

Was the woman's actions above something you could condemn, or praise?

Condemn. While I have no problem with voter ID laws, deliberately disenfranchising someone because they have different political views is abhorrent. Furthermore, voting in this country is by secret ballot. She should have never looked at his ballot to see how he voted. One other thing to add is that often times, there are other issues that which electors you are voting for. She could have been denying something that she felt strongly for locally a vote.

quote:

Would you stay in the marriage, if you were the husband? The wife?

I don't know. Has there been a pattern in the marriage of rights being denied to me? My first reaction would likely have been, "What the hell is wrong with you?"

quote:

Lots of ways to go with the discussion on this one.

Firm

When I read the story earlier tonight, I was floored that she found her actions perfectly acceptable/justified.

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RE: The Marriage Problem That Comes Every Four Years - 9/5/2012 6:41:24 PM

LadyHibiscus

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I tried to be in a relationship with someone with opposing political views. I will never do that again.

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RE: The Marriage Problem That Comes Every Four Years - 9/5/2012 6:44:30 PM

popeye1250

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I like differing politican views, they make things interesting.
That would be a good fantasy, having a real lefty woman tied down to the bed and gagged and then put some nice big pictures of Bush, Reagan and Eisenhower all around her so that she'd see one wherever she looked then walk out of the room and close the door! lol
"You swum o bitch!"

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RE: The Marriage Problem That Comes Every Four Years - 9/5/2012 6:46:07 PM

servantforuse

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My house was like a mini Chicago. Between my wife, myself, two daughters and one son and law, I controlled 5 votes. It should have been six, but my older daughted married a liberal.

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RE: The Marriage Problem That Comes Every Four Years - 9/5/2012 6:49:38 PM

tj444

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quote:

ORIGINAL: FirmhandKY
So ... how much toleration do you have in your close personal relationships for differing political views? Could you live and love someone who held strongly opposing political stances?

Was the woman's actions above something you could condemn, or praise?

Would you stay in the marriage, if you were the husband? The wife?

Lots of ways to go with the discussion on this one.

Firm

I think i have a lot of tolerance but not sure about how much a man with extreme political opinions would have for my opinions..

Had I been the woman, I would have mailed that ballot but then I would do that as i dont vote since i dont believe I should impose my will on others by doing so anyway.. (even in my home country)..

I also would not judge the woman or have an opinion on her actions as it would be a situation between her and her hubby only.. and not any of my freakin' business..

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RE: The Marriage Problem That Comes Every Four Years - 9/5/2012 6:53:38 PM

servantforuse

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Hey popeye. I do switch once and a while. I always wanted to tie a liberal woman to a chair and put on Rush for a couple of hours.

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RE: The Marriage Problem That Comes Every Four Years - 9/5/2012 6:54:12 PM

kalikshama

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I find the wife's actions to be morally wrong.

On the political compass, I'm proud to be in Gandhi's neighborhood. For 18 years, I was married to someone who was mostly apathetic, but when pressed, was just into the rightest/conservative grid. Political compatibility is something I seek in potential partners. Which reminds me that I've been meaning to check out Green Singles.

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RE: The Marriage Problem That Comes Every Four Years - 9/5/2012 6:56:23 PM

kalikshama

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quote:

I do switch once and a while. I always wanted to tie a liberal woman to a chair and put on Rush for a couple of hours.

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Post #: 12

RE: The Marriage Problem That Comes Every Four Years - 9/5/2012 7:03:52 PM

TheHeretic

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There is one, and only one, marriage in the previous generation of my family that has gone the distance. 40 years, and counting. He's a hardcore, yellow-dog Democrat, she's a small government Republican. They made a deal one year, that since they were just going to cancel each other out, neither would vote, and then they both cheated on the deal.

It isn't an issue in my house, even though the wife and I aren't in perfect alignment. I'm much more liberal than she is, but also far more interested in politics. Before an election, she'll usually ask me about the ballot measures, or maybe an obscure office, and I'll mark her sample ballot to give her a cheat sheet. I play it straight, when I do that. It's no different than when I ask her what my best choice is for a new cell phone.

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RE: The Marriage Problem That Comes Every Four Years - 9/5/2012 7:42:47 PM

DarkSteven

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I think I could be in a relationship with someone with differing views - it would simply be an Unspoken Topic. But I'm right now with a moderate liberal like myself.

And what the wife did was inexcusable.

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RE: The Marriage Problem That Comes Every Four Years - 9/5/2012 8:13:30 PM

erieangel

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Inexcusable? It should have been criminal, IMO.

Any type of vote suppression makes my skin crawl. Let every citizen vote and where the results fall, they fall.

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RE: The Marriage Problem That Comes Every Four Years - 9/5/2012 8:30:32 PM

tsatske

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I agree that the wife's behavoir was inexcusable boardering on the criminal. I'm not sure what it would do to a relationship if someone did that to me, but it would take a lot of time and work to get over that. I'd be more comfortable with a Master telling me honestly that he expected me to vote as he ordered me to (only once, by the way), then with that kind of subterfuge. So, I can only count on you to be honest with me if you agree with me? That's not trust, that's coincidence. Just like obeying only when you agree is not submission. I find it reprehensible.

I have been owned in successful relationships with Master's whose political views were opisite of mine. I don't find it means discussion must be off the table, either. I find it very iinteresting to discuss. But, submissive or not, discussion is a two way street and I expect my views to be heard and respected, too.

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RE: The Marriage Problem That Comes Every Four Years - 9/5/2012 8:39:14 PM

Lucylastic

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my pet has very different views to me, in 14 years we have had maybe two fights about it (we dont live together mind you). The wife is a dumb bitch in my NSHO.

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RE: The Marriage Problem That Comes Every Four Years - 9/5/2012 10:05:52 PM

DaNewAgeViking

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

quote:

I do switch once and a while. I always wanted to tie a liberal woman to a chair and put on Rush for a couple of hours.

KIIIINNKYYYY!

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RE: The Marriage Problem That Comes Every Four Years - 9/5/2012 10:26:40 PM

FMRFGOPGAL

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quote:

ORIGINAL: FirmhandKY

So ... how much toleration do you have in your close personal relationships for differing political views? Could you live and love someone who held strongly opposing political stances?

Was the woman's actions above something you could condemn, or praise?

Would you stay in the marriage, if you were the husband? The wife?

Lots of ways to go with the discussion on this one.

Firm

I doubt I will ever face such a question. I know a man's (general) value system and politics before I'll let him buy me a micro-brew, let alone get in a relationship.

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RE: The Marriage Problem That Comes Every Four Years - 9/6/2012 1:18:01 AM

Winterapple

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FR
The wife was absolutely wrong to do
what she did. I would have done as
asked. I would find it difficult to
continue in a relationship with someone
who did that to me. But if he feels
it's excusable that's for him to decide.

The majority of the people in my
life don't agree with me politically.
I've never been estranged from a
family member, lost a friendship or
broken up with a partner over politics.

I couldn't be involved with a fundie
tea partying birther.
But with a fiscal conservative who is
moderate on social issues it's ok.
We agree to disagree and focus on
the things we do have in common.
And no trying to convert the other

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