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RE: What's up with Wax? - 6/12/2006 7:38:57 AM

wild1cfl

Posts: 567
Joined: 4/19/2004
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When I am going to do a wax scene with a submissive that has never had the experience before, I always start it the same way. First I make sure the wax is good quality parrifin wax, no color, no perfumes or oils added as these sometimes can irritate some people's skin. I buy the blocks that are used for canning purposes. Next I melt the wax in a crock pot that I have and I use a thermometer in it so I know that the wax temperature is not over 100 degrees. This is actually a bit cool for wax, but a good starting point for a newbie. Most jacuzzis temperature is about 100 to 105 for a reference. After prepping the area and table that I use I will lay the submissive down and make sure they are comfortable before I begin. I am not out to put them into subspace first with flogging or clamps or anything else, the focus is on the wax and that is what I want them to experience. I use a ladle to dip the wax out of the pot and slowly will pour it out. I will start out slowly on less sensitive parts of the body such as arms and lower legs and then move toward more sensitive areas such as breasts, stomach, upper thigh and pubic area last. I always listen to their input as I am doing it, hearing what they like and what they do not like. I have had very few people come away not enjoying it and have even had some that have done it before and hated it tell me that they enjoyed the way I do it. This is a good starting point for a new person and then you can take it from there and develop it more.

Wild

(in reply to sapphirepleasure)

Post #: 21

RE: What's up with Wax? - 6/12/2006 7:47:09 AM

sapphirepleasure

Posts: 411
Joined: 4/27/2006
From: Land of Enchantment
Status: offline

Wow, some really great responses! I've been reading them all and the links, and it's really making me want to try again, with wax that's not so hot. It sounds like it can be a wonderful, if messy, experience. I will keep an open mind.

(in reply to wild1cfl)

Post #: 22

RE: What's up with Wax? - 6/12/2006 10:44:47 AM

FloridaISIS

Posts: 235
Joined: 5/15/2006
Status: offline

I like the idea of the Remington Spa.

Not sure if anyone mentioned this, as I did see mention of a shower cap, but I'm thinking a pair of ever attractive safety goggles might work to protect the eyes from splatters? I've never done wax play, but keeping wax out of the eyes has always been a concern of mine.

LA, I loved your info on wax play; most informative I've seen on the net so far. Thank You.

Wild, thank you for the info on Crock pot use. This is how they do it at our local club. Thank you for giving the temp you use for it. I've always wondered how hot is too hot, as I'm the type who can't even stand to put my hand over a candle flame, so I'd be one of the more delicate subjects indeed.

I learn so much on the forums...I love this place

Isis

< Message edited by FloridaISIS -- 6/12/2006 10:48:45 AM >

(in reply to sapphirepleasure)

Post #: 23

RE: What's up with Wax? - 6/12/2006 11:35:20 AM

ExistentialSteel

Posts: 676
Joined: 1/18/2005
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I know one thing. It is messy as all get out. Make sure you have a sheet that you can pick up with all the wax bits on it.

_____________________________

For those who are like Roman Candles leaving bright trails in the night sky while the crowd watches until the dark blue center light bursts into magnificent colors and the crowd goes, ahhhhhhhhhh.

(in reply to spankmepink11)

Post #: 24

RE: What's up with Wax? - 6/12/2006 12:06:16 PM

candleTC

Posts: 148
Joined: 5/8/2006
From: Springfield, Il
Status: offline

Oh, it is wonderful and excitably messy!!! However with everyone telling you all the wonderful things about wax play, i just need to make another observation, going along the lines of the over stimulus post....

quote:

I have some suggestions ... it was your first time, so having the other stimuli was simply too much!! Might be better to do just the wax and see .. and then augment it from there.

I couldn't agree more!!! It almost sounds to me that your Dom may be trying to make you a painslut over night. ( said with levity, not with an accusational tone, please understand ) This leads to the age old adage, " a sub/slave is not always a pain slut and a pain slut not always a sub/slave." I will never forget a phrase that came out of my previous "dom's" mouth ( i use that term loosely, and apologize to Him if he reads these forums..... eh, sorta apologize... ). I was some INTENSE pain due to a toothache. I mean, like curled up on the bed crying out in pain, because it hurt so bad. There is ABSOLUTELY nothing more worse for me than something on my face hurting, whether it be a toothache, earache or headache. He looked at me, rather condescending and uttered the words of " for such a sub, you sure do whine alot about pain". What!?!? How did the question of my submissiveness come into play about my tooth hurting?? This was the beginning of the demise of our relationship, with me questioning His ability to actually "dom" me.

Some of us can handle a great bit of pain at the hands of our Dominates, where as some of us can not. I can endure pain for hours upon end as long as someone else is dishing it out, yet there are others who will never be able to. It's up to your dominate to be able to push those limits, how He/She sees fit... if wax isn't your cup of tea while being clothespinned all up, while being blindfolded, bound and gagged, then maybe, toss aside the clothespins and the blindfold for one wax session.... ( i LOVE watching as the wax is being poured on my body ) This will help you decide if maybe it was the wax that was the stresser or the clothespins. I, personally, find it much more fulfilling to try certain things one at a time, leading up to doing it all at once. The lower temp candles are, in my opinion, a must in building your pain tolerance to wax play.

Remember these words as well, that just because you are a sub doesn't make you automatically a pain slut..... and vice versa... To each thier own.

Ramble finally over.. thank you for you stumbling your way through that with me.... ( LOLOLOL )

_____________________________

"On my knees, i think clearer"

~Thoughts are like arrows: once released, they strike their mark. Guard them well or one day you may be your own victim. - Navajo Proverb~

(in reply to sapphirepleasure)

Post #: 25

RE: What's up with Wax? - 6/12/2006 1:19:46 PM

melnkolybabydoll

Posts: 39
Joined: 5/17/2006
Status: offline

Wow, what a shame for the bad experience. My first experience caused me to learn how to properly make candles (almost 2 years of research and experimentation). In fact, my profile picture was taken the night of the scene, after we returned home. The wax play created the "glow" on my face.

Even though we were at a play party and i was unfamiliar with the Domme who had the most experience with wax, i loved it. My husband made sure i was "good" with the environment first...allowed me to be able to speak and see. That was important so he could gauge my reactions. For instance...although she rubbed me with oil beforehand (for ease of wax removal at end of scene), and the wax was the proper temperature (hot enough to create good sensation without burning), my husband could see i was unable to truly give in to the sensuality of the scene. Out of respect i did not speak, but i communicated well with my eyes. He understood and politely stepped into the scene (the Domme was aware beforehand that he may join her). The instant i was aware of his participation i was able to fully trust and allow the experience to become erotic. For me, a scene is mostly psychological; the physical sensations are a huge bonus.

(in reply to sapphirepleasure)

Post #: 26

RE: What's up with Wax? - 6/12/2006 4:22:14 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sapphirepleasure

My Dom used wax with me last night, something I've heard so much about, and honestly I pretty much hated it and just couldn't wait for it to be over. Thanks!

This is the way I feel about a deep tissue massage. To me, it is agonizing, painful, definitely not fun.

We're all wired differently. What feels good to me, may not feel good to you. Also, keep in mind that if we're aroused stimulation gets processed differently. This means that for some of us, it's important to be sexually aroused before engaging in certain types of play.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to sapphirepleasure)

Post #: 27

RE: What's up with Wax? - 6/12/2006 5:01:01 PM

xxmstrchasxx

Posts: 423
Joined: 5/9/2006
Status: offline

My sub loves wax. Of course, I always test it on me before I let it fall on her. We also have a parafin spa that we like and use a cup to drip on her ALL over.

_____________________________

XxMasterChasxX

(in reply to sapphirepleasure)

Post #: 28

RE: What's up with Wax? - 6/12/2006 5:06:38 PM

shyfem

Posts: 101
Joined: 2/16/2006
Status: offline

Good evening everyone,

I am glad I found this thread. I really want to try wax play and was wanting to learn more about it. Although, I like the pain sensation I like to be able to build tolerance rather than it coming all at once.

I will make sure the One that I have recently found (by the way, YEA

) reads this thread or I may just copy LA's very informative step by step detail and send it to Him in email.

~shy
-------------------------------------------------------
May all who tread here find what they seek!

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 29

RE: What's up with Wax? - 6/12/2006 5:17:27 PM

sweetbbwsub31

Posts: 331
Joined: 3/22/2006
Status: offline

sapphire,

I find wax play to be one of the most erotic and sensual things I have ever experienced. You have some great advice here. Consentrate on the wax and leave other things out of the scene. Have your Dom talk to you and tell you what he is doing at first or better yet, ask to watch. For me...watching it fall is half the fun. Keep the wax at a distance and avoid beeswax (ask your "friend" if he wouldn't mind coming over so that you can experiment with beeswax on him) The emergency candles and ethnic candles that are sold in grocery stores work great. Oiling up first is very helpful when it comes to clean up as well. (plus you get a mini massage-can't beat that).

Please communicate with your Dom so it can be a pleasurable experience for both of you and don't be afraid to give it another shot. I was hooked after my first scene with wax play but had a Dom who was experienced and watched my reactions very carefully.

Good luck,
sub tara

(in reply to sapphirepleasure)

Post #: 30

RE: What's up with Wax? - 6/12/2006 5:17:45 PM

feastie

Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sapphirepleasure

My Dom used wax with me last night, something I've heard so much about, and honestly I pretty much hated it and just couldn't wait for it to be over. I was bound, gagged and blindfolded, and had clothespins that were hurting like hell and then the wax searing hot from time to time--I could hardly stand it, and it was a good thing I was gagged.

So I'm wondering, why do so many people talk about how great wax is, what makes for a good wax scene (especially with a sub/slave who is new/not a pain slut) and are there any other suggestions you might have?

Thanks!

Following is a link to a guy that makes candles specifically for use in BDSM. He has a huge range of sizes, shapes, colors and scents. Scented ones, however, do burn hotter. He does make this point clearly on his site. He also has pictures of some of his own play and techniques and he has pages of advice and how-to.

It does sound as if your Dom went a little overboard in the sensation department, especially when trying something new. You may wish to ask him to try again, but with wax only.

Good luck to you.

http://www.bdsmwaxplay.com/

_____________________________

Snarky and loving it.

Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

(in reply to sapphirepleasure)

Post #: 31

RE: What's up with Wax? - 6/12/2006 5:24:48 PM

sweetbbwsub31

Posts: 331
Joined: 3/22/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: sapphirepleasure

My Dom used wax with me last night, something I've heard so much about, and honestly I pretty much hated it and just couldn't wait for it to be over. Thanks!

This is the way I feel about a deep tissue massage. To me, it is agonizing, painful, definitely not fun.

We're all wired differently. What feels good to me, may not feel good to you. Also, keep in mind that if we're aroused stimulation gets processed differently. This means that for some of us, it's important to be sexually aroused before engaging in certain types of play.

Bobbi,
I am with you on the deep tissue massage. I am actually a sub who injoys pain but when I was in school I hated deep tissue massage. I am just not a fan of it. To me, the whole point of my clients coming to me is to relax. If I am jabbing my elbow into their sensitive areas and they have bruises from my massage, just how relaxed can they possibly be? A gentle massage is far more effective in my opinion. But some like that sort of pain.

As for wax.. if done properly it can be a great experience. I am will LA on the try it 3 times theory. You just never know. Especially if you are in a scene with a different person. He/She may have a style you love.

sub tara

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 32

RE: What's up with Wax? - 6/12/2006 5:25:32 PM

bignipples2share

Posts: 611
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline

All I have to say is wow, I really had no idea. This sounds wonderful. My whole idea on wax really has been very limited. I just thought people dripped some hot wax on people and it burned, much like when I've accidently burned myself on wax, carrying around a candle.
You've really expanded my knowledge on this one and I thank you.

~Big
________________________
ahhhh I see sounds

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 33

RE: What's up with Wax? - 6/12/2006 5:59:07 PM

reticence

Posts: 180
Joined: 2/28/2006
Status: offline

wonderful answers (smile)

Now if you will excuse me, i need to go walk the soup, or stir the dog, or something, omg

(grinning)

(in reply to bignipples2share)

Post #: 34

RE: What's up with Wax? - 6/13/2006 5:45:36 AM

Bearlee

Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: spankmepink11

** Bearlee...i was in danger of a bit of meltdown myself after reading your post....mm.

<giggles> It's great fun, isn't it?

I tried the white candles in the tall glasses (available on the ‘ethnic section’ of your grocer…with religious pictures on containers), but it was pretty difficult; the flame would go out once almost half the wax was gone; then I couldn’t keep them lit.

I appreciate the idea of using oil before hand (next time!) and then baby powder after. The whole process IS quite a sensual experience!!!

I think it works better to use loose candles, the white, emergency ones…..or heat batches in a pot; being VERY careful; it’s quite flammable! Your idea of a spa thingy might be perfect!

As far as the knife part goes, pink…with blindfold on and really good music on the headset; a subbie pretty much goes to la-la land. When finished with the wax, the cool blade sliding along the skin while the soft wax is peeled back is like being peeled! Knife-point urging wax clinging to nipples to release, or feeling it slide between wax and skin along ribs or tummy while wax is pulled away in one large section; OMG …it’s like being filleted!

<sigh> It's been too long since I've played...

quote:

ORIGINAL: candleTC
.... The lower temp candles are, in my opinion, a must in building your pain tolerance to wax play.

Remember these words as well, that just because you are a sub doesn't make you automatically a pain slut..... and vice versa... To each thier own.
...( LOLOLOL )

Pain tolerance? Somehow I believe wax-play is NOT about pain but sensation! Gee...who wants a fried-subbie? Burns over half the body would NOT be a pretty sight; with or without blisters. Nope...no burning yer subbies!!!

< Message edited by Bearlee -- 6/13/2006 5:58:17 AM >

(in reply to spankmepink11)

Post #: 35

RE: What's up with Wax? - 6/13/2006 5:49:53 AM

Bearlee

Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: FloridaISIS
...
Not sure if anyone mentioned this, as I did see mention of a shower cap, but I'm thinking a pair of ever attractive safety goggles might work to protect the eyes from splatters? I've never done wax play, but keeping wax out of the eyes has always been a concern of mine.
...

Isis... this is part of the reason I like a blindfold; keeps eyes safe AND promotes subspace!

Next time I do this...as the do-er...I will wear an apron! Sheesh, talk about splatter! Don't wear your favorite outfit to wax somebody...

(in reply to FloridaISIS)

Post #: 36

RE: What's up with Wax? - 6/14/2006 3:27:40 PM

bklynbbw

Posts: 147
Joined: 10/19/2005
Status: offline

I usually dont like a deep tissue massage either...but there are times deeper body work is needed. Not all clients come for just a relaxation treatment. But a deep tissue treatmant should not leave bruises either...if it does, its not being done right. I have used wax in body treatments...I will cover the area of discomfort...lower back....neck....shoulder...etc. to warm while I do some work in another area. When I come back to that area and remove the wax the muscles are nice and warm to start work on....I am looking forward to the experience of trying the wax out of the massage room

(in reply to sweetbbwsub31)

Post #: 37

RE: What's up with Wax? - 6/14/2006 3:40:13 PM

slavejali

Posts: 2918
Status: offline

quote:

Not all clients come for just a relaxation treatment. But a deep tissue treatmant should not leave bruises either...if it does, its not being done right.

One client I have now I met at a social gathering. She showed me her arms after a "massage". They were bruised all over. She was quite traumatised by the experience and when she found out I was a therapist she shuddered. Anyways, I offered her a free treatment, during it, I pressed into the bone and said to her 'This is as *deep* as I can go, you can't get past bone..and you wont bruise."

The main reason for pain during massage can be the sharp kind, when there is some scar tissue (fibrosis) in the area..but even then the therapist should work the area with minimal pain. It's common knowledge that when you are in pain you tense up and that is contrary to *relaxing* muscles. Its a falacy that a painful massage is a good massage, sad thing is people are still being taught these kinds of things in training.

_____________________________

Freedom in Bondage

Different Strokes for Different Folks

"I'll always have a *soft spot* for Sadists"

(in reply to bklynbbw)

Post #: 38

RE: What's up with Wax? - 6/15/2006 4:02:24 PM

lchristym

Posts: 21
Joined: 7/5/2004
Status: offline

Hello,
You have gotten some great information here. We have a Domme here in Chicago that has perfected the "Art Of Wax Play." YES, I said ART. Watching her is amazing and the person (sub, slave, switch, and even other Dom/mes) is her canvas.

She uses parifin wax. Always tests it on her arm before applying it to Her victim (opps mean subject hehehe). She uses the little craft crock pots. Yes, more than one. She uses crayons to color the wax, it doesn't raise the temperture. However She does plug using Crayola because the cheep ones can have impurities that do cause temperture change and metal flakes.

It is not often that she just drips the wax. She uses paint brushes, sticks, her fingers, anything that will put the wax on. All kinds of them, from the smallest artist fans to the 4" painters brush. You can get cheap throw aways at most Dom Depots or Menard's.

Being the canvas is wonderful. You are warmed by the warm wax and the caring, loving interaction that is going on with the brushes and Her expertise. I haven't had the privledge of having Her do me, but I have had the privledage of someone just as skilled, only they didn't color the wax.

Hope this will give you and your Dom some insight that everything is not about pain, it is about the sensuality of the things we do. Being a pain slut doesn't mean that you have to have pain every time you scene or play. That gets very old very fast. Even us pain sluts like the light stuff once in awhile, we need sensuality too. Later. Be safe and well, have fun,
chris

(in reply to sapphirepleasure)

Post #: 39

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