Missokyst
Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
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oh, I don't mean it to seem like the abuse was the sole reason for my interests. I write, sculpt, paint, have been a dancer a singer an artist, I have worked as a bartender, a furniture mover, a clerk and a wide range of things in between. I read before age 4 but didn't talk till I was 2.5, my first 3 yrs were actually very normal. I have never let anything stop me from learning and that includes learning about my personal influences. I want to know. More correctly, I NEED to know why things happen and that desire to learn stemmed from a very early age, during those first 3 yrs I suspect. Probably why I was so quiet, I was gathering info like a small sponge not letting anything interfere. I spent a lot of time listening to conversations and storing them kind of like a recorder.
I know a lot of people don't care about why they do what they do, or what draws them into their interests, but I like to know mine. I like to know a lot of things and each thing springs me into another path of knowlege. Heck, sometimes traveling down one path of exploration leads me into another, which is why I can't stop learning, and kinda why I have done a hell of a lot unusual kinky stuff.
I do believe that we are either leaders or followers. I have been a loner but oddly often cast as a leader because when it comes to duties I believe someone has to step up, I find few are willing to do so. It is very rare for me to be a follower in anything, politics, religion, education, or even in bdsm. I have been a slave but not a follower. I have been submissive but not a follower. In slavery it was a duty and following had nothing to do with it. In submission I obey because that is the product of my life training. And even that is not following, mostly I end up working along side my mate, choosing to let him make the calls because I trust my choice. Choices for me are made carefully. It is why there have been so few men in my life even though I have been single since 23 or so.
I KNOW there are regular people who discovered bdsm and found a niche. And I also know that I took a different path and probably never will find the way to regular. Way back in 99 when I discovered that not ever one did this and certainly not everyone who did this had some ... let's say, less than savory episodes early on in life I had to come to terms with being "OK" with being me, all over again. Because there were a lot of people who were not abused and they were making some serious negative judgements on those of us who may have been abused. In this things have not changed.
Every time someone writes a book, makes a movie, or something that re-exposes the masses to kink what I hear most is "That is not the norm!" Well... from my POV at least, it may not be the norm but it is also not bad, evil, or wrong to have been introduced to things while taking a different path, IF along the way you have learned to adapt and find contentment or even joy in doing what you do.
quote:
ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4
I really can't undo all my experiences in life, so the alternative has been for me to embrace it. I've come to understand many many things much better over the years.
This might sound a bit odd, but one day my Grandfather... explained to me that there are two different kinds of people in the world. Leaders and followers. I've been pretty reserved in the last couple of years in sharing details on the Board. Personally, I while I've had to embrace the childhood abuse elements... it's far from being the only thing which set the stage. There's plenty of people "abused or not" which are into BDSM, D/s and kink in general.
_____________________________
pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil
“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley
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RE: The wrong way - 
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