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knowing what one is asking for - 6/12/2006 9:29:26 AM   
chains314


Posts: 81
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline 		When a sub or slaves sees he or she is willing to do any thing ask of them  but has no experience that is a bit dangerous for both the sub and Dominate is it not it
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RE: knowing what one is asking for - 6/12/2006 9:47:07 AM   
Theo23


Posts: 47
Joined: 5/4/2006
From: Minneapolis
Status: offline 		Chains,

      I think with no expierence it's a little unrealistic a sub or slave (assuming they're mentally healthy) would be willing to do anything. Is the sub or slave including things such as never seeing thier friends/family again, castration, or hurting people they care about at the whim of thier dominant? Often when I see a fellow submissive say the word 'anything', it does little but to show whatever Dominant is listening that the submissive doesnt have a realistic picture of D/s, and is likely more into the fantasy then reality. My two cents.

   

(in reply to chains314)
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RE: knowing what one is asking for - 6/12/2006 9:59:49 AM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline 		I agree with Theo23.
To say you will do 'anything' is an indication you know what you are getting into.  As a newbie you can only truly know what you have heard or imagined may be asked of you so you certainly don't have the full picture.
Of course there probably are subs out there who will do anything but i think they would be very few and far between.
 
To commit yourself to doing 'anything' is surely a dangerous thing in any circumstance? 
 

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

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RE: knowing what one is asking for - 6/12/2006 10:01:09 AM   
lisa1978


Posts: 224
Joined: 5/19/2006
From: Kansas City
Status: offline 		Any gross generalizations are stupid so a new person saying that you must put it in the proper context. The two things that come to my mind are either they are over romanticizing but are still sane and rational and are putting trust in you to be sane, respectful and responsible and saying and doing is very much up in the air, or they have some mental issues and yes that can mean danger for both.

To me I do not think you can judge something like that without knowing the actual context of who, how and when a submissive said it.




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It hurts sometimes more than we can bear. If we could live without passion, maybe we'd know some kind of peace. But we would be hollow. Empty rooms, shuttered and dank. Without passion, we'd be truly dead.

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RE: knowing what one is asking for - 6/12/2006 10:40:15 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		The desire to want to do anything and the ability to actually do anything are two completely different things.  Often times a submissive, particularly one who is new to his/her submission, will say something like that, really wanting to believe it.  A wise dominant will not take such a statement at face value, but will study the submissive to understand his/her real capabilities and boundaries.  One thing my Master was always careful about was ensuring I was telling him what I truthfully felt, and not what I thought he wanted to hear from me.  Sometimes submissives, in their yearning to be pleasing, believe they are ready for something they are not.  That happened to me from time to time, but my Master would always discover it in his exploration of me. 

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RE: knowing what one is asking for - 6/12/2006 11:50:40 AM   
SenseofBelonging


Posts: 69
Joined: 10/20/2005
Status: offline 		i think the op has been misunderstood. i think he's asking about his willingness to perform a specific act with which his Mistress has no experience. in my own case, Mistress has asked me to do things neither of U/us had experience with, but in each case She researched the subject well, spoke with Her mentor and other Dommes, and in a few cases, even tried it Herself first to ensure She brought no harm to Her submissive. She values what is Hers enough to do the homework.

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RE: knowing what one is asking for - 6/12/2006 11:53:02 AM   
ownedjulia


Posts: 218
Joined: 10/5/2005
Status: offline 		Yes this is all very true. I fell into that trap myself and fortunatley I have a Master who knows that sometimes anything/no limits is a phallacy.

The second time i knew what i was letting myself in for so the request was phrased slightly differently


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~julia
owned slave and proud of it!

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RE: knowing what one is asking for - 6/12/2006 11:54:29 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		willing to do anything asked of them  I took that as anything, rather than something specific.  Hopefully the OP can clarify. 

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RE: knowing what one is asking for - 6/12/2006 11:59:11 AM   
sabswife


Posts: 188
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

The desire to want to do anything and the ability to actually do anything are two completely different things.  Often times a submissive, particularly one who is new to his/her submission, will say something like that, really wanting to believe it.  A wise dominant will not take such a statement at face value, but will study the submissive to understand his/her real capabilities and boundaries.  One thing my Master was always careful about was ensuring I was telling him what I truthfully felt, and not what I thought he wanted to hear from me.  Sometimes submissives, in their yearning to be pleasing, believe they are ready for something they are not.  That happened to me from time to time, but my Master would always discover it in his exploration of me. 


i agree with this completely :)

_____________________________

"If you look inside your heart, You don't have to be afraid--Of what you are. There's an answer, If you reach into your soul--And the sorrow that you know Will melt away."


(in reply to ownedgirlie)
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RE: knowing what one is asking for - 6/12/2006 12:06:40 PM   
BreakMeShakeMe


Posts: 339
Joined: 6/6/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

The desire to want to do anything and the ability to actually do anything are two completely different things.  Often times a submissive, particularly one who is new to his/her submission, will say something like that, really wanting to believe it.  A wise dominant will not take such a statement at face value, but will study the submissive to understand his/her real capabilities and boundaries.  One thing my Master was always careful about was ensuring I was telling him what I truthfully felt, and not what I thought he wanted to hear from me.  Sometimes submissives, in their yearning to be pleasing, believe they are ready for something they are not.  That happened to me from time to time, but my Master would always discover it in his exploration of me. 


Nicely stated ..as usual...


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Wisdom is knowing what to do, Skill is knowing how to, Virtue is just doing it.

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RE: knowing what one is asking for - 6/12/2006 1:34:13 PM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		I alway clafiry it by saying i will do anything within reason and does not break my hard limits and does not harm myself or others.  Within Reason is the key phrase.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to BreakMeShakeMe)
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RE: knowing what one is asking for - 6/12/2006 8:28:36 PM   
Fawne


Posts: 462
Status: offline 		How can we really know before RL exposure or experience?

I  knew SM existed. The whips + chains, cool dominatrix', hot leathermen, the "scary" websites featuring sex slaves with  twisted, tortured expressions (um, all while being twisted and tortured <g>)

It wasn't until I heard of D/s that any of this reasonated. All my life, I had these feelings I did not have words for.

SO.. to make a long story short.. I tried it. I liked it. D/s + BDSM.  The warped expression on my own face. Who knew?

I had no idea that I was a masochist. I have a twisted nervous system that with the right person, trust, chemistry the experience can be multi layered and beyond what I can yet comprehend.

Please, this does not mean all pain is good and is only this girl's place. 
1. Pure pleasure.
2.Pleasure can go to pain and still be sensed as pleasure and pain - a full circle.
3. Pain. In devotion, for his sadistic pleasure, I am grateful to serve and be a vehicle for his passions.  Enough said.

Very complicated, at least for me. 

Thank you.
Love to all, fawne 

(in reply to littleone35)
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