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RE: Dealing with disappointment - 9/11/2012 1:41:15 PM

Arturas

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quote:

As a master, do You think that a slave feeling disappointed means they are not focused enough on Your needs?

"Feelings".

As a master I cannot control her feelings. Her feelings and thoughts are what make her very unique from another girl and her feelings are part of why I was attracted to her. A girl's feelings of disappointment might keep her from being focused on the here and now rather than what might have been and lose the opportunity to enjoy the here and now which can be better than what might have been. So, do not control her feelings but help her to realize that if the girl changes that disappointment into a catalyst for doing something new and different then she has turned a negative into something very positive for her and her's. For example, the girl can become a nurse in heels and short scrubs and wait hand and foot on the very sick very poor master and do several things to take his mind of his misery.

As far as exposing your feelings of disapointment here, it is good to not keep them bottled up and I would think writing about them helps even if you never read a single response (except mine), right? It helps you collect your thoughts on the subject, smile to yourself and go forward to find those perfect scrubs for this new weekend role, sexy nurse in hot red heels.

Get to work now, nurse.

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RE: Dealing with disappointment - 9/11/2012 3:04:08 PM

RumpusParable

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quote:

ORIGINAL: samdarella

Master's birthday was Friday. I took friday and Saturday off work to celebrate. With His permission I had planned days of fun and frolic. We were especially looking forward to some heavy bdsm play. His ex-wife that is also His best friend has been camping at His house until she gets everything arranged to move back up north. She is a sweetheart and I love her. But she is also a little squeamish about anything much more than a spanking. So in consideration (Yes ResidentSadist is considerate. My ass might be in trouble for letting that be known), He hasn't been putting me on the cross, etc. We were going to spend this week at my house where anything goes. But damn the luck, Master was very sick with a flu. He tried the "strong like a bull" attitude but the flu bug or whatever it was just kicked His butt. He was feeling somewhat better Friday, or maybe He was just heavily medicated. We went for some great Greek food and then to the comedy club. But Saturday he felt like crap again so we didn't make it to the dungeon. I was His pillow and footstool for the night. So I was happy to be serving Him in the way that He needed. I wouldn't trade my time with Him for anything no matter what. But I did feel a bit disappointed. I know this is life in the real world. But I really hoped that I wouldn't even feel any disappointment. I am not letting this emotion rule me in any way. But I feel it.

So for my question. As a slave, do you feel disappointed sometimes? Do you acknowledge it? As a master, do You think that a slave feeling disappointed means they are not focused enough on Your needs?

I know every relationship is different and the only one that matters is ours blah blah blah. But since I am new to the M/s lifestyle I am interested in others thoughts and how they deal with real life. Thanks for any insights.

I don't feel a slave being disappointed, in itself, shows a lack of focus on me... Rather how they handle it does. Do they express and feel it and move on? Or do they dwell and whine about it while giving poor service because of it?

IMO, we all get disappointed sometimes when life throws off something we had our spirits up about, how it's handled is what's important to me.

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RE: Dealing with disappointment - 9/12/2012 11:24:30 PM

ResidentSadist

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FYI

I was also disappointed. Her itinerary for my birthday included a trip to the woodshed dungeon and a Brazilian restaurant where they served flaming meat to you on swords. I love that stuff... who doesn't want a slave hand feeding them meat that was served up on swords?

Anyway, she took good care of me and attended me well. We had a blast with what energy I could muster and did do some of the other things on the itinerary. We went to a Greek restaurant and the Improv. Also, while at home, finished up a nice spanking bench and took it for a wicked test drive. I got better a few days later.

I think she started the thread because she was emotionally invested in seeing that I had a great birthday. Instead of playing hostess at the restaurant and hand feeding me chunks of meat or becoming my masochistic target on display at the local public dungeon . . . she fed me soup & sandwiches on the couch sitting quietly as my human pillow hours as I slept through several movies with my head in her lap. It wasn't a bratty thing on her part, it was that she didn't get to give me all she had hoped to on a special day like my birthday.

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RE: Dealing with disappointment - 9/12/2012 11:34:41 PM

littlewonder

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I admit there have been times when I wanted to do more for Master because he's sick, stressed, work, etc...

I tell him all the time that I wish there was more for me to do for him but he just says what I do is more than enough. Yeah, it disappoints me at times but I also know that I can't solve all his problems or fix them. There have been times he has felt the same I'm sure. We both though try not to dwell on it and we always remind ourselves that we have our entire lives to catch up.

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RE: Dealing with disappointment - 9/12/2012 11:43:33 PM

Kana

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One of the great rules of thumb in life is that when a sadist is disappointed in ya, you will know it in no uncertain terms.
We have our ways of expressing our displeasure :-)

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RE: Dealing with disappointment - 9/13/2012 12:28:19 AM

littlewonder

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

One of the great rules of thumb in life is that when a sadist is disappointed in ya, you will know it in no uncertain terms.
We have our ways of expressing our displeasure :-)

Don't I know it!

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RE: Dealing with disappointment - 9/13/2012 5:23:29 PM

samdarella

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Smiles. Thanks everyone for the encouraging words. I've been over the feelings of disappointment since last week but I had been wishing I never felt it. But yep, I'm human and feel those human emotions. Learning to let myself feel them and not suppress them has been an important part of my journey. Admitting them to others has been hard also. But I learn from my mistakes and I'm very open and honest with my feelings now. Of course Master was the first person I talked about this with. I'm far from perfect but getting better every day.

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RE: Dealing with disappointment - 9/17/2012 5:06:58 AM

DeathProof

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Nothing wrong with being disappointed when mouthing you were looking forward to falls through. But there will be another opportunity :-)

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RE: Dealing with disappointment - 9/17/2012 5:22:52 AM

chatterbox24

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Im sorry you were disappointed, I dont really have any sound advice to give, Im a HORRIBLE SLAVE LOL.

But just remember this, the care you gave him while he was sick will probably be more memorable then the play you missed.

Not for you but him. Thats when you know someone really cares and confirms it. NOT FUN for you.

Anyway it will pass. You were angel of mercy.

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RE: Dealing with disappointment - 9/17/2012 9:25:47 PM

Moonlightmaddnes

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Yeah I have felt that disappointment before. My husband was dreadfully sick on his vacation. It was sad to see him waste the time off he planned for fun and relation in bed sipping soup. This year my little girl got the flu on Christmas day. She was so sick she abandoned all her new presents to go to bed and ran a 104 fever.

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