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Physical versus Mental - 9/11/2012 1:50:40 AM   
MissBlueangel


Posts: 147
Joined: 6/28/2012
Status: offline 		How much of Bdsm is physical and how much is mental. I ask because without a mental connection I dont feel I personally could do anything . Or is that just me ?
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RE: Physical versus Mental - 9/11/2012 2:04:13 AM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		It varies.

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RE: Physical versus Mental - 9/11/2012 2:31:12 AM   
JanahX


Posts: 3443
Joined: 8/21/2010
Status: offline 		You might want to contact a professor of physics to answer this question - this is a very complicated mathematical equation here. But according to my calculations, physical is: 486532964.656￦£€® and mental is: 6994279953£¢£.®©.

Hope that helped.
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissBlueangel

How much of Bdsm is physical and how much is mental. I ask because without a mental connection I dont feel I personally could do anything . Or is that just me ?


< Message edited by JanahX -- 9/11/2012 2:33:30 AM >

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RE: Physical versus Mental - 9/11/2012 2:47:33 AM   
RaspberryLemon


Posts: 422
Joined: 7/18/2011
Status: offline 		It is different for everyone. The variation of human beings allows for each individual's feelings and motivations to be different.

For me personally, it's all about the mental. I sure do love the physical, and it's a BIG part of it--but in essence, the physical is nothing but a tactile manifestation of the mental aspects. Without the mental foundation and connection, the physical stuff means nothing to me and has zero appeal.

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RE: Physical versus Mental - 9/11/2012 2:57:23 AM   
tsatske


Posts: 2037
Joined: 3/9/2007
From: Louisville, KY
Status: offline 		Janah, I'm not good enough at math to be sure that those add up to one, LOL.

I have no interest in casual sex or casual play. I don't play at all except when in a long term, commited relationship. It's not that I haven't tried, it just doesn't work for me. My BFFwB tried beating me, but he was just doing it for me, he really gets nothing out of it. That made it not work at all, for me. It just hurt. I have the connection to him, not as romantic partners, but as friends and even lovers, but I needed to be submitting for the physical part to work for me. I tried adding a few submissive elements, like sitting at his feet, but it didn't help. Knowing that he was only doing it to please me ruined it for me, I'm afraid.

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RE: Physical versus Mental - 9/11/2012 3:09:09 AM   
areallivehuman


Posts: 277
Joined: 1/16/2010
Status: offline 		Is "normal" sex the same for you? Don't expect BDSM to be any different. Some people enjoy sportfucking, and some need a deeper connection.

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RE: Physical versus Mental - 9/11/2012 3:11:10 AM   
ARIES83


Posts: 3648
Status: offline 		The physical/mental things I do, ideally are both,
inducing the types of emotion/responses I want
for what ever reason, and fulfilling my urges,
whims, desires.

I don't really do bdsm, but I'd imagine it's much
the same deal anywhere.

I wish people would ask more specific questions...

-Aries

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530 DAYS

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RE: Physical versus Mental - 9/11/2012 6:55:16 AM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline 		How much of BDSM is mental?
About the same amount of water that is wet.

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RE: Physical versus Mental - 9/11/2012 7:51:38 AM   
RemoteUser


Posts: 2854
Joined: 5/10/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

How much of BDSM is mental?
About the same amount of water that is wet.


Sure, diss the ice cubes and cirrus clouds.

I do agree that any sexual act starts in the big head before getting to the little one. (The spine is a close second, being the messenger and all.) After the head kicks in and the body reacts, you can be all touchy and stuff.

Unless you're a nymphomaniac, in which case you have no choice and thought isn't really all that pertinent.



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RE: Physical versus Mental - 9/11/2012 8:13:36 AM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RemoteUser


quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

How much of BDSM is mental?
About the same amount of water that is wet.


Sure, diss the ice cubes and cirrus clouds.

I do agree that any sexual act starts in the big head before getting to the little one. (The spine is a close second, being the messenger and all.) After the head kicks in and the body reacts, you can be all touchy and stuff.

Unless you're a nymphomaniac, in which case you have no choice and thought isn't really all that pertinent.



Grins
I knew, as in knewknewknew that someone would split hairs (It's the net-that's how we roll). I shoulda said equal to the round part of a billiards ball :-)

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"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

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RE: Physical versus Mental - 9/11/2012 9:21:38 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		OP, your question is dependent on individuals. To me, it is all mental; without it the physical really doesn't work.

Think of it like this: if someone spills candle wax on you by accident in a vanilla restaurant vs. being tied up and having someone drip wax on you, there is a world of difference in the feeling, at least for me.

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RE: Physical versus Mental - 9/11/2012 9:48:26 AM   
culareD


Posts: 762
Joined: 8/16/2012
Status: offline 		I have always wanted my partner to get into my mind...without the mental aspect, I pretty much bored. That being said, I believe it is different for everyone.

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RE: Physical versus Mental - 9/11/2012 10:00:24 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissBlueangel

How much of Bdsm is physical and how much is mental. I ask because without a mental connection I dont feel I personally could do anything . Or is that just me ?


Depends.

Without a deep mental connection, for her, a sense of being mine, then I really don't have any interest in playing the game.

The mean nasty sadist in me, doesn't even have to like the person to want to hurt them. In fact, it's even more fun if I don't. Fortunately for the rest of the world I have ethics and morals......and a lot of self control. Not to mention an aversion to being locked up.

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Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: Physical versus Mental - 9/11/2012 10:52:42 AM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline 		Oh fuck... 99.99% for me.

Or what Kana said. About billiard balls.

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RE: Physical versus Mental - 9/11/2012 11:39:41 AM   
NiceButMeanGirl


Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline 		I'm not sure of the actual percentages for me, but there's a lot of both. And, for me, there has to be both. All I know is that the combination of the mental and physical creates a lot of luscious stuffs between my sub and I.

NBMG

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RE: Physical versus Mental - 9/11/2012 11:54:21 AM   
ARIES83


Posts: 3648
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana


quote:

ORIGINAL: RemoteUser


quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

How much of BDSM is mental?
About the same amount of water that is wet.


Sure, diss the ice cubes and cirrus clouds.

I do agree that any sexual act starts in the big head before getting to the little one. (The spine is a close second, being the messenger and all.) After the head kicks in and the body reacts, you can be all touchy and stuff.

Unless you're a nymphomaniac, in which case you have no choice and thought isn't really all that pertinent.



Grins
I knew, as in knewknewknew that someone would split hairs (It's the net-that's how we roll). I shoulda said equal to the round part of a billiards ball :-)


So your saying, the mental stuff is only on the surface !?
What about the inside of the billiard ball!?



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530 DAYS

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RE: Physical versus Mental - 9/11/2012 12:00:37 PM   
Darkfeather


Posts: 1142
Joined: 3/13/2007
Status: offline 		It is answer to that age old question, what is the largest sexual organ in the human body? It's how much that brain plays in your relationships/connections to sensations, etc.

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RE: Physical versus Mental - 9/11/2012 1:28:50 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Are you happy with an online only relationship? If so, then it's 100% mental for you.

If not, then it's less than that. I need some physicality, I can't do with just the mental. Other need more physical than me and some need less. What matters is that you know what you need and don't settle for a relationship that won't work for you.

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RE: Physical versus Mental - 9/11/2012 2:46:12 PM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissBlueangel

How much of Bdsm is physical and how much is mental. I ask because without a mental connection I dont feel I personally could do anything . Or is that just me ?


Probably about the same as an intimate vanilla relationship - but with rules and more props. Because it's a *relationship*, first.

So yeah, I echo your thoughts; that it's not just you. If I don't like or connect with her as a person I wanna spend the majority of my time with, I don't much care for having my way with her when we've got some spare time away from our real lives.

Focus.

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RE: Physical versus Mental - 9/11/2012 7:52:45 PM   
RumpusParable


Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissBlueangel

How much of Bdsm is physical and how much is mental. I ask because without a mental connection I dont feel I personally could do anything . Or is that just me ?


Depends on what you mean by "connection". I have to feel comfortable playing with the person (not disliking the person, relaxed in the environment, etc) but I don't need anything mystical or a deep-seated need for them or anything. Basically, I need the same amount of "connection" as I have with anyone I'm comfortable in the same room with.

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Relationships come and go, but plastination is forever.

I generally use fast-reply. If directing my post at someone specific I will indicate so.

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