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JustDragonflies -> RE: Hello, question about the site (9/13/2012 4:21:15 PM)
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OP:
I'm chiming in with some contrary feed back from what was offered to you. I'm not sure if its a generational thing (no offense if some of you who said this aren't a generation ahead of me!) or what... but I have never associated yahoo messenger, or any for that matter with assumed "fakeness" or even a redflag per se.
(And in my ever humble opinion, a bot isn't a major time waste or problem on this site... at all. It's immediately obvious and like five sentences is too many to NOT already know it's a bot, and at that point I'm amused--- not in a rage [;)] so ... Don't worry about bots!)
Additionally, I personally tend to offer my YIM after an email or two just because it's a faster, more "natural" feeling, more fluid way to converse. And yes, I'm a real person and I've met quite a few people from this website (and others) and actually met my significant other on this website (several years ago)! So there's some hope for you. Matches can and do happen! I often tell people that what you give is usually what you get.
For me, the most important thing in figuring out whether someone is "real" or not is the content of their conversation at whatever place we may be talking, YIM or CM, or etc etc. The fact that we're talking *there* is irrelevant to me. It's what they have to say, how they say it, and how they demonstrate their personality and character. Are they sex-focused? Are they intelligent? Do they try to pressure me or usurp my boundaries? Etc etc.
Do a few good, in depth conversations mean they're legitimately representing themselves? No. But it's a good place to start. People have a lot of different ways they proceed forward once they find a real person. It takes time to figure out what works for you.
Is this a foolproof method? No. But dating involves some controlled risks and some time wasting. It takes effort to find something worth having, you know?
My last tip on making it better and easier to use this site for dating is this: put quite a bit of effort and thought into your profile. It is your first impression. And someone who's clearly put effort into it usually doesn't even attract a vast array of time wasters. You'll always get messages from people sending out a really obvious form letter to literally every single person who happens to be in your demographic of gender and D/s orientation. In my experience, if your profile IS pretty well thought out then it gives the real people more to respond to and gives you a better opportunity to identify if they're interested in you for legitimate reasons right off the bat.
Have fun!
PS: Figure out what a safe call is and be prepared for meeting a stranger safely for the first times. Using safe calls are better prevention than anything. [:)]
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