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RE: how come a lot of weddings have cocktail hours, wit... - 9/13/2012 9:57:37 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I have a niece who had a huge fancy wedding, something like 500 people there. It was gigantic and her husband also comes from a well to do family and so most who were there were the elite rich people.

They had a really beautiful cocktail hour before dinner and it was a lot of fun. You got a chance to shmooz with the the rich people, look at all the beautiful dresses all the women were wearing. As for snack there, they had a chocolate fountain and strawberries.

Then later on they had a formal sit down dinner of lobster or filet mignon and as much champagne you could drink. Then there was a beautiful dance floor with a real classical orchestra present.

It was one of my favorite weddings I have ever been to.



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RE: how come a lot of weddings have cocktail hours, wit... - 9/13/2012 10:26:08 PM   
Winterapple


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Joined: 8/19/2011
Status: offline 		The weddings I've enjoyed most were less formal.
My favorite was an outside wedding in the
country where the party went on past midnight.
It cost plenty, live music, elaborate lighting,
a big BBQ spread with all kinds of stuff
to eat drink. It was very festive to say the
least. As long as the bride and groom are
happy and celebrate their day the way they
wish to is the most important thing.

I was pretty much over the big wedding
thing early on having seen so many up
close and been a part of so many.
There's just other stuff I'd rather spend
my/our money on.


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RE: how come a lot of weddings have cocktail hours, wit... - 9/13/2012 11:30:13 PM   
nephandi


Posts: 4470
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From: Cold and magickal Norway in a town near Bergen!
Status: offline 		Greetings

Do not ask me, I have never understood spending that much on a single day. Off course if I where rich and did not need to pick and choose what I spend money on, but those that take up loans to have lavish weddings that I have never understood, is not the point to get married is it not then better to have a party one can actually afford? But what do I know, to each their own.

I wish you well

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RE: how come a lot of weddings have cocktail hours, wit... - 9/13/2012 11:37:04 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		For the formal one I mentioned about my neice, I can figure out why the expensive wedding.....to schmooze, network, be seen by your co-workers or manager that you are the type of person they want in their "club".

Personally I like going to big fundraisers and parties because they are amazing places to network. It's all in who you know.


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RE: how come a lot of weddings have cocktail hours, wit... - 9/13/2012 11:48:07 PM   
yourdarkdesire


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From: NeverNeverLand
Status: offline 		I had the biggest wedding in my family. Everybody else lived in small towns, I was the only city girl. The only hotal reception. We invited 250, 90% of that family, very few friends. We ended up with 90 attending, and it was perfect.

We ran out of the church to the limo, but still got ambushed with rice. We held our receiving line during the cocktail hour.

Why a big wedding? Because we are so spread out (and I am an only child), that my family onky gathers at weddings and funerals. I have also found that guests, at least in my family, tend to drink less, when the drinks are free. Having hosted their own daughters weddings, they know how expensive an open bar can get. If you are paying for your own drinks, nobody can really tell you how much you can have.

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RE: how come a lot of weddings have cocktail hours, wit... - 9/14/2012 12:28:24 AM   
kitkat105


Posts: 1690
Joined: 11/29/2011
From: Eating dutch crunch in the Silicon Valley
Status: offline 		Ah ha! I feel qualified to answer this, seeing as I got married last week!

We had a lot of food at our wedding reception. Our reception was small (20 guests) but we had multiple appetizers served family style, along with an entree and then wedding cake for dessert. Since we had ours at a small restaurant, we got to box some of the leftovers to take home.

The thing to remember when eating in any situation is just because the food is there, doesn't mean you have to gorge yourself on "free food". Taste a little bit of everything. Enjoy foods that you might not get to at home or wouldn't try normally.

Realistically you should be busy socialising & celebrating - food is there as a background. And anyway, there are few celebrations in life as big or special as a wedding, so why not splurge?

Edited: Weddings can be as simple or as elaborate as you want. At the end of the day you have to be happy with it. The day goes so fast and believe me, once it's done if you could do it all over, you would. It's amazing.

< Message edited by kitkat105 -- 9/14/2012 12:34:36 AM >

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RE: how come a lot of weddings have cocktail hours, wit... - 9/14/2012 8:06:54 AM   
LaTigresse


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom

It might change when I am actually getting married and stuff, but I don't want my dad to break his bank for my wedding.


You could do like most women I know today do and pay for your wedding yourself.

The days of the father of the bride being forced to pay for his adult daughter's spoilt wants are over. If a bride's parents WISH to contribute, great........but no self respecting woman should expect her parents to pay for her wedding. That is outdated thinking.

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RE: how come a lot of weddings have cocktail hours, wit... - 9/14/2012 8:24:41 AM   
OsideGirl


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom

A lot of people see free food and they just tank up as much as possible lol.
Actually, what happens is people see free alcohol and tank up. Hence the food.


quote:

I suppose also the hour gives the people time to set up the reception room,
Typically, it's to fill the time when the posed photos are being taken, so that it doesn't leave the guests hanging while waiting for the wedding party to show up.


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RE: how come a lot of weddings have cocktail hours, wit... - 9/14/2012 8:39:43 AM   
OsideGirl


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From: United States
Status: offline 		Master and I tend to go big for our anniversary. We typically go to Donovans or Mr A's and have an outrageous dinner.

When we got married, we had about 40 people come to Las Vegas and had fun with our closest friends and family for the weekend.

We've been talking about having a big event for our 15th, with a vow renewal and reception.

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RE: how come a lot of weddings have cocktail hours, wit... - 9/14/2012 9:54:08 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
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quote:

You could do like most women I know today do and pay for your wedding yourself.

The days of the father of the bride being forced to pay for his adult daughter's spoilt wants are over. If a bride's parents WISH to contribute, great........but no self respecting woman should expect her parents to pay for her wedding. That is outdated thinking.


My husband and I paid for our wedding reception ourselves but considering we were in the USAF Okinawa, the reception was very small, and our only expense for guests was a keg of beer. (I wasn't a foodie then - these days there would be food.)

My sister had the traditional humungous wedding. Not sure how much my father chipped in, but am sure they both kicked in amounts in the 5 figures. She was about 10 years out of college and had saved and planned for it.

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RE: how come a lot of weddings have cocktail hours, wit... - 9/14/2012 9:55:23 AM   
kalikshama


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quote:

Actually, what happens is people see free alcohol and tank up. Hence the food.


Yes, an open bar on an empty stomach is a recipe for disaster.

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RE: how come a lot of weddings have cocktail hours, wit... - 9/14/2012 10:05:12 AM   
searching4mysir


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Status: offline 		Master and I are talking about getting married aboard a cruise ship while in our departing port. Our guests come aboard, ceremony and small reception (no more than 50 including us) then they leave and we go on our honeymoon.

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RE: how come a lot of weddings have cocktail hours, wit... - 9/14/2012 10:49:51 AM   
needlesandpins


Posts: 3901
Status: offline 		i don't get the whole huge wedding day thing at all. i get that people want to celebrate their union with each other, but why the hell so much cash has to be spent i don't know. if you've got the cash then cool, but the fact is is that most couples don't. they take out huge loans for it putting themselves in dept before they've even started. it makes no sence to me at all.

my brother sent me an invite to his engagement party a couple of months ago. i didn't actually go as i wasn't feeling well, but it turns out that they actually got married on that day, but didn't want people to know. the party was to let everyone know.

i've never wanted to be married so have never had to think about it. but i guess if i needed to do something i'd go for a pagan blessing in a woodland, and a bbq afterwards for friends, and such. even that would be at a major push though.

each to their own, and all that as usual.

needles

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RE: how come a lot of weddings have cocktail hours, wit... - 9/14/2012 9:34:01 PM   
Toppingfrmbottom


Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline 		I am his only daughter and the youngest out of the other two kids I am the one he's closest to. and the only one he sees cause the other two never bother to come around. So I am pretty sure he'd want to chip in. But I won't demand he does or nothing.

I am actually thinking that if we ever get married I want it to be just James and I and my parents and my MIL and that's it. We'll have a party and invite guests after it's all said and done.


quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse


quote:

ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom

It might change when I am actually getting married and stuff, but I don't want my dad to break his bank for my wedding.


You could do like most women I know today do and pay for your wedding yourself.

The days of the father of the bride being forced to pay for his adult daughter's spoilt wants are over. If a bride's parents WISH to contribute, great........but no self respecting woman should expect her parents to pay for her wedding. That is outdated thinking.


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RE: how come a lot of weddings have cocktail hours, wit... - 9/14/2012 9:46:13 PM   
Baroana


Posts: 1480
Joined: 11/13/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kitkat105

Ah ha! I feel qualified to answer this, seeing as I got married last week!

We had a lot of food at our wedding reception. Our reception was small (20 guests) but we had multiple appetizers served family style, along with an entree and then wedding cake for dessert. Since we had ours at a small restaurant, we got to box some of the leftovers to take home.

The thing to remember when eating in any situation is just because the food is there, doesn't mean you have to gorge yourself on "free food". Taste a little bit of everything. Enjoy foods that you might not get to at home or wouldn't try normally.

Realistically you should be busy socialising & celebrating - food is there as a background. And anyway, there are few celebrations in life as big or special as a wedding, so why not splurge?

Edited: Weddings can be as simple or as elaborate as you want. At the end of the day you have to be happy with it. The day goes so fast and believe me, once it's done if you could do it all over, you would. It's amazing.



Congratulations!

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RE: how come a lot of weddings have cocktail hours, wit... - 9/14/2012 11:15:34 PM   
Toppingfrmbottom


Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline 		Yes, congratulations!

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RE: how come a lot of weddings have cocktail hours, wit... - 9/15/2012 12:01:00 AM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom

I am actually thinking that if we ever get married I want it to be just James and I and my parents and my MIL and that's it. We'll have a party and invite guests after it's all said and done.


I'm good enough to come to your party and bring a gift but not good enough to experience the sacred part of the ceremony? I would consider that a huge insult.

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RE: how come a lot of weddings have cocktail hours, wit... - 9/15/2012 12:49:53 AM   
tsatske


Posts: 2037
Joined: 3/9/2007
From: Louisville, KY
Status: offline 		sunshine,
I personally wouldn't be insulted if the ceromony were being kept very small, like immedeate family only. I've also seen it done with destination weddings. My sister and one of my other sister's church friends had destination weddings, and they did this.

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RE: how come a lot of weddings have cocktail hours, wit... - 9/15/2012 7:44:22 AM   
Kaliko


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Joined: 9/25/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss


quote:

ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom

I am actually thinking that if we ever get married I want it to be just James and I and my parents and my MIL and that's it. We'll have a party and invite guests after it's all said and done.


I'm good enough to come to your party and bring a gift but not good enough to experience the sacred part of the ceremony? I would consider that a huge insult.



I wouldn't consider that insulting at all. If that's how the couple wants to hold their wedding, more power to them. It's their day. As long as it's an open bar at the party. :)

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RE: how come a lot of weddings have cocktail hours, wit... - 9/15/2012 8:23:26 AM   
yourdarkdesire


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From: NeverNeverLand
Status: offline 		The other version I have seen is an open ceremony with a private reception. My cousin had one of these when she got married in Vancouver, as her reception was a dinner cruise. It was the best reception I have ever been to, and that includes my own. The downside? The bride got seasick! LOL!

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