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why does my age bother people? - 9/14/2012 1:11:11 PM   
Unsavedher0


Posts: 2
Joined: 9/13/2012
Status: offline 		Every dominatrix i have messaged is creeped out by the fact that im 18. would they rather have an old saggy man i dont get it?
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RE: why does my age bother people? - 9/14/2012 1:16:04 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Many women don't want someone young enough to be their CHILD. It's a preference.

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RE: why does my age bother people? - 9/14/2012 1:18:17 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Unsavedher0

Every dominatrix i have messaged is creeped out by the fact that im 18. would they rather have an old saggy man i dont get it?



Because 18 year old guys tend to be immature and they don't feel like dealing with it.

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RE: why does my age bother people? - 9/14/2012 1:19:28 PM   
fetisheden


Posts: 274
Joined: 1/25/2011
Status: offline 		you are very young & obviously know nothing of the world.men & women want different things.if you were female, all the men would be killing themselves to get with you.for them youth=beauty & naivete.

for a woman youth = immaturity,children, etc.no woman in her right mind wants to have sex with children. focus on gaining your skills, going offline for a partner, & hoefully you will find what you are looking for.

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RE: why does my age bother people? - 9/14/2012 1:21:48 PM   
Hillwilliam


Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline 		OP, most people enter into a relationship for reasons other than to have a nice tight body to fuck. They want someone that they can talk to, someone who has shared experiences. You won't find that with someone either half or twice your age. I mean, for a one off kinda thing, I like banging a tight 20-year-old just as much as the next 50+ year old guy ( bet that visual creeped you out didn't it) but for a relationship, I want someone closer to my age and mentality.

Remember, that visual you had of an old, bald, grey bearded dude with a girl your age that creeped you out?

It works the same way the other way around.

Google TNG munch groups in your area and you'll find someone that can keep up with you physically AND mentally.
TNG stands for The Next Generation. 18-35 yo kinky folks.

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RE: why does my age bother people? - 9/14/2012 1:22:35 PM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline 		Because at 18 years old, you come across as immature and quite shallow. Who wants to deal with that?

I'll take my 60 year old sub who has maturity, intelligence, and great wit.

If you manage to hook up with someone who wants the young tight body, good on you, it means they are as shallow as you are.

Now, welcome to CM.



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RE: why does my age bother people? - 9/14/2012 1:40:25 PM   
Killerangel


Posts: 1169
Joined: 8/3/2010
Status: offline 		Nice comment there about the saggy old man. That is exactly why no Dominant wants you as an 18 year old. You couldn't have illustrated it any better.

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RE: why does my age bother people? - 9/14/2012 2:13:10 PM   
nephandi


Posts: 4470
Joined: 9/23/2005
From: Cold and magickal Norway in a town near Bergen!
Status: offline 		Greetings

I am 30 and I have no interest in a 18 year old, now I am not a Dom but this is rather general for all walks of life. I want a man with the same level of life experience as myself. My mother is 60 and when she go dating she would not want someone who is 30 not because she have anything against 30 year olds but because they are not in the same place in life as her. I know you do not get it, but that is part of why these female Dominants are not interested, they want a man old enough to get it. What about looking for a Dom closer to your own age?

I wish you well

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RE: why does my age bother people? - 9/14/2012 2:22:06 PM   
Delilya


Posts: 4108
Joined: 2/2/2011
Status: offline 		The "saggy old men" comment sums it up nicely for me. You could easily have left that off and asked only about your age. The fact that you felt it necessary to insult, shows to me, your maturity level.

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RE: why does my age bother people? - 9/14/2012 2:26:32 PM   
AthenaSurrenders


Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline 		-fast reply-

How old are the dommes you are approaching?

Heck, I'm only 25 and I wouldn't go for an 18 year old. I'm guessing you just left school this year. You could possibly be in your first year of university, which is a half-step towards independent living. We're in completely different places in life. I've lived with a partner, ran a household for a few years, managed bills, I've got a kid, worked in a professional environment - that's very different than college. We'd have very little in common. I'd also have very little in common with someone who was looking forward to retirement, kids already raised and out of the house. You will change massively in the next few years - I know you don't wanna hear that, because you're more mature now than you ever have been. But the next four or five years are about you figuring out what kind of adult you are and you will be making huge leaps. At 30, a 15 year age gap probably won't be a dealbreaker, but at 18...

Yes sexual attraction is important, but it's not everything. I'll take a guy who's weathered a bit but has some life experience over someone who is the image of physical perfection but has nothing to say to be outside of the bedroom. Even if we're going at it like bunnies, the vast majority of our time is spent NOT fucking. And although an 18 year old from your perspective is as hot as a person can get, your tastes will change somewhat. Honestly. One day you will look at an 18 year old and think 'but you're so young!'

There's nothing wrong with being young and kinky. In fact, it's great! But be realistic. Find someone close to your age and impress them with both your young svelte body AND your personality. Yes, that might mean they're not very experienced in kink, but so what, neither are you? Learn together. And in the mean time work on making yourself a mature, interesting person if you want to be appealing to older dommes in the next few years. Study, get a good job, learn about the world and yourself, have some interesting hobbies, deal with your own flaws and believe me, you will be an irresistible 25 year old.

Your post came across as immature and sulky. Think how a potential domme might read that. It sounds like you are stamping your foot because no one seems to get that you're young and hot and so everyone should want you!

The good news is, you are getting older every day. Soon you too will be one of those saggy old men all the dommes are lusting after.

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RE: why does my age bother people? - 9/14/2012 2:48:00 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Killerangel

Nice comment there about the saggy old man. That is exactly why no Dominant wants you as an 18 year old. You couldn't have illustrated it any better.


Exactly!


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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: why does my age bother people? - 9/14/2012 2:59:59 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Yanno OP, the more I think about it the more you annoy me. It's dumbshit comments like you've made that help give the sincere young guys a bad .....whatever that damned word is I cannot think of at the moment.

You come across as yet another, do me bottom calling himself a submissive or slave, expecting your target market domme to fall at your feet just because YOU believe you are young and hot. Get the fuck over yourself!

Obviously, those women are not as shallow as you are. I suggest you go back to dating and chasing hot drunk college girls. You might have a chance. Then, when you've finally realized that all that shit doesn't do it for you, and a few of those chicks ripped out your heart and stomped on it, you might have found a clue. Right about the time you get near 30 or so. Hopefully, you haven't fucked up too much by then and have the ability to sustain a healthy relationship that isn't about what sags or doesn't.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: why does my age bother people? - 9/14/2012 3:01:46 PM   
BambiBoi


Posts: 461
Joined: 8/10/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders

...Clipped for brevity...

The good news is, you are getting older every day. Soon you too will be one of those saggy old men all the dommes are lusting after.


He's working on that as fast as he can.

As a young man in a kinky world, my twisted heart goes out for OP. While being a hot young gun often means being immature (a case exacerbated by whining about it) Athena pointed out some reasons that might help.

Just keep looking and living life. Work on your kinks with boys or girls you meet/date to see what you like. A partner doesn't need to be into 24/7 TPE to enjoy being tied down a little bit. Go sow your wild oats. In my experience, young people find way more success on FL than CM. I've looked at plenty of CollarMe profiles. Of CM profiles, I'd wager 4/5 women under 24 are either a) married/owned/not looking or b) pro-something. I'd go as high as 9/10. This is a target poor environment for young kinky girls.

Get a few years ahead, and that group (lets say 24-30) wants someone who has a budding career, an established sense of self (not "encounter with somebody. orientation doesn't matter" as per your profile). A little security is not a bad thing either. Certainly a play space that isn't a college dorm or the guest house of Mom's place.

After that, you're beginning to meet people who want life goals. I guess. I don't really know what 30-45 year old women want. I only ever talk to them professionally or when they get together in roving packs to drain expensive bars during happy hour divorcé feeding frenzies.

After that, you start to encounter people who laugh at your age and hit you with "you could be my child." Ugh, I hate hearing it, but its true. I could be. So if that's a problem for them, "we" are not going to work out. In my experience, though, older women (and men, if I may be so bold) don't care about age when you interact with them on equal footing. I have comparable likes in music to those who were 18 in the 70's. It's not a wonder that the young 50's couple I submit to like me very much.

Now, there are PLENTY of people who don't fall into the stages of life that Bambi has bundled together over 4 minutes for an online post. It's not a biological fact of human socio-development, but it might help.

So here's my advice: Buck up, leg it out, fuck bitches, make money.

< Message edited by BambiBoi -- 9/14/2012 3:05:36 PM >

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RE: why does my age bother people? - 9/14/2012 3:17:38 PM   
MsLadySue


Posts: 2254
Joined: 12/18/2004
Status: offline 		OP I checked your profile and all you say is, "Looking for a real encounter with somebody. orientation doesn't matter". If you messaged me and I looked at your profile I would assume you are looking for a sexual encounter. One of the points often made on the forums is, if you have trouble getting dates/laid in the vanilla world, things won't be any better in the kink world.

You need to fill out your profile. Tell people about you as a person. Leave the kinks for the list on the left and tell us about your interests, hobbies, experience if any.


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RE: why does my age bother people? - 9/14/2012 5:01:21 PM   
FrostedFlake


Posts: 3084
Joined: 3/4/2009
From: Centralia, Washington
Status: offline 		I love the way the ladies just tore you a new one.

As in, of course.

What's up with that?

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RE: why does my age bother people? - 9/14/2012 5:08:27 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Do you really want to know, OP?

The truth of the matter is, those so-called "saggy" older guys know a hell of a lot more about pleasing a woman than damn near any eighteen year old. Shoot! Even guys by around twenty-five have made leaps and bounds in maturity, prowess, and responsibility. Those types of things, and others, are what attract women. Obviously, you are using techniques that do not.


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RE: why does my age bother people? - 9/15/2012 6:54:52 AM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline 		FR

I love how the choice is between 18 years old and 'saggy.' Like there's not a whole spectrum of men in between.

OP, your age bothers people because it bothers them. People have preferences. You can whine about them, or you can work on becoming so FUCKING AWESOME that they stop applying to you. Or you can just wait and get a bit older. Them's the choices, basically.

(Hint: whining is not the attractive option.)

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RE: why does my age bother people? - 9/15/2012 7:09:56 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		*loves me some VC*




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RE: why does my age bother people? - 9/15/2012 7:12:20 AM   
Musicmystery


Posts: 30259
Joined: 3/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Unsavedher0

Every dominatrix i have messaged is creeped out by the fact that im 18. would they rather have an old saggy man i dont get it?

The last part is why. You don't get it.

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RE: why does my age bother people? - 9/15/2012 7:30:30 AM   
DomDaddy155


Posts: 25
Joined: 4/9/2006
Status: offline 		Suddenly I feel like Goldilocks. "This one's too young! This one's too old! This one's juuuuussst right!". People pplace way too much importance on physical age and not enough on emotional maturity.

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