quote:

ORIGINAL: ARIES83

Look, there are actual guys out there who are
Not liars, they are not cheating or using D/s to
get blow-jobs but you have to wade through a
hell of a lot of shitheads to find them so you can
either become a nun or keep searching, if you
keep looking expect to run into more wankers,
but keep your mind on the goal and don't get
let it get to you.

For me I would go from CMail very quickly and
hit MSN messenger or something for real time
texting, I don't have a cam but I would probably
buy one to play around and see what skypes like.

At this point we would have both seen what the
other looks like, and found out any information
like kids, job, likes & dislikes that might be deal
breakers No commands, just two people
getting to know each other.

Then I would suggest a meet if all was going well,
like cafe lunch followed by some light shopping
and knowing me probably bad jokes and clever
flirting!

The point is, If a "Dom" at any point before your
comfortable with him, tries to use D/s as shortcut
to bypass the need for having relationship skills,
he is either inexperienced or a player IMO.

Just be honest and open, you can't control what
he does but if he's acting like a spy or something,
not able to talk or be places for various reasons
then I say save yourself the drama and just find a
Dom that is in charge of his life at least.

-Aries

quote:

ORIGINAL: ARIES83


No commands, just two people
getting to know each other.
-Aries

quote:

ORIGINAL: Arturas
Exactly. Great advice clearly from real world experience. Nicely put without judgement or rant. Yes, get to know each other before developing a relationship using vanilla meetings and my personal favorite is the Saturday lunch. At the most, if all is going well in the lunch meeting, do not be surprised if he asks you to sit beside him and that he wishes you to take food offered from his hand and fingers. Honestly guys, if you are hitting it off she will actually enjoy this even though it will cause a visual stir in the waitress, I promise they will not throw you out. Beside, both you and she will ignore anyone else since you are both in a private 'bubble' of your own making, as a Dom, where only you and she exist. See? No blow jobs or quickies but a bubble you set-up where you show your desire and ability to lead and provide using a simple thing like feeding her with your hand as she surely responds by licking your fingers. To continue, you have ice cream cones, dipped or undipped, across the road at basken robbins and you call her later and set-up dinner for the next meeting ...

There, this is how I and I am sure others have in similar ways, met and developed a relationship with their submissives, the beautiful women who are the ying to our yang.

Don't forget the ice cream cones and order something for lunch you can actually pick-up. Like bites of steak you cut-up and feed her with your fingers. Details matter.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MariaB

quote:

ORIGINAL: ARIES83


No commands, just two people
getting to know each other.
-Aries

quote:

ORIGINAL: Arturas
Exactly. Great advice clearly from real world experience. Nicely put without judgement or rant. Yes, get to know each other before developing a relationship using vanilla meetings and my personal favorite is the Saturday lunch. At the most, if all is going well in the lunch meeting, do not be surprised if he asks you to sit beside him and that he wishes you to take food offered from his hand and fingers. Honestly guys, if you are hitting it off she will actually enjoy this even though it will cause a visual stir in the waitress, I promise they will not throw you out. Beside, both you and she will ignore anyone else since you are both in a private 'bubble' of your own making, as a Dom, where only you and she exist. See? No blow jobs or quickies but a bubble you set-up where you show your desire and ability to lead and provide using a simple thing like feeding her with your hand as she surely responds by licking your fingers. To continue, you have ice cream cones, dipped or undipped, across the road at basken robbins and you call her later and set-up dinner for the next meeting ...

There, this is how I and I am sure others have in similar ways, met and developed a relationship with their submissives, the beautiful women who are the ying to our yang.

Don't forget the ice cream cones and order something for lunch you can actually pick-up. Like bites of steak you cut-up and feed her with your fingers. Details matter.

So the bit you bolded and praised Aires for isn't something you actually do, otherwise you wouldn't be making them sit next to you and getting them to eat out of your hand.

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

in a public venue, I'd smack the dogshit outta some guy that insisted that I eat food from his hand. Then, I would leave.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Arturas



Exactly. Great advice clearly from real world experience. Nicely put without judgement or rant. Yes, get to know each other before developing a relationship using vanilla meetings and my personal favorite is the Saturday lunch. At the most, if all is going well in the lunch meeting, do not be surprised if he asks you to sit beside him and that he wishes you to take food offered from his hand and fingers.

quote:

I don't know if you pick your ass and don't wash your hands.)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Arturas

quote:

I don't know if you pick your ass and don't wash your hands.)

I understand that response. It is sensible. But do you not really know soon after meeting him? If not, then when do you know that? I think soon, in the first meeting, before the food arrives. If you don't, then it will be a very short dinner anyways I think.

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: Arturas

quote:

I don't know if you pick your ass and don't wash your hands.)

I understand that response. It is sensible. But do you not really know soon after meeting him? If not, then when do you know that? I think soon, in the first meeting, before the food arrives. If you don't, then it will be a very short dinner anyways I think.

Nope. I tend to not know people's bathroom habits shortly after meeting them.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Arturas

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: Arturas

quote:

I don't know if you pick your ass and don't wash your hands.)

I understand that response. It is sensible. But do you not really know soon after meeting him? If not, then when do you know that? I think soon, in the first meeting, before the food arrives. If you don't, then it will be a very short dinner anyways I think.

Nope. I tend to not know people's bathroom habits shortly after meeting them.

Do you kiss on the first date?

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

in a public venue, I'd smack the dogshit outta some guy that insisted that I eat food from his hand. Then, I would leave.

quote:

Honestly guys, if you are hitting it off she will actually enjoy this even though it will cause a visual stir in the waitress, I promise they will not throw you out. Beside, both you and she will ignore anyone else since you are both in a private 'bubble' of your own making, as a Dom, where only you and she exist. See? No blow jobs or quickies but a bubble you set-up where you show your desire and ability to lead and provide using a simple thing like feeding her with your hand as she surely responds by licking your fingers. To continue, you have ice cream cones, dipped or undipped, across the road at basken robbins and you call her later and set-up dinner for the next meeting ...

There, this is how I and I am sure others have in similar ways, met and developed a relationship with their submissives, the beautiful women who are the ying to our yang.

Don't forget the ice cream cones

quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

quote:

Honestly guys, if you are hitting it off she will actually enjoy this even though it will cause a visual stir in the waitress, I promise they will not throw you out. Beside, both you and she will ignore anyone else since you are both in a private 'bubble' of your own making, as a Dom, where only you and she exist. See? No blow jobs or quickies but a bubble you set-up where you show your desire and ability to lead and provide using a simple thing like feeding her with your hand as she surely responds by licking your fingers. To continue, you have ice cream cones, dipped or undipped, across the road at basken robbins and you call her later and set-up dinner for the next meeting ...

There, this is how I and I am sure others have in similar ways, met and developed a relationship with their submissives, the beautiful women who are the ying to our yang.

Don't forget the ice cream cones

I strive to comport myself in public in such a way that will not cause visual stirs in the staff.

I recently kicked someone to the curb who thought it would be amusing to Involve the Public in Our Kink at an ice cream stand and again at a restaurant.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus



Insisted? Yeah. But yanno... I have absolutely fed dates from my fork/spoon. Whether they accept it ("here, taste this, it's lovely!") or cringe tells me a great deal.

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

Eating from someone's hands on a first date?? I would find it extremely weird and uncomfortable, especially in public. I think I would look at him and wonder what the hell he was trying to do.

Now the first night I met Master and we went for dessert at a little diner, he did feed me some of his dessert from a spoon but that's not all that weird to me because people do that all the time when they try the other person's food or just being a little romantic. But eating from the person's hands?? EEeerr..just too weird for me.

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus



Insisted? Yeah. But yanno... I have absolutely fed dates from my fork/spoon. Whether they accept it ("here, taste this, it's lovely!") or cringe tells me a great deal.

Yeah, but you're not doing that to try to create a dynamic. You're doing it because, "Hmmm, this is good. Try it."

But, if someone used feeding me to create a dynamic on the the very first meeting, it wouldn't last very long.