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Online vs real time - 9/18/2012 4:09:18 AM   
hairlover123


Posts: 71
Joined: 4/1/2012
Status: offline 		I was just wondering do you think that online domination is a step backwards for a semi newbie in the lifestyle?

What i mean by that is if you get experience strictly online, do you think that it could hurt you or better you when it comes to a real life situation?

sorry if this have been posted before..
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RE: Online vs real time - 9/18/2012 6:08:06 AM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		I think it would make you realise that real life is head and shoulders and tall buildings over on-line "domination".

kind of like a penis in the vagina or anus is so far above sexting......

(in reply to hairlover123)
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RE: Online vs real time - 9/18/2012 6:17:35 AM   
hairlover123


Posts: 71
Joined: 4/1/2012
Status: offline 		Haha..good analogy i like it!

(in reply to kiwisub12)
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RE: Online vs real time - 9/18/2012 6:37:29 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hairlover123

I was just wondering do you think that online domination is a step backwards for a semi newbie in the lifestyle?

What i mean by that is if you get experience strictly online, do you think that it could hurt you or better you when it comes to a real life situation?

sorry if this have been posted before..


Ion on the big differences between on line and off line is the difference in the uses of our senses. On line can very much be a mental experience and is something that you can get in the off line world too. But online is not a great environment for the senses to be ignited and enjoyed. Our senses is a big part of how we interpret our environment. When they are muted or are not utilized we are missing out on much. To me.. To much is missed... I love the senses!

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An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to hairlover123)
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RE: Online vs real time - 9/18/2012 7:25:42 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Online stuff is fun with people I already have met and experienced. Then we can each put ourselves into the memory of what happened, and relive part of it. Otherwise, it's fancy masturbation. Now, there's nothing wrong with that. I have had some fun messing with total strangers online/phone. To compare them... well, it's the difference between a flight simulator and flying a plane, I guess.

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[page 23 girl]



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RE: Online vs real time - 9/18/2012 7:37:34 AM   
hairlover123


Posts: 71
Joined: 4/1/2012
Status: offline 		I am loving these analogies haha..I know what you are saying Lady, i just do not want to get a false sense of BDSM through online. I guess it just realistically depends on the person you have the encounter with..

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
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RE: Online vs real time - 9/18/2012 7:42:28 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		There are a lot of things missing from cyber D/s, beyond the physical, I think it lacks the energy flow that happens in real life. However, if it's just play time, kinky sex it can be an outlet.

What I would really recommend is getting out into the community, particularly the TNG groups.

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The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to hairlover123)
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RE: Online vs real time - 9/18/2012 7:44:00 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hairlover123

I am loving these analogies haha..I know what you are saying Lady, i just do not want to get a false sense of BDSM through online. I guess it just realistically depends on the person you have the encounter with..


You will absolutely get a false sense of BDSM online. I speak as a person who was a perv before there was a public internet.

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[page 23 girl]



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RE: Online vs real time - 9/18/2012 8:52:09 AM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline 		I like both. But like real time far better!

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RE: Online vs real time - 9/18/2012 8:56:01 AM   
Hillwilliam


Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline 		The same guy who started a rant about fakes a few short days ago is now asking serious questions, listening and learning.

OP, Good job. You'll do well here and more importantly, I have a feeling you'll do well in RL.

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(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
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RE: Online vs real time - 9/18/2012 9:10:13 AM   
hairlover123


Posts: 71
Joined: 4/1/2012
Status: offline 		Lol..William, you learn from your mistakes.. And I did

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RE: Online vs real time - 9/18/2012 9:25:04 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hairlover123

Lol..William, you learn from your mistakes.. And I did



We will SO hold you to that.

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RE: Online vs real time - 9/18/2012 9:46:30 AM   
hairlover123


Posts: 71
Joined: 4/1/2012
Status: offline 		I welcome that challenge ! haha :)

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
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RE: Online vs real time - 9/18/2012 10:20:40 AM   
Whenready


Posts: 319
Joined: 3/5/2009
Status: offline 		I was just wondering do you think that online domination is a step backwards for a semi newbie in the lifestyle?

I wouldn't say backwards. I would say different, and a lot depends on the situation and the relationship. Let me say up front that face to face is without doubt the most satisfactory involving all senses and immediately so. That said, for me, one of the things which pleases me is to get inside my sub's head. That can be done remotely as well as face to face. Sure she can lie/fake/whatever, but she could to that eyeball to eyeball too (harry met sally, restaurant scene as an amusing example, and yes I know its fictional, but how many ladies out there would say they COULDN'T (as distinct from wouldn't) do the same? And yes I accept that online deception is easier. Online does need more care - unless you have a really good webcam at each end, looking into her eyes is harder, but, I have also found that that CAN lead to more careful communication, which can have its own intensities.

What i mean by that is if you get experience strictly online, do you think that it could hurt you or better you when it comes to a real life situation?

As above, it's easier to be fooled - all other things being equal. After that, it comes down to the relationship again. Because I know that typing something on screen is more eaisly misinterpreted, I try to take care about which words I use and how. Face to face, that ain't a bad principle either. Last but not least, some things CAN be replicated online. Others can't. Good luck!

(in reply to hairlover123)
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RE: Online vs real time - 9/18/2012 10:24:06 AM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub12

I think it would make you realise that real life is head and shoulders and tall buildings over on-line "domination".

kind of like a penis in the vagina or anus is so far above sexting......


This!

However, I don't think that on-line will "hurt you" when it comes to real life. It's just that you have to understand that they're totally different things.

To add to the analogies that were shared, the difference between on-line and real life is like the difference between reading about fucking a beautiful model in an elevator in Penthouse Letters versus actually fucking Gisele Bundchen in an elevator.

See the difference?

(in reply to kiwisub12)
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RE: Online vs real time - 9/18/2012 10:32:15 AM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline 		from the POV as a sub who has (at one time) been looking - if a guy told me he had been dominant in a real-life relationship or play, I would accept that at face value and credit him as being experienced.

If he told me his experience was totally (or mostly) online, I'd view him as being inexperienced. Real life is just so much more intense, time-consuming, complicated and rewarding. I've always seen cyber (even when I briefly did it) as play, just something to do for a short while until it got boring. Now that I'm living it for real, it's just so, so different.

Just my two penn'orth

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There's nowt so queer as folk


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RE: Online vs real time - 9/18/2012 11:19:49 AM   
Alecta


Posts: 1355
Joined: 1/19/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hairlover123

I was just wondering do you think that online domination is a step backwards for a semi newbie in the lifestyle?

What i mean by that is if you get experience strictly online, do you think that it could hurt you or better you when it comes to a real life situation?




Depends on what you're doing and what you're into, and most importantly, who with!

There are pros and cons and pitfalls. As long as you keep them in mind and deal with the situations sensibly, it's really just a matter of personal choice.

Pitfall 1: Most scammers will only do online, so the chances of being scammed rises (and also why in a general situation we repeatedly tell people to meet each other first before getting invested)

Pitfall 2: Most people seriously into the lifestyle prefer real-time and will automatically pass you by if you are not willing to do "real time".

Pitfall 3: Most people who do "online only" have something to hide about their "real time".

Pitfall 4: Women who want to build a relationship will not tolerate a relationship that will never leave the internet, especially not Dominant women.

I guess what this means is "keep your options open" :)

(in reply to hairlover123)
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RE: Online vs real time - 9/18/2012 11:24:43 AM   
kitkat105


Posts: 1690
Joined: 11/29/2011
From: Eating dutch crunch in the Silicon Valley
Status: offline 		Real life is definitely better. Not to mention more fun - you are there, with the person, experiencing all the emotions together. Online is great for fantasy but till you actually experience it, you honestly are missing out.

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Odeen's spoonful of sugar that helps the medicine go down

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(in reply to Alecta)
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RE: Online vs real time - 9/18/2012 6:20:17 PM   
RemoteUser


Posts: 2854
Joined: 5/10/2011
Status: offline 		Online is fine but if you ever plan to go offline, you have to make sure you live up to the hype.

My girl did.

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There is nothing worse than being right. Instead of being right, then, try to be open. It is more difficult, and more rewarding.


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RE: Online vs real time - 9/18/2012 7:14:12 PM   
hairlover123


Posts: 71
Joined: 4/1/2012
Status: offline 		I guess i just would like to try online to get a little experience before entering the R/T aspect of the lifestyle, which i plan on doing. I just do not want to get a false sense of anything because of it. I agree with what you said as far as finding some one who actually is willing to do an online thing with out getting a fake, or some one who is into financial domination or anything like that. I have been trying to connect mentally with some one the people have been talking to first, before just jumping right into things. I learned that it makes for a better time any ways, actually knowing who you are talking to and realizing there is a personality behind these pictures not just a Domme.

(in reply to RemoteUser)
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