RE: Profile Analyis -- Needing Violence

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Profile Analyis -- Needing Violence

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Profile Analyis -- Needing Violence

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Profile Analyis -- Needing Violence - 9/18/2012 5:23:23 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

It just means she knows what she wants and she will write off anyone who isn't what she wants. It's just another tool one can use in profiles to weed out the undesireables.

We see profiles like this all the time, not the level of masochism, but just weeding others out who are not into their form of bdsm. I'm ok with that actually.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to kalikshama)

Post #: 21

RE: Profile Analyis -- Needing Violence - 9/18/2012 5:42:27 PM

RumpusParable

Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline

I've got no problem with it.

_____________________________

Relationships come and go, but plastination is forever.

I generally use fast-reply. If directing my post at someone specific I will indicate so.

Minimal summary: Artist, Disabled Veteran, Vegan, Pornographer, and Agender dominant female.

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 22

RE: Profile Analyis -- Needing Violence - 9/18/2012 6:02:03 PM

fucktoyprincess

Posts: 2337
Status: offline

I will just add one more thing. Most of the extreme and/or edge players I know, when they have been searching for partners, do not put up profiles that read this way. Maybe I just know an odd group, but the profiles tend to be straightforward about their play interests without all of the drama that seems to be in the profile (as described by the OP). For example, the line about how they don't think they deserve to be hurt doesn't ring particularly true to my ears. I am a masochist. I like pain. It is not about "deserving" or "not deserving" to be hurt. Interests can be extreme, but this description of this profile still sounds to me like either completely fake (as someone else suggested), or someone crying out for help.

< Message edited by fucktoyprincess -- 9/18/2012 6:04:15 PM >

_____________________________

~ ftp

(in reply to cloudboy)

Post #: 23

RE: Profile Analyis -- Needing Violence - 9/18/2012 6:08:16 PM

RemoteUser

Posts: 2854
Joined: 5/10/2011
Status: offline

I've seen the profile. I'm not going to bother to confirm or deny its validity.

It's possible that the mentality grew from the fetish - needing to be hurt and creating a reason for that need. She might think she deserves to be hurt because her body tells her so.

_____________________________

There is nothing worse than being right. Instead of being right, then, try to be open. It is more difficult, and more rewarding.

(in reply to fucktoyprincess)

Post #: 24

RE: Profile Analyis -- Needing Violence - 9/18/2012 6:24:16 PM

fucktoyprincess

Posts: 2337
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RemoteUser

I've seen the profile. I'm not going to bother to confirm or deny its validity.

It's possible that the mentality grew from the fetish - needing to be hurt and creating a reason for that need. She might think she deserves to be hurt because her body tells her so.

Actually what she says, according to the OP, as I have not seen the profile, and am only responding to what the OP states - the person states, "I don't think I deserve to be hurt". Again, I'm just having a tough time with reconciling this type of statement to the way that almost all of the masochists who I know feel. Maybe this way of phrasing makes sense to some of you. It just doesn't resonate for me. Hence the attitude I have about this perspective.

And again, just like profiles of women asking to be forcibly and violently raped - those of us who enjoy rape play usually don't put it in our profile in graphic detail. This reads to me just like the thread about the guy who was asking us if all the women contacting him wanting to be raped were real. And most of us felt like the profiles were not likely real - even though, this is a fetish that I personally enjoy.

Again, obviously there are people on this thread who perhaps know this person, and understand what they seek within some context. Without context, the profile, as described by the OP, seems off to me. Again, my perspective only.

_____________________________

~ ftp

(in reply to RemoteUser)

Post #: 25

RE: Profile Analyis -- Needing Violence - 9/18/2012 8:24:57 PM

MistressDarkArt

Posts: 5178
Status: offline

Has anyone stopped to consider the profile might be fake and posted as 'bait' to lure potential abusers? Just enough psychobabble in there to make it SEEM genuine.

(in reply to fucktoyprincess)

Post #: 26

RE: Profile Analyis -- Needing Violence - 9/18/2012 8:28:12 PM

wittynamehere

Posts: 759
Joined: 2/5/2010
Status: offline

Yes, seen many female sub or slave profiles just like that one. It's certainly not uncommon around here.
I have to chime in that when there is consent (informed, non-coerced, and all the other necessary qualifiers), just about anything is possible.

_____________________________

I almost never return to a thread, so if you saw my post and want me to hear your reply, please message it to me.

(in reply to cloudboy)

Post #: 27

RE: Profile Analyis -- Needing Violence - 9/18/2012 8:41:39 PM

Kana

Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline

Ooooh I think it's most likely fake, but I've played with some real edgy chicks in my day, gals who, for instance, wouldn't play in public because people got squicked, and that was only during foreplay.
Go way out there with edgeplay and, IMHE, and most people flip...but yeah, chicks like that can be wild fun.

Edited to add that P.S.-I bet I could spot it if it's a fake within three emails

< Message edited by Kana -- 9/18/2012 8:46:02 PM >

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to wittynamehere)

Post #: 28

RE: Profile Analyis -- Needing Violence - 9/18/2012 9:04:41 PM

cloudboy

Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline

Thanks for all the replies. Her profile was way beyond my field of experience and imagination. As for the veracity of the profile, it struck me as genuine and backed up by some real life experience. It didn't read like a player or scam artist, and she knew she was different and extreme and conveyed her thoughts in an understated manner.

I've never wanted to tread close to injuries or physical damage, so I was taken aback.

(in reply to Kana)

Post #: 29

RE: Profile Analyis -- Needing Violence - 9/18/2012 9:17:51 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

Many, many years ago there was a young femsub on another bondage site that was an extreme masochist. She got off on having her nails pulled out of her fingers and toes. I kid you not. Her Dom would also "rent" her out to extreme sadists.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to cloudboy)

Post #: 30

RE: Profile Analyis -- Needing Violence - 9/18/2012 9:20:35 PM

Kana

Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

Many, many years ago there was a young femsub on another bondage site that was an extreme masochist. She got off on having her nails pulled out of her fingers and toes. I kid you not. Her Dom would also "rent" her out to extreme sadists.

WhoWhatWhereWhenHowNowNowNow?!!!?!!!?
:-)

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 31

RE: Profile Analyis -- Needing Violence - 9/18/2012 9:30:33 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

hopefully very very far away from you Master.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to Kana)

Post #: 32

RE: Profile Analyis -- Needing Violence - 9/18/2012 9:55:54 PM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

Anyway, I guess this was the first profile I had seen where putting one's well-being and health "at risk" was the goal. Have you ever known anyone like this? How does such a person keep in a relationship? Does an impulse or drive like this just lead to a really, really bad place in the end?

I don't know if your just naive or young. But I am here to explain to you that ppl do self destructive stuff all the time. Starting with morbidly obese ppl all the way down to crack users and everything in between. They have to realize that eventually it will literally kill them but yet they still do it.

So I don't understand why you are surprised at her profile. To answer your question typically in ends badly.

BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to cloudboy)

Post #: 33

RE: Profile Analyis -- Needing Violence - 9/18/2012 10:01:03 PM

Kana

Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

hopefully very very far away from you Master.

But think how much better a certain someone's life would be?

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 34

RE: Profile Analyis -- Needing Violence - 9/18/2012 10:03:54 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

You have a point there!

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to Kana)

Post #: 35

RE: Profile Analyis -- Needing Violence - 9/19/2012 3:20:13 AM

MariaB

Posts: 2969
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline

'People who love ultra violence' and 'Extreme female violence' are two groups that come to mind on FL. Strangely most of the members seem to be English and Irish!

A few years ago I was involved in talking to an audience of fetishists about acceptance and tolerance on the scene. I remember this tiny young woman standing up and asking me why, in her words, 'she had to put up with all this negative shit from other kinksters because she enjoyed extreme violence?'
Now I'm an extreme player myself and I know many a masochist wouldn't come near me with a ten foot bargepole. I know some people shake their head at the way I play and so I explained to this young woman that, if we want to play beyond what most people find comfortable, we must accept that some 'scene' people will not be able to accept us.
At this point she became angry. I'm not sure why and she pulled up her top to reveal some old bruising along her ribs. 'see this' she said, turning to the audience, 'he kicked me so hard he broke 3 ribs'. She continued, ' I have had my jaw broken and my bottom teeth put through my lower lip and you know what? it was great. At this point all eyes were on this girl and virtually every mouth in the house was hanging in a southerly direction. People started to put their points across as to why they wouldn't want to be associated with her or why they found her disturbing and as they did she became more and more wild and angry, so much so that we had to have her removed from the room.

I often wonder about her and her sanity, not because of what she was doing but why she was doing it. Why when she was allowing herself to be so badly damaged was she needing us all to accept and embrace those actions? We only have individual lines we draw in the sand between a healthy mind and insanity. I have to accept that some will call me 'too much' or even 'insane', whilst others will call me a 'fantastic sadist'. Its water off a ducks back, it really doesn't matter and so all I can say to people who get alarmed by such profiles is, move on. That person isn't for you!

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 36

RE: Profile Analyis -- Needing Violence - 9/19/2012 4:29:52 AM

fucktoyprincess

Posts: 2337
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

Thanks for all the replies. Her profile was way beyond my field of experience and imagination. As for the veracity of the profile, it struck me as genuine and backed up by some real life experience. It didn't read like a player or scam artist, and she knew she was different and extreme and conveyed her thoughts in an understated manner.

I've never wanted to tread close to injuries or physical damage, so I was taken aback.

Again, context matters.

_____________________________

~ ftp

(in reply to cloudboy)

Post #: 37

RE: Profile Analyis -- Needing Violence - 9/19/2012 4:52:12 AM

fucktoyprincess

Posts: 2337
Status: offline

I have only been using the Internet for I think around 7 years to search for BDSM partners. I am still wary because you never really know who is behind a profile until you start communication and try to find out more. One concern that I have always had is that as a masochist, I do worry BDSM sites draw men who are not simply into BDSM for fun, but who really are misogynistic, violent and abusive (and often have no interest in or knowledge about BDSM, or even relationships - they just enjoy beating women up). I have always been careful about what I put in my profile as a result (in other words, there are lots of thing that I might have done or be interested in doing, but you're not going to see it in my profile - you have to get to know me first - and more importantly, I have to get to know the other person first before sharing some of those desires). I have been in a relationship with an abusive person before. I've become adept at spotting them. But I'm not interested in writing a profile so explicit that it draws a disproportionate number of those types out. Quite frankly there's enough ridiculousness to have to sift through already.

Of course, if the intent of a profile like the OP mentions is in fact to draw out the misogynistic, violent and abusive types because that's what they want - I guess, in a sense, it is working to match people up. But the lines can be blurry. Not every edge/extreme player is what we would call safe. How many of us want to do needle play with people who don't care about sterilizing equipment? Again, how much risk one is willing to assume is, of course, personal, but I do feel there are both individuals and types of play that can be dangerous. Even needle play assumes voluntary assumption of certain types of risks (scarring, for example), but not others, (HIV from an unclean needle). I don't think anyone here would say that someone who wishes to contract HIV is a safe (or even sane) player to be with. So I categorically reject the notion that all voluntary assumption of risk is automatically okay and that the Top/Dominant owes no further duty of care beyond that. It all depends. And again, this is where truly knowing the person is critical to both parties being able to say they are playing in a way that truly makes sense.

_____________________________

~ ftp

(in reply to cloudboy)

Post #: 38

RE: Profile Analyis -- Needing Violence - 9/19/2012 8:18:36 AM

evesgrden

Posts: 597
Joined: 6/9/2012
Status: offline

Danger to self or others.....

"Could you squeeze my neck until i am unconscious at your feet - and have no intention of stopping just because of that?"

Loss of consciousness due to lack of oxygen, and she wants you to continue depriving her of oxygen. Yeah, I'm gonna be judgmental here. That's nuts.

_____________________________

What you permit, you promote.

(in reply to kalikshama)

Post #: 39

RE: Profile Analyis -- Needing Violence - 9/19/2012 9:00:06 AM

graceadieu

Posts: 1518
Joined: 3/20/2008
From: Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy
This goes as long as the damage doesn't interfere with her holding her job. She indicated sustaining serious injuries in the past: perforated eardrum, broken ribs, black eyes, and a dislocated shoulder.

I'd think that being in the hospital all the time and sporting obvious visible injuries like bandaged wrists and black eyes would kind of interfere with her job, unless she works from home and has tons of sick leave. I don't know what kind of employer would be okay with that.

(in reply to cloudboy)

Post #: 40

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Profile Analyis -- Needing Violence

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.125