RE: Just another curious question..

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LadyHibiscus -> RE: Just another curious question.. (9/21/2012 5:05:26 PM)
Only Kevin is Kevin. A thing I've noticed with certain of the young folks, here and on fetlife, is that they really think a lot of themselves, and how much effect they have on others. I am not feeling it. Very very few people have the ability to offend me, ever. They might say offensive things, but those things don't affect me. Really fantastical stuff makes me laugh, mostly it rates a 'meh'. People come onto forums, ask questions when they really want validation, get ranty and butthurt when we call them on it, then think they've caused offense. We are not offended. Sometimes we're amused, or appalled, or grateful that we're not your moms, but we're not offended.

MistressDemeter9 -> RE: Just another curious question.. (9/21/2012 5:20:04 PM)
I've had a few young 'uns contact Me, and I don't judge their maturity level by their age (Tell me if none of you have met an immature 40/50/60+ year old!) However, like anyone on this site, their experience of BDSM can vary quite a bit. I take it as an opportunity to give some guidance. I would rather they came to me, as an older lady, rather than some of the fake '19-year-olds' on here who are after their money and nothing else. At least I know that I won't take advantage and can help them to avoid some of the worst pitfalls of this lifestyle. As I have no sexual interest in My subs, I know that I am not offering a 'MILF' experience either. There's nothing wrong with chatting to people of any age. I find that it's not about what you have in common most of the time, but simply an interest in everything that is discussed that helps to develop a friendship with people of any age on this site. I think I'm rambling... Must be time to sleep...

hairlover123 -> RE: Just another curious question.. (9/21/2012 5:53:02 PM)
If I based my experiences on "certain in counters" then it would be unfair to the few real people that are on this site

Alecta -> RE: Just another curious question.. (9/21/2012 6:47:46 PM)
CougarRick, I'm starting to think, from your conversations on this thread, that perhaps what you need to do is stop looking for "older women" but "women who interest you". Just throw the age thing out the window completely. You sound a little older than your age, perhaps more in line with early to mid 20s. That's a nice thing. You sound, once conversation has been engaged, like you're into a certain type of women and you really know exactly what it is about them that you like, which is also cool. But, and I think this was mentioned by Lady Hib as well, it gets put-offish to be characterised by things that sort of merely exist, the feeling that you're only interested in a label or number that we coincidentally have. Even if you don't mean it that way and it's just an incidence of miscommunication, we're neurotic that way ;) So throw the numbers out the window. Approach it as "the sort of women who make me melt in a puddle is....." and since what you like about older women is their demeanour and not the numbers in their age, it shouldn't matter what age they are anyway.

hauser -> RE: Just another curious question.. (9/22/2012 6:26:07 AM)
I want a "man", not a "boy". Someone that is mature and experienced. I want to spend my time either being properly worshipped or having hot sex. I don't want to be wasting my time "training" someone. As a general rule, this comes with age and experience. I'm sure there are a few that can shatter this "rule", but, what are we talking about? 1 out of 1000? I don't want to waste my time with the 999 confused fumblers trying to find the one "man" in the group that knows what he is doing or what is expected. This may sound harsh, but, too bad.

hairlover123 -> RE: Just another curious question.. (9/22/2012 8:33:54 AM)
So it is not really about age then Hauser? It seems like you distinguish "men" and "boys" by experience? You can get a middle aged man that is new to the lifestyle that has less experience then a man in their 20's, as far as the lifestyle goes.

Tantriqu -> RE: Just another curious question.. (9/22/2012 8:55:43 AM)
I wouldn't say 'no' to a man in his 20's to 50's because of age; my hard limits are the same for all. I enjoy men in their 20's and 30's; and the ones I've dated were more open sexually, emotionally and intellectually: all the men I've dated in their 40's and early 50's were less mature and less comfortable in their sexuality, and didn't make it literally past first base [OK, second ;-)]. What does amuse me are guys in their late 60's who wheedle that their 'age is just a number'; I commend them for the equivalent which is dating 90+-yr-old Dommes, yet not one yet has dated an older, let alone a much older, woman, and are stunned at the comparison. They have grown up entitled in a male-centric world and haven't grown out of such conditioning. Or maybe they're just do-me bottoms: I'm not interested in their diagnosis, just not interested in them. I know that with the new generation of good men that 40 years from now, these lovely subbies won't act in the same manner as their grandfathers. Bless 'em all.

CougarRick -> RE: Just another curious question.. (9/22/2012 8:56:23 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: hauser I want a "man", not a "boy". Someone that is mature and experienced. I want to spend my time either being properly worshipped or having hot sex. I don't want to be wasting my time "training" someone. As a general rule, this comes with age and experience. I'm sure there are a few that can shatter this "rule", but, what are we talking about? 1 out of 1000? I don't want to waste my time with the 999 confused fumblers trying to find the one "man" in the group that knows what he is doing or what is expected. This may sound harsh, but, too bad. There was nothing harsh about that at all; you were just being honest.

CougarRick -> RE: Just another curious question.. (9/22/2012 9:18:21 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Alecta CougarRick, I'm starting to think, from your conversations on this thread, that perhaps what you need to do is stop looking for "older women" but "women who interest you". Just throw the age thing out the window completely. You sound a little older than your age, perhaps more in line with early to mid 20s. That's a nice thing. You sound, once conversation has been engaged, like you're into a certain type of women and you really know exactly what it is about them that you like, which is also cool. But, and I think this was mentioned by Lady Hib as well, it gets put-offish to be characterised by things that sort of merely exist, the feeling that you're only interested in a label or number that we coincidentally have. Even if you don't mean it that way and it's just an incidence of miscommunication, we're neurotic that way ;) So throw the numbers out the window. Approach it as "the sort of women who make me melt in a puddle is....." and since what you like about older women is their demeanour and not the numbers in their age, it shouldn't matter what age they are anyway. Yes I agree that is definitely a better way of approaching it. I guess there are certain attributes that I would look for in a woman, and as hauser has pointed out, certain attributes are usually a function of age, but you are right; focussing on the attributes will likely give me a better chance of meeting the right person.

searching4mysir -> RE: Just another curious question.. (9/22/2012 10:59:03 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: hairlover123 When woman state no men under a certain age..I am just curious is it because of the actual age or the suspected maturity level of the individuals? I am sure it depends on the person in certain circumstances but the few people i asked say that it is about the maturity level. I always respond with the same comment basically about age does not necessarily reflect on the maturity level of an individual. but then i thought maybe they were talking about the maturity level in the lifestyle? I don't know for sure..just curious your thoughts about it? In my case it was because I couldn't see myself fucking someone who could potentially be my kid (on the younger side) or almost old enough to be my parent (on the older side). My age range, when I was searching, was within 10 years =/- of my current age (and I make sure to keep my profile current on that one). I figured a 20-yr age range should have been sufficient, and in my case I was right. Master is 9 years older. Old enough to be "Daddy" without being old enough to actually be my father.

hairlover123 -> RE: Just another curious question.. (9/22/2012 11:13:40 AM)
That makes sense..i guess it depends if you feel off set by the old enough to be you kid scenario.

hairlover123 -> RE: Just another curious question.. (9/22/2012 11:15:31 AM)
Which makes sense! haha ...i guess it depends on how you look at it..

OsideGirl -> RE: Just another curious question.. (9/22/2012 11:29:51 AM)
IMO, I might have a fling with a guy in his 20s, but I'm not going to have a relationship with a guy in his 20s. We're just in two different places in life. I'll also add that any guy that approaches me with the mouthbreathing, "I think older women are SO sexy" line doesn't have a chance. If that's the only reason you're approaching me, I'm not interested.

VaguelyCurious -> RE: Just another curious question.. (9/22/2012 12:11:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JanahX Why do I feel like we have another "Kevin" on our hands? For srs I think you've forgotten how bad Kevin was. This one can spell. [8D][8D]

hauser -> RE: Just another curious question.. (9/22/2012 12:37:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: hairlover123 So it is not really about age then Hauser? It seems like you distinguish "men" and "boys" by experience? You can get a middle aged man that is new to the lifestyle that has less experience then a man in their 20's, as far as the lifestyle goes. You didn't really understand what I wrote. And you most certainly proved my point. I checked your profile and you are 20. And, being 20, you didn't really read and understand what I wrote. This is exactly what I mean about wasting my time with immaturity. I most certainly linked maturity and experience with age. But, being only 20, maybe reading comprehension will develop in you as you get older.

hairlover123 -> RE: Just another curious question.. (9/22/2012 1:17:42 PM)
Lol..you can have 10 different people read what you wrote and they can all have different views of what you are trying to say. I took it one way, and for you to say that my misinterpretation of your comment that you wrote ONLINE some how got scrambled...is a little immature.

VaguelyCurious -> RE: Just another curious question.. (9/22/2012 1:28:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: hairlover123 Lol..you can have 10 different people read what you wrote and they can all have different views of what you are trying to say. That's...technically true but a pretty poor excuse for managing to completely miss somebody's point. Hauser was pretty clear and pretty blunt - there's not a lot of room for 'different views' of that particular post. There's just - well. Getting the point and missing the point, I suppose. None of it was really that open to interpretation. quote: I took it one way, and for you to say that my misinterpretation of your comment that you wrote ONLINE some how got scrambled...is a little immature. Nah. Being frustrated when somebody asks you a question and then can't be bothered to comprehend the answer is a human trait. If the fact that all this is ONLINE [sic] is making enough of an impact on your ability to understand people that it's worth mentioning then this may not be the medium for you.

hairlover123 -> RE: Just another curious question.. (9/22/2012 1:57:28 PM)
Right..

MsMillgrove -> RE: Just another curious question.. (9/22/2012 3:16:06 PM)
I have never cared how old anyone is. The reason why I didn't have sex with my children was the mores of society which we all accept: you don't have sex with any kids starting your own kids. Many dommes draw the line at intimacy or relationships with adults who are close to age of their own adult children; this never made much sense to me, but it is how most femdoms feel about age. All my favorite subs have been about the age of my oldest. Altho I have had a few who were younger than my youngest. I don't like older men. Unless they are really older--and considering my own age, most of those 20+yr older guys are now six feet under. Common experiences don't matter to me, nor does shared history. Lot of things I saw or did in my time, most of my contemporaries had no idea what I was doing, didn't understand if they did know and even tho we lived thru the same times: I lived all over the world, they stayed home. Mentally as well as geographically--they didn't adventure. So the fact that maybe we listened to the same music doesn't matter to me--I listen to Today's music and they don't.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Just another curious question.. (9/22/2012 3:21:34 PM)
I listen to a lot of modern things, too. We like what we like, and we have differing needs and expectations. Annoying, is when the not-desired objects get whiny and defensive. Lots of men don't want middle aged voluptuous broads with aggressive personalities.. That's fine, I don't feel compelled to change their minds.

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