Padriag
Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005 Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: litleone8620 Why is it rarer for a Dominant to be trained? Is it because they have that dominant trait and think they don't need it? I find myself more attracted to Doms who admit they need training in something special, whether it's bondage or single tails. If you had followed the link I posted you would have found this post by me which answers your question. quote:
ORIGINAL: Padriag quote:
ORIGINAL: marieToo Padriag: You mentioned alot about the training of the slaves/subs. But who trains the doms/masters? If anyone needs training I think it would be the Doms even moreso. Would they go to mentors as young doms ? And if you're new, how would they pick a teacher or trainer that knows what theyre doing? Unfortunately, many don't or can't. There are a number of reasons for this, I'll try to explain. First, many don't or can't simply because there is a great deal less community support for this than there is the training of submissives. Take into consideration the amount of opposition you see towards training submissives and then multiply that to get an idea how resistant to the idea of training dominants many are. That's not to say there is no support for it. There isn't much in the heterosexual community, but among the Leathermen its was something of a tradition. How much of a tradition and when it became so is debateable, but at some point the practice seems to have become fairly wide spread. (And no I'm not an expert on the history of the Leathermen community). But this at least provides one example. There are some groups, some of which are pansexual or heterosexual, which also provide training to new dominants. Most of the ones I have encountered were private groups that did not accept new dominants as members very often, which makes them of limited help to the wider community. There are some individuals who will provide mentoring but this too is rare, rarer in my opinion than those willing to genuinely mentor a submissive. I personally think this is in part due to dominant egos. Many new dominants feel somewhat insecure and quickly develop a bravado as a cover... that same bravado prevents them from openly seeking out training, instruction or other forms of information that would help then. This is because they often feel, and with justification, that doing so openly would make them seem weak. The fact that that is justified because, in fact, there are many submissives that would view such a dominant as being weak, or at least incompetent, doesn't help any. So that leaves many individual dominants on their own to privately seek whatever education or information they can. Most learn through a long process of trial and error. Many are handicapped further by simply not knowing what information to look for. For example, in my own case I came to this lifestyle with a background in psychology (gee, like you couldn't guess ) and drew on that knowledge to guide me in learning to be a better dominant. I did a LOT of reading and research using resources both within and outside the lifestyle. I was fortunate in that regard, many are not. There's one last thing I've seen that contributes to the problem. Although there is considerably less literature on dominance than there is submission, what does exist has a very limited audience. Many dominants are so individualistic that even if their ego isn't getting in the way, they still reject the methodology of another over personal differences of style. Dominants are prone to be, at times, blindly individualistic to the point of handicapping themselves. The result is that sometimes dominants reject information that could otherwise be helpful for superficial reasons, throwing the baby out with the bath water as it were. Most also can't agree on anything that might be applied to them as a group. For example, codes of conduct or ethics. Even Goreans, who are more prone to "close ranks" often can't agree on exactly what a Gorean code of conduct should be, other than to espouse honor, and respect and integrity as if these words alone were an explanation. Like most dominants, when you start trying to define that honor or integrity, they are just as prone to fall into arguments over the details. BTW, this isn't to pick Goreans, just using them as a well known example.
_____________________________
Padriag A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer
|