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no luck for kitty - 9/25/2012 4:03:03 PM

blskitty

Posts: 1
Joined: 9/25/2012
Status: offline

Decided to try out this site today, im fairly new to all this n I don't seem to b having much luck. I have a good pic but im just getting frustrated, any body have suggestions for me? Its hard to find someone who's into this stuff, but everyone on here is either far too extreme or way to old for me. The only person I talked to n I expressed myself.to says I don't have the qualities of a sub because I want to b pleased as well in the end? I came here because I have been sexually frustrated for a long time due to my bdsm desires n my frmr lovers inability to satisfy me. Am I just barking up the wrong tree? I know wat I want. Wanting to get off and b a sub is impossible?! Makes no sense to me

Post #: 1

RE: no luck for kitty - 9/25/2012 4:11:03 PM

Alecta

Posts: 1355
Joined: 1/19/2010
Status: offline

Generally the wrong kind of site for casual hookups. Adultfriendfinder has the option of expressing your exact Dom needs, and Alt. com is a specifically bdsm hookup site.

There's nothing wrong in having what you want as a sub too. I don't recall who said it, but being a sub doesn't mean you don't get to decide anything, it means you leave the little things to your Master and focus on the choices that matter: your Master.

(in reply to blskitty)

Post #: 2

RE: no luck for kitty - 9/25/2012 4:19:54 PM

kiwisub12

Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline

Perhaps you need to join a few munches, and meet people. Online is great, but real bodies are better!

I would think you could find a group that caters to the younger crowd, especially in California, the land of the young and beautiful lol.

and having profiles on the sites listed above certainly wouldn't hurt. Just remember that you need to like the person you hook up with.
There are infinite ways for people to have a relationship, and you can have what you want, just keep looking. And by the way - any twit who tells you that you can't have what you want is an idiot. Especially before you submit to him/her. Before starting a relationship, you can set down any demands you want!

< Message edited by kiwisub12 -- 9/25/2012 4:20:45 PM >

(in reply to Alecta)

Post #: 3

RE: no luck for kitty - 9/25/2012 4:36:14 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

One whole day, huh?

_____________________________

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The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to kiwisub12)

Post #: 4

RE: no luck for kitty - 9/25/2012 5:22:34 PM

Titaniya

Posts: 85
Joined: 9/9/2012
Status: offline

1. It's your first day. If you're looking for something that requires any substance, expect it to take awhile.
2. You're an attractive submissive female. I'm convinced this group gets more bullshit shown at them than anyone else on here. You're likely going to get bombarded with people out of your age range, area, and other criteria demanding submission with poor grammar and/or a copy/paste message telling you what a "twue submissive" does. Develop a discerning eye and don't hesitate to hit that block button. Your life will be better for it.
3. I'm not sure how other dominants feel about it, but if I had a submissive who wasn't deriving pleasure from their position, I'd take that as a sign something was wrong. Pleasure can be tied into the denial of pleasure (in the case of, say, chastity), but IMO relationships should be two way with or without a power dynamic. The power dynamic just changes the way that's achieved.

People on this site HAVE had some good luck. Search for people who meet your criteria in your area and message the ones whose profiles look interesting. It'll be easier to find casual encounters than good relationships, but if you're patient, you can find either.

I strongly recommend logging onto Fetlife, finding local groups (especially those geared at the younger crowd), and going to some munches and sloshes. The community's (often) a great place, subby ladies are almost always in high demand, and I think it's a lot easier to meet people you mesh with in those settings than online.

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 5

RE: no luck for kitty - 9/25/2012 5:33:12 PM

ARIES83

Posts: 3648
Status: offline

Read the forum...
Search for topics that interest you and read!
But first go have an O or something...

-Aries

_____________________________

530 DAYS

(in reply to Titaniya)

Post #: 6

RE: no luck for kitty - 9/25/2012 5:43:34 PM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

quote:

The only person I talked to n I expressed myself.to says I don't have the qualities of a sub because I want to b pleased as well in the end?

You're going to hear all kinds of nonsense. Trust your gut and common sense. Don't settle.

Please do me a favor and lose the text speak. This is a discussion group, not a text. ur pst waz vry hrd 2 read.

_____________________________

Curious about the "Sluts Vote" avatars? See http://www.collarchat.com/m_4133036/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#4133036

(in reply to blskitty)

Post #: 7

RE: no luck for kitty - 9/25/2012 6:00:10 PM

RumpusParable

Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

One whole day, huh?

Yeaahhhhh, needs repeated.

_____________________________

Relationships come and go, but plastination is forever.

I generally use fast-reply. If directing my post at someone specific I will indicate so.

Minimal summary: Artist, Disabled Veteran, Vegan, Pornographer, and Agender dominant female.

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 8

RE: no luck for kitty - 9/25/2012 6:13:24 PM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline

Have patience.

Since you are new, lots of guys will try to define what submission is to them and then impose it on you.
You only need to define it for yourself and then find someone who believes as you do.

_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to blskitty)

Post #: 9

RE: no luck for kitty - 9/25/2012 6:55:39 PM

NiceButMeanGirl

Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline

I don't understand why people sign up thinking this is some magical place where instant hook-ups are the norm. A lot of the quality people want to get to know someone first before getting involved, even casually. You only signed up today. Give it some time for crying out loud!!

NBMG

_____________________________

I'm now SweetlySadistic1 on CollarSpace. NBMG is an old profile, please see my new one.

(in reply to angelikaJ)

Post #: 10

RE: no luck for kitty - 9/25/2012 7:00:41 PM

Alecta

Posts: 1355
Joined: 1/19/2010
Status: offline

It's because you DO get pretty much instant hookups on the other sites I named as long as you're not picky and only want a hookup.

(in reply to NiceButMeanGirl)

Post #: 11

RE: no luck for kitty - 9/25/2012 7:11:44 PM

frazzle

Posts: 1212
Joined: 6/20/2009
Status: offline

Alt etc work the same as collarme. You can find a quick hook up or a lasting relationship. It's down to what you're looking for.

I'd lay bets most started on alt. including you, or how would you know so much about it!!!

(in reply to Alecta)

Post #: 12

RE: no luck for kitty - 9/25/2012 7:41:16 PM

Arturas

Posts: 3245
Status: offline

quote:

I have been sexually frustrated for a long time due to my bdsm desires n my frmr lovers inability to satisfy me.

Greetings,

I am sure you have had messages. Perhaps you cannot recognize a Dom when you see one yet. It is difficult. Look for the presence of other submissives who know or have known him. Look at his journals, are they rantings or are they a real journal of his successes and failures. Find out if he is a member of a local organization and if he is too old for you then ask him to help you meet other local Doms more your age.

Well wishes,
Arturas

_____________________________

"We master Our world."

(in reply to blskitty)

Post #: 13

RE: no luck for kitty - 9/25/2012 7:55:25 PM

Alecta

Posts: 1355
Joined: 1/19/2010
Status: offline

Not knocking it, but most on alt are after the instant gratification rather than relationships.
I still find it useful for swinging

(in reply to frazzle)

Post #: 14

RE: no luck for kitty - 9/25/2012 8:07:26 PM

pyschosubmission

Posts: 1109
Joined: 7/6/2012
From: Glasgow, Scotland
Status: offline

Have to agree with the FetLife suggestion, its brilliant for finding out what's on near you. Made some wonderful friends through it!

_____________________________

Comedian, kinkster, all round malingerer

Lord Pish of Talkingshite
First Member-At-Large, ProSubs"R"Us

(in reply to blskitty)

Post #: 15

RE: no luck for kitty - 9/25/2012 8:25:22 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

So one whole day huh? Wow...you must be one helluva girl if you expected tons of them to crawl outta the woodwork for teeny little you.

Dude, I was on this site for 8 years before Master found me. Let me repeat that....8 YEARS.

And you expect to find someone in 1 day.

You would have better luck at OnlineBootyCall.com if you're just looking for a fuck buddy.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to pyschosubmission)

Post #: 16

RE: no luck for kitty - 9/25/2012 9:13:32 PM

kitkat105

Posts: 1690
Joined: 11/29/2011
From: Eating dutch crunch in the Silicon Valley
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

So one whole day huh? Wow...you must be one helluva girl if you expected tons of them to crawl outta the woodwork for teeny little you.

Dude, I was on this site for 8 years before Master found me. Let me repeat that....8 YEARS.

And you expect to find someone in 1 day.

You would have better luck at OnlineBootyCall.com if you're just looking for a fuck buddy.

As always, I agree with littlewonder.

_____________________________

"WARNING! This girl exceeds the MAXIMUM SAFE standards established by the FDA for BRATTINESS!"

Odeen's spoonful of sugar that helps the medicine go down

Charter member: Lance's Fag Hags

Secretary - ProSubs"R"Us

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 17

RE: no luck for kitty - 9/25/2012 9:21:06 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

You're in Long Beach and can't find kinksters for hook ups?

Pull the other one, man. It's got bells on it.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to blskitty)

Post #: 18

RE: no luck for kitty - 9/25/2012 9:23:20 PM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

I love you, LadyP. I agree 100%.

Even if SPortsmans isnt happening anymore, there are certainly TNG groups happening.

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 19

RE: no luck for kitty - 9/25/2012 9:28:30 PM

graceadieu

Posts: 1518
Joined: 3/20/2008
From: Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: blskitty

Decided to try out this site today, im fairly new to all this n I don't seem to b having much luck. I have a good pic but im just getting frustrated, any body have suggestions for me? Its hard to find someone who's into this stuff, but everyone on here is either far too extreme or way to old for me. The only person I talked to n I expressed myself.to says I don't have the qualities of a sub because I want to b pleased as well in the end? I came here because I have been sexually frustrated for a long time due to my bdsm desires n my frmr lovers inability to satisfy me. Am I just barking up the wrong tree? I know wat I want. Wanting to get off and b a sub is impossible?! Makes no sense to me

Would you expect to go on, I don't know, match.com and find somebody in a day? Of course not. Just be patient. There are people on here that are all (18+) ages and there's a huge diversity among people in terms of how much control they want or pain they like or fetishes they have. It can take a little while to find somebody that'll suit you even just for casual play.

And there are lots of assholes and trolls on kink sites who have all kinds of stupid opinions about "you're not a real sub/dom if you're like ______" or "won't do _____" or whatever. Ignore them and keep going after what you want.

Also..... I don't want to be mean, but you might want to consider using spell-check.

(in reply to blskitty)

Post #: 20

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