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RE: Eye Contact - 6/14/2006 6:14:39 PM   
cuddleheart50


Posts: 9718
Joined: 2/20/2006
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		I always look people directly in the eyes...

I have been told that I am staring and that made them nervous, but I just listen very intently while looking in the eyes.

_____________________________

Dance like no one is watching,
Sing like no one is listening.
Love like you've never been hurt
and live like it's heaven on Earth.


(in reply to littlechameleon)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Eye Contact - 6/14/2006 6:33:13 PM   
daddysprop247


Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sab

OK - a question for the sub's around here, and please be as spacific as you can, this is not about a command/order that you are given.

In everyday life, do you look at people in the eye and maintain eye contact with them or do you find yourself inadvertantly looking away, not in the shy sense, but one where you are in your nilla life outside of this lifestyle (for those who hate that word, transpose your own).




first, we don't all have a "nilla life"...i'm a submissive slave, with a Dominant Master, and that is who we are always, everywhere. as far as eye contact goes, i'm an extremely shy person when it comes to face to face contact, always have been, so i don't easily make eye contact with people, especially men. i tend to always look down to my feet, or at best the other person's feet. my Master says that is one of the qualities he found to be cute and endearing about me when we first met.

(in reply to Sab)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Eye Contact - 6/14/2006 7:34:58 PM   
sexysubnyc74


Posts: 7
Status: offline 		Oh I am completely dominant in my interactions w/ people I meet...not in a tough sense but I am just very outgoing and confident and a control freak in my own life. Probably why I love being able to give all that up to my dom.

(in reply to Sab)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Eye Contact - 6/14/2006 8:01:31 PM   
Bearlee


Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BreakMeShakeMe
I see the OP responded to this too....and I'm curious.... how is this suppose to be a submissive thing? I've seen this in other  areas too. And mostly when one is kneeling before their owners at parties.. etc... but on a regular day to day... with joe blow.. you still feel the need to not give eye contact?


LOL   Not always; I can stand my own ground...I have run my own businesses, supervised groups of people. I'm not a meek little thing...generally. 
 
<sigh> I wonder if it is coyness (gawd, how embarrassing).  I'm a terrible vamp; I can't imagine its flirting!  Still…I’m well aware when my submissive buttons are pushed and I just want to please.  It’s an odd thing…but not unpleasant.  LOL
 
All that…and I drop my eyes.  <shrugs>

(in reply to BreakMeShakeMe)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Eye Contact - 6/14/2006 8:43:38 PM   
Evanesce


Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

In everyday life, do you look at people in the eye and maintain eye contact with them or do you find yourself inadvertantly looking away, not in the shy sense, but one where you are in your nilla life outside of this lifestyle (for those who hate that word, transpose your own).


I look 'em dead in the eye.  I've found that if someone cannot meet my gaze, I tend to think them either weak or dishonest, so eye contact is important to me.  I want there to be no mistaking my integrity, and I want them to know I will not be intimidated.

_____________________________

Denise

Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

"There's never a hero in a battle of ego." - Big & Rich


(in reply to Sab)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Eye Contact - 6/15/2006 12:44:12 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline 		It depends on the situation I'm in. If I'm in a poker tournament, there is no way I'm looking people in the eyes. Most of the time, I'm wearing sunglasses so they can't read me from that. Tells are bad enough.. I don't need my eyes giving me away. I've been collared three times and none of those who have held my collar would allow me to cast my eyes down. They like/d looking into them. It can be a bit uncomfortable sometimes. Himself will take my face in his hands and just stare at me like he knows exactly what's going on in my brain. He'll shush me and just stare at my eyes. It's very odd. Sometimes when he does that, I'll cross my eyes which makes him laugh and breaks my tension level from being stared at.

In day to day interactions, I have zero problems looking people in the eye, but if I'm walking down the street, especially if I'm in a hurry, I'm usually thinking about something.. either where I'm going, what I need to get done, etc. and not really paying attention to those around me, so I doubt if I look others in the eye in that situation.

Celeste

< Message edited by BitaTruble -- 6/15/2006 12:45:16 AM >

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to Evanesce)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Eye Contact - 6/15/2006 12:56:00 AM   
Ladybelladonna


Posts: 4
Joined: 6/8/2005
Status: offline 		Well i never laughed so much as i did when who ever it was popped up with the reply...... hahahaha i can't even type it without cracking up........ When playing cards NEVER look the people in the eyes............ some thing like that...... too funny......

(in reply to littlechameleon)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Eye Contact - 6/15/2006 1:15:01 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sab

I wanted to know how other sub's felt on the subject - I specified nilla life because I was interested in whether the trait of submissiveness flowed through peoples lives or it was just about when they were with their Dom, Master etc.


Master spent a lot of time undoing some things which were taught to me prior to him.  One of the things he taught me was that I was not to submit, nor show signs of submissiveness, to any person other than him.  "Just because he has a penis, does not mean you are submissive to him."  Lordy I remember that sentence well.  The Doms in my life prior to him liked a girl to be submissive, all the time, to all dominant men.  That ended up being one of the big areas that messed me up.  It turned me into a very confused creature.  You know what they say about trying to please everyone, all the time.  It got me taken advantage of in a painful way, and it resulted in contributing to my loss of identity. 

So, because of my training, I submit only to my Master, period.  A dominant friend is simply another human I happen to know, and not anyone I will submit to, unless Master instructs me to (and if that were to happen, I am actually submitting to my Master by doing so).  That is why my eyes lower only to my  Master, and only until he wants to see them.

(in reply to Sab)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Eye Contact - 6/15/2006 1:26:31 AM   
hidemyeyes


Posts: 39
Joined: 11/29/2005
Status: offline 		when i was a child i was very outgoing, but at the age of 9 i developed some serious self esteem issues that i only got over at the beginning of this year, and one of the resulst of this was that i found it significantly difficult to make eye contact with anyone who i wasnt close with. i actually was forced to admit to people in conversations that i really didnt mean to be rude, but that i was unable to converse with them while maintaining eye contact and apologise (cos i would stare just to the left of thier face). i'm very irreverant and i tend to say things that can be double edged, so it used to get me in a bit of bother because without eye contqact people never knew how to take what i said. In janurary i got a job, and since then i've been growing more confident in leaps and bounds, and now i look everyone in the eye. Sometimes i have bad days and lose the ability all over again, but now i make the effort.

hidemyeyes

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Eye Contact - 6/15/2006 4:22:21 AM   
sabswife


Posts: 188
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BreakMeShakeMe

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bearlee
Still, if I am around a Dominant man (into the ‘lifestyle’ or not), I find all my submissive buttons going off and I generally drop my eyes when speaking with him. 


I see the OP responded to this too....and I'm curious.... how is this suppose to be a submissive thing? I've seen this in other  areas too. And mostly when one is kneeling before their owners at parties.. etc... but on a regular day to day... with joe blow.. you still feel the need to not give eye contact?



its not that i dont feel the need, in fact i do, and i recognize all the reasons for why i should do it.  it just is something i have great difficulty with, and have to MAKE myself do it, whereas my Dom does it naturally without a problem.

as for it being a "submissive thing" -- all you have to do is look at animals.  for example other than rolling on to its back, and other obvious outward physical reactions, how do you know one is submissive?  it won't look you in the eye. 



_____________________________

"If you look inside your heart, You don't have to be afraid--Of what you are. There's an answer, If you reach into your soul--And the sorrow that you know Will melt away."


(in reply to BreakMeShakeMe)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Eye Contact - 6/15/2006 5:38:46 AM   
wandersalone


Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline 		I always like to look people in their eyes when I am talking with them, its just a matter of trying to figure out the balance .... look for too long and it becomes staring and can make the other person uncomfortable, glance away too often and it could be read as boredom/uninterest etc. Interestingly, I do sometimes find it harder to maintain the gaze of someone I am 'interested' in... but that may be me just being coy!

(in reply to sabswife)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Eye Contact - 6/15/2006 7:11:51 AM   
Wildfleurs


Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sab

OK - a question for the sub's around here, and please be as spacific as you can, this is not about a command/order that you are given.

In everyday life, do you look at people in the eye and maintain eye contact with them or do you find yourself inadvertantly looking away, not in the shy sense, but one where you are in your nilla life outside of this lifestyle (for those who hate that word, transpose your own).



In everyday life and with my owner I look people in the eye.

C~


_____________________________

"Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid." -despair.com

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The heart of it all - http://www.wildfleurs.com
~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(in reply to Sab)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Eye Contact - 6/15/2006 1:08:09 PM   
murmur


Posts: 394
Joined: 9/26/2005
Status: offline 		It depends on what kind of mood i am in, but for the most part, i look people in the eyes.
When it's an intimate topic, i tend to look around the person and avoid their eyes. I think it gives me some kind of strenght, knowing they'll not entirely read me if i dont look at them directly. I know it's silly, but i still do it...

When i was younger (and sometimes today), i played in the street at staring at people passing by me. Their reactions was so funny, i could go on a day just walking in the streets and doing just that.
There's something about watching emotions running upon someone's eyes/face. like light shadows of their soul or something.

(in reply to Wildfleurs)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Eye Contact - 6/16/2006 5:41:48 AM   
littlelostbunny


Posts: 141
Joined: 6/15/2006
Status: offline 		I'm not really "in the lifestyle" at the moment, but in the 'nilla world, I have eye contact issues. I don't like making eye contact, even when it's expected of me. Don't know why; I just end up looking anywhere that isn't at the person I'm talking to.

A lot of times, in restuarants, I never look at our waiter or waitress, much less in their eyes. It makes it a little awkward when someone asks, "Is that our waiter/waitress?" "Errr...."

Just my experience.

--bunny

(in reply to murmur)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Eye Contact - 6/16/2006 7:02:38 AM   
MLskajira


Posts: 275
Joined: 2/17/2006
Status: offline 		when this girl is attempting to make a point, she will always look the P/person in the eye. the only time she does not is when she knows her Master wishes her eyes down and even then, if she is desprate to make her point, she will look Him in the eye anyway. sometimes it'll get her punished, but always it gets His attention.

_____________________________

378-828-272

(in reply to littlelostbunny)
Profile   Post #: 55
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