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Sissy maid Advice - 9/28/2012 7:37:48 PM   
chiguy2000


Posts: 1
Joined: 1/24/2012
Status: offline 		Hello – I am looking for advice/recommendations on how to find someone who can fulfill my lifelong dream of becoming a sissy maid. I am 33 years old, single, and line near Chicago. My extent of actual sissy maid training is very limited, and were all professional dominatrix. Now, it is nothing against the Mistresses I served, but I just don’t think my complete training would be economically feasible. Also, while I enjoyed the session, it mostly involved me putting on a maid outfit, and that was considered training. I am in this for the long haul, and my goal is to be a properly feminized sissy maid who actually does serve my Mistress (or Dom Couple/Master is something I may consider).

I am not looking to be physically transformed with hormones, etc. but I am definitely willing to under-go exercise as my Mistress sees fit to help shape my feminine figure. I am 6’0” 245lbs, and definitely don’t look like a girl, and I don’t necessarily expect to. However, what I am looking for in my training is training in mannerisms, walking, sitting, and curtsey like a sweet little girl, as well as a feminine demeanor and smile. I am also 100% submissive, and although I am not a masochist nature I do expect to be punished as part of my training if I exhibit any unfeminine behavior or don’t do my job. I would love to tell you more about myself and my desires, but this is something I have suppressed for a long time and ready to go forward with. I really want to serve, whether it is just my Mistress or a party, I really look forward to the day I am in in my pretty uniform, high heels, and serving drinks to people.

I hope someone out there can help make my dream come true. I know, when you first look at the big rough macho me, you will probably say I have no change to become a sissy maid. However, I will prove you wrong and I will make you proud of the girl you trained me to become that I hope you will show me off to your friends. I am not looking for a Professional, but I do expect to pay my dues through hard work and actually cleaning in consideration of the training. I am looking for some advice on how and where to meet woman who are interested in finding a real life sissy maid to train. Are there some clubs that are better? Are there some websites that are better? Any advice would be greatly appreciated from this new "girl" in the scene. Thanks
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RE: Sissy maid Advice - 9/28/2012 7:56:34 PM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline 		Big rough macho men don't make good sissy maids. Sorry, but that's the truth.

You are just going to have to deal with that.

All the good sissy maids I have known have had a feminine quality about them. This does not mean they were totally female in aspect. But they certainly had a female side to them that came out in a big way.

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RE: Sissy maid Advice - 9/28/2012 8:02:25 PM   
cherrykeyboards


Posts: 11
Joined: 11/10/2008
Status: offline 		Great post chiguy; if you have a dream stick to it, don't Let others tell you can't achieve.

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RE: Sissy maid Advice - 9/28/2012 8:03:51 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I've known good sissy maids that had very little in terms of female appearance, but they didn't look like big macho men, either. That's not to say you don't have it in you, but it will be a hard road. I would start by losing fifty pounds or so.

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RE: Sissy maid Advice - 9/28/2012 8:04:16 PM   
poise


Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline 		Hi chiguy, welcome to the message board!
While I have no experience in this to share with you, I have seen many posts similar to yours,
and some great suggestions were offered in them. Perhaps you can find some answers here.



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RE: Sissy maid Advice - 9/28/2012 8:07:12 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		I'm sure Chicago has an active kink scene. Fetlife.com is a great way to find events local to you. I recommend you get involved with the local community, volunteer, and after you wow women with your gracious service, perhaps they will be amenable to discussing sissifying you.

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RE: Sissy maid Advice - 9/28/2012 8:11:16 PM   
MistressDarkArt


Posts: 5178
Status: offline 		Welcome. The best advice is to give you a heads-up about how you just presented yourself. Your detailed item-by-item focus on your kink will put off the majority of lifestyle women dominants. We've had many threads about this in the past; most of the women posters said they would rather do their own housework or hire a real housekeeper than bother with what you have written here in great detail. The professionals you paid may be your personal fetish delivery system, but we don't like to be approached or thought of that way.

Except money, there are no shortcuts to this lifestyle and as you found out through your paid session, even that is no guarantee of satisfaction. To find someone you don't have to pay, you still need to meet and befriend people the same way you would in vanilla life.

Find a munch or group in your area, and get to know everyone there as plain ol' folks. That's what we all are. That we have kinky proclivities doesn't mean we want to do them with some guy we don't know who NEEEEEEEEEEDS to have his fetish fulfilled, as you just described yourself. But we might be willing to oblige if we know you and love you as a regular guy.

Best of luck in your journey.

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RE: Sissy maid Advice - 9/28/2012 9:24:32 PM   
Alecta


Posts: 1355
Joined: 1/19/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chiguy2000
Any advice would be greatly appreciated from this new "girl" in the scene. Thanks


Myself personally when I am considering a sissy maid I want to know why they identify as a sissy maid and I want to know how seriously they take that role-- not in words, but in action. I am always swayed more towards those who have shown some real world aptitude in the work of a maid: actual knowledge in regards to chores or anything relating to, or job experience in a related sector, or an actual practical opinion on how a clean home should be kept, and similar in areas of personal attendance... I suppose i take things really quite literally in the lifestyle sometimes where I expect "sissy maids" to be maids first lol

in regards to the comment of macho men being unpopular as sissy maids, I think that is a matter of taste. There is a guy in our local scene who frequents the bars and events in kilts and skirts. He's still burly and hot. Rule of thumb with aesthetics, go with what suits you. Could be your overall build and colourations make you look stupid in frothy pink lace but acceptable in stern pristine matron outfits *shrug* It is, of course, matter of your Mistress' tastes.

If you mean it when you say you are serious about being a sissy maid then present yourself as someone who is serious about this as an identity rather than a fetish. This is true of most kinks. Remember always that any relationship in the lifestyle is still fundamentally a relationship first whether it be romantic, platonic or transactional. So approach people with your focus on building that relationship foundation first.

Join the usual munches, events, discussions. Build up your reputation in the community. Depending on your locale, there are often private BDSM parties that are happy to being helped out by unowned sissy maids, so consider volunteering for those when they pop up. Good, genuine service submissives are actually very rare, whereas men who say they want to be sissy maids but really just want to crawl around in a french maid's outfit are a dime a dozen. Prove yourself to be the former and the ladies will come to you.

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RE: Sissy maid Advice - 9/28/2012 11:13:41 PM   
AthenaSurrenders


Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chiguy2000
However, what I am looking for in my training is training in mannerisms, walking, sitting, and curtsey like a sweet little girl, as well as a feminine demeanor and smile.


I know this won't be fulfilling in the short term, but a course of decent acting classes will help you isolate your own mannerisms and quirks and learn to switch them off and replace them with other, more feminine ones. Not because I'm saying you're 'acting' the role, but because it takes a real degree of self awareness and practice to change the way you walk and talk. Serious suggestion. I'm not suggesting it as a replacement to a relationship, but rather something you could be working towards whilst you are looking.

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RE: Sissy maid Advice - 9/29/2012 6:52:28 AM   
OttersSwim


Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline 		In my opinion, it is better to identify as a "Sissy" which has a much broader range and options than just as a "Sissy Maid". Saying that you are a sissy, opens up your life to concepts around an authentic expression of something that is core to your being - a feminine expression - however it calls to you. This leaves you open to many options in the lifestyle and you are not stuck in a maids outfit all the time (yes, I just said that), and identified as the "maid guy" - and hopefully not the "creepy maid guy". All good to want to be a maid as part of the expanded concept of being a sissy, but don't make yourself into a one-trick-pony cause that is how you will be identified and subsequently dismissed.

And seriously, the typical concept of a sissy maid's outfit is something totally unsuited to cleaning and work. Mopping in heels on a tile floor is asking for a trip to the emergency room, and cleaning toilets in your best dress is something no sensible female would EVER do. And if you put yourself out there, someone is going to come along who actually wants you to clean their house. See my pic below for a concept of how to be completely feminine and still get some work done.

Now, all that said, those frilly outfits are totally appropriate for events like a FemDom tea party where the "work" would be much more around concepts of serving and doing a few dishes rather than actual hard physical labor - and those do occur. But they are occasional events...not a way of life.

< Message edited by OttersSwim -- 9/29/2012 6:55:19 AM >

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RE: Sissy maid Advice - 9/29/2012 6:54:46 AM   
OttersSwim


Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline 		Oops forgot the pic:




Attachment (1)

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RE: Sissy maid Advice - 9/29/2012 7:02:39 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		OK. Was I the only one that felt TOTALLY cheated with that pic?


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RE: Sissy maid Advice - 9/29/2012 7:07:52 AM   
OttersSwim


Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline 		I was trying to give a concept that still had a little fun and whimsy in it.

We all know what a practical maid's outfit looks like - knee length skirt, short sleeves, sensible shoes, hair restrained, etc. - and actually this has all the elements of it. The only difference is the longer skirt which was typical up to the 1900s.

Edit to add: Even Cinderella was dressed more practically to clean...


< Message edited by OttersSwim -- 9/29/2012 7:21:28 AM >

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RE: Sissy maid Advice - 9/29/2012 8:38:46 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I really have met with a sissy maid subset that always did a servant's uniform and role.

Chicago is a big city with a lot of pervs. Go out and find some. Athena's suggestion of an acting class is fabulous, that never occurred to me!

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RE: Sissy maid Advice - 9/29/2012 8:47:29 AM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline 		Some great advice here, OP. Chicago is filled with BDSM type groups, many seeking volunteers. Often sissymaids serve foods and beverages at play parties and discussion groups. It allows the maids to do their thing, and exposes their talents to the community. All in all a great thing.

I know some hugely skilled sissymaids who have chef level skills in cooking, pasty chef levels skills in baking, and marvelous talents in meeting planning. Being a sissymaid is not just about the cool outfit and how you look.

Do you have the skills to go with the outfit?

This is a huge area that you can have great fun with. I'm sure you can find a local cross dressing group, and possibly find a mentor.

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RE: Sissy maid Advice - 9/29/2012 8:47:40 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		*LOVES OTTERS*

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RE: Sissy maid Advice - 10/1/2012 8:07:50 AM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chiguy2000

I am looking for advice/recommendations on how to find someone who can fulfill my lifelong dream of becoming a sissy maid. .......I am in this for the long haul, and my goal is to be a properly feminized sissy maid who actually does serve my Mistress.

......I hope someone out there can help make my dream come true.


Okay, I have a couple of thoughts to add here.

Firstly, I agree with MistressDarkArt. Please read her post several more times.

The problem with your request is that you're leading with your kink. Most women seem to be offended by men who approach them as "kink delivery systems", rather than as women. Think about that for a while.

Secondly, you said that you desire to be a sissy maid. You didn't say that you desire to submit. They're totally different things. One describes a fetish, and the other describes a D/s dynamic. So which are you searching for? I think you're going to find that most Dommes are looking for the latter, while you're offering the former.

This may not seem like an important distinction, but it really is. For example, what if she said that she wanted you to clean her house, but she doesn't want you to dress in women's clothing? What is she says that she prefers for you to dress in regular street clothing while cleaning her home? Would that be a deal breaker for you? If so, then you are probably more of a fetishist, and not a true submissive. I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with that. But you need to understand this distinction in your own mind.

Also, being a big burly man, what if she wants to take advantage of your size and strength. Suppose she wanted you to shovel her driveway in the winter, or rake up a yard that is full of leaves, or help her dispose of some heavy items that have been taking up space in her garage. Are you open to doing that?

Chicago is a huge city with a thriving kink community. Moreover, it's an easy drive to Indiana and Wisconsin, so that adds even more options. I'm sure that it will be easy to find a dominant woman who is seeking a sincere service sub. Finding a dominant woman who is specifically seeking a "sissy maid" may be a bit more difficult.

But either way, the best advice I can give you is to log off of your computer and go to a munch. Your quest starts there.

< Message edited by Rochsub2009 -- 10/1/2012 8:11:20 AM >

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RE: Sissy maid Advice - 10/30/2012 10:07:19 AM   
alildifferent


Posts: 38
Joined: 9/30/2012
Status: offline 		Having spent time as both a maid and a sissy (I've since graduated to transexual) I'm a bit puzzled by your post. You say you want to be feminized but are just willing to toss on girl clothes and learn some feminine mannerisms. Females are so much more that. The definition of feminization is: make or become feminine or to develop female characteristics. There is so much more to being female than just that. I wouldn't say you can't be a "sissy maid" there are varying degrees of sissification. But I wouldn't say by learning the few things you listed you were becoming feminized. Clothes matter little in being feminine. If you want evidence of this simply go to the mall and see how many women wear tshirts, jeans, sweatshirts, and other things like guys yet I doubt many would call them men. To be truly feminized or feminine you should welcome becoming as female as possible. It' probably the best definition of what a female truly is. It's a mind state that welcomes all aspects of being female and is proud of it.

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RE: Sissy maid Advice - 10/30/2012 7:53:44 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

OK. Was I the only one that felt TOTALLY cheated with that pic?


No just hosed with cold water of reality!
The reason I don't like sissy maids even though male subs doing housework is something I really enjoy is this...I don't care how pretty you are, don't want to be bothered with your dress getting dirty or a run in your hose...its looking at myself in a shiney clean surface that does it for me.
Suggestions:
Get to a gym to trim down
Learn about how to keep facial hair removed
Learn how to actually clean a house!!
Practice by daily improving your living space, not leaving dishes etc
Get an extra job waiting tables as proper service also must be learned

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RE: Sissy maid Advice - 10/31/2012 10:41:42 AM   
peppermint


Posts: 5171
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline 		You are so caught up in mannerisms, postures, and curtseys but give little thought to actually cleaning knowledge.  If I'm going to have a sissy maid around the house, that sissy maid should know how to properly do the work.  That means how to clean various items.  That means how to remove stains from clothing.  It's not all pretend. 

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