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Saying no to a domme - 6/13/2006 9:10:52 AM

strob

Posts: 100
Joined: 9/6/2005
Status: offline

I suppose that, at least majority of dommes, feel superior over men and I think that's ok, that's the way they should feel as a true domme.
So, this is what I was wondering; I get a message from a dominant lady on this community saying -Quote " slave, I read your profile and I want to chat with you, I want to get to know you...obey me and meet me at yahoo messenger" Unquote.
So, since this woman is not my owner or anything close to that, I check her profile and kinda dislike it, so I reply to her that I am not interested.
Does she get mad by being denied?
Does she expect that every sub male would always and by all means chat with her?
How would you react?

Post #: 1

RE: Saying no to a domme - 6/13/2006 9:17:10 AM

Lashra

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline

Frankly, it wouldn't bother me, but then again I wouldn't send a message worded like that either. It sounds as if she thinks she's already your owner, which she is not. If she gets mad, she gets mad, fuck it life goes on. Yes she probably thinks that all slaves wish to be spoken to thusly and that you will meet her because of the percentage of Dommes to male subs is very low. Personally when I send someone a message I try to speak to them as another human being, an equal. But thats just me.

~Lashra

(in reply to strob)

Post #: 2

RE: Saying no to a domme - 6/13/2006 9:31:24 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

A counter question: Why do you care what she thinks?

I mean, you aren't interested. I assume your note telling her that was polite so after that its her business and her personality that determines how she feels about it.

There are probably men out there would would jump at a note like that. She took a chance but that's not you at least not for her.

As Lashra said, I'd never send a note like that to begin with though so its a bit difficult for me to relate to someone who would.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to strob)

Post #: 3

RE: Saying no to a domme - 6/13/2006 9:41:47 AM

MsWillAdore

Posts: 27
Joined: 5/30/2006
Status: offline

I think when you get mail like that... you should just ignore it & move on. If she can't treat you with respect as a human being or potential Domme to you... how do you think she would treat you in person? AND, that is probably just someone on here trying to work out some online/fantasy kink. I personally think that sub/slaves have the right to be treated with respect & "woo'ed" even.

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 4

RE: Saying no to a domme - 6/13/2006 10:07:21 AM

Oumae

Posts: 911
Joined: 1/4/2005
Status: offline

I wouldn't approach anyone in that way, if I do mail someone first it would usually be to comment on a post of theirs or something in their profile and if they replied they were not interested or if they didnt reply at all it wouldn't phase me.

Oumae

_____________________________

Is cuma le fear na mbrog ca leagann se a chos.
( The man with the boots does not mind where he places his foot)

(in reply to strob)

Post #: 5

RE: Saying no to a domme - 6/13/2006 10:48:51 AM

strob

Posts: 100
Joined: 9/6/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

A counter question: Why do you care what she thinks?

I mean, you aren't interested. I assume your note telling her that was polite so after that its her business and her personality that determines how she feels about it.

There are probably men out there would would jump at a note like that. She took a chance but that's not you at least not for her.

As Lashra said, I'd never send a note like that to begin with though so its a bit difficult for me to relate to someone who would.

it is not the point if I care or not...I posted this questions here because I always want to learn more about how a certain domme or all dommes in general think and feel because I want to be a better sub, that's all

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 6

RE: Saying no to a domme - 6/13/2006 10:50:42 AM

strob

Posts: 100
Joined: 9/6/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsWillAdore

I think when you get mail like that... you should just ignore it & move on. If she can't treat you with respect as a human being or potential Domme to you... how do you think she would treat you in person? AND, that is probably just someone on here trying to work out some online/fantasy kink. I personally think that sub/slaves have the right to be treated with respect & "woo'ed" even.

Yes, I suppose You are right...however, some subs might not want to be treated with any respect...

(in reply to MsWillAdore)

Post #: 7

RE: Saying no to a domme - 6/13/2006 10:56:37 AM

MadamShy

Posts: 173
Joined: 3/21/2006
Status: offline

its funny I would do same thing that I do when a sub sends Me such letter

ignore it and Move on if your not interested

or a polite No thankyou W/we don't seem to Match but thankyou for the interest if you prefure that .

its up to you dear

_____________________________

Madam Shy
Head Domina
Bitch of Club Hell
Providence RI

(in reply to strob)

Post #: 8

RE: Saying no to a domme - 6/13/2006 11:08:34 AM

MysticFireTopaz

Posts: 50939
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
Status: offline

I would never have sent a message worded like that. She doesn't own you and it sounds very presumptuous.

On the rare occasions that I have responded to a submissive male's ad, I sent him an e-mail telling him a little about Myself, why I was potentially interested in him, and left the door open for him to respond if he was interested. Either I did get a response in return, or the person simply did not answer. I interpreted the not answering as non-interest, and it didn't bother Me at all. If one of the people I had contacted sent Me a polite "no thanks," that would have been perfectly acceptable and I certainly would not have been angry.

I don't think there is anything at all wrong with your politely saying that you are not interested and don't see why She'd get mad, unless She's one of those ultra-sensitive people who doesn't handle rejection well.

If She expects that every sub male She contacts with that approach would drop what he's doing and oblige Her, She's living in a fantasy world. But then again, that may exactly be the case with Her.

Lady Topaz

(in reply to strob)

Post #: 9

RE: Saying no to a domme - 6/13/2006 11:08:49 AM

crouchingtigress

Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline

The only point I would make here is that I dont think you approach matches, but I dont see her as being dreadfully disrespectful, I know there are tons of Dommes and subs that play that exact way, starting off with a command and all....

The thing to recognize is that there are as many differing approaches as there are different folks in D/s and if some one approaches me and I feel a sense of unease or revulsion I trust my intuition that that person and I are not compatible.

_____________________________

Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."

(in reply to MadamShy)

Post #: 10

RE: Saying no to a domme - 6/13/2006 11:13:24 AM

strob

Posts: 100
Joined: 9/6/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

The only point I would make here is that I dont think you approach matches, but I dont see her as being dreadfully disrespectful, I know there are tons of Dommes and subs that play that exact way, starting off with a command and all....

The thing to recognize is that there are as many differing approaches as there are different folks in D/s and if some one approaches me and I feel a sense of unease or revulsion I trust my intuition that that person and I are not compatible.

I never thoguht she was disrespectful...It's just the way she is, that's all

(in reply to crouchingtigress)

Post #: 11

RE: Saying no to a domme - 6/13/2006 11:15:48 AM

UtopianRanger

Posts: 3251
Status: offline

quote:

So, this is what I was wondering; I get a message from a dominant lady on this community saying -Quote " slave, I read your profile and I want to chat with you, I want to get to know you...obey me and meet me at yahoo messenger" Unquote.
.

With the most heartfelt sincerity...... I think you should obey her every command. And if she deems necessary.... hand over your wallet & platinum and gold cards.

- R

< Message edited by UtopianRanger -- 6/13/2006 11:16:42 AM >

_____________________________

"If you are going to win any battle, you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do... the body is never tired if the mind is not tired."

-General George S. Patton

(in reply to strob)

Post #: 12

RE: Saying no to a domme - 6/13/2006 11:20:19 AM

MstrssSatin

Posts: 71
Joined: 4/5/2006
From: Indiana
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: UtopianRanger

[
With the most heartfelt sincerity...... I think you should obey her every command. And if she deems necessary.... hand over your wallet & platinum and gold cards.

- R

UtopianRanger

for shame...........

_____________________________

Mistress Satin
Seek well, Seek true
Are you man enough to submit to Me?

(in reply to UtopianRanger)

Post #: 13

RE: Saying no to a domme - 6/13/2006 11:23:27 AM

MstrssSatin

Posts: 71
Joined: 4/5/2006
From: Indiana
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: strob

I suppose that, at least majority of dommes, feel superior over men and I think that's ok, that's the way they should feel as a true domme.
So, this is what I was wondering; I get a message from a dominant lady on this community saying -Quote " slave, I read your profile and I want to chat with you, I want to get to know you...obey me and meet me at yahoo messenger" Unquote.
So, since this woman is not my owner or anything close to that, I check her profile and kinda dislike it, so I reply to her that I am not interested.
Does she get mad by being denied?
Does she expect that every sub male would always and by all means chat with her?
How would you react?

strob it sounds like she was attempting to stay in a "mode" she felt slaves expect, or she lacks simple common curtesy. Either way, since you did not care for her profile and responded with respect to decline her interests then all is well. I would say that the majority of Domme's do not approach anyone this way, she being the exception. Don't give it another thought and continue your search. Good luck to you.

_____________________________

Mistress Satin
Seek well, Seek true
Are you man enough to submit to Me?

(in reply to strob)

Post #: 14

RE: Saying no to a domme - 6/13/2006 11:44:48 AM

Oumae

Posts: 911
Joined: 1/4/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: UtopianRanger

quote:

So, this is what I was wondering; I get a message from a dominant lady on this community saying -Quote " slave, I read your profile and I want to chat with you, I want to get to know you...obey me and meet me at yahoo messenger" Unquote.
.

With the most heartfelt sincerity...... I think you should obey her every command. And if she deems necessary.... hand over your wallet & platinum and gold cards.

- R

Ok R, slave, I have read your post here and I want you to obey me now!!!!

Oumae

_____________________________

Is cuma le fear na mbrog ca leagann se a chos.
( The man with the boots does not mind where he places his foot)

(in reply to UtopianRanger)

Post #: 15

RE: Saying no to a domme - 6/13/2006 12:35:39 PM

crouchingtigress

Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline

I agree, I was not referring to you when I made that comment it was based on having read the replies from the whole thread, there were some that alluded to it...

quote:

ORIGINAL: strob

quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

The only point I would make here is that I dont think you approach matches, but I dont see her as being dreadfully disrespectful, I know there are tons of Dommes and subs that play that exact way, starting off with a command and all....

The thing to recognize is that there are as many differing approaches as there are different folks in D/s and if some one approaches me and I feel a sense of unease or revulsion I trust my intuition that that person and I are not compatible.

I never thoguht she was disrespectful...It's just the way she is, that's all

_____________________________

Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."

(in reply to strob)

Post #: 16

RE: Saying no to a domme - 6/13/2006 12:58:31 PM

MsKatHouston

Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline

I'll echo most of the people here who say they would never send a message like that in the first place. Regardless, if I am interested in a sub and they are not interested in me, I do expect a modicum of courtesy. A simple, "I don't think we will fit and good luck" will suffice. I would not be angry in the least and would move on.

I would suspect if this is the approach that is used often, she's used to a few "no thanks" and probably isn't angry or might feel affronted. I don't know how she feels and unless she replies nobody probably will. But most reasonable people will not be upset by polite honesty.

_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to strob)

Post #: 17

RE: Saying no to a domme - 6/13/2006 1:35:23 PM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline

Being rejected bothers me a slight bit, but I would never send anyone an email like that. I very rarely email guys, but when I do, it isn't with rudeness or condescension.
I wouldn't be surprised if that email was from a man who was trying to engage you in chat/camming. M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to strob)

Post #: 18

RE: Saying no to a domme - 6/13/2006 4:35:02 PM

mistressrose10

Posts: 56
Joined: 3/15/2006
Status: offline

I don't know about wooing a submissive but I do agree that being imperious at the risk of being totally ignored and rejected would make me feel pretty stupid, one may be submissive but he's not your submissive and not obligated to jump to your orders. Good manners elevates us from animals be we Dommes or subs.I think the language was a bit theatrical myself and I would suspect that Domme's authenticity.Best to ignore her if that kind of thing doesn't work for you.

(in reply to MsWillAdore)

Post #: 19

RE: Saying no to a domme - 6/13/2006 4:51:18 PM

MstrssPassion

Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline

(just a thought)
The general consensus seems to be that most dominant women do not initiate contact with submissive males & the way this was worded... I'm betting this wasn't even a woman.

Now if I were to initiate contact with someone & it was rejected... no big whoop. It is better to find out right up front rather than waste a bunch of time.

If you find you don't have interest with this woman or any other woman you encounter online... don't be worried about telling her no. If she gets pissy about it... block her. I would think that anyone getting pissy about it was a pretty good indication that your choice was wise.

_____________________________

MstrssPassion

(in reply to strob)

Post #: 20

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