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Untrained slaves-a blank canvass? - 6/13/2006 11:29:40 AM   
litleone8620


Posts: 3669
Joined: 6/12/2006
Status: offline 		Almost every dominant i've talked to, after realizing i am 'technically' untrained they call me a 'blank canvass' or something to mold into their perfect submissive.

Why can't they take a submissive as they are, and train them to compliment their already existing personality?
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RE: Untrained slaves-a blank canvass? - 6/13/2006 11:33:10 AM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: litleone8620

Almost every dominant i've talked to, after realizing i am 'technically' untrained they call me a 'blank canvass' or something to mold into their perfect submissive.

Why can't they take a submissive as they are, and train them to compliment their already existing personality?


How many dominants do you need?  According to what you wrote, you have met dominants who don't consider you "'blank canvass' or something to mold into their perfect submissive" so go with one of them and don't be concerned with what the others say.

What we do is relationship-based.  No one outside of the relationship gets a vote.

_____________________________

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(in reply to litleone8620)
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RE: Untrained slaves-a blank canvass? - 6/13/2006 11:34:52 AM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		Hopefully there is some of both, accepting the sub as they are and endevoring to "mold" them, in the training process.

< Message edited by crouchingtigress -- 6/13/2006 11:43:14 AM >

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RE: Untrained slaves-a blank canvass? - 6/13/2006 11:40:15 AM   
flaswitchmale


Posts: 8
Joined: 6/11/2006
Status: offline 		Well, since you have had dominants in the past, I don't think you are a "blank canvass."  They are either wrong, or you missrepresented yourself.  You may not be trained in the sense that you have no idea how to serve that dominant, but you are not "blank."  You have an idea about how to act, etc.  A good dominant will tell you up front what is expected of you.  While what is expected may evolve, it won't be assumed.

(in reply to JohnWarren)
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RE: Untrained slaves-a blank canvass? - 6/13/2006 11:41:04 AM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		JW,   I was not getting that she was asking for us to solve her lovelife...It soundeded like she was asking why cant a dom accept her (a submissive) as they are, and not need to mold them into something they are not. That is a pretty standard and  legitimate question for a new sub to be asking imho.

quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren

quote:

ORIGINAL: litleone8620

Almost every dominant i've talked to, after realizing i am 'technically' untrained they call me a 'blank canvass' or something to mold into their perfect submissive.

Why can't they take a submissive as they are, and train them to compliment their already existing personality?


How many dominants do you need?  According to what you wrote, you have met dominants who don't consider you "'blank canvass' or something to mold into their perfect submissive" so go with one of them and don't be concerned with what the others say.

What we do is relationship-based.  No one outside of the relationship gets a vote.


_____________________________


Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."




(in reply to JohnWarren)
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RE: Untrained slaves-a blank canvass? - 6/13/2006 11:41:51 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: litleone8620
Almost every dominant i've talked to, after realizing i am 'technically' untrained they call me a 'blank canvass' or something to mold into their perfect submissive.

That's because you are young, and will likely be seduced by the idea of being so desired and wanted that they will spend time with you- and that they see you as some beautiful passive piece of art or some "unblossomed flower" just waiting to emerge (with their help of course).
quote:


Why can't they take a submissive as they are, and train them to compliment their already existing personality?

Many do.

The blank canvas idea is mostly just romantic crap for seduction. We're adults here, we've had decades of life training, life experiences, life issues, and perspectives.  We're anything BUT blank.

In terms of bdsm, yeah you might be on the blank side, but that has nothing to do with you as a person, or how you will fit into relationships.  It's just pretty language to make subs feel desired.

I always was amused by the condescension, especially when I now get messaged by older doms who have maybe a few months offline experience and assume I'm an "unblossomed flower" due to my age alone.

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RE: Untrained slaves-a blank canvass? - 6/13/2006 11:43:38 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		I read your profile.  You are "collared" yet consider yourself "untrained".  I don't get that.  If you are collared, certainly your Dom/Master has trained you to what he likes/dislikes.  Do you think you require further training.....from another Dom/Master?  If so, why?

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(in reply to litleone8620)
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RE: Untrained slaves-a blank canvass? - 6/13/2006 11:44:09 AM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

JW,   I was not getting that she was asking for us to solve her lovelife...It soundeded like she was asking why cant a dom accept her (a submissive) as they are, and not need to mold them into something they are not. That is a pretty standard and  legitimate question for a new sub to be asking imho.


Well, the answer is that people have different needs.  She can't expect specific dominants to give up their needs and fantasies any more than they can expect her to give up her's.

She's not in charge of their lives.  They aren't in charge of hers (until she finds one who she wants to put in charge.)



_____________________________

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RE: Untrained slaves-a blank canvass? - 6/13/2006 11:54:39 AM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren

quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

JW,   I was not getting that she was asking for us to solve her lovelife...It soundeded like she was asking why cant a dom accept her (a submissive) as they are, and not need to mold them into something they are not. That is a pretty standard and  legitimate question for a new sub to be asking imho.


Well, the answer is that people have different needs.  She can't expect specific dominants to give up their needs and fantasies any more than they can expect her to give up her's.

She's not in charge of their lives.  They aren't in charge of hers (until she finds one who she wants to put in charge.)




All I can say is I hope she leaves a dom or two for the rest of us.  Sheesh!

(in reply to JohnWarren)
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RE: Untrained slaves-a blank canvass? - 6/13/2006 11:55:58 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14442
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		Actually, I find a large number of Dom's ideas of "training" laughable.

Service is something that is always in flux. It will always be changing. To be proactive takes learning WHO the Dominant is and understanding their needs. My view is that this isn't something that can be trained into someone. It can be guided, but ultimately it has to come from the submissive.

However, offering someone training for a high protocol relationship, offering someone training in cooking skills, etc....these in my opinion are valid examples of training.



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The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

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RE: Untrained slaves-a blank canvass? - 6/13/2006 11:59:04 AM   
darkinshadows


Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: litleone8620

Almost every dominant i've talked to, after realizing i am 'technically' untrained they call me a 'blank canvass' or something to mold into their perfect submissive.

Why can't they take a submissive as they are, and train them to compliment their already existing personality?

My assumption is that you consider yourself 'untrained' because of the lack of structure in your present relationship(Re: your other threads).  I would suggest that you are trained - even if this isn't done by your dominant - you already have 'training' just simply because you live in society.  You have certain methods of doing things - certain ways you behave, words you use.  Now - any dominant will either accept those traits or decide that he would desire you to do so a different way.  Then he will 'retrain' you - if it is that important to him.  These are issues that you will discuss and need to communicate before you submit totally(ideally).
 
Personal point of view - see yourself as trained and that you can be retrained.  Do not see as training as permenant - but something that evolves over time and with attitudes which constantly change.
 
Peace and Rapture


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(in reply to litleone8620)
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RE: Untrained slaves-a blank canvass? - 6/13/2006 12:01:27 PM   
darkinshadows


Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline
I think Oside was a bit clearer than me and I agree with her.  Training is a harsh sounding word.  Enhancement is a much better definition.  Although of course there are certain times when the word training is exactly what it is supposed to be (ie... like anal training)
 
Peace and Rapture


_____________________________
.dark.



...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to OsideGirl)
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RE: Untrained slaves-a blank canvass? - 6/13/2006 12:01:35 PM   
litleone8620


Posts: 3669
Joined: 6/12/2006
Status: offline 		I wear His collar only as a reminder of who and what i am. I consider myself untrained simply because up to the present i have only scened with Him, and i don't feel as if i've learned anything other than to tolerate pain a little more. 

I will always require further training and learning no matter how experienced i am. I've read this somewhere on here: 'when i stop learnnig that is when the last petal will be put on my gravestone' or something smilar (i apoligize to the person who said that, i'm sure i misquoted you). But i only require further training from my current partner. and that's it.

(in reply to KatyLied)
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RE: Untrained slaves-a blank canvass? - 6/13/2006 12:05:11 PM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: litleone8620
Almost every dominant i've talked to, after realizing i am 'technically' untrained they call me a 'blank canvass' or something to mold into their perfect submissive.


Really? Most Dominants that I speak with find me to be an interesting and complex woman. Gosh, I think I'd be rather offended if they referred to me as "blank".

There are lots of Dominants out there who will appreciate you for all that you are and will have no desire to change you into someone you're not. I wouldn't waste much time on the others.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to litleone8620)
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RE: Untrained slaves-a blank canvass? - 6/13/2006 12:05:51 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

But i only require further training from my current partner. and that's it.


That's good.  I didn't want to see you running around, thinking that a multitude of Doms could somehow improve your current relationship by offering you "training".  If you feel you need more specific ways to serve your Dom, find a way to discuss this with him.  If that is not possible, try to anticipate his needs when you can and serve that way. 


_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to litleone8620)
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RE: Untrained slaves-a blank canvass? - 6/13/2006 12:07:54 PM   
litleone8620


Posts: 3669
Joined: 6/12/2006
Status: offline 		I talk to a lot, but i am submissive to only One. I talk to them only to learn, not to be trained, or owned, or be with them in any other aspect of BDSM. I guess it seems that i have a harem full of dominates just waiting for their turn at me. Not true. I know at the beginning of almost every thread i've started, and most posts, i say 'most dominants i talk to' they are all the same dominants. There's several i talk to on a regular basis, but i've talked to many more for a day or two, and never heard from them again.

I apologize if i gave the impression of beng surrounded by dominants.

(in reply to marieToo)
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RE: Untrained slaves-a blank canvass? - 6/13/2006 12:11:09 PM   
StrictWhip


Posts: 13
Joined: 2/23/2006
Status: offline 		I wouldn't let it get to me.  I think in their own way they are trying to pay you a compliment.  An artist would prefer a blank canvas so that his work alone is revealed.  The idea that he would want to paint over something someone else has already painted, being less desirable.

As LA says, it's a bunch of romantic mush.  But more importantly, I don't think they are in anyway trying to insult you. 

(in reply to litleone8620)
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RE: Untrained slaves-a blank canvass? - 6/13/2006 12:11:30 PM   
litleone8620


Posts: 3669
Joined: 6/12/2006
Status: offline 		This is the truth. I did not create this thread to have my lovelife solved, or insulted. I was just wanting the opinion of others as to why it seems that a dom can't accept a submissive (not myself) as they are and not need to mold them into something they aren't. (sorry, i had to quote you word for word, and i hope you don't mind.)

(in reply to crouchingtigress)
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RE: Untrained slaves-a blank canvass? - 6/13/2006 12:29:05 PM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		I dont mind
 
You ask a very good question. I was sort of brief with my answer, but I am very aligned with what LA said, it is romantic rubbish, the whole blank canvas thing, But I for one love that sort of rubbish, I love the idea people as works of art, and works in progress, thats just the artist in me.
 


_____________________________


Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."




(in reply to litleone8620)
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RE: Untrained slaves-a blank canvass? - 6/13/2006 12:35:50 PM   
litleone8620


Posts: 3669
Joined: 6/12/2006
Status: offline 		I'm glad someone got my question and the answer reflected my question. 

(in reply to crouchingtigress)
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