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RE: When does a a slave feel worst? Is it physical or e... - 6/23/2006 12:01:07 AM   
cutew


Posts: 15
Joined: 11/4/2005
Status: offline 		I have been told by Master that punishing me by use of physical would never work (I may not behave ever), because I enjoy the pain.  Mental I do to myself, worse that he could ever do!  I have actually at one point had Master state that I didn't mess up as bad as I believed I did, and to stop beating myself up over it, because there was no problem in his mind!  That said, I have had it told to me that there are physical things that could be done with me that would be torture to me...sigh, but again they would all come back to mental in the end.  I would know I displeased him, and the reason I was over there an missing out on such things that I enjoy was because I messed up.  Although I have never had any punishment truly...I have been told there is no need to punish me, I know when I mess up, and that I punish myself much more than he ever could.  I think he meant I simply do a better job.  I don't repeat the same mistakes again though...or it is rare that I do!

(in reply to HisTicia)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: When does a a slave feel worst? Is it physical or e... - 6/23/2006 2:55:26 PM   
doubleLeo


Posts: 50
Joined: 11/26/2004
Status: offline 		I think the emotional because the emotions give guidelines within pain. Pain without connection has its value also, but for me, its perhaps both working together. When the emotions arent there, or are negative, the whole physical aspect is affected.
I cannot say the same for the reverse- getting whacked while upset does not necesarily adress the real core issue, which of course lies within the feeling body :-)

dL

(in reply to SlavesServeHer)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: When does a a slave feel worst? Is it physical or e... - 6/24/2006 8:50:32 AM   
submissvelilbrat


Posts: 129
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline 		ugh..emotional, definitely. to sit alone with my own thoughts, knowing i have displeased the one person i want to please most can literally tear me apart.  while physical can work, it is over quicker, and exhoneration is complete, but to allow me to think over what i have done and how displeasing it is...that is the longest, most excruciating punishment for me.
 
(oh, to have this in writing and know it could be used...not sure hitting OK is going to be in my best interest)

_____________________________

Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely, in a well-preserved body,
but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting...
HOLY SHIT! WHAT A RIDE!

(in reply to doubleLeo)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: When does a a slave feel worst? Is it physical or e... - 6/24/2006 9:29:36 AM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cutew

I have been told by Master that punishing me by use of physical would never work (I may not behave ever), because I enjoy the pain.  Mental I do to myself, worse that he could ever do!  I have actually at one point had Master state that I didn't mess up as bad as I believed I did, and to stop beating myself up over it, because there was no problem in his mind!  That said, I have had it told to me that there are physical things that could be done with me that would be torture to me...sigh, but again they would all come back to mental in the end.  I would know I displeased him, and the reason I was over there an missing out on such things that I enjoy was because I messed up.  Although I have never had any punishment truly...I have been told there is no need to punish me, I know when I mess up, and that I punish myself much more than he ever could.  I think he meant I simply do a better job.  I don't repeat the same mistakes again though...or it is rare that I do!


Im probably in the minority when I say that I dont think punishment needs to be so common in wiitwd.  I think the goal in any good relationship is for each person to meet the others' needs.  Therefore, its sort of a no-brainer that most sub/slaves would already be doing their best to be pleasing to their Dom/Master.  I understand feeling like crap when we may have disappointed, but I dont see how anything more than communication is needed when those times occur. 

I have experienced both the feeling of knowing I fell short of pleasing and also having been punished for it physically and emotionally.  For me, just knowing that Ive disappointed is basically enough to make me want to "right" the wrong, as soon as I can, in whatever way I can.  However,  Im not going to say thats a worse punishment than a physical one.  Its not....Not for me anyway.  I think sometimes when I hear slave/subs say that there is no worse punishment than knowing they've disappointed,  it crosses my mind that they just havent been hit hard enough.  But then if someone enjoys pain, I suppose an emotional/mental punishment would obviously be worse.  Depends on the person.

Im just not crazy about the whole punishment thing in a Ds relationship.  Im probably going to get jumped for this,  but frankly, I think its mostly kink for alot of people and they just dont want to admit it.   I can understand some type of exercise in order to "teach" a sub/slave;  but for alot of people, I think "punishment" is mostly an effort to create a mindset for a scene. It sort of throws out a more passionate and emotion-evoking twist, as opposed to just bending over and taking a whipping because sub and master want it.  I think alot of people get off on it, but they're in denial about it. 

(in reply to cutew)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: When does a a slave feel worst? Is it physical or e... - 6/25/2006 6:15:03 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline 		I am never punished emotionally and I'm glad. It's strictly a *You do this and this happens* situation. The knowledge that a caning would be the result of not obeying has stopped me from doing many a thing. 

I don't like pissing him off, or making him cross or disappointed, but in all honesty.....it's the fact that he'll hit me with a big stick and it'll hurt like HELL that is the driving force when I'm sorely tempted to go my own way.

agirl

(in reply to SlavesServeHer)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: When does a a slave feel worst? Is it physical or e... - 6/25/2006 7:52:08 AM   
suggababy23


Posts: 73
Joined: 10/16/2005
Status: offline 		Emotional by far.

As I tell every Dominant I have ever been with, the worst punishment you can give me is to sit me in a corner and ignore me.  I cannot deal with being ignored.  To me, it makes me think that I have done something so bad and so terrible that you don't even want to acknowledge my existance.  It's a lonely and hurtful thought.  I would rather be spanked, because then I know you are still willing to look at me and interact with me on some level. 

(in reply to agirl)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: When does a a slave feel worst? Is it physical or e... - 6/25/2006 10:24:02 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: suggababy23

Emotional by far.

As I tell every Dominant I have ever been with, the worst punishment you can give me is to sit me in a corner and ignore me.  I cannot deal with being ignored.  To me, it makes me think that I have done something so bad and so terrible that you don't even want to acknowledge my existance.  It's a lonely and hurtful thought.  I would rather be spanked, because then I know you are still willing to look at me and interact with me on some level. 



 I can truthfully say that I've never felt hurt by being punished. I don't beat myself up for it either. If I choose to disobey, I simply have to pay the price.

I know what to expect if I breach any rules; he always has been perfectly clear about this...... It's that simple. I know where I stand.

If he plonked me in a corner and ignored me, it would be daft......I know he wants to interact with me, that's why he's here. It wouldn't affect me in the least.

I don't go through any deep emotional reflection on my *wrong-doing*, there's no need.....I usually think, * Oh bugger, now I'm for it*.

agirl



(in reply to suggababy23)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: When does a a slave feel worst? Is it physical or e... - 6/25/2006 11:23:39 AM   
NJSubGirl


Posts: 47
Joined: 4/10/2006
Status: offline 		Having my Master displeased with me is worse than ANY beating!!! BY FAR!

(in reply to agirl)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: When does a a slave feel worst? Is it physical or e... - 6/25/2006 11:42:59 AM   
indybbwsubbie


Posts: 51
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		When a Master leaves me alone - does not contact me - leaves me wondering.  my mind goes to places that it probably shouldn't.  i do myself more damage emotionally than a Master's flogger ever could.

indy subbie

(in reply to NJSubGirl)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: When does a a slave feel worst? Is it physical or e... - 6/25/2006 12:41:09 PM   
suggababy23


Posts: 73
Joined: 10/16/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl
I can truthfully say that I've never felt hurt by being punished. I don't beat myself up for it either. If I choose to disobey, I simply have to pay the price.

I know what to expect if I breach any rules; he always has been perfectly clear about this...... It's that simple. I know where I stand.

If he plonked me in a corner and ignored me, it would be daft......I know he wants to interact with me, that's why he's here. It wouldn't affect me in the least.

I don't go through any deep emotional reflection on my *wrong-doing*, there's no need.....I usually think, * Oh bugger, now I'm for it*.

agirl





I would have to say that you are rather blessed in that reguard.  I tend to punish myself more than he ever could.  I am not the type of submissive who does wrong to get my dominant to punish me.  I would rather avoid them.  So on the occasions I do get repremanded, it is because I have truely done something wrong and often times, unintential and without giving it full thought.

(in reply to agirl)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: When does a a slave feel worst? Is it physical or e... - 6/25/2006 1:36:50 PM   
alovelypet


Posts: 35
Joined: 4/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bandit25

Well, I am not a slave; however, I feel much worse when the punishment is emotional.  Physical pain is more cathartic...at least for me.


i definitely agree with that statement.  When punishment is physical, the pain comes, causes tears and i feel cleansed afterward.  Emotional punishment tends to linger awhile longer because  i know that i have disappointed my Master.

_____________________________

Do you understand the delicious mindfuck of being hurt while He's kissing me tenderly? He has control always, especially when He's making me feel loved while torturing me.

(in reply to bandit25)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: When does a a slave feel worst? Is it physical or e... - 6/25/2006 4:05:39 PM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: suggababy23

quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl
I can truthfully say that I've never felt hurt by being punished. I don't beat myself up for it either. If I choose to disobey, I simply have to pay the price.

I know what to expect if I breach any rules; he always has been perfectly clear about this...... It's that simple. I know where I stand.

If he plonked me in a corner and ignored me, it would be daft......I know he wants to interact with me, that's why he's here. It wouldn't affect me in the least.

I don't go through any deep emotional reflection on my *wrong-doing*, there's no need.....I usually think, * Oh bugger, now I'm for it*.

agirl





I would have to say that you are rather blessed in that reguard.  I tend to punish myself more than he ever could.  I am not the type of submissive who does wrong to get my dominant to punish me.  I would rather avoid them.  So on the occasions I do get repremanded, it is because I have truely done something wrong and often times, unintential and without giving it full thought.



I guess there's the difference.... It would be hard for me to do something punishable unintentionally when it's very clear what the ground rules are.

In any other circumstances, if he wants me to stop doing something that is bothering him , he just asks me to stop. He wouldn't punish me for that unless I didn't pay attention and continued.

As for doing wrong TO get punished.... it would be EXTREMELY foolhardy of me to do that when I am aware beforehand JUST how awful it is.

This system is simple and works for me.

agirl





(in reply to suggababy23)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: When does a a slave feel worst? Is it physical or e... - 6/26/2006 11:22:09 PM   
babysburnin


Posts: 421
Joined: 2/16/2006
Status: offline 		I'm not a "pain slut", but do enough it...except when it involves my failure someone.  Then, I just beat myself up - and I'm glad to get it over with so it can be over and done with. 

_____________________________

-Babysburnin

"Love is, above all else, the gift of oneself."
- Jean Anouilh

"The highest proof of virtue is to possess boundless power without abusing it."
- Lord Macaulay

(in reply to HisTicia)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: When does a a slave feel worst? Is it physical or e... - 6/26/2006 11:24:09 PM   
babysburnin


Posts: 421
Joined: 2/16/2006
Status: offline 		(enough = enjoy)  Fraudian slip, hehehe...

_____________________________

-Babysburnin

"Love is, above all else, the gift of oneself."
- Jean Anouilh

"The highest proof of virtue is to possess boundless power without abusing it."
- Lord Macaulay

(in reply to HisTicia)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: When does a a slave feel worst? Is it physical or e... - 6/27/2006 4:58:37 PM   
Misstoyou


Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline 		If my submissive isn't hurt more by disappointing me than by anything I do to him, I'm doing something wrong.

_____________________________

~ Miss Marie

a.k.a. "mean Lady"


(in reply to SlavesServeHer)
Profile   Post #: 35
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