Tricks for taking pain! (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive



Message

ladysuit -> Tricks for taking pain! (10/4/2012 3:39:23 AM)

Right. I'm a bit concerned because I've been lurking and stalking for a while and you're ferocious, albeit well-informed, bunch but I'm going to ignore my intimidated feelings because I genuinely need some ideas and Google isn't helping.

I am the World's Worst Masochist. I love it that he likes inflicting various types of fairly tame pain on me, and I love pain for humiliations sake, but I just can't deal with it! Whatever pleasure/pain crossover ya'll have in your heads doesn't exist in mine and 5 spanks in I am crying and shouting like a little bitch. He's awesome about it, before anyone comments that he shouldn't pressure me into doing anything I don't want to do. I also REALLY want to be able to do this for him, pleasing him is my kink even if being in pain isn't and it's not like any permanent damage is occurring.

So I guess has anyone else ever had my problem? Is there any kind of breathing exercises I can be doing? I mean obviously a good opiate addiction would help my cause but I'm not going to resort to that or numbing creams or whatever anytime he wants to wallop me on the ass.

Thanks :)



pyschosubmission -> RE: Tricks for taking pain! (10/4/2012 4:13:41 AM)

Start slow and soft, only a few light hits, and build up from there.

The more often you do that, the more your tolerance for pain will increase, that's worked for me. Although of course, never do anything you're not comfortable with, know your limits and most importantly PLAY SAFE!!

ETA
I am a rookie though so really take whatever I say with a generous pinch of salt [:D]



AthenaSurrenders -> RE: Tricks for taking pain! (10/4/2012 4:50:08 AM)

You sound just like me. I'm not a masochist, I don't have that whole pain-is-pleasure thing going on at all. The best part about a whipping is when it's over. I also enjoy 'suffering' for him and doing/enduring things that please him - that's what gives me the nice feelings. So I totally get it.

The bad news: I haven't found a trick to cope better with pain.

I've found some types of pain are worse than others. Warming up helps a bit - starting out with lighter blows to get used to it and building up gradually. It's also easier to take if I'm already turned on, if I know in advance it's happening so I can prepare, and if I'm lying down or otherwise in a position where I don't have to hold myself up. Being restrained seems to help me accept it, otherwise I tend to leap out of the way.

He's a sadist, so generally speaking I get no warning, no warm up and have to hold a position. He enjoys watching me struggle, watching me tremble and jump about and have to force myself to get back into position so it can continue.

I've tried controlling my breathing, I just can't seem to concentrate on it so it never worked for me. That said, I'm trying to just embrace it - he likes that it's hard for me, and I like knowing I did it once it's over.

Sorry!



ladysuit -> RE: Tricks for taking pain! (10/4/2012 5:29:48 AM)

Well, I'm not surprised to find out that there isn't some secret combination of in and out inhalations that make all the pain go away! Annoyingly at this stage our schedules are completely off so working at being hit more often to deal with it better isn't really an option. I guess one of my concerns is that he's put the "I only enjoy hurting people who enjoy being hurt" line out there, but I guess as long as we're both comfortable with me doing it because him happy makes me happy, and me actually liking the pain itself shouldn't be an issue for him.

quote:

He enjoys watching me struggle, watching me tremble and jump about and have to force myself to get back into position so it can continue.


Thanks for this description, because this is basically me except add tears and expletives, and I feel really self-conscious about the fact that I'm not taking it like a hardened bitch. I'm super inexperienced, to be honest, and even though I KNOW there isn't one right way to do things it doesn't stop me from feeling like I'm doing it wrong!



AthenaSurrenders -> RE: Tricks for taking pain! (10/4/2012 5:39:03 AM)

Haha swearing is against the rules in our house. I am learning that lesson.

I'm sure a sadist will be along soon to tell this but the vast majority of them are less concerned with how much of a beating you can take and more with getting fun reactions from you.

I know the 'I only like it if you like it too' line only too well. What we figured out though is that I really get excited by doing things I really dislike just to please him. It feels like I'm submitting more than if it were something I happened to enjoy. So once he got his head around that and understood that I can love and hate it at the same time, he found it made him hot too.



littlewonder -> RE: Tricks for taking pain! (10/4/2012 5:40:56 AM)

I scream, wail, cry, beg, bite down on something, try to zone out the best I can. I'm not a masochist. Pain for me just fucking hurts but he is a sadist and I love being able to make Master happy by taking the pain he places upon me.

That's all I got for ya.



ladysuit -> RE: Tricks for taking pain! (10/4/2012 5:52:06 AM)

I am actually just incredibly comforted by the fact that I'm not the only submissive who just doesn't enjoy the pain.



TallullahHk -> RE: Tricks for taking pain! (10/4/2012 6:03:42 AM)

There is some pain that I will gladly take, breathe through and enjoy. There is other pain that I cry, scream, and beg to stop. Like AthenaSurrenders said, there are sadists who want/need that second type of reaction. Do you know what reaction turns him on?



ladysuit -> RE: Tricks for taking pain! (10/4/2012 6:17:57 AM)

Haha! WELL. It's early days, and to be honest it never occurred to me to ask that question. But he was over the other day on his lunch break and was struggling to get into the mindset. A few things didn't work but a light whipping with my reaction being what I've described got him pretty worked up so I guess, maybe, the second one? I hope so! I guess we can talk about it next time I see him. He is amazingly chill and we talk easily so I'm not too worried about discussing these things with him.

quote:

Haha swearing is against the rules in our house.


Fingers crossed with us both being Australian born and raised that swearing never becomes against the rules. It might be one I can never follow! Bahaha.

I am super appreciative of these answers. I was really struggling with it internally and couldn't come to any conclusions in my own head, or from what I was reading elsewhere. This is definitely helping me to understand myself!



patrick15sub -> RE: Tricks for taking pain! (10/4/2012 6:33:20 AM)

Breathing techniques help, ask him to (when you're breathing heavy and hard) tell you to breathe how he is, slow and controlled. This can help you to focus on him instead of you. It can also be a stepping stone to subspace if he goes back and forth between pain and calming reassurance. I have found this to be my only way of coping emotionally. It's almost like Lamaze partners. P.S. I have an incredibly high (probably dangerous) threshold for pain and is just my .02 as a newbie.

Stay safe and enjoy knowing more about a part of yourself then many people ever will :)

If he's a pure sadist invest in something to bite down on, and a hood can help to not be making it worse on yourself. (Again just my opinion)



littlewonder -> RE: Tricks for taking pain! (10/4/2012 7:02:38 AM)

When Master and I were first together he taught me a way to breathe to help get through the pain but it doesn't always work. Sometimes I just can't concentrate enough to use the breathing technique because of the pain or emotions. There are times though when Master will breathe with me to calm me down so I don't hyperventilate or pass out. Basically breathe in through the nose, breathe out through the mouth, each slowly so you can become more focused. Like I said, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.



BouncyBoo -> RE: Tricks for taking pain! (10/4/2012 8:19:34 AM)

I use the same breathing exercise littlewonder mentioned - because I used to do it to help me sleep or meditate, so it is easy to fall in to that pattern for me. Then again, I also tend to bite down on things and if possible, grip a blanket. I don't know why holding a blanket helps, but it just does. (Plus it gives my hands something to do other than try and protect the place being whacked. :) )

I don't have a high tolerance for pain, but I do adore a good spanking, which means I've just had to build up to more. Luckily my spank partner (who is amazing at spankings, just amazing) has introduced different implements to give different effects.

The only thing I'm against is the damn hairbrush. I will try any other implement, but the wooden hairbrush is out of the question. (We even have a wooden spoon, and a ping pong paddle I'll use, but no hairbrush.)



ProlificNeeds -> RE: Tricks for taking pain! (10/4/2012 9:05:17 AM)

FR~

Get aroused first. Not just groping I mean get down and naked and grind on his shoe until you're begging to be beat just to make the ache stop.
I really dislike pain, it does nothing for me unless I'm already in a certain headspace, and being aroused first changes everything. It doesn't make it more pleasent, but the mix of endorphines from arousal then pain gives me a sort of drunken sensation that can last for some time, and if done right will land me in subspace.

Try putting yourself in different mind-sets before a rough spank, and see what the results are. Arousal, or even a vigorous workout/run before hand to get your body pumping, might alter the way you feel when its time to take the pain. Maybe a long relaxing soak in the tub, or a nap even. Late at night, early morning, play with the other influences surrounding paddle time to see what makes it the most enjoyable for you both.

The breathing is especially helpful and comes into play during proper workouts too, in through the nose, 2 count, exhale through the mouth, 4 count. It's the way I was taught to breath when doing weights and presses, and becomes habitual after awhile. I assume the breathing helps me too, it's hard for me to say since I adopted that deep breathing before I ever got into pain play.



tsatske -> RE: Tricks for taking pain! (10/4/2012 9:51:17 AM)

I am a masochist, I don't like warm up, but it helps most people a lot. I do transfere pain to pleasure well, but I also enjoy doing what I don't like for somoene I love, including pain that hurts. The problem is, as a masochist, I have a hard time finding things that I hate - other than the things that are completely off the table, it's a short list. I do know, however, that I can take alost no pain, until I'm in love. Relationship is really that important to me. Make sure the relationship is working - it doesn't sound like that is your problem, though.

although I do not care for warm up, I like starting hard, I do like ramping - starting hard and going up to super hard. It helps me to see each impliment before he uses it - if he will come around and show me whats next. Better yet if I kiss it - protocol works wonders for me. It helps if I know that an impliment I like is last - like a big, thuddy flogger. It helps if we change impliments often, cause then if I'm having trouble with one, I know that one will soon be over and we will be on to something else.

There are a lot of differant kinds of pain. Experiement with differant impliments and see if there might be some you actually like. Early on I couldn't deal with sting very well, and I still like thud better than sting. Some people are the opposite of that. Just try differant things and try to find one that works for you.



Duskypearls -> RE: Tricks for taking pain! (10/4/2012 9:56:13 AM)

Perhaps it will help to repeat, over and over, in your own head while being spanked, "Pain is/becomes pleasure." Over time it may reset in your brain what your relationship to pain is.



BouncyBoo -> RE: Tricks for taking pain! (10/4/2012 11:04:22 AM)

I wanted to add something else. Go a bit longer each time. I find that I can handle longer and harder spankings than I could just a few months ago, because each time we would go a bit longer. And vary it up, I think. Don't always be lying on the bed, lie across a lap, or on the floor, or bent over a chair or...

Is it getting hot in here?



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Tricks for taking pain! (10/4/2012 11:09:53 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ladysuit

Right. I'm a bit concerned because I've been lurking and stalking for a while and you're ferocious, albeit well-informed, bunch but I'm going to ignore my intimidated feelings because I genuinely need some ideas and Google isn't helping.

I am the World's Worst Masochist. I love it that he likes inflicting various types of fairly tame pain on me, and I love pain for humiliations sake, but I just can't deal with it! Whatever pleasure/pain crossover ya'll have in your heads doesn't exist in mine and 5 spanks in I am crying and shouting like a little bitch. He's awesome about it, before anyone comments that he shouldn't pressure me into doing anything I don't want to do. I also REALLY want to be able to do this for him, pleasing him is my kink even if being in pain isn't and it's not like any permanent damage is occurring.

So I guess has anyone else ever had my problem? Is there any kind of breathing exercises I can be doing? I mean obviously a good opiate addiction would help my cause but I'm not going to resort to that or numbing creams or whatever anytime he wants to wallop me on the ass.

Thanks :)


A fast reply! First, I know there was a recent thread on this, maybe in General? So do search, though the search feature here is iffy~

I am not a maso either, but I used to be a hell of a sensation player. This means that I could get walloped by a cane without flinching and say YAY BLOOD BLISTER!

I have exactly zero endorphin reaction. No subspace, no floating, zip. I figured out that there are a lot of things that I do not read as "pain". You know when you're having some ghastly medical test and they say "You'll feel a little pressure" as they stab you with a 4-ga cannula? Like that. Except I feel that cannula.

Anyway. Think of different ways of looking at the sensation... heat, tingling, any word that you LIKE or enjoy. Think about the sensation that happens right after you get smacked.

Good luck!



mnottertail -> RE: Tricks for taking pain! (10/4/2012 11:18:58 AM)

Concentrate as hard as you can on how you cant take anymore of this and wail and scream and cry, and just think, it will be over, it will be over, and keep that as a mantra, and when it is over, know its over, and release the pain...................................like a hypnosis.......focus on the bad intensely, while repeating the mantra of---when its over....... and much as this goes against your peoples grain if he agrees with it.........let him either walk away and stop everything for 5 minutes........or have a heated blanket to put on you or a cool rag on your ass (these last two are not so great, but may be what you think is necessary) .........but stop outside sensations for at least 5 minutes. lights, music, sounds, touch...................and think of yourself laying on a sunny beach you know, warm glowingly and drowsy with the gentle lapping of waves, and total emptiness..............deep but not forced slow breaths..........like you are trying to go to sleep and shut it all out.

Should help to train you to jack up the endorphins for awhile........



kiwisub12 -> RE: Tricks for taking pain! (10/4/2012 2:15:09 PM)

My first dom was a sadist, and i was completely inexperienced - and it took me a good year to get to the point that i enjoyed some types of pain. It took me longer to stop trying to understand that i liked pain, because pain hurt, and i wasn't supposed to like pain because it hurt and so on and so on. Once i got past the idea that pain was painful, it was a lot easier for me.

At that point i started hitting subspace - after swearing , jumping, yelling and making a spectical of myself. I found out i loved thuddy canes and if i knew that was where he would finish up it was easier for me to go with the other things.

I consider myself a masochist, but there are definitely things i don't like. And the pain still hurts...... [8|] [:D]



mnottertail -> RE: Tricks for taking pain! (10/4/2012 3:12:57 PM)

For many, its an acquired taste.




Page: [1] 2 3 4   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.046875