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Protocol! - 6/13/2006 3:49:08 PM   
kaijahania


Posts: 3
Joined: 6/12/2006
Status: offline 		Hi, just a general query, if chat or on a messenger a Dom talks to me how do i address them?  Do subs call all Dom's Master or Sir or just their own particular Master?

Thanks
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Protocol! - 6/13/2006 3:53:55 PM   
WikedUncle


Posts: 45
Status: offline 		Apparently, this one can't be repeated enough. Respect is earned, not taken. You don't owe anything beyond basic human courtesy to anyone with whom you don't have an established relationship. By that I mean considerably past the five-minute online average.

Anyone who thinks you do, or demands it of you, is no dominant. Think of it as a screening process.


_____________________________

"A man who can express himself in song need not express himself in suicide."

(in reply to kaijahania)
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RE: Protocol! - 6/13/2006 3:57:38 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Do what makes you happy.

No, all subs do not call all doms sir.

First off- in real life it's NOT as easy as just looking at their screen name. Secondly, not all doms want to be called sir.  Thirdly, most people relate to people as people, NOT as their personal relationship orientation.

And no one's yet figured out what to do with switches.

So again- do what makes you feel fuzziest. 

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to kaijahania)
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RE: Protocol! - 6/13/2006 4:17:38 PM   
slavejali


Posts: 2918
Status: offline 		Call them whatever they want to be called, that is pretty much how I handle it.

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Freedom in Bondage

Different Strokes for Different Folks

"I'll always have a *soft spot* for Sadists"

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: Protocol! - 6/13/2006 5:39:08 PM   
WolfinShadow


Posts: 27
Joined: 11/13/2005
From: twin cities Minnesota
Status: offline 		I really really really ..... really agree with the " respect is earned " statement . That being said I Know Submissive females that wouldnt feel right addressing a Dominant/ Master/top without using an honorarium . I also Know quite a few Submissives who would rather call them doody than sir Unless they Know them well and respect them.

to each their own , and though I do think that those who want to be called Sir in an IM need to get a Life , I dont think all of them are bad , I know quite a few well established , Competent , and well respected D/M/T that prefure to be called Sir but dont demand it.

I think this is where the cut off lays , Not in the request but in the Demand , If your self esteem is so low you need faceless people o the internet to call you sir , well not much there to begin with is there?

As for me I have a " Lord" title on My AOL SN , But tell people to call me wolf because the lord thing makes me want to write in stone or part the waters of the bathtub. I prefure wolf Unless you are involved with me on a D/s level or are just raise to be respectful which quite a few people still are . Not so Much on the internet , But there are some. and Again , It is their choice , Be it Wolf , or Lord, Or Sir Or Master , because demanded it means nothing but another SN , But given freely ? ::smile:: yes I like it . Its respectful and a nice way for someone to show they think your the cats pajamas, the Bee's knee's , Hot stuff.

Wow for a 40 year old I sound older

_____________________________

Wolf
Headmaster Shadow academy
Minnesotas first and only BDSM school

(in reply to kaijahania)
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RE: Protocol! - 6/13/2006 5:46:59 PM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		I think I'd have to call you finger lickin' good, Colonel.

(in reply to WikedUncle)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Protocol! - 6/13/2006 5:57:16 PM   
OedipusRexIt


Posts: 634
Joined: 11/15/2005
Status: offline 		I appreciate your desire to follow proper protocol, but other than exercising normal good manners (which is, of course, subject to wide interpretation) there is nothing else that is or should be expected of you.

I personally find it a big turn-off when someone I've just started talking to begins falling all over herself to call me "Sir".    Obsequiousness (sic) is not appealing to me.

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"My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die..."

(in reply to bandit25)
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RE: Protocol! - 6/13/2006 6:03:38 PM   
MistressOfGa


Posts: 2929
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kaijahania

Hi, just a general query, if chat or on a messenger a Dom talks to me how do i address them?  Do subs call all Dom's Master or Sir or just their own particular Master?

Thanks

Hi Kaijahania,
Personally, I like it when people ask me what they can call me. Most times I just say you can call me by my name. Until I own them, then I ask them to call me Mistress. But as stated, each person is different.

_____________________________





(in reply to kaijahania)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Protocol! - 6/13/2006 7:15:25 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		These threads always make me wonder why submissives and slaves can't ever earn respect? 

We always talk about doms getting honorifics due to respect.  I've known lots of slaves and subs who act more respectful than lots of dominants.

If we go by the idea that "I call them sir/maam when they earn my respect" then wouldn't subs and slaves get called sir and maam just as much?  Or does it mean subs and slaves are simply incapable of earning respect from others?

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to kaijahania)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Protocol! - 6/13/2006 7:20:24 PM   
Tikkiee


Posts: 1099
Joined: 4/6/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kaijahania

Hi, just a general query, if chat or on a messenger a Dom talks to me how do i address them?  Do subs call all Dom's Master or Sir or just their own particular Master?

Thanks

At first, address them however you feel most comfortable. If a relationship develops, then address them how they would like to be addressed.

_____________________________

~~@ cass @~~

(in reply to kaijahania)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Protocol! - 6/13/2006 11:06:02 PM   
Clothespingirl


Posts: 82
Joined: 3/8/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

And no one's yet figured out what to do with switches.



I hereby decree that switches will be universally addressed as "honey".

So let it be written, so let it be done...


_____________________________

"Cheeky bitch"

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Protocol! - 6/14/2006 12:08:13 AM   
WolfinShadow


Posts: 27
Joined: 11/13/2005
From: twin cities Minnesota
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

These threads always make me wonder why submissives and slaves can't ever earn respect? 

We always talk about doms getting honorifics due to respect.  I've known lots of slaves and subs who act more respectful than lots of dominants.

If we go by the idea that "I call them sir/maam when they earn my respect" then wouldn't subs and slaves get called sir and maam just as much?  Or does it mean subs and slaves are simply incapable of earning respect from others?
\

::smile::: to some of us " slave" is a title of repect , And I will Agree with you that Subs and Slaves should have an Honorarium  that shows respect . I myself strive to always call a Person by their name unless in scene < shrug> and I know that my mate is called " Miss" by some even though she is obviously mine . I think of this as an Honorarium not because of the word , But because of the respectful manner in which it is used.

If you wish to speak of organizing , event planning , Party giving , community building , Well Now you would have to speak of the Sub's , Slaves, Bottoms because in all Honesty , In all the communities I have visited , all the events I have attended its always the " Subbies" doing all the work. Without them there would be nothing for us Ol fat Dominants to do ::smile:::

Then again , Without us <Shrug> what would you have a party for?

_____________________________

Wolf
Headmaster Shadow academy
Minnesotas first and only BDSM school

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Protocol! - 6/14/2006 1:18:47 AM   
litleone8620


Posts: 3669
Joined: 6/12/2006
Status: offline 		I started a similar thread: when to use Master or Sir.

 

(in reply to kaijahania)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Protocol! - 6/14/2006 3:28:55 AM   
TolerableCruelty


Posts: 447
Joined: 2/4/2005
Status: offline 		Since I just read through 3 pages of almost the exact same thread.... I'm not gonna bother to actually see if anyone else replied as I'm about to, kaijahania...

I did scan down enough to see some posting about respect, though... how it should be earned, etc, blah blah blah....

I disagree with that... always have.

I, for one, think that respect should be given freely... without anyone having to jump through hoops in order to "earn" it... actually, when it comes to chat forums, I think too many mistake respect for common courtesy... they'll stick to the clique and not even address a new person, just because the new person hasn't "earned" the respect of the room/forum/boards/whatever....

Screw that.... Its too easy to show some decency and respect towards someone... the hard part lies within the person whom the respect is shown to... because its up to them to keep it.

And once its gone... its damn hard to get back.

As far as greetings and what to call doms... ehh, call 'em Sir, doms seem to like that... if they wish to be called something else, they'll let you know. If you're in Gor, all Free Men are called Master and all Free Women are called Mistress, btw... just in case you happen to wander into a Gorean themed chat setting or message board.

Take care, welcome to the boards an all that jazz, girly.....

T.R.

_____________________________

Never explain~~Your friends do not need it, and your enemies will not believe you

I'm sorry if I've offended you.... but maybe you needed to be offended

(in reply to kaijahania)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Protocol! - 6/14/2006 3:34:59 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kaijahania
Hi, just a general query, if chat or on a messenger a Dom talks to me how do i address them?  Do subs call all Dom's Master or Sir or just their own particular Master?


If the girl is Gorean then she will refer to me as Master Raven, She is slave I am free, the title is part of the protocol she takes on when identifying herself as Gorean.

If the girl is not Gorean and also not mine, it doesn't matter what she calls me so long as it is polite (Else the conversation will be terminated).

Some as an indication of the respect they have for me, refer to me as 'Sir', this is quite acceptable but not asked for.

MY Girl refers to me as 'Master'


_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to kaijahania)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Protocol! - 6/14/2006 6:21:17 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Clothespingirl
I hereby decree that switches will be universally addressed as "honey".

So let it be written, so let it be done...

As long as it's not "hon" (anyone from Baltimore knows what I mean)

:)

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Clothespingirl)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Protocol! - 6/14/2006 1:12:11 PM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline 		It depenmds, if you like him, then call him whatever he introduced himself as, if you don't like him, then call him forgotten....

I have been called "Sir" and "asshole"...my Pet is the one who called me the latter...it doesn't matter, what matters is what you and the other person like...if you want to call me Sir, go ahead, but it means only that you choose to do so.

_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran


(in reply to kaijahania)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Protocol! - 6/14/2006 1:35:24 PM   
Sab


Posts: 325
Joined: 5/2/2006
From: Canada
Status: offline 		Call me what you will, or Sab - it makes not a jot of difference to me. I have the respect and honour of the one who matters to me, say no more. :) 

_____________________________

God blessed it and it brought me to her.

(in reply to Arpig)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Protocol! - 6/14/2006 1:52:38 PM   
Bearlee


Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OedipusRexIt

I personally find it a big turn-off when someone I've just started talking to begins falling all over herself to call me "Sir".    Obsequiousness (sic) is not appealing to me.


Really?  OMG ...I 'Sir' everybody!  Well, the men, I mean...doctors, teachers, even (sometimes) clerks in stores; any man whom, however slightly, I find worthy of the ‘title’.  Do we not begin polite mail with ‘Dear Sir’?
 
Wow…now I feel badly and do hope I’ve not ‘Sir-ed’ you!  Seeeeeeee… I nearly did it just then!  LOL   While I’ve never called anybody ‘Master’…Sir seems just plain ol’ polite; even in vanilla circles.  No?

(in reply to OedipusRexIt)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Protocol! - 6/14/2006 9:12:20 PM   
mastersayed


Posts: 119
Joined: 3/21/2006
Status: offline 		protocol sucks. just do what suits you

(in reply to kaijahania)
Profile   Post #: 20
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