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friendship - 10/5/2012 3:21:34 PM   
lilypad99


Posts: 3
Joined: 3/11/2012
Status: offline 		I have an issue i am not sure how to handle. I received a message from a Dominant man . He has a pic in his profile. I know the woamn he is having a realtionship with and asked him if he didn't think being on here and wanting to chat with a sub was not playing games with his nilla girlfriend. He claims this is just a fantasy and that he has never meet anyone on here and will now bow out.

Do i tell my girlfriend about him contacting me or do i keep quiet? What do i do i don't want to see her hurt but if he is seeing others and she doesn't know than what?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: friendship - 10/5/2012 3:23:43 PM   
BoundSlave4Life


Posts: 116
Joined: 7/25/2006
Status: offline 		This is a tough one... Do you know his intentions?

(in reply to lilypad99)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: friendship - 10/5/2012 3:27:43 PM   
lilypad99


Posts: 3
Joined: 3/11/2012
Status: offline 		I know the relationship is pretty serious they go to weddings together etc

(in reply to BoundSlave4Life)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: friendship - 10/5/2012 3:29:48 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		It's been my experience that the messenger is usually the one that gets blamed for the message.

Nothing you do is going to stop him. If you push, he'll merely change venues. You're in a tough spot and either way she gets hurt.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to BoundSlave4Life)
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RE: friendship - 10/5/2012 3:35:13 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline 		Not that a lot of context would help because this question has no easy answers but did he actually come on to you or was it more a 'hey, just chats, how ya doing' sort of thing? It makes a difference.

My knee jerk is that if it doesn't involve your innermost circle, butt out. It's not an easy situation to be in. I opted out of telling when my best friends husband tried his dirtys with me when she was on a three week vacation but tearing someone a new asshole is not a limit and yes, I tore into him at the time. They did end up divorced for a variety of issues, not just that.. these things do tend to work themselves out one way or another over time.

Weigh the risk. Are you going to lose her friendship if you tell and she doesn't believe you? Are you going to lose her friendship if she finds out you knew and 'didn't' tell her?

You know your friend better than anyone else here. I'm afraid.. you're going to have to make the decision yourself.

I really feel for you. It's all around yucky.

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to lilypad99)
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RE: friendship - 10/5/2012 3:38:47 PM   
Duskypearls


Posts: 3561
Joined: 8/21/2011
Status: offline 		I'm not sure how I would handle that dear, but if you ever want to hear a joke with the word Lily Pad in the middle of it, let me know.

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: friendship - 10/5/2012 3:48:26 PM   
ARIES83


Posts: 3648
Status: offline 		I do Dusky!

OP,
Hmmm, I have no pity for cyber cheaters.


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530 DAYS

(in reply to Duskypearls)
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RE: yes, tell her - 10/5/2012 5:05:48 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

Do i tell my girlfriend about him contacting me or do i keep quiet? What do i do i don't want to see her hurt but if he is seeing others and she doesn't know than what?


A few years ago I DIDN'T tell a friend that her man was hitting on me and screwing around with other women. When she found out she was really hurt and angry. Additionally, she misunderstood and thought I was screwing around with him after we became friends. Fortunately, I had a chat log of me telling him to bug off due to my friendship with her.

We weren't super close, so I didn't tell her at the time, and also didn't want to be the messenger that got shot. In retrospect, I should have told her.

Does this guy have any forum posts here? I really doubt he's here for platonic reasons. I'm sure he's here to get laid. Your friend should know that she shouldn't have unprotected sex with him.

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(in reply to lilypad99)
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RE: friendship - 10/5/2012 5:11:19 PM   
Alecta


Posts: 1355
Joined: 1/19/2010
Status: offline 		If I were close to the woman I would tell her. I'd rather risk my friendship with her than see her get hurt and cheated by her man.
If I'm not close to her then I consider it none of my business, but will warn others in my acquaintanceship that I know are interested with him that he is woken for by an unknowing partner.

(in reply to lilypad99)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: friendship - 10/5/2012 5:20:17 PM   
DaddySatyr


Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline 		Message him and tell him he has 7 days. At the end of seven days, one of you is going to tell his girlfriend.



Peace and comfort,



Michael

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A Stone in My Shoe

Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?

"For that which I love, I will do horrible things"

(in reply to Alecta)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: yes, tell her - 10/5/2012 5:36:14 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama
We weren't super close, so I didn't tell her at the time, and also didn't want to be the messenger that got shot. In retrospect, I should have told her.


I lost my best friend because I told her that her husband was cheating. A few years later, she found out on her own and divorced him. But, we couldn't undo the horrible things she said to me or about me.


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: yes, tell her - 10/5/2012 5:46:11 PM   
BoundSlave4Life


Posts: 116
Joined: 7/25/2006
Status: offline 		IF you are going to tell her, I would play along with him. Don't hit on him, but let him hit on you and hang himself. Allow him to get sexual with you, and tell him that you're not comfortable with it. If he decides that he wants to meet you for something more than innocent chat bring her with you, and bring the chat logs.

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: friendship - 10/5/2012 7:34:46 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		Personally for me, I wouldn't tell her but that's me. I don't interfere in other people's life. Anytime I have in the past it has ended badly. My experience most women won't believe you because they will accuse you of not liking her boyfriend or you're stealing him for yourself, you're just being mean, etc...and then that ends the relationship.

It's up to you though.


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Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to lilypad99)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: friendship - 10/5/2012 8:08:45 PM   
lilypad99


Posts: 3
Joined: 3/11/2012
Status: offline 		What would happen if i point out his ad on here do you think?

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: friendship - 10/5/2012 8:21:38 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I dunno. Like I said, I just would shrug my shoulders and think, it's their problem, not mine. For all I know they have an open relationship or she knows but what she doesn't know, doesn't harm her attitude. I'm of the opinion that most women know, they just turn the other way because it's easier than being hurt.


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Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to lilypad99)
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RE: friendship - 10/5/2012 8:28:02 PM   
Duskypearls


Posts: 3561
Joined: 8/21/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ARIES83

I do Dusky!

OP,
Hmmm, I have no pity for cyber cheaters.



Duly noted, Aries, but Lily's gotta want it, too.

Truth be told, it's a heck of a long joke that goes better w/visual props, but if she really wanted me to....

< Message edited by Duskypearls -- 10/5/2012 8:29:25 PM >

(in reply to ARIES83)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: friendship - 10/5/2012 8:32:08 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

It's been my experience that the messenger is usually the one that gets blamed for the message.

Nothing you do is going to stop him. If you push, he'll merely change venues. You're in a tough spot and either way she gets hurt.


Yup. He'll either find another site or change his screen name or tell her you are lying because you've never liked him.If you show her the logs he'll just say he knew it was you and the logs would prove he was just setting you off to show her that you were the one that wanted HIM. It never works out well ime.


< Message edited by littlewonder -- 10/5/2012 8:33:18 PM >

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Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

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RE: friendship - 10/5/2012 8:48:16 PM   
Titaniya


Posts: 85
Joined: 9/9/2012
Status: offline 		I'd probably tell her by copying the conversation and linking his ad in an email message to her. In her place, I'd appreciate someone doing that for me.

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: friendship - 10/5/2012 9:27:45 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lilypad99

What would happen if i point out his ad on here do you think?


She will want to believe him, so she will most likely convince herself to ignore what is in front of her.


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to lilypad99)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: friendship - 10/6/2012 6:01:56 AM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline 		Rent a billboard, post it there
Anonymously, but of course.



Fuck, there are days this place feels like grade school

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 20
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