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Moving on.......... - 10/12/2012 1:18:02 PM

NorfolkSub69

Posts: 10
Joined: 10/12/2012
Status: offline

Hello everyone this is my first post.

I've been involved in a cyber D/s relationship for 8 months, it has become very intense and I want to explore further, real time.
The trouble is he is married and real time is impossible for us.
I knew this and 8, 6 even 2 months ago this suited us both well, now I am stuck.

Any advice??

Post #: 1

RE: Moving on.......... - 10/12/2012 1:22:12 PM

JanahX

Posts: 3443
Joined: 8/21/2010
Status: offline

What do you mean youre stuck? I dont understand.

_____________________________

The first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

The second rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

(in reply to NorfolkSub69)

Post #: 2

RE: Moving on.......... - 10/12/2012 1:23:41 PM

Hillwilliam

Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline

Unhide your profile, realize you're going to have to ditch this person sooner or later so make it sooner and then meet someone who is into RL.

_____________________________

Kinkier than a cheap garden hose.

Whoever said "Religion is the opiate of the masses" never heard Right Wing talk radio.

Don't blame me, I voted for Gary Johnson.

(in reply to JanahX)

Post #: 3

RE: Moving on.......... - 10/12/2012 1:28:23 PM

JanahX

Posts: 3443
Joined: 8/21/2010
Status: offline

OOOOhhhh... OK .. well thats easy. Ask him to leave his wife and kids, throw them out of the house so you can move in and be with him in RT. Im sure he'll comply and that way, your eight months of cybering with a liar and cheater wont be wasted time.

_____________________________

The first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

The second rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

(in reply to JanahX)

Post #: 4

RE: Moving on.......... - 10/12/2012 1:29:05 PM

NorfolkSub69

Posts: 10
Joined: 10/12/2012
Status: offline

By stuck, I guess I mean, knowing but not wanting to admit that what Hillwilliam has said is what I have to do.

Ok Hillwilliam thanks just wanted someone to say it for me.

< Message edited by NorfolkSub69 -- 10/12/2012 1:30:41 PM >

(in reply to JanahX)

Post #: 5

RE: Moving on.......... - 10/12/2012 1:29:27 PM

TallullahHk

Posts: 572
Joined: 8/20/2012
Status: offline

What HillWilliam said...get out and meet real people who are not married. IMO you can't have an authentic D/s relationship online because, well, it's just not real.

(in reply to Hillwilliam)

Post #: 6

RE: Moving on.......... - 10/12/2012 1:30:21 PM

JanahX

Posts: 3443
Joined: 8/21/2010
Status: offline

So - you want us to admit it for you or what? I dont know what it is that you are needing here.

quote:

ORIGINAL: NorfolkSub69

By stuck, I guess I mean, knowing but not wanting to admit that what Hillwilliam has said is what I have to do.

_____________________________

The first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

The second rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

(in reply to NorfolkSub69)

Post #: 7

RE: Moving on.......... - 10/12/2012 1:33:15 PM

Hillwilliam

Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline

You're very welcome Norfolk. Sometimes, the hardest thing to do is what you HAVE to do.
Both of you need to get on with your lives and there's no sense waiting. It won't get any easier if you just "Wait till next month". then it'll be "After the Holidays" then it'll be "After the first of the year" then it'll be........................ you get the idea.

_____________________________

Kinkier than a cheap garden hose.

Whoever said "Religion is the opiate of the masses" never heard Right Wing talk radio.

Don't blame me, I voted for Gary Johnson.

(in reply to JanahX)

Post #: 8

RE: Moving on.......... - 10/12/2012 1:38:21 PM

NorfolkSub69

Posts: 10
Joined: 10/12/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam

You're very welcome Norfolk. Sometimes, the hardest thing to do is what you HAVE to do.
Both of you need to get on with your lives and there's no sense waiting. It won't get any easier if you just "Wait till next month". then it'll be "After the Holidays" then it'll be "After the first of the year" then it'll be........................ you get the idea.

It looks like I'm about to be an owner-less pet again very soon, thank you Hillwilliam you gave just the right nudge.

(in reply to Hillwilliam)

Post #: 9

RE: Moving on.......... - 10/12/2012 1:42:31 PM

NorfolkSub69

Posts: 10
Joined: 10/12/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TallullahHk

What HillWilliam said...get out and meet real people who are not married. IMO you can't have an authentic D/s relationship online because, well, it's just not real.

I guess it depends on what you deem 'authentic' every relationship is different and everyone has different expectations, so there will be those who say your relationships are not 'authentic' too.

(in reply to TallullahHk)

Post #: 10

RE: Moving on.......... - 10/12/2012 1:45:51 PM

Kat713

Posts: 134
Joined: 8/31/2008
Status: offline

You know what, everyone makes mistakes or should I say, not the smartest choices. And yeah, sometimes you just need someone to say it/lay it out for you. I know sometimes you want to be owned, want to belong, and it's hard to be by yourself sometimes. But sometimes it is better to be alone than with the wrong person. Good for you and good luck with finding a relationship that satisfies you on all levels!

(in reply to NorfolkSub69)

Post #: 11

RE: Moving on.......... - 10/12/2012 1:49:37 PM

NorfolkSub69

Posts: 10
Joined: 10/12/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kat713

You know what, everyone makes mistakes or should I say, not the smartest choices. And yeah, sometimes you just need someone to say it/lay it out for you. I know sometimes you want to be owned, want to belong, and it's hard to be by yourself sometimes. But sometimes it is better to be alone than with the wrong person. Good for you and good luck with finding a relationship that satisfies you on all levels!

Thanks for your support, I've set the process in motion and I'm feeling a bit sick but determined, I know everything will come together eventually.

(in reply to Kat713)

Post #: 12

RE: Moving on.......... - 10/12/2012 1:52:02 PM

myotherself

Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline

I can tell you from personal experience that cyber relationships and real life relationships are very, very different.

In cyber relationships you have the opportunity to fill in the gaps with your own fantasies. In real life you don't get to do that.

You've put this lying scumbag* on a pedestal and to be honest, he should not be there.

Do yourself a favour. Dump his cheating ass and go find someone honourable enough to be your Dom/Master.

*assuming his wife doesn't know. Or his other girlfriend](s). If they do know and let him get on with it, substitute *sleazy* for *scumbag*

edited for typo

< Message edited by myotherself -- 10/12/2012 1:53:01 PM >

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk

(in reply to NorfolkSub69)

Post #: 13

RE: Moving on.......... - 10/12/2012 1:55:23 PM

amaidiamond

Posts: 1793
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Watford / London
Status: offline

Many of us get drawn in by online, I have done when I was 18.

As to the not authentic comment, I agree that only those in a relationship can state if it is authentic or not..

What i can tell you is online cyber D/s no matter how intense can ever be anything like real life.

It's like comparing apples and oranges.

_____________________________

Lead me not into temptation... I can find the way all by myself!

(in reply to NorfolkSub69)

Post #: 14

RE: Moving on.......... - 10/12/2012 1:57:14 PM

TallullahHk

Posts: 572
Joined: 8/20/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NorfolkSub69

quote:

ORIGINAL: TallullahHk

What HillWilliam said...get out and meet real people who are not married. IMO you can't have an authentic D/s relationship online because, well, it's just not real.

I guess it depends on what you deem 'authentic' every relationship is different and everyone has different expectations, so there will be those who say your relationships are not 'authentic' too.

Yes, every relationship is different. I choose to carry on with people I can touch. I choose to carry on with people who can beat me in a way that will produce actual visible bruises.

As I said, IMO, cyber relationships in which there is never any face-to-face meeting are not real.

(in reply to NorfolkSub69)

Post #: 15

RE: Moving on.......... - 10/12/2012 1:59:30 PM

NorfolkSub69

Posts: 10
Joined: 10/12/2012
Status: offline

I understand that online and real time are very different, I would never suggest anything different, he has been told and I now class myself as free.

(in reply to amaidiamond)

Post #: 16

RE: Moving on.......... - 10/12/2012 2:01:04 PM

JanahX

Posts: 3443
Joined: 8/21/2010
Status: offline

Well that was quick.

quote:

ORIGINAL: NorfolkSub69

I understand that online and real time are very different, I would never suggest anything different, he has been told and I now class myself as free.

_____________________________

The first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

The second rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

(in reply to NorfolkSub69)

Post #: 17

RE: Moving on.......... - 10/12/2012 2:35:50 PM

NorfolkSub69

Posts: 10
Joined: 10/12/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: JanahX

Well that was quick.

quote:

ORIGINAL: NorfolkSub69

I understand that online and real time are very different, I would never suggest anything different, he has been told and I now class myself as free.

Not really it's been building up for weeks, I just needed the push to complete the task.

(in reply to JanahX)

Post #: 18

RE: Moving on.......... - 10/12/2012 4:15:33 PM

areuhim

Posts: 119
Joined: 7/8/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself

I can tell you from personal experience that cyber relationships and real life relationships are very, very different.

In cyber relationships you have the opportunity to fill in the gaps with your own fantasies. In real life you don't get to do that.

You've put this lying scumbag* on a pedestal and to be honest, he should not be there.

Do yourself a favour. Dump his cheating ass and go find someone honourable enough to be your Dom/Master.

*assuming his wife doesn't know. Or his other girlfriend](s). If they do know and let him get on with it, substitute *sleazy* for *scumbag*

edited for typo

Highlighted in red because the advice is so very good!

_____________________________

“Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.”
― Dr. Seuss

“I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living.”
― Dr. Seuss

(in reply to myotherself)

Post #: 19

RE: Moving on.......... - 10/12/2012 4:18:58 PM

kiwisub12

Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline

The trouble is, is that if he is less than honorable for playing with her, then what does that make her?

Seems that there is some personable accountability, and integrity to be rebuilt.....

(in reply to areuhim)

Post #: 20

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