What do subs here expect when they live 2000 miles away?

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What do subs here expect when they live 2000 miles away? - 10/13/2012 3:20:45 AM

LadyNeith

Posts: 15
Joined: 10/11/2012
Status: offline

As a new member here, it seems like I'm getting the new bitch on the block attention, which I understand, but it seems to be that people have no consideration for location. What do these subs expect when they live so far away? Camdom?

Maybe I'm too old-fashioned, but how can service, worship, control and compliance be met through such great distance?

If you have experienced this please share. I'm here to learn not judge, and I'm trying to understand how this works.

Post #: 1

RE: What do subs here expect when they live 2000 miles ... - 10/13/2012 3:25:35 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

Bluntly. get used to idiocy.

90+% of the men that will contact you have been fueled by porn and, despite your newness, understand less about the lifestyle than you.

A lot of men want online because they don't have chunks of time, since they are married to an unknowing wife.

And some are afraid to step out from their computer.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to LadyNeith)

Post #: 2

RE: What do subs here expect when they live 2000 miles ... - 10/13/2012 3:27:15 AM

masmiss

Posts: 494
Joined: 2/16/2009
From: New Jersey
Status: offline

I'm not going to knock long distance relationships because some people actually make it work. For the most part, the men who live thousands of miles away and contact you are simply looking for wank fodder. Case in point: yesterday I received a message from a "sub" who wanted to dance naked on cam for me. I declined. He didn't understand because "isn't that what femdom is all about?".

_____________________________

I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

-William Ernest Henley

(in reply to LadyNeith)

Post #: 3

RE: What do subs here expect when they live 2000 miles ... - 10/13/2012 4:38:05 AM

Killerangel

Posts: 1169
Joined: 8/3/2010
Status: offline

Gear up for the onslaught. Women here are inundated by men who write any female user name regardless of petty things like location, orientation, and what those women list for preferences. Men tend to think if you're on this site then you must want their attention, because they want yours. They don't care about small details like location, they're not thinking much past the wank they're having at the time.

(in reply to LadyNeith)

Post #: 4

RE: What do subs here expect when they live 2000 miles ... - 10/13/2012 4:53:12 AM

AthenaSurrenders

Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline

fast reply

I agree with all of the above.

I've been in a long distance relationship, we are originally from other continents. Though we didn't start out with this intention towards the end when we were planning to be together there was some degree of long-distance dom/sub going on, but it mostly related to sorting out our lives together. So there may be a few people out there who are genuinely willing to overlook distance in order to find 'the one' and make it work.

That said, 99.9% will be looking for wank fodder, either as a one off 'tell me how you would dominate me' or as a regular online thing where they hope you will 'make' them stick things up their bum on camera and let them see your boobs. Some will be married, some will not be interested in a proper relationship, some will be too socially clueless to have a shot at a relationship. Many will spam every female probably without even looking at your location or your profile text. They will let you know if you are not a 'real' domme, ie. you didn't get them off exactly as they wanted.

You'll get some of this for as long as you are on the site, by virtue of the fact that female dominants are relatively rare and male subs and wankers are abundant. Luckily it will die down somewhat after you come off the newly joined list.

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to Killerangel)

Post #: 5

RE: What do subs here expect when they live 2000 miles ... - 10/13/2012 9:40:48 AM

myotherself

Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline

I'm a masochist, and I lost count of how many 'doms' messaged me from other countries, insisting they could be sadistic online

Trust me, spanking yourself with a hairbrush is nowhere near the same as a guy doing it to you!

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk

(in reply to LadyNeith)

Post #: 6

RE: What do subs here expect when they live 2000 miles ... - 10/13/2012 9:52:13 AM

RemoteUser

Posts: 2854
Joined: 5/10/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself

Trust me, spanking yourself with a hairbrush is nowhere near the same as a guy doing it to you!

(You hit like a girl, durr.)

My girl lives about 1,879 miles away from me at the moment (give or take). I am happy to confirm that LD does work.

That said, OP, if a lot of messages are sent your way asking for sex, they will have to be extraordinarily endowed. If you find a sub that's interesting and inspires you (as you seem to desire from your profile) then you can enforce nonsexual compliance with little to no difficulty. It depends on what you want. I get the sense that you are more of a touchy-feely grabby-slappy kind of lady. For that, you should absolutely look locally (through munches or otherwise).

Best of luck.

_____________________________

There is nothing worse than being right. Instead of being right, then, try to be open. It is more difficult, and more rewarding.

(in reply to myotherself)

Post #: 7

RE: What do subs here expect when they live 2000 miles ... - 10/13/2012 11:27:59 AM

Alecta

Posts: 1355
Joined: 1/19/2010
Status: offline

There are idiots abound. If you don't want to consider long distance bluntly say "local only" and ignore protesters.

(in reply to LadyNeith)

Post #: 8

RE: What do subs here expect when they live 2000 miles ... - 10/13/2012 12:18:10 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

It could be they want to develop a relationship with you and eventually one of you moves to the other. Some people have a life where they can easily do so. When I met Master we lived 3 hours apart (I know, not much) but I had a child still in school. We visited when we could but I couldn't move for at least 5 years. Master waited it out and we continued long distance until last year when I moved to him. It was actually easier for me and I was going to move anyway after my daughter graduated high school.

Some others can do the same thing. For some the distance just isn't that big a deal. For some it's impossible. It just depends on the person. We have couples here who lived on opposite continents and today are either married or living together happily. It can happen.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to LadyNeith)

Post #: 9

RE: What do subs here expect when they live 2000 miles ... - 10/13/2012 12:31:33 PM

TieMeInKnottss

Posts: 1944
Joined: 9/6/2012
Status: offline

The mail controls on here are fantastic...use them! They allow you to send messages from out of state or out of country to your "bulk" or spam box. Even with these controls one or two will get by but it does help reduce the onslaught. Positive side, I was never so popular or got such an ego boost (hey I am over 40, have had 2 kids, been asked if I remember George Washington as president, and am now starting stories with "when I was young").

(in reply to LadyNeith)

Post #: 10

RE: What do subs here expect when they live 2000 miles ... - 10/13/2012 3:53:13 PM

Duskypearls

Posts: 3561
Joined: 8/21/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Killerangel

Gear up for the onslaught. Women here are inundated by men who write any female user name regardless of petty things like location, orientation, and what those women list for preferences. Men tend to think if you're on this site then you must want their attention, because they want yours. They don't care about small details like location, they're not thinking much past the wank they're having at the time.

K, you did a fantastic job of summing up, for women/subs, the perversities of medium succinctly.

(in reply to Killerangel)

Post #: 11

RE: What do subs here expect when they live 2000 miles ... - 10/13/2012 5:52:05 PM

sub4use59

Posts: 1
Joined: 10/13/2012
Status: offline

I live in Plattsburgh...I will visit you when u order me too

Attachment (1)

(in reply to LadyNeith)

Post #: 12

RE: What do subs here expect when they live 2000 miles ... - 10/13/2012 6:23:08 PM

NiceButMeanGirl

Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline

I have to admit that a long-distance relationship is harder to maintain than one that's in-person much more of the time. My sub is approximately 1300 miles from me and we see each other in person every two to three months for a few days. But he's planning on moving down here when he retires in about five years. I'm willing to wait it out.

Service, worship, control and compliance are admittedly much harder to achieve, let alone maintain, from that far away. You can only have so much control when you're not together, it's more a case of whether they want to comply. Although, I did manage to assert my dominance successfully finally over 1300 miles and he got something done for me....when I gave him an ultimatum. But still, it was quite satisfying when it worked.

NBMG

_____________________________

I'm now SweetlySadistic1 on CollarSpace. NBMG is an old profile, please see my new one.

(in reply to LadyNeith)

Post #: 13

RE: What do subs here expect when they live 2000 miles ... - 10/13/2012 6:31:18 PM

BoundSlave4Life

Posts: 116
Joined: 7/25/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyNeith

As a new member here, it seems like I'm getting the new bitch on the block attention, which I understand, but it seems to be that people have no consideration for location. What do these subs expect when they live so far away? Camdom?

Maybe I'm too old-fashioned, but how can service, worship, control and compliance be met through such great distance?

If you have experienced this please share. I'm here to learn not judge, and I'm trying to understand how this works.

Firstly -- Welcome to CollarMe. Most of the people here make this site a Cesspool, though there are some good people few and far between.
Secondly -- Be on the look out for scammers. Many of them will try and have you pay a "Relocation" thing but you'll never see them. There IS another sort of scammer. "I've been hearing that you're really a man. You need to get on Webcam and prove that you're not a man or your profile will be deleted" or something like that. Just say "I'll be more than happy to get on Cam if you get on cam first". They won't respond.
Third -- Glad to see that you have a head on your shoulders about something so common sense... Though Common Sense is so rare it should be a super power.

Good luck!

(in reply to LadyNeith)

Post #: 14

RE: What do subs here expect when they live 2000 miles ... - 10/13/2012 6:34:38 PM

Hillwilliam

Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline

LadyNeith. Welcome to this side of CM. Try googling munchgroups <insert your city>
I bet no matter how far back in the sticks you are, there will be kinksters around who meet once a month in a vanilla setting.
The bonus is that these people are real flesh and blood types who live nearby.

_____________________________

Kinkier than a cheap garden hose.

Whoever said "Religion is the opiate of the masses" never heard Right Wing talk radio.

Don't blame me, I voted for Gary Johnson.

(in reply to BoundSlave4Life)

Post #: 15

RE: What do subs here expect when they live 2000 miles ... - 10/14/2012 8:51:31 PM

Titaniya

Posts: 85
Joined: 9/9/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TieMeInKnottss

The mail controls on here are fantastic...use them! They allow you to send messages from out of state or out of country to your "bulk" or spam box. Even with these controls one or two will get by but it does help reduce the onslaught. Positive side, I was never so popular or got such an ego boost (hey I am over 40, have had 2 kids, been asked if I remember George Washington as president, and am now starting stories with "when I was young").

I don't really like using bulk folders... I get a lot of bullshit, but at the same time, if a dominant on another continent who's out of my age range wants to talk to me as an equal about a shared interest, I want to be able to have that interaction. I can still wonder why someone with similar demographics thinks I want them to order me around on camera. ;)

< Message edited by Titaniya -- 10/14/2012 8:58:52 PM >

(in reply to TieMeInKnottss)

Post #: 16

RE: What do subs here expect when they live 2000 miles ... - 10/14/2012 11:31:49 PM

Shininglight23

Posts: 1336
Status: offline

FR

I was in a very successful long distance relationship (3,000 miles apart)... There are quite a few success stories on this side of CM where long distance worked out. Communication, understanding, and loyalty (imo) are make or break things in long distance.

If that is not what you're looking for...then you can (as others suggested) use the mail controls and avoid all that cmail.

Whatever you choose...however you take our advice on this topic... I wish you luck in what you seek.

Allie

_____________________________

Membership Co-ordinator, ProSubs"R"Us

Lead with love, live with love, leave with love.

(in reply to Titaniya)

Post #: 17

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