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Aswad -> RE: Bullying? (10/24/2012 1:55:11 AM)
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The so-far most effective approach to deal with bullying in my school district was pioneered by Ø. Bjørndal, a teacher from around these parts, so, I will very loosely translate an op-ed piece about it from a local paper.
Note that this was (is?) a man that chose to become a teacher because he knew he had a responsibility to the rest of us to impart those life lessons that some parents fail to, and to ensure academic excellence. A man with a background in the navy and as a boxer in his younger years. A man that, on shore leave during the US Civil Rights movement, not only sat in the black seats of the segregated buses as a show of solidarity, but defiantly told the police where to shove it when they came to order him into a white seat, earning him a beating and an arrest, neither of which deterred him, instead reinforcing what he knew all along: that it wasn't right. And doing the right thing mattered to him. Deeply so.
This, then, is my poor rendition of a story by someone that knew this man far better than I.
Here goes:
quote:
There's a knock on the door of the 9B auditorium. They're about halfway through a language class. Outside, the main teacher. When they see him, they stand up straight. He has that effect on people†. They realize there has to be an important reason why he's interrupting another teacher's courses.
«I'll be speaking with Aaron, Peter, Lisa, Ingrid, Gary and Tina. Join me in the conference room right away.»
The named students exchange puzzled looks, get up and leave the class.
«Be seated,» the main teacher says as they enter the conference room, «and listen closely.»
«Elsa wasn't in school yesterday. Nor today. She's at home. She's too upset to turn up. I just got off the phone with her mother, who tells me she's been like this the whole semester.» The students look from the teacher to each other and back. This isn't news to them. «Elsa isn't turning up, because she can't handle being here. She hates it.» he says, «This is your responsibility.»
«Us? But we've never...» Lisa starts, but is quickly cut off.
«No, no... none of you have been bullying Elsa. You're not the ones making fun of her in class, pushing her around, mocking her appearance and so forth. That's Ron and Edgar. No, your fault lies with not doing anything to stop it. The one thing you all have in common is that you're the most respected pupils in the class, whether for your athletics, your grades or just your popularity. There are none more powerful than you in that class. But you choose only to bask in it, when you could use it to stop Elsa from being bullied by those that need someone weaker than themselves to pick on. You don't use it to secure her a place in this class.» he says, «It's pathetic, really, and I'm disappointed in you.»
The students avert their eyes, uneasy now.
«I expect you to behave responsibly. Starting now.» he says, pounding the table for emphasis, «I want the six of you to sort things out and put a stop to this. And you'll do so without telling anyone about this conversation. It stays between us, and may the gods have mercy on your souls if I hear so much of a peep of this outside this room.»
A few days later, in a class, Edgar has pushed a weak teacher into having Elsa read a piece for the class. She's blushing furously and stuttering, unable to say a word. Ron laughs out loud while shaking his head. Then Aaron, the number one jock in the class, gets up. Turns around, pointing at Ron. «You, fuckwit! You shut your trap. We clear?»
Ron shuts up good. He's got the message, in words he can understand, by an authority he can relate to.
The small group of pupils from the conference room never talked about their encounter with a man they respected and listened to. They just try to influence things where they can. The pressure on Elsa diminishes, bit by bit, but the pupils aren't particularly proud. The rest of their lives, they wish they'd shouldered their share of the burden sooner.
I know this, because I was in the conference room that day. I sat there and listened to a now legendary teacher that the whole class respected deeply and sincerely, as he awakened us to our responsibilities after that semester of neglect on our part. I've thought about it many times since, the method. Simple, yet surprisingly effective. You don't easily forget such a reminder, and it does something about how you view responsibility the rest of your life.
Elsa may thank him that her burden diminished over time. But those of us in that room may well have even greater cause to thank him.
And, just so we're clear, his classes, in all subjects, consistently scored the best in the nation on the grade calibration tests.
You could do worse than entrusting your kids to this man, or becoming him.
Except for his politics, anyway. [:D]
IWYW,
— Aswad.
† He most certainly does have that effect on people.
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