The "Death" Of Your Dating Life... (Full Version)

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Anaxagoras -> The "Death" Of Your Dating Life... (10/13/2012 6:17:00 PM)

We've heard a lot about the pop-up advert so is anyone a bit pissed (or pleased) at the insulting/patronising (or useful) content of the large advert that greets one after logging off - not that its a criticism of CM making some dosh? [:)]

quote:

The "Death" Of Your Dating Life...
And Why That's GOOD News!

"Do you really NEED to go on dates in order to sleep with beautiful women?"

You know what I'm talking about: You wine her, you dine her. Because that's what we guys are taught to do. On the date, you think things are going well, but hey, you never know. She could just be acting polite. Then, as the date comes to an end, you wonder what you should do...

"Should I kiss her? Should I invite her back to my place for a drink?" The thoughts race through your head.

Then, still a little bit unsure, she drops the hint — that she should be getting home soon. So you take her back to her place, walk her up to the door, and there's that awkward moment, right before she gives you a quick hug and kiss on the cheek.

"Damn! I screwed up," you think. But the truth is that you did NOT do anything wrong. Not at all.

And that's because the whole process is rigged against you. Traditional dating — which almost always ends exactly like I just described — is like walking into a casino and playing against a stacked deck.

You can't win — you never will. And you need to stop trying, just like I did.

Frankly, I didn't start getting laid until I STOPPED dating — and in fact, I got so good at bringing women back to my place (without ever taking them out on a formal date) that Dr. Phil, the Today Show and a bunch of newspapers and magazines begged to interview me or have me on their show.

And now, I'd like to share my secret with you. So that you too can stop taking women out, wasting all kinds of time and money, and getting nothing in return. I've created a special video where I explain everything — and it's free:

Click Here to See My VERY Unusual Method for Attracting Women



DNAHelicase -> RE: The "Death" Of Your Dating Life... (10/13/2012 8:50:14 PM)

*groan* This kind of shit is part of why there are so many douchebags. I'm sure that whatever sleazy website that ad leads to is telling men to do all the things that women on these forums tell men NOT to do.



Kaliko -> RE: The "Death" Of Your Dating Life... (10/13/2012 11:19:46 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DNAHelicase

*groan* This kind of shit is part of why there are so many douchebags. I'm sure that whatever sleazy website that ad leads to is telling men to do all the things that women on these forums tell men NOT to do.



Mmm....I don't know what website that leads to, so I'm not defending it in any way, but....I'm not so sure that what women say not to do in these forums is quite the best advice, either.



Kana -> RE: The "Death" Of Your Dating Life... (10/14/2012 12:23:28 AM)

Hmmm, I've almost never viewed time with a woman as "'wasting money."
I get to spend a few hours with a beautiful woman, get to know her better, and even if things don't click romantically, maybe end up with a new friend. If nothing else, I enjoy the diversity of personalities and the exchange of ideas that emerge.
But then again, maybe because I don't consider getting laid as the only point of a date, I've done really well in my life

Naaaaaah, couldn't be :-)



descrite -> RE: The "Death" Of Your Dating Life... (10/14/2012 3:25:50 AM)

quote:

Hmmm, I've almost never viewed time with a woman as "'wasting money."



You should have been on my last SubHunt, then, just so you could have the experience.

This was our third scheduled first-date; she had to cancel the first two scheduled evenings at the last-minute. So she was late, when she did show.

Didn't look a thing like her photo; but tweakers should up strange on film-- they seem...human.

Conversation-- she told me all about how her family situation would make Jerry Springer somewhat hesitant to meet them. She told me about all her bad choices (which she continued to live with). She is still married to her "ex."

I couldn't wait to get the check, get to my truck, and get home.







DarkSteven -> RE: The "Death" Of Your Dating Life... (10/14/2012 3:50:56 AM)

Fascinating. The premises are

1. The only purpose of dating is to get laid. (Vanilla, even. No kink. What kind of idiot goes to a kink site to try for vanilla?)
2. Dating is a waste of good money.

If you look at the possibility of relationships, then dates are the process of vetting people - are they compatible?




DaddySatyr -> RE: The "Death" Of Your Dating Life... (10/14/2012 4:03:13 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kaliko
quote:

ORIGINAL: DNAHelicase
*groan* This kind of shit is part of why there are so many douchebags. I'm sure that whatever sleazy website that ad leads to is telling men to do all the things that women on these forums tell men NOT to do.

Mmm....I don't know what website that leads to, so I'm not defending it in any way, but....I'm not so sure that what women say not to do in these forums is quite the best advice, either.


^^^^^^

I would add that I am not the most romantic guy on the planet but something about the dehumanization of "interweb relationships" is troubling to me.

Now, the "cam girls" that that advertisement leads you to are, essentially, whores and I have always believed that there is some little niche place for whores in our societies. There are some people for whom these kind of women are the only option. I have no issue with that and I try not to judge.

For me, I find that "shopping" for ladies online on a site like this one is okay in that, on those rare occasions when one stumbles accross an honest proifile, you have a pretty good idea of some basics. These basics will help give you some ideas for conversation starters when you're actually out on your date.

I know. That sounds kind of negative so let me add: There is no doubt in my mind that if you are able to find a person who is open and honest and you, yourself are open and honest with them, very strong attachments can develop and I believe you could even fall in love. However, for me, that cannot be the "finish line" of a relationship. To continue the analogy: it should be the pits, right before the first green flag.



Peace and comfort,



Michael



Anaxagoras -> RE: The "Death" Of Your Dating Life... (10/14/2012 4:57:10 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kaliko
quote:

ORIGINAL: DNAHelicase
*groan* This kind of shit is part of why there are so many douchebags. I'm sure that whatever sleazy website that ad leads to is telling men to do all the things that women on these forums tell men NOT to do.

Mmm....I don't know what website that leads to, so I'm not defending it in any way, but....I'm not so sure that what women say not to do in these forums is quite the best advice, either.

I didn't bother looking at the website either but the text rather funny as it taps into some truth but exaggerates it to caricature. It reminded me of Rousseau, who said courtship was a tyranny but he was actually talking about 18th Century France. I agree as well that some of the advice from some women on CM can be a little ahem... "suspect". [8D]



sarahcupcake -> RE: The "Death" Of Your Dating Life... (10/14/2012 5:13:10 AM)

i've never seen the ad personally. but i think it's pretty obvious. sleeping around is for selfish shallow or silly ppl. everyone wants someone to love and look after, and everyone wants in some way to be loved and looked after too.

you just have to be the best you possibly can be and that means not sitting around waiting for anyone or for "something to happen", not expecting or demanding stuff of life and other ppl but getting out there, doing things which are fun and interesting, looking after yourself and by that i mean being happy and (because it makes you happy) helping other ppl to be happy. only then will everyone else see you shining as a light in the dark



pyschosubmission -> RE: The "Death" Of Your Dating Life... (10/14/2012 6:41:50 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Fascinating. The premises are

1. The only purpose of dating is to get laid. (Vanilla, even. No kink. What kind of idiot goes to a kink site to try for vanilla?)
2. Dating is a waste of good money.

If you look at the possibility of relationships, then dates are the process of vetting people - are they compatible?





$10 says the "unusual method" is visit a prostitute



Anaxagoras -> RE: The "Death" Of Your Dating Life... (10/14/2012 6:57:51 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: pyschosubmission
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven
Fascinating. The premises are

1. The only purpose of dating is to get laid. (Vanilla, even. No kink. What kind of idiot goes to a kink site to try for vanilla?)
2. Dating is a waste of good money.

If you look at the possibility of relationships, then dates are the process of vetting people - are they compatible?

$10 says the "unusual method" is visit a prostitute

Sadly $10 wouldn't get one very far with a lady of the night these days. That reminds me of my initial response to the opening line of the ad: "Do you really NEED to go on dates in order to sleep with beautiful women?" - Hell no, you can always go down to the Red Light District! [:D]



Kana -> RE: The "Death" Of Your Dating Life... (10/14/2012 8:44:09 AM)

quote:

You should have been on my last SubHunt


See, right there-that's the difference. I meet women to get to know em, maybe something will come out of it, maybe not. But I'm not out there cruising like a destroying trawling for enemy subs (Heeheehee).
Because of that I seem to do a lot better than most folk. Especially when it's come to meeting gals on here.
Now maybe my attitude towards this is skewed, I know enough chicks that I can get laid pretty much whenever I want and I've knocked around the scene long enough to be a known player-in other words when I want someone to beat, I don't have to look to far or hard. That takes a lot of the pressure off, because I'm not desperate at all.
But I think in general my success is rooted in the fact that I don't see women as ends intended to slake my thirst, but as a means-not as a set of holes that exists only for me to fuck and torment (That stage come later-chortles) but rather as autonomous entities unto themselves, as independent, viable people who deserve to be treated as such, with respect and dignity just like anyone else.

When I ask approach a gal, ask her out, when I take her on a date, I'm not looking at her as a sex object intended to be a cumdump. I'm seeing someone who may be neat and may be fun, but may also just be a friend or someone who it's cool to bounce emails off of, get to know a bit.
But I ain't out there looking at her as a piece of meat.

And yeah, I've had my share of bad dates. I've met women who look nothing like their pic, or are just plain nuts.
But even then I see those as learning experiences. I start looking for red flags, things that should have alerted me-because, you know, often the power of a negative example far outweighs that of a positive one.

And that attitude, it's worked out well, both here and nilla.
I've dated Playmates, an NFL cheerleader, Victoria Secrets models, Budweiser poster girls. The first gal I ever met from here had been a prosub in the Big Apple and did shoots for Insex and Kink. I've met doctors, lawyers, CFO's. Also housewives,poets, secretaries,artists, actresses, escorts, porn stars, crime scene techs and courthouse workers (Hi lilone!) from here since.
Some worked out. Most, for a variety of reasons, didn't.
But I learned something from each and every one of them
And I'm no rich cat, and I ain't good looking at all(To quote Perry-"I am skin and bones, I am pointy nose , But it motherfuckin' makes me try"). I don't have a nice car or uber snazzy clothes or a bling house, and I got no game at all. But I do know how to treat a gal, and more importantly, approach her,and that seems to make all the difference.

One of Kana's rules of thumbs
Once is an accident, two times is a coincidence, thrice and it's time to take a look in the mirror, see where the problem really is...and it may be as simple as a broken picker. But I doubt it.



Kana -> RE: The "Death" Of Your Dating Life... (10/14/2012 8:48:30 AM)

And oh yeah, never ever meet a gal for a dinner on a first date. Way to much pressure. Way to locked in time wise. Make it coffee,. That way of things don't click for either of you, it's easy to drink quick and duck out. . You hungry?"And if you hit it off, it always leaves the option of, "Hey, I know this great place to eat right down the street



ChatteParfaitt -> RE: The "Death" Of Your Dating Life... (10/14/2012 9:13:39 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: descrite



You should have been on my last SubHunt, then, just so you could have the experience.

This was our third scheduled first-date; she had to cancel the first two scheduled evenings at the last-minute. So she was late, when she did show.

Didn't look a thing like her photo; but tweakers should up strange on film-- they seem...human.

Conversation-- she told me all about how her family situation would make Jerry Springer somewhat hesitant to meet them. She told me about all her bad choices (which she continued to live with). She is still married to her "ex."

I couldn't wait to get the check, get to my truck, and get home.



Why does this not surprise me?

You come across as someone who's in love with this image of himself as a dominant, in other words, in love with the fantasy. It does not surprise me in the least that you fall for people who present as a submissive fantasy.

Fantasies don't last long though, do they?

In my never humble opinion, you'd do well to stop imagining yourself as a dominant and start actually being one, if you can.

No, this isn't a challenge. It's a suggestion.



sexyred1 -> RE: The "Death" Of Your Dating Life... (10/14/2012 9:21:41 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: descrite

quote:

Hmmm, I've almost never viewed time with a woman as "'wasting money."



You should have been on my last SubHunt, then, just so you could have the experience.

This was our third scheduled first-date; she had to cancel the first two scheduled evenings at the last-minute. So she was late, when she did show.

Didn't look a thing like her photo; but tweakers should up strange on film-- they seem...human.

Conversation-- she told me all about how her family situation would make Jerry Springer somewhat hesitant to meet them. She told me about all her bad choices (which she continued to live with). She is still married to her "ex."

I couldn't wait to get the check, get to my truck, and get home.







Perhaps your words SubHunt are the problem right there.

Read the esteemed Kana's post; maybe you will glean something valuable.



descrite -> RE: The "Death" Of Your Dating Life... (10/14/2012 11:02:08 AM)

quote:

And yeah, I've had my share of bad dates. I've met women who look nothing like their pic, or are just plain nuts.
But even then I see those as learning experiences. I start looking for red flags, things that should have alerted me-because, you know, often the power of a negative example far outweighs that of a positive one.



Oh, yes, for sure.

Which is what the date is for. By the time we got to that point, we've already decided we have enough between us to be compatible-- the date is to find disqualifiers (physical chemistry, flat out lies, etc.). Way, way before the IRL, we've built the rapport online and on the phone. The date is for the use of alarm bells. Most contacts don't evolve to the date, because we determine some way that we're not compatiable, and part amicably (or, in the case of the ticket-puncher mentioned in another thread, we leave Crazy Town on separate trains...or I flee, and she stays in Crazy Town-- she has a condo there).

And boy, howdy, did they ring on that last one.

So, agreed-- in that context, it's not a waste of money. I paid a sufficient amount to ensure I did not entangle myself stupidly in something that would only lead to abject misery. Yes. I bought a "Get Out Of Crazy Town" card.

Point taken. Well put.

Also, good call with the "Start with the drink, not dinner." I flip back and forth on that. Sometimes I just get a feeling that I'd like to spend more time with this woman.

Feelings can be wrong. Which is what the vetting process is for. heh.



Chatte-- thanks? Not sure how that advice can be construed in context. "Don't meet someone for dinner"? "Don't meet someone IRL"? "Only meet non-tweakers for potential subs"? "Be careful of liars and frauds and freaks"?

I'm always glad to learn from others. Do you have anything less esoteric than "Be a Dom," Miss Miyagi? 

sexyred: "SubHunt" is an arcane pop culture reference; it was a 1980s video game. You can juxtapose that with "two people are meeting to see if we want to be play partners; she is a sub, I am a dom." So-- "finding out whether I want her as a sub" morphs into "SubHunt." Capiche?

Actually, in this case, as in most, we'd already decided we want to be partners...the meeting IRL was to determine if there are any reasons not to. Which is why the first rule of any first date is No Sex. No sexual activitiy, at all. This allows us to discuss matters without having that loom over everything, and find out what each other are really like. Also, it gives the opportunity for escape: if one or both are just not attracted to the other, for whatever the reason, there is no pressure to perform. Part company amenably, with no expectations lost.









ChatteParfaitt -> RE: The "Death" Of Your Dating Life... (10/14/2012 12:03:16 PM)

quote:

Do you have anything less esoteric than "Be a Dom," Miss Miyagi? 


Nope. That's my advice to you. You appear to be domineering and controlling and all about the fantasy of it all.

If were an actual dominant, your take on everything that has been said here would be quite different. Now, that's just my opinion, and I'm entitled to it. Just as you're entitled to think you a domly dom man.

But it is quite obvious to some of us that your methods aren't working for you. Your reply (post number five, which I quoted in full above) says reams about you. In that instance, the sub potential sent you a pretty picture, and told you what you wanted to hear (appealed to the fantasy in your head) and you were willing to reschedule with her, not once but twice.

Low and behold, she wasn't what she appeared to be. Yet your entire approach to this dating failure makes no provision for your own extremely poor filtering and choosing methods. One can only assume you were motivated by her picture and some pretty words and let them sway you, so not domly.


But feel free to contradict me now and tell us you were motivated by her intellect.










Kana -> RE: The "Death" Of Your Dating Life... (10/14/2012 12:13:17 PM)

Hehehe, she said "Reams", Beavis



descrite -> RE: The "Death" Of Your Dating Life... (10/14/2012 12:41:00 PM)

quote:

Low and behold, she wasn't what she appeared to be. Yet your entire approach to this dating failure makes no provision for your own extremely poor filtering and choosing methods. One can only assume you were motivated by her picture and some pretty words and let them sway you, so not domly.


No, you're right. That's absolutely true: I did give her the benefit of the doubt, which did cause me regret.

Honestly, though...I have yet to meet a sub that shows up on time for the first meeting. Indeed-- I have yet to meet a woman who does.

And some of those have turned out just peachy, and are dynamite subs.

I do seek the gems your advice/opinion offer, however...so I might try that approach you suggest. Next time some potential date/sub calls the day of our planned meeting and says, "Oh, I'm so sorry, my kid is sick, can we postpone?" I will harken to your sage wisdom and reply, "No, bitch-- you are not worthy of ever seeing my majestic penis; if you can't supervise your children to the point where they don't get sick the day you have a date, you are not going to be my sub."

Because, honestly...there are so many perfect women in the world. So many whose intellect, appearance, and tastes all dovetail neatly with mine. And they're all battering down my door, because they all love making the first move. I should really just hold out for those.







Anaxagoras -> RE: The "Death" Of Your Dating Life... (10/14/2012 5:20:00 PM)

~FR~

Seems there are a variety of these adverts when one logs off: http://www.collarme.com/loggedout.asp?message=2&bhcp=1 - some are more like essays like the one below...

quote:

Learn How To Meet Any Woman
In 60 Seconds Without Rejection!
By Paul Janka

If you want to meet a woman, you've got to approach...

But the problem for many men is approach anxiety. It's certainly a valid starting point and every guy can relate to seeing that hot girl walk by and feeling the urge to say something, but doing nothing. Chances are if you don't initiate contact she'll slip forever out of your reach. So, it becomes the single most important part of the process because without it, you're not even in the game with her....


When Mr. Janka makes promises about successful sixty second introductions, I hope they come with some sort of a guarantee! [:D]



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