really don't understand

really don't understand (Full Version)

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Somuchmoreinsc -> really don't understand (10/14/2012 7:17:05 AM)
i was told today by a "dom" because of my limits im not ready for a masters world or this lifestyle i don't understand can someone explain please

CRYPTICLXVI -> RE: really don't understand (10/14/2012 7:21:30 AM)
Yes, he is full of bullshit. Your limits are just that, yours...nothing right or wrong about that nor is there anything wrong with the "Dom" living in his own fantasy world. The Sims:BDSM coming out in time for Christmas...

Hillwilliam -> RE: really don't understand (10/14/2012 7:24:09 AM)
What he really meant is that you 2 apparently aren't a good fit and he's all butthurt about it. There are a lot of idiots out there and you just met your first one. Unfortunately, there's more where that one came from. Take your time, get to know people and beware the "online instadom" who sends you someting like "on your knees slut, I own you now" or some similar trash. Ignore em and block em. there's nice folks out there. Just takes a while to find them Welcome

Rochsub2009 -> RE: really don't understand (10/14/2012 7:29:00 AM)
Somuchmoreinsc, Ignore him. There is no such thing as not being ready for this lifestyle. The person who told you that you're not ready is an idiot. Certainly there are different levels of activity within the lifestyle. Some are what we call "edge players". They do things that are a bit more dangerous like knife play, fire play, suspension play, breath play, etc. But that doesn't make them any more legitimate or "ready for the lifestyle" than those who are only into mild spanking. Find what you like, and then do that. Don't worry about what anyone else says. Also, if you were talking to him on-line, try going to a local munch. I believe that meeting real people face-to-face will prove more beneficial to you that talking to random people on the internet. Just Google the words "BDSM munch Your town". Of course, you're not actually going to type "your town". Instead replace that with the name of the town that you live in. Or, if you prefer, you can go to Fetlife.com. They should have listings of groups and activities in your area. Good luck in your search. -Roch

punisher440 -> RE: really don't understand (10/14/2012 7:32:40 AM)
You've ran across another instaDom/weal and twue Dom.In other words they think every sub/slave should instantly fall to their knees,drop every bit of common sense and do every kinky thing he tells them....or the sub/slave is a mere wannabe and not worthy of the Dom's time.In my opinion,every sub/slave has the right to set limits especially in the beginning[some can argue a slave gives up most or all rights once she is owned...but that's a different topic].OP,don't worry about what some random guy on the internet says,a sub/slave has every right to choose who they serve and how they serve.If the Dom/Master is not compatable with your views,then it is time to move on and hopefully one that matches what you seek.

Somuchmoreinsc -> RE: really don't understand (10/14/2012 7:40:34 AM)
thank y'all i didn't believe him just didn't understand where he may have been coming from most dom/masters tell me to add more soft limits for the first few times with someone to keep me safe but again thank y'all no i understand

LillyBoPeep -> RE: really don't understand (10/14/2012 7:42:35 AM)
If that was a random flyby message, more than likely it was intended to get you to "prove yourself," most likely via nekkid cam show or something like that. People use messages like that to bait people into doing all sorts of unreasonable things. Old fashioned peer pressure. You describe yourself as a submissive, and you don't even state that you're looking for an M/s relationship on your profile. So who knows why he had the audacity to say "you're not ready for a Master," other than him just being an idiot. =p

Killerangel -> RE: really don't understand (10/14/2012 8:14:23 AM)
People like to act like there are rules and regulations to this, Im not sure why. Maybe it makes them more comfortable or something, or makes them look more official. Stick to what you feel is right for you and don't let anyone talk you out of it. The most important thing is to look for someone who matches you well, don't worry about the others.

searching4mysir -> RE: really don't understand (10/14/2012 9:32:36 AM)
FR Your hard limits are not all that unusual. I share them, along with scat, breath play, electrical play, bestiality, children, and permanent marks. He is just being a dickblister.

DarkSteven -> RE: really don't understand (10/14/2012 10:12:14 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Somuchmoreinsc i didn't believe him just didn't understand where he may have been coming from Hard to say. Some possibilities: 1. He wanted you and wanted to do something that's a hard limit for you. 2. He was trying to impress you by being emphatic. 3. He was an idiot, plain and simple.

Kana -> RE: really don't understand (10/14/2012 10:38:53 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Somuchmoreinsc i was told today by a "dom" because of my limits im not ready for a masters world or this lifestyle i don't understand can someone explain please Remember, lotsa folk say lotsa shit. Just cuz it's said doesn't mean it's accurate or right. You know who and what you are. Why would you let a complete stranger (And most likely an ass at that) influence that?

DomMeinCT -> RE: really don't understand (10/14/2012 10:42:21 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Somuchmoreinsc i was told today by a "dom" because of my limits im not ready for a masters world or this lifestyle i don't understand can someone explain please Don't spend any mental energy trying to analyze jerks or lunatics; save your energies for the positive ones that might be a good fit for you. [;)] Also, don't forget that you have a "Block" button to avoid having to put up with him in the future.

AnimusRex -> RE: really don't understand (10/14/2012 11:13:18 AM)
"You are not ready for a Dom's world"= "I want someone for diapers/fire play/ fisting/ knife play/ watersports" and yeah, he's all whiny about it. Not attractive qualities in a Dominant, by the way.

AlwaysAlice -> RE: really don't understand (10/14/2012 11:28:27 AM)
It is unfortunate that some BDSM players think that everyone likes what they like, and, when this is not true, try to make it your problem. It is not your problem. As someone who has been in your situation and carried on with a "dom" much longer than she should have, I can tell you that this kind of nonsense is something to be ignored--even if it hurts initially.

OsideGirl -> RE: really don't understand (10/14/2012 11:51:22 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AlwaysAlice It is unfortunate that some BDSM players think that everyone likes what they like, and, when this is not true, try to make it your problem. It is not your problem. That was only your third post on these forums and it was brilliant. She's right: He's butt hurt because you won't do something that he wants to do....and insulted you for saying that you wouldn't.

JanahX -> RE: really don't understand (10/14/2012 11:56:36 AM)
How the hell would he know? As far as I can tell -douchebags arnt Masters/Doms.

Lucifyre -> RE: really don't understand (10/14/2012 12:07:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AnimusRex "You are not ready for a Dom's world"= "I want someone for diapers/fire play/ fisting/ knife play/ watersports" and yeah, he's all whiny about it. Not attractive qualities in a Dominant, by the way. errm...the only unnattractive quality in the above statement is the whineyness. The rest is all about interests and negotiation. That said...I agree with everyone else: Don't let some douchewagon try to tell you what your limits should and should not be. You are ready for whatever it is YOU feel you're ready for and it's not up to anyone else to decide if it's right or wrong. That also extends to once you do find a compatible relationship it is not up to anyone else to decide what you ad your partner should and should not enjoy/do. You run your life they way that's right for you. There are infinitely different flavors od BDSM D/s M/s etc etc and someone that is not included in your very own dynamic doesn't get to make judgements unless you invite them to. Everyone else can go suck rotten cheese. Lucifyre who happens to enjoy fisting dammit

marcellarae -> RE: really don't understand (10/14/2012 12:31:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CRYPTICLXVI Yes, he is full of bullshit. Your limits are just that, yours...nothing right or wrong about that nor is there anything wrong with the "Dom" living in his own fantasy world. The Sims:BDSM coming out in time for Christmas... LMAO! I'd buy that and start playing the game again! lol

angelikaJ -> RE: really don't understand (10/14/2012 12:44:03 PM)
There are people who go out of their way to try and belittle others. Maybe for him that is what domination is. It isn't. You only have to define your limits as you wish and need to. It is okay if you don't have them all figured out yet. Just be very clear about what they are and if you meet someone who tries to dismiss them they are not for you.

NiceButMeanGirl -> RE: really don't understand (10/14/2012 1:33:07 PM)
Somuchmoreinsc, Forget him. He's a total asshat! What he really means when he says that is he's all butthurt because you have a limit against something he wants, so he's throwing a mini tantrum over it. Very attractive in a Dom...NOT. Rather than respecting your limits - which you have every right to have - he is trying to make you feel unworthy. Dont let him!! Hold your head up high and just keep looking. There is someone out there with limits compatible with yours, whatever they are. NBMG

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