RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side"

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (Full Version)

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absolutchocolat -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (11/15/2012 9:55:15 PM)
one of the many that flooded my box after election day: "GO OBAMA HUH???? Awesome if you ask me!!!! What's on your mind tonight? Like to chat on Yahoo or message here at all?"

MysticFireTopaz -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (11/17/2012 11:10:21 AM)
Boy, did this dude ever miss the boat! good looking dom male tall ,in very good physical shape , clean, professional and very discreet. respect all limits seeking a sub female preferably in good physical shape experienced or novice to learn and explore respect your limits.beginners welcome Not only does my profile indicate I'm not currently looking, it also indicates that when I am looking, I seek someone within a 100 miles radius of DFW airport (he's 1,568 miles away), and a sub (he's a dom). When they say people don't read profiles. they aren't kidding!

Spiritedsub2 -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (11/17/2012 5:17:01 PM)
Today's funny one: we should meet No explanation offered, no reason why. We both possess a pulse, one is sub and the other dom. I guess that's all the compatibility we need. Cool; I didn't know it was that easy!

OsideGirl -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (11/17/2012 5:31:30 PM)
I got: "Sorry you were busy the day I was down there" Ummm...dude...I've never talked to you and I'm married, which means that to you I'm always busy.

absolutchocolat -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (11/17/2012 5:49:51 PM)
i got that exact message the other day...thought i was going nuts for a moment!

OsideGirl -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (11/17/2012 5:59:22 PM)
Okay, so that just makes it weirder. Does he not remember who he talked to?

absolutchocolat -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (11/17/2012 6:03:15 PM)
who knows. i'm betting it's just a line he uses to get women to respond.

OsideGirl -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (11/18/2012 11:27:24 AM)
I added a picture of Master to my profile. Some guy emailed me: Why do you have a picture of Bill Goldberg on your profile? Me: That's my Master. Him: You expect me to believe that Bill Goldberg is your Master? [sm=Groaner.gif]

MstSebastian -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (11/18/2012 1:05:15 PM)
Today's winner from the "lying sack of crap" pool! Hello, Sir. I read your profile and I really like what you had to say. I would love to chat more and get to know you, if you are interested. Thank you for your time. "Wow," I thought to myself, "someone who actually read my profile, is articulate, and is polite. Did I just win the lottery?" Nope...guess not. About 6 or 7 emails back and forth later, during which we talked about ourselves, our interests, shared a few laughs at the expense of a mutually-despised series of books about sparkly vampires, and this happened. I had mentioned that my partner read the first of the series of horrid literary homicides about sparkly vampires and I got the following in response: Wait! You have a fucking boyfriend? Dude, fuck you! You cheating sack of shit! I can't believe you would fucking lie to people and claim to be single. What, having one hole to fuck isn't enough for you, you have to lie to submissives so you can get in their ass to? Thought I found an actual decent Dom on this piece of shit site...nope, just another game-playing faggot whose ego is bigger than his balls. Fuck you, shithead! When I tried to point out that he obviously lied about reading my profile, since I clearly state that I am poly and have a primary partner, I realized I was blocked. Gee...what a charmer! [:D]

MstSebastian -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (11/18/2012 1:06:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OsideGirl I added a picture of Master to my profile. Some guy emailed me: Why do you have a picture of Bill Goldberg on your profile? Me: That's my Master. Him: You expect me to believe that Bill Goldberg is your Master? [sm=Groaner.gif] Maybe you should change your SN to "BGoldbergsGirl" now. [;)]

MysticFireTopaz -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (11/18/2012 10:39:33 PM)
This one from a guy young enough to be my son: Serve me, obey my commands, do as I wish and your dreams will be fulfilled. I am looking for a LTR, yes an actual relationship where we can grow together. To physically bind you in ropes and chains will symbolize your binding to my heart while I give you the sweet sting of pleasure you've always wanted. I respect all boundries but will push them as well. My reply: That would be the day hell freezes over, my dear. I suggest you actually read profiles and send your intro letters to someone who might appreciate them. Not only am I not submissive, I am not looking at this time. And when I am looking, it is for someone 40+.

Spiritedsub2 -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (11/19/2012 10:07:54 AM)
Those "masterly" messages from guys whose mothers are younger than me just kill me. Not to derail the thread here, but this morning I got a message that brightened my Monday from a man on the east coast: "You sound lovely. Too bad we're a continent apart!" So I propose an amendment to this thread to include terrific messages that stood out for us.

MstSebastian -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (11/19/2012 11:04:23 PM)
I just got a message from someone, using a sock account, who was trying to troll me. He sent me a long message asserting his "I am man, hear me roar" Alpha-male status...which was just painfully amusing. He ended by calling me a "flaming fruit loop." haha! I love it when guys like that think they are being clever. [:D]

Spiritedsub2 -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (11/20/2012 10:21:10 AM)
Interesting how much time and effort he invested in drafting that message to you! I think he has a crush.

MstSebastian -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (11/20/2012 10:27:08 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Spiritedsub2 Interesting how much time and effort he invested in drafting that message to you! I think he has a crush. Maybe he does. It's been my experience that the guys who go out of their way to overtly assert their masculinity and heterosexuality usually have something they are hiding. [;)]

QueenDelicia1 -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (11/20/2012 10:34:23 AM)
The first message I ever received on CollarMe when I joined, some days ago: "Cunt." [&:] I want that obviously copied and pasted contract from pages ago where the guy from Cairo promised you can opt out of session at any time after death... [:(]

Ninebelowzero -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (11/21/2012 6:45:47 AM)
Her. Are you online pig? Me. Do you take it up the shitter on the first date? Her would you like to? Me. Naaaah

needlesandpins -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (11/21/2012 10:46:02 AM)
just had a message from a 'slave' in America Hello Miss, I want to be your slave and please you, serve you. Can you please spare some time to chat with me? i tell him to read profiles and respect what is there. he said he did read my profile but wanted to know if i could use him on cam or in ms. so i message him back with; if that is what i wanted i'd ask for it. but i state under no circumstances do i want anything from anyone. stop wasting other people's time. it's down right disrespectful! if i did want a slave in any shape or form, why the hell would i choose one who can't follow very simple instructions. his reply has earnt him being reported for threatening/vulgar language, and i blocked him. i really do wonder how these guys can think anyone would take them seriously as slaves when they can't even show respect for a request that is very clearly written. needles

MysticFireTopaz -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (11/21/2012 5:06:58 PM)
The latest batch of winners: Goddess are you now available? May I please worship at your feet goddess? I am new to Tx. I feel lost and empty without a collar around my neck and a higher purpose. Can I please have a chance? It's not about sex for me only servitude and obedience. Thank you slave xxxxx He evidently wasn't gone very long. I remember getting a message from him a few months ago, in which he stated that he lived in Dallas. Hardly new to Texas. Next gem: Him: Hi, I know you're not looking right now. But do you have any Domme friends you could recommend me to? Me: Of course not! Why would I recommend someone I don't know from Adam to a friend? Him: But I'm really a great guy! Me: I'm sure you think you are. Bye now.

ShaharThorne -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (11/23/2012 10:06:48 AM)
A certain Dom that we all know and love "reporting" me for having chicken breasts instead of turkey yesterday for dinner. Brought a smile to my face.

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