RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (Full Version)

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EsotericLady -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (2/4/2013 9:09:03 PM)

I received this last week from a VERY OBESE male:

I'm 33 . Im from kentukcy . Im looking to be taken and made into a full time live in slave . I am married and yes i have kids . But i have a need to be a slave more than i have love for my family. Im a bigger man but i don't let that get in my way . I would be a great slave and i would give you my mind heart body and soul . I want to drop off the earth and never be found by anyone i know ever again . i want to my owner happy and do anything they ask of me ... anything ... please think this over please and message me back if you interested ..




EsotericLady -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (2/4/2013 9:10:09 PM)

And yet today...

hello Mistress how are You?

would You like this obedient puppy slave tied naked by its nuts on a leash to a pole on cam for You?



EsotericLady -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (2/5/2013 12:02:05 PM)

And yet this morning from a 56 year old married male....

"Good morning. I am 56 so if that is too far out of your age range I understand.
Once in a galaxy far far a way there was an intelligent, erudite, demanding Domme. She was tired of the all of the slaves that wanted to do what they wanted and call it submission. She looked high and low and couldn't find one intelligent slave that understood that. Then one day she found this slave and she couldn't believe that he was a slave. he was intelligent and thoughtful and articulate. He enjoyed good conversation but with the raise of an eyebrow or a whisper he understood that Her suggestion was the same as a command. ...."

I'm starting to feel sooooooooooooooooo special in receiving such creative messages! (EXTREME EYEROLL AND LAUGHING)



TNDommeK -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (2/5/2013 3:10:18 PM)

This gem:

"I wanna suck that ass!"

Um, ewww, and hell no.



mnottertail -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (2/5/2013 3:14:53 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: EsotericLady

And yet today...

hello Mistress how are You?

would You like this obedient puppy slave tied naked by its nuts on a leash to a pole on cam for You?


LOL, I gotta make a Domiatrix profile.

Yeah buddy, I got a couple of minutes. whats your moms number?



Duskypearls -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (2/5/2013 3:22:42 PM)

Compared to some of yours, mine is paltry...

"into listening to us fuck? :)?"



Switcheroo1983 -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (2/5/2013 3:25:10 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK

This gem:

"I wanna suck that ass!"

Um, ewww, and hell no.

Now how could you say "no" to such heartfelt, romantic words?



TNDommeK -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (2/5/2013 7:34:05 PM)

It was hard to do. I'm a sucker for poetry.



ARIES83 -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (2/5/2013 7:52:40 PM)

Hmm poetry, how bout...

"Your badonkadonk belongs in my bunk along with
the rest of your junk, so I can slam-dunk my spunk."

That came out really good!
Pick up line gold. [;)]



poise -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (2/5/2013 8:04:39 PM)

[sm=applause.gif][sm=applause.gif][sm=applause.gif][sm=applause.gif][sm=applause.gif][sm=applause.gif][sm=applause.gif][sm=applause.gif][sm=applause.gif][sm=applause.gif][sm=applause.gif][sm=applause.gif]
tosses high end panties to the stage



TNDommeK -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (2/5/2013 11:03:38 PM)

See, now that's what I'm talking about!



OsideGirl -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (2/6/2013 8:55:22 AM)

I got this beauty in response to a forum post:

Hello! I think that you have forgotten just how MANY USERNAMES have been used! I have tried to be kind, politically correct (lol) but found that if I can stick to my true desires (pounding pussy, tying up women, and giving them few options except to orgasm and scream in passionate delight) I have failed in my true aim for even trying to get on these stupidly ordinary websites! Most of the womeen write things that give a guy an instant erection (e.g. I want to be beaten, raped, and humiliated) That was from Bondage Match- I wrote her and got the following, "fuck off, u perv!" So PLEASE, don't judge me for what I say, but rather , think about HOW YOU POST!!!!! You are giving men idea's to utilize your desires, and so they have to follow what you have started! I do not want to cruise for women- I got tired of bars and drunken skanks years ago! I need a gal who is adult, knowledgable in the bedroom, and willing to play in a manner that compliments my own needs and wants! I don't force anyone to meet me, so if you're offended by my style, just skip me!


I think I need a translator, because it doesn't make a whole heck of a lot of sense.



sexyred1 -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (2/9/2013 12:54:32 AM)

Ya know, I cannot sleep and I should be. So instead I am online.

I guess this must be the witching hour on CM because a 35 year old guy wrote me and asked me why I hated him. I told him I don't since I don't know him. He said we have chatted, but I did not recognize him, his profile or his photos.

So, we start to chat and it was getting slightly intriguing from a cerebral standpoint and then, he sends this:

Love to have a gorgeous mommy bitch like you strapped to my crotch...

I told him he ruined a budding relationship by using the word mommy. Oy.



DarkSteven -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (2/9/2013 4:44:36 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

I got this beauty in response to a forum post:

Hello! I think that you have forgotten just how MANY USERNAMES have been used! I have tried to be kind, politically correct (lol) but found that if I can stick to my true desires (pounding pussy, tying up women, and giving them few options except to orgasm and scream in passionate delight) I have failed in my true aim for even trying to get on these stupidly ordinary websites! Most of the womeen write things that give a guy an instant erection (e.g. I want to be beaten, raped, and humiliated) That was from Bondage Match- I wrote her and got the following, "fuck off, u perv!" So PLEASE, don't judge me for what I say, but rather , think about HOW YOU POST!!!!! You are giving men idea's to utilize your desires, and so they have to follow what you have started! I do not want to cruise for women- I got tired of bars and drunken skanks years ago! I need a gal who is adult, knowledgable in the bedroom, and willing to play in a manner that compliments my own needs and wants! I don't force anyone to meet me, so if you're offended by my style, just skip me!


I think I need a translator, because it doesn't make a whole heck of a lot of sense.



Yer wish is my command.

Hello! I think that you have forgotten just how MANY USERNAMES have been used!

Must refer to the forums post you made.

I have tried to be kind, politically correct (lol) but found that if I can stick to my true desires (pounding pussy, tying up women, and giving them few options except to orgasm and scream in passionate delight) I have failed in my true aim for even trying to get on these stupidly ordinary websites!

I have no social skills whatsoever, and expect that women on kink sites are all sluts and enjoy having me speak crudely to them in a first message. I think that I'm noble for being my true, rude self.

Most of the womeen write things that give a guy an instant erection (e.g. I want to be beaten, raped, and humiliated) That was from Bondage Match- I wrote her and got the following, "fuck off, u perv!"

Women want a kink activity. I assume that means they want it with anyone, and don't need a connection of any sort.

So PLEASE, don't judge me for what I say, but rather , think about HOW YOU POST!!!!! You are giving men idea's to utilize your desires, and so they have to follow what you have started! I do not want to cruise for women- I got tired of bars and drunken skanks years ago! I need a gal who is adult, knowledgable in the bedroom, and willing to play in a manner that compliments my own needs and wants! I don't force anyone to meet me, so if you're offended by my style, just skip me!

Basically, a variant of "the way she was dressed, she was asking to be raped." You're on a kink site and said something that made him horny, and he figures you're fair game as a result. Note that he didn't bother to read your profile because you've got "TAKEN" plastered all over it.



DarkSteven -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (2/9/2013 4:47:24 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: EsotericLady

I received this last week from a VERY OBESE male:

I'm 33 . Im from kentukcy . Im looking to be taken and made into a full time live in slave . I am married and yes i have kids . But i have a need to be a slave more than i have love for my family. Im a bigger man but i don't let that get in my way . I would be a great slave and i would give you my mind heart body and soul . I want to drop off the earth and never be found by anyone i know ever again . i want to my owner happy and do anything they ask of me ... anything ... please think this over please and message me back if you interested ..



Sorry to say this, but you're not special. There's a group on fet where posters share exceptionally awful messages and the guy from KY who wants to ditch his family to be a FT slave is mentioned regularly. He's been going for years with no takers and no clue.



OsideGirl -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (2/9/2013 11:27:21 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven



Basically, a variant of "the way she was dressed, she was asking to be raped." You're on a kink site and said something that made him horny, and he figures you're fair game as a result. Note that he didn't bother to read your profile because you've got "TAKEN" plastered all over it.


The email was in response to a forum post where I pretty much called him an idiot.

I was trying figure out the part about how what I post causes erections since I don't put anything provocative in my profile and, while I discuss generalities about our relationship, I don't post the details of our sex life in the forums.



DesFIP -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (2/10/2013 8:57:10 AM)

You're female on a kink site. In his teeny mind, that's all that is required to be provocative.



OsideGirl -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (2/10/2013 9:39:51 AM)

I don't even have a tit pic!



Duskypearls -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (2/12/2013 12:30:31 AM)

The latest two:

into listening to us fuck? :)

and

I am the Lord, I am 28 years old, bdsm'm already 8 years ..I will accept Slave for 247 slevory!!Will take off all your document so you will be nothing in my contry!



Shininglight23 -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (2/12/2013 5:25:24 PM)

This is from FL... but I felt compelled to share it here. This is a 52 year old man who has noooo clue. I don't even understand what he's saying.....

Love to know everything, likes and dislikes. Im brand new to this site and getting my feet wet for the first time. I read different profiles and I say ohhhhhh I want to do that or this, but I like being a daddy and at time maybe finding a mommy. I guess when I took this test I was a switch. Yet, im up for anything for the right person or persons. Would likes friends, but if something developes then it is a bonus.

Allie



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