RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (Full Version)

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LdyViolet -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (1/21/2013 6:32:10 AM)

What a great thread! It's good to see I'm not the only one getting such classy, intelligent and well thought out messages. Although, sadly, most of mine are more pathetic and ignorant than they are funny.



TwoHeartsBeatOne -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (1/21/2013 3:40:15 PM)

I think your, "A day without flaying..." should be added to the euphemisms thread. LOL
quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

In a first letter, she tells me that after reading about me on the forums she has chosen me to "cut her tits off". She has breast cancer and wants them to go out "with glory".

I am so lucky to be chosen for such tasks aren't I? After all, a day without flaying anyone is like a day without sunshine.




EsotericLady -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (1/24/2013 1:47:05 AM)

My latest "intelligent message" to share...and from a Dom, of course:

Him: would you /could you ....turn me?

Me: turn you?

Him: from dom to slave miss

Me: Oh....I'll just snap my fingers and..PRESTO CHANGO!

Are you a slave yet?

Him: wow ..yes I am ....gee thanks! that was awesome! ....I never knew it could be that easy ..lol

Me: Well apparently for "some" people it is..

So.. you don't make a strong enough Dom?

Him: not to a superior woman ...no

Me: Do you have any clue what it means to be a male Doninant?

Him: im not sure anymore miss

I think I'm more confused then he is now! LMAO





sexyred1 -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (1/24/2013 1:43:11 PM)

I just got a lovely message...

Ill be straight forward with you, I care nothing about where you are from or what your occupation is. I dont need to know a single thing about you other than you're an obedient slut. So if you truly want to be a slutty whore you may serve me.';12

I asked him how this intro his working for him and thanked him for the laugh.



CountZer0 -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (1/24/2013 6:10:24 PM)

I had this text from a girl:

'Are you into tickle torture?'

I thought, sure, why not, I guess there is always a first time!

Then she says: 'well if you are, will you write me a story about tickle torture?'

I'm good at writing short stories so I say: Yes I can, give me an hour or so.

'Can you write a tickle torture story about three girls, one student, one pop idol, one fbi agent, wearing high knees nylons, being kidnapped and tickle tortured? Can you make it gore and bloody'?

And that's when I realized I was a guy in disguise on the other side of the web ;)



Spiritedsub2 -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (1/24/2013 7:53:55 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: CountZer0

...I'm good at writing short stories so I say: Yes I can, give me an hour or so.

'Can you write a tickle torture story about three girls, one student, one pop idol, one fbi agent, wearing high knees nylons, being kidnapped and tickle tortured? Can you make it gore and bloody'?

And that's when I realized I was a guy in disguise on the other side of the web ;)


My first thought when I read your post is that a girl needed a short story written for a college writing assignment and was trying to enlist you to write it for her!



CountZer0 -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (1/25/2013 5:53:25 PM)



[/quote]
My first thought when I read your post is that a girl needed a short story written for a college writing assignment and was trying to enlist you to write it for her!
[/quote]


I thought of that too ehehe ;)



jlf1961 -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (1/26/2013 6:38:55 AM)

quote:



jHello...an brittney from carlifornia...single never married....I came across your profile here and I like to know you more....you can get back me on here or yahoo messenger sussanhartfford or yahoo mail [email protected] or text me 209-690-7034 I like to do dirty things with you asap..............


Strangely enough, her profile is rather sparse on any details



ShaharThorne -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (1/26/2013 6:48:17 AM)

Boy, she was forward...I wrote to you and never gave you my number...

BTW, posting numbers is against the TOS...



OsideGirl -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (1/26/2013 9:37:42 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: CountZer0

I had this text from a girl:

'Are you into tickle torture?'

I thought, sure, why not, I guess there is always a first time!

Then she says: 'well if you are, will you write me a story about tickle torture?'

I'm good at writing short stories so I say: Yes I can, give me an hour or so.

'Can you write a tickle torture story about three girls, one student, one pop idol, one fbi agent, wearing high knees nylons, being kidnapped and tickle tortured? Can you make it gore and bloody'?

And that's when I realized I was a guy in disguise on the other side of the web ;)



It took you that long? I realized it was a guy at: 'well if you are, will you write me a story about tickle torture?'



jlf1961 -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (1/26/2013 10:18:58 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ShaharThorne

Boy, she was forward...I wrote to you and never gave you my number...

BTW, posting numbers is against the TOS...



I know that.
You know that.
So, needless to say, I have not responded.



MysticFireTopaz -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (1/26/2013 11:57:58 PM)

When I look at "Who's Viewed Me," the young lady who wrote this message comes up:

hi,

I would love to be Hypnotized by you and turned into your personal toy. interested?

While she viewed my profile, she evidently didn't read it, because she could have anwered her own question and wouldn't have to bother writing. It says I'm not interested in:

* female
* under 40
* more than 100 miles from DFW airport

She's all three, meaning my interest is zilch. She's a cute girl and I'm sure many would be interested, but I'm not one of them.



absolutchocolat -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (1/27/2013 4:45:33 AM)

Oh my lord. This is from FL, but I had to share anyway. I'm in stitches:

I do not want you to mistake Me being direct with Me being rude. I do not care what label you have placed on yourself or the distance that may be between Us. What I do care about is what was on your profile and do not ask Me what that “what” was. I want you to e-mail Me at [redacted]. In that e-mail I want you to put your profile name in the subject header, in the body I want you to put your first name and include a picture of yourself showing your face. Yes this is a cut and paste e-mail, which I will continue to send you. Until you either follow My lead or block Me love. If I could find what I wanted next door I would not be brothering you.

Get this folks...on my profile, it says I am inclined towards dominance. I own slaves. I clearly do not wish to be one of yours. Not to mention, his profile makes him seem bat-shit crazy. What a charmer. [:'(][8|]




OsideGirl -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (1/27/2013 9:12:01 AM)

I vote for "blocked".



absolutchocolat -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (1/27/2013 10:28:15 AM)

He was blocked before I posted.[;)]



Rasnow -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (1/27/2013 10:28:28 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: absolutchocolat
Yes this is a cut and paste e-mail, which I will continue to send you.


Well at least he's honest...



MysticFireTopaz -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (1/29/2013 5:26:33 PM)

I think some people must have a fetish for being repeatedly rejected.

There is a sub who lives in a distant state who first wrote to me a few years ago. He sent me several messages in a row, which I ignored, then he sent one saying that he wanted to come to Dallas to meet me. I viewed his profile and told him that I was only seeking subs local to the Dallas/Fort Worth area, and since he is 1,500 miles away, I was not interested. Not only that, he had a statement in his profile that BBW's were not to his liking, and for them to please not contact him. I pointed out that I clearly state in my profile that I am one, and if it is a problem for you, to please pass me by. I told him that he wrote to me; I would have respected his wishes and never contacted him. He continued to push the issue after I clearly told him I wasn't interested and I ended up blocking him.

Now about every couple months, he creates a new profile, sends me some type of message, then I immediately block him. Though the profile name is different, I can tell it's him by his location, height, weight, age, etc. He acts like it's a new introductory message each time, but surely he must know that I'm on to him since he gets blocked immediately. He tries out different type of wording. This is the one I got last night, which is not one of his more clever ones:

I seek LTR and TPE. simple and easy

The minute I figured out it was him, I blocked him immediately. He has sent me dozens of messages over the years. All I can figure is that he enjoys being repeatedly rejected.



Lynnxz -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (1/30/2013 5:01:49 AM)

I seriously just got a picture of a little boner that was hanging limply out of a hole in some ratty underwear.


Really?



TheLilSquaw -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (1/30/2013 8:45:33 AM)

I was called Tonto the other day, on the other side.
The "dom" was trying to be insulting but all he did was make himself look foolish.



LookieNoNookie -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (1/31/2013 5:17:45 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

A 24 year old sent me an email yesterday saying:

U likey to sucki the cocky?





And?



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