RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (Full Version)

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MysticFireTopaz -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (4/19/2015 10:44:47 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MysticFireTopaz

I finally got the one from the "mosquito" guy:

Ill pay you 800 dollars to take me out were the mosquitoes are the worst and tie me up with no pants on and leave me over night

My reply

You might want to rethink sending that offer to people in my area. This is West Nile virus country and getting intentionally bit by mosquitos around here is not a very good idea



I guess reading comprehension skills are not his strong suit. Here is his reply:

i can do 800 if your not kidding im all for it. Ill come to you for my vacation i can take that any time i like. i have a congo cage for safety its wire cage so the mosquitoes and bitting bugs can get in just put stuff in the cage to make it uncomfortable and maybe put stuff in to make me itch. do you have plants there that will make you itch?.

Does this guy have a death wish or what? I'm giving up on him. I seriously would never do something that would endanger another's life.




DerangedUnit -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (4/19/2015 11:33:21 PM)

Oh I've gotten that one too.... I believe I replied "we don't have mosquitoes here... but if you consider ants ill do it for free"




Delilya -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (4/20/2015 5:20:05 AM)

Welcome to the club Mystic. We got fun now.




DaNewAgeViking -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (4/20/2015 8:15:49 AM)

Tell him 'Sorry, no mosquitos, but we do have alligators'.
[sm=bite.gif]




xTightlylacedx -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (4/21/2015 2:48:28 PM)

We are a few weeks away from blackfly season here. That should cure his mosquito fetish.




WinsomeDefiance -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (4/22/2015 2:22:56 PM)

It isn't funny so much as kinda depressing. A guy wrote me, what I thought was a nicely thought out letter. It was so nice, that I wrote him back to tell him thanks for writing but I wasn't interested in getting involved in a LDR. He wrote back that there was nothing wrong with making friends. I thanked him again but told him I was a lousy pen pal, but wished him well in his search. His answer was to tell me "oh, just look good when I show up to take you out to dinner." (sighs) Oh well, he wasn't hearing me, no reason to keep talking so I left it at that and didnt reply.

This evening, only a few short weeks later I get the same letter in may mail again, you know - that same letter I found so nicely worded and thoughtful which turned out to be a copy and paste job. Apparently he didn't even remember he'd already sent it to me.







WinsomeDefiance -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (4/22/2015 2:37:30 PM)

Oh and on an entirely unrelated email from someone else ....any pseudonym that calls ones self MrHugeTesticles, no matter how cleverly worded, does not conjure any mental images I can't do without. Thank you so very much.




MysticFireTopaz -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (4/26/2015 8:12:22 AM)

Here's the latest gem. So his former owner had to keep a close friend in the house to supervise him until she got home? In other words, a slave that requires a babysitter? Hmmm, doesn't sound very attractive. Also, this is an obvious form letter, he is not at all what I am looking for, and I see that he didn't even view my profile. I'm tempted to write back and say, "If you can't read profiles, this Domme is not for you!" lol.


Salutations and good day to you,

If you are not inclined to read more than a single line then this profile is not for you! If you write a false profile pretending to be what you are not this profile is also not for you! If you are too lazy to write you're own profile but plagiarise mine and pretend its you're own then also take a hike! Grammer police snobs. This profile as undergone more than one spell check already. I am not in any English Language Competition. I realize very few of you are who and what you claim to be but many of you also like to levy critisism that is not warranted so now you get some back in small measure. This profile is meant for the tiny minority of genuine dominant women who may want and need what I offer them.

This message also includes my collarspace profile due to the fact my profile as not been visible since I joined this website and I most certainly have not hidden it myself. I am often copied by plagiarists but seldom equaled in truthful content. What you read and see is what you get. Nothing more and nothing less! I hold duel nationality, American and British and so hold two passports.This explains who and what I am but is not about me it uis about what I offer to a mature of mind Lady are ladies.

MULTI SKILLED SERVILE NONENTITY

Do you seek to be looked after in you're life and also have you're own home looked after also? Please do not waste our time if you have absolutely no legitimate interest whatsoever? I am quite proud of my birthright vocation and of my capability for sustained servitude for the direct benefit of those preordained to have legitimate right of power and control ownership of my servile anatomy. I also wish to make it quite clear that I am a celibate slave by choice and do wear a lockerd chastity restraint which is stainless steel except for when travelling by Air when it is plastic.

This profile will only be of interest to those genuine dominant women who lead busy full time working lives within society. Women who have both the want and need to acquire and own by legal power exchange enactments over one are more subservient lesser mortals for the purpose of domestic servitude within their home and to be regarded has working animal chattels existing for their personal benefit and general wellbeing. This as nothing whatsoever to do with sexual gratification but everything to do with voluntary servitude, loyalty, dedication and obedience to authority. I am a servant and not a a lover, spouse, friend, associate, colleague etcetera and so am set apart from normal society and have a place outside of normal social interaction relationships. My Employer/Adopter can actually consider me as being their own private property that exists to serve and obey them and work long hours for their benefit and comfort. A slave is not and never ever can be on intinate terms with its owner otherwise there is no slavery. A slave is not its owners spouse, lover, friend, collague, associate are any such like, it is its owners actual property and so the owner must always remain aloof from the slave and both must know their true station in life. A slave cannot progress in life because it is property but its owner can progress in life and career as can any other freeborn person. Not everyone can be a slave owner and not everyone can be a slave. It is something distinctive that is deep within the psyche of each and wich is overpowering and necessary for the complete well being of the owner are slave. Real slavery is not part time are live out, that is called occassional submission. real consensual slavery is full time, 24/7, live in.
•I am an experienced birthright vocation servant. I do not do this has a hobby are kink.
•I am a pay my own way servant and that does not imply paying pro domes.
•That means I pay my adopter/guardian for my board and lodging and utility bills.
•I will pay a one off ownership payment of $5000 when legal documents are signed.
•I seek a live in, 24/7 situation where I am paid no salary whatsoever.
•I work variable but usually long hours each day.
•I receive no time off whatsoever because my type of servant gets no vacations.
•I already own my own home which can be rented out for long periods.
•I can and will relocate if required.
•I am a qualified Chef with a Diploma.
•I am a qualified Therapeutic Masseur with a Diploma and practice license.
•I am a qualified Gardener with a Diploma.
•I am a qualified Housekeeper having worked in hotels.
•I am a general handyman with certificates but never formally apprenticed in trades.
•I have been legally subject to voluntary power exchange enactments.
•I have legally consented to my human rights and personal freedom being withdrawn.
•I have signed a voluntary worker agreement with employment rights waiver.
•I have signed a durable power of attorney.
•I have signed one adult adoption agreement.
•I have undergone a legal name change chosen by my adopter/guardian.
•I have been tattooed with a small discreet ownership insignia.
•I was in a power exchange relationship has an owned live in male chattel subject. These legal power exchange enactments were a voluntary worker agreement with employment rights waiver, irrevocable general power of attorney, adult adoption agreement.
•I was in service for 9 years 4 months until my lady owner’s sudden demise.
•I slept a rested in a locked cage at night in the otherwise empty closet space.
•I had to endure prolonged painful disciplinary sessions has required.
•I spend most of my time confined indoors and went out under escort.
•I was required to be completely naked and was shackled doing my housework.
•I visited the doctor and dentist each twice a year under escort.
•I have my own private source of regular income from a legacy which is controlled.
•I wore a locked collar and a locked made to measure chastity restraint device.
•I am adopted by a married couple both now deceased.
•I know nothing of my birth family.
•I deliberately shun making friends so that I can concentrate upon servitude.
•I have my own up to date comprehensive insurance policies.
•I regularly organized and prepared buffet luncheons, dinner and super parties.
•I regularly cooked normal breakfast, luncheon and dinner for my lady owner.
•My lady owner was a commercial lawyer.
•I was treated at all times like owned property and kept under strict control.
•A close personal friend remained in the home supervising me until she got home.
•I have known since early childhood who and what I was but could not act upon it.
•I searched for many years before finding this lady who was very dominant.
•I have always felt ill at ease with freedom it does not suit my personality.
•I feel safer and much more secure in servitude than being in freedom.
•Exposure to freedom actually pollutes my psyche and depletes my submission.
•I thrive upon servitude and it competes me and so makes me feel valued and useful.
•You would have carte-blanche sovereign dominion over me to do has you please.

•I have no preference for single women are lady couples are families, with are without lifestyle oriented children. I have no preference for any sexual orientation, physical handicap, racial origin, religious persuasion, social class.

I seek to be owned by a no nonsense lady who is strict and expects and demands that her power exchange servant be hard working, trouble free, loyal and obedient, a none smoker and drinker and does not take illegal narcotics and who is also celibate. A servile nonentity that knows its place and so keeps its place beneath her authority.

A lady who remains aloof and does not treat her servant has her spouse, lover, friend, and colleague, associate, confident. One who regards her charge has being just working animal in humanoid form. She should also expect an demand that her charge be a credit to her and ensures it never does anything to bring her into ridicule are disrepute so its public and private behaviour must be impeccable at all times has must its standard of servile workmanship.

If you are interested and few ever have been, then I would like to hear from you with a view to being owned in a power exchange enactment arrangement within 4 months are less. No endless online conversations but many meaningful telephone discussions and a meeting occurring has soon has is possible.

All character references an background checks can be done after the initial meeting and such will only be on me not you. I can produce certain proofs at the meeting. No photographs will be sent until trust has been established between us.

I have no preference for single women are lady couples are families, with are without lifestyle oriented children. I have no preference for any sexual orientation, physical handicap, racial origin, religious persuasion, social class.

Once in your power and control I then do exactly has I am told but never before then.

Kind regards,

<name deleted>







RockaRolla -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (4/27/2015 8:20:32 PM)

Just now I get, from some dude in CA:

quote:

Too Fat

nope!


My response: "LOL! As if you were a consideration?"




WinsomeDefiance -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (4/30/2015 5:30:04 PM)

Wow, it has been a long time since I've received a message telling me I'm fat. I just received one today with one word, "fat". I'm not sure, maybe I'm supposed to be playing some word association game?

From someone with his profile hidden. You don't get much braver.




ExiledTyrant -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (4/30/2015 5:44:58 PM)

Fabulous Awesome and a fucking Tease?

Oops... Fabulously Awesome Tease.

Jus sayin




Spiritedsub2 -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (4/30/2015 10:11:05 PM)

Ferocious And Tricky




WinsomeDefiance -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (4/30/2015 11:39:39 PM)

My word association went more like...

FAT....Porskins! ..... foreskins.......circumcision.....penis....




littleladybug -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (5/1/2015 11:28:31 AM)

Good to see you are very open minded and bdsm aware and I liked seeing your depth and hunger in the posting here with a real sense of adventure and strong desires to please and to serve. Although I know nothing about you, I can feel you could be very giving with real needs serving a stronger and more extreme yet caring Master with a very strong and powerful dark and dominant side.

And going on with a frankly quite nice visual about his views on sadism.

I could have gone with the response of "thanks, but no thanks, I'm involved in a relationship", but I went with "yes, but I'm not a masochist".

I'm sure he didn't "feel" that one coming. [:D]




ARIES83 -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (5/2/2015 8:20:13 PM)

These aren't messages but were on a profile I was reading, I thought they were kind of funny...



5/3/2015 9:04:17 AM: I hope the Australian economy crashes hard. Fuck this country and its parasitic rent seekers.
4/12/2015 4:33:46 PM: About ready to leave this cruel planet.
4/11/2015 6:33:10 PM: If you're going to insult me and generally be a hate-filled & intolerant piece of shit, don't be a total pussy about it and block my replies.
4/4/2015 7:31:29 AM: Feeling rather bored of life.
2/27/2015 9:07:20 PM: If I don't respond to you, it's probably because you're too brain-dead and/or illiterate to read my profile properly.


O_o... All that came from a cute little submissive.. A seemingly hate-filled & intolerant one...[sm=biggrin.gif]




WinsomeDefiance -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (5/6/2015 5:43:25 PM)

Apparently someone is creating names just to call me fat then blocks/deletes/hides the profile.
That's a dedication to assinocity that is almost impressive. Kinda sad and pitiful, I feel sorry for them. I can't imagine how that sort of negativity can be good for a person.




tiggerspoohbear -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (5/6/2015 6:05:30 PM)

Assinocity? New word of the day!

That kind of negativity isn't good for anyone. It's what I call "eedjutitis", seems to be spreading like wildfire.




ExiledTyrant -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (5/6/2015 6:26:14 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

Apparently someone is creating names just to call me fat then blocks/deletes/hides the profile.
That's a dedication to assinocity that is almost impressive. Kinda sad and pitiful, I feel sorry for them. I can't imagine how that sort of negativity can be good for a person.


If he only knew that you spent the better part of the day peddling pussy all over the county, he would change his attitude.

Jus sayin




WinsomeDefiance -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (5/6/2015 7:18:53 PM)

[sm=dancer.gif] Eedjuts and pussy peddling. lol love this place.




MissKittyDeVine -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (5/11/2015 1:59:47 AM)

It's been a while since I've had a message worthy of inclusion.

"I've noticed that you like Art. Do you mind if I draw a femdom picture of you fucking my ass with a huge strap-on like a dog while spitting on my face? I'm very good at drawing :)"

He's going to draw me as a contortionist then ...




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