what is it like to be a total slave?

what is it like to be a total slave? (Full Version)

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Somuchmoreinsc -> what is it like to be a total slave? (10/15/2012 6:58:52 PM)
i have made some good friends on here so now i have another question what is it like being a total slave where the master does and controls everything from bathroom use to bath time? just curious thanks for your help

BDSMtortured -> RE: what is it like to be a total slave? (10/15/2012 7:01:37 PM)
nice fantasy only

AnimusRex -> RE: what is it like to be a total slave? (10/15/2012 7:56:19 PM)
I can answer what it is like from the other side of the kneel- namely a total waste of time. Seriously,I have spent short amounts of time with such slaves, and it amounts to being a caretaker for an invalid. "Control" also means "delegate" as in, "you don't need to ask me permission to tinkle- just make sure dinner is ready when I arrive home".

JanahX -> RE: what is it like to be a total slave? (10/15/2012 7:58:43 PM)
I wouldnt have a clue. Sounds like being in prison though. Except that I think you can use the can without permission.

Alecta -> RE: what is it like to be a total slave? (10/15/2012 8:52:52 PM)
Depends. I employ this mainly as a punishment; if you can't show yourself worthy of making good decisions on your own you don't get to make them at all. It's almost impossible to comply to perfectly and very time consuming, but with some discipline, perfectly achievable. Of course we're not talking about things that cannot be controlled like sneezing or breathing. I also don't know of anyone personally adoring it as part of everyday lifestyle. Actually, if you want a taste of it, you can experiment by writing it down every time you need to use the bathroom, and setting an alarm for yourself for every little task like taking a bath or having a meal. Usually it is the Dom who loses patience with the exercise first. Some employ it as a funishment excuse because its so easy to mess up.

seekingreality -> RE: what is it like to be a total slave? (10/15/2012 9:17:31 PM)
99.99% of doms would find that utterly boring. It would just be a lot of work,

MadameM4U -> RE: what is it like to be a total slave? (10/15/2012 9:29:07 PM)
I would imagine having someone who wants every facet of life controlled to be very time consuming and probably annoying to me. I don't think I would have the time or patience for someone who wasn't willing/able to make some decisions on their own and can't see controlling anyone to the point of them having to ask if they could go to the bathroom.

JeffBC -> RE: what is it like to be a total slave? (10/15/2012 9:52:00 PM)
If what you mean is some master walking around saying, "breath in bitch... now breath out..." then as everyone else has said, you're talking fantasy. If what you're talking about is just a TPE slave that's a whole different story. But there's no answer to the question. It's kind of like asking, "So what's it like to be a wife." The answer is going to depend A LOT on the two people involved in the marriage.

TNDommeK -> RE: what is it like to be a total slave? (10/15/2012 9:52:22 PM)
I'm in agreement with everyone. Even the slaves that Hubby owns here are 24/7 but there are more nilla moments than kinky. Which is great.

OsideGirl -> RE: what is it like to be a total slave? (10/16/2012 7:40:36 AM)
My view is that I'm here to make Master's life easier. It's not easier if he has to tell me to do everything from what to wear down to when to pee.

mnottertail -> RE: what is it like to be a total slave? (10/16/2012 7:48:43 AM)
If I didn't have to worry about you remembering to pee, my life would be easier, so to each their own, I reckon.

LadyPact -> RE: what is it like to be a total slave? (10/16/2012 7:53:51 AM)
Having had the pleasure of knowing more people than I can count from your own backyard, why are you not out in real life asking them?

OttersSwim -> RE: what is it like to be a total slave? (10/16/2012 8:12:12 AM)
And yet, I am aware of two dynamics where the submissive has to ask to go to the bathroom, and one where the D-Type picks out what his girl will wear almost every day. Depending on the people involved and the specifics of the dynamic, the level of control exerted by the Dominant will vary. I have to agree with others that the connotation of "total slavery" smacks of fantasy, but I don't think that was really what you were asking. In most cases, someone who is capable of independent thought and can work without constant direction, or within a defined parameter is most useful.

Lockit -> RE: what is it like to be a total slave? (10/16/2012 8:54:00 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact Having had the pleasure of knowing more people than I can count from your own backyard, why are you not out in real life asking them? I may need to start a thread about this, but for the moment, I just have to make a comment about this. LadyPact, your experience isn’t what everyone is going to experience and I feel that expecting/implying that people should experience things just the way you did or do is rather in the box thinking. It is rather sad that when someone comes for information and they are new, they are sent to another site, are told to do a search or go to a munch or event. What? Are we here at CM unable to address their question or must they go to a public event or even go some place in person to have a valid need for information or involvement? When I first came to CM, the boards were full of meaty topics along with the other kind of thread that seems to be most prevalent these days and many of us have encouraged the more meaty topics I think we miss, we blast newbie’s whether they have a clue or not and tell them to go some place else as if this place isn’t a valid resource. Are those with experience nullifying those that wish to gain some or learn simply because some feel they are more real or relevant than others? I find this very sad. I have been public about some things in my life and though it was mostly in the swingers arena, we had a lot of common ground. I hated it for many reasons that would be the same reasons I wouldn’t enjoy anything public with my d/s or bdsm now. Just not my thing. I am not a top and I am not sadistic, but does that mean my kink is any less in some manner or that my experiences as a dominant is somehow less because I don’t do the public thing other than a munch or meeting people in a more intimate setting? Does it mean that somehow I would be dangerous because I wasn’t taught, guided or mentored by going public with strangers to start with? Hell, I don’t even want to do half of what some people do around here, but I will be damned if there is going to be a way I must do anything to be valid to other players, tops, dominants, submissives or what the fuck whatever. LOL Let’s encourage people to ask even if they sound clueless to whatever degree. I can see being snarky when it is total wanker in deep fantasy that could make no sense at all, but when it is a question like the op posed… I find flippant answers that might discourage someone or make them feel like there is a special handshake that needs to be done to be involved, rather in the box and unfriendly in a way that closes more doors than it would open. This is an opportunity to share, discus and inform and we miss the mark far too often.

Lockit -> RE: what is it like to be a total slave? (10/16/2012 9:13:44 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Somuchmoreinsc i have made some good friends on here so now i have another question what is it like being a total slave where the master does and controls everything from bathroom use to bath time? just curious thanks for your help I think people have said a lot that I would say, but I would like to direct this to who you are and what you want in life. Do you really wish to ask permission to do everything in an attempt to be a total slave, whatever that really does mean? Think about it. Master/Mistress is at work and cannot be reached. What do you do? One can have control or be controlled without all aspects of life being controlled and have a full experience. Don't try to be something or do something because of an impression you may have gained somewhere of what a total anything is or what they do. Find what makes you totally you.

ProlificNeeds -> RE: what is it like to be a total slave? (10/16/2012 11:03:00 AM)
To the OP: 'Total slave' is much like a 'true slave' or a 'real slave' or a slave of any kind with a descriptor before it that implies it is somehow better. Fictional garbage.

kiwisub12 -> RE: what is it like to be a total slave? (10/16/2012 5:03:44 PM)
Yep - having been in a D/s relationship, 24/7, it would have driven me batshit crazy to have him dictate every minute thing to me. Heck, it used to sometimes make me nuts to have to search him out to ask if i could go to the toilet - and we had very few rules in place. I'm thinking total control would be like the lifestyle the Russian fellow was looking for - dildo in every hole and punished out the wazoo- sounds great, looks fine in pictures, but very unrealistic for more than a few hours at a time. .... for one thing - when i was reading would being a total slave mean i would have to ask to turn the page, and how would that work when he was asleep? I am so not slavey enough to be able to tolerate that for long. after all, i love to read- and fast! [:D] On the other hand, if the two of you agree to X number of rules, then more power to you. The only problem is is that the dom has to enforce the rules he dictates. My Sir always said he was too damn lazy to do that much work - which is why we only had a few rules. Of course, they were somewhat intense for someone starting out - and very embarassing too, but there were only a handful. lol.

LadyPact -> RE: what is it like to be a total slave? (10/16/2012 5:21:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lockit I may need to start a thread about this, but for the moment, I just have to make a comment about this. LadyPact, your experience isn’t what everyone is going to experience and I feel that expecting/implying that people should experience things just the way you did or do is rather in the box thinking. It is rather sad that when someone comes for information and they are new, they are sent to another site, are told to do a search or go to a munch or event. What? Are we here at CM unable to address their question or must they go to a public event or even go some place in person to have a valid need for information or involvement? When I first came to CM, the boards were full of meaty topics along with the other kind of thread that seems to be most prevalent these days and many of us have encouraged the more meaty topics I think we miss, we blast newbie’s whether they have a clue or not and tell them to go some place else as if this place isn’t a valid resource. Are those with experience nullifying those that wish to gain some or learn simply because some feel they are more real or relevant than others? I find this very sad. I have been public about some things in my life and though it was mostly in the swingers arena, we had a lot of common ground. I hated it for many reasons that would be the same reasons I wouldn’t enjoy anything public with my d/s or bdsm now. Just not my thing. I am not a top and I am not sadistic, but does that mean my kink is any less in some manner or that my experiences as a dominant is somehow less because I don’t do the public thing other than a munch or meeting people in a more intimate setting? Does it mean that somehow I would be dangerous because I wasn’t taught, guided or mentored by going public with strangers to start with? Hell, I don’t even want to do half of what some people do around here, but I will be damned if there is going to be a way I must do anything to be valid to other players, tops, dominants, submissives or what the fuck whatever. LOL Let’s encourage people to ask even if they sound clueless to whatever degree. I can see being snarky when it is total wanker in deep fantasy that could make no sense at all, but when it is a question like the op posed… I find flippant answers that might discourage someone or make them feel like there is a special handshake that needs to be done to be involved, rather in the box and unfriendly in a way that closes more doors than it would open. This is an opportunity to share, discus and inform and we miss the mark far too often. The above is like saying you should only accept information from one source, rather than understand that more sources are available. Oddly enough, I find munches, events, etc to be a more reliable resource. The net has proven itself time and time again not to be the best place for information. If nothing else, walking up to those people in the physical world allows a person to see that is the way they are REALLY LIVING. Not some version of what is found all too often of the make believe on the internet. There is a STRONG kink community in SC. It has a rich leather history. BDSM munch groups are in every city. A lot of them used to post here to discuss those "meaty topics" that we both enjoyed. They aren't found as often on the boards these days. I think you and I both have an idea of why that doesn't happen anymore. We'll have to agree to disagree on this one. I still believe that face to face, hands on, or real world is the best way to learn.

Lockit -> RE: what is it like to be a total slave? (10/16/2012 5:45:41 PM)
LadyPact, I never said that online was the only source of information or that it should be and don't care to imply that in person is lacking in any way other than to say there are many sources of information and CM is one of them. People shouldn't be discredited or pushed to do things they may not be ready for in their exploration of self and whatever lifestyle they have taken some interest in. There are many people that are able to find their way without any source. lol The thing is, when so many get the answer to whatever... to get out in real life and do it... whatever that it is, they aren't answering the question or providing anything but what may be seen as something critical and as if the one seeking information is doing it wrong. It can seemingly be insulting. I have heard horror stories about things that have happened in public arena's and not only that, but you can find some of the same jerk offs in a public event as you can online. I meet a few of them in my time. There may be more on online, but that is where people here at CM and other places can make a difference. They often did before. Which brings us to your statement of... There is a STRONG kink community in SC. It has a rich leather history. BDSM munch groups are in every city. A lot of them used to post here to discuss those "meaty topics" that we both enjoyed. They aren't found as often on the boards these days. I think you and I both have an idea of why that doesn't happen anymore. I'm not exactly sure what you are implying that I know on why that doesn't happen anymore and I am not sure that we would agree upon that. If you care to enlighten me on something you seem to think I know, fine. If not, we can disagree, but please don't assume you know much about what I think or know and please... lets get rid of that implication that there is something evil going on that others aren't aware of, that you and I might know. Its not rocket science. That dead horse has been beaten all over the forum for a couple months now. If we go back in time... I can assure you the same accusations have taken place from time to time and it was as ugly then as it is now. I do recall a thread you started that discussed a bit of this and there we might find some agreement, even if not total agreement. However, I do believe there are many reasons for it all. I for one would rather let the dead horse rot and move on. I still will and always will believe that CM and other places like it are viable sources of some information and shouldn't be AS diminished as they often are.

JanahX -> RE: what is it like to be a total slave? (10/16/2012 6:24:03 PM)
So putting the snark aside - this thread is still waiting for the people that have been a "total slave" to share their experience. Im curious to know as well. I would love to know how it works - what the need is and the fulfillment that generates from someone telling someone when to eat, sleep, poop, dress, talk, think, every single move. - control and be controlled every minute of the waking day. I'd also like to know how they find the time and resources to do this 24/7 - 365 days a year. Also - how a person grows as an individual while doing this. From what I understand - if growth of individuality is taken away and it completely stagnates, the person slides into depression. Id like to learn if this is true or not. To seek to have no individual mind, and to want someone else be your mind for you. Like I said - it sounds like jail. Thats what they do there. quote: ORIGINAL: Somuchmoreinsc i have made some good friends on here so now i have another question what is it like being a total slave where the master does and controls everything from bathroom use to bath time? just curious thanks for your help

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