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Muchtado -> RE: Should I Be More Insistent with Aftercare? (10/19/2012 10:54:37 AM)
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Hello Temp,
What I was thinking was that maybe you had something in your past that makes you feel like you deserved this treatment. That this is how you were making amends for something you did in your past.
This has happened to me. I was working with a submissive that every time we got together she wanted me to “punish” her for lack of a better term. She had made some bad choices in the past and she felt like she should be disciplined for those decisions. In her mind (I found this out later) BDSM for her was a means to an end. That end was to make her pay for what she did in the past.
This denotes a deeper psychosis that needs to be dealt with by a professional. She could have started cutting, being anorexic or bulimic or any other self destructive activities that are common with this condition. Instead of doing any of those, in my opinion, she used a BDSM relationship to provide the destructive activity for her.
Understand that I do not know your particular circumstances. I was just going by my own experience. That is why I liked when you wrote what you did. It kept me from making a fool of myself by assuming facts that were not stated. In my own defense, I was drawing from my own personal experience.
I really hope that you and MissA can work this out. She seems to be a good match for you and she does care enough to try to get feedback on her concerns. IMHO you should sit down with MissA and talk through this so you both get what you need.
Larry
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