RE: LT Cm Relationship...End It or Save It?

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RE: LT Cm Relationship...End It or Save It? - 11/2/2012 5:38:37 PM

LadyHugs

Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

It is unfortunate that there is a constant repeat of the old trap, that people fall in love with the fantasy lifestyle. Usually the courtship will have plenty of activities and like minded pursuits. This is true of vanilla relationships.

Communication of what the future should/would/may be like, should have been done long before the committments. The power exchange means just that--a constant exchange of communications and re-affirmation of that relationship of Mistress/Master-slave. There is also a unequal growth of men and women respectively. Men are driven by different 'drives' and women are equally different in their 'drives.' It is the compromises that must be foreseen by both parties. Being a Master/Mistress in a relationship with a 'bottom' is too democratic and based too much on kinky sex and play. A lifestyle is a life's choice but, the trap is--that it isn't any different from a vanilla relationship and all the problems of any other relationship...just has a bit more 'kink' to the over all recipe of that particular relationship. If it was a Top-bottom relationship it would be more balanced yet, if the title is Dominant or Mistress (at least in the Old School context), the degrees of domination and submission tilt to a larger degree. I use the analogy of a 'teeter-totter.' Top-bottoms the board is level-- Dominant-sub, both ends of the board are in the air--Dominant higher and submissive lower. Master/Mistress-slave, the slave is bottom on the ground and Master/Mistress is at the highest point. To express the meaning and definition as to what these titles are, to include duties of each--it helps being a reminder of what was and a helpful means to re-align the roles.

I won't get into the age differences -whatever floats your boat.

Communicate to your 'other' and look to deal with it within--it will end with both of you having the final decision, regardless of what any of us/all of us say. Both of you know your relationship best. You'll know if it is beyond repair. Just part with respect and dignity, as not to put any more 'drama' into the causes for the relationship question to be aired for observations, comments and or thoughts.

Just my opinions,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to LadyPact)

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Post #: 21

RE: LT Cm Relationship...End It or Save It? - 11/2/2012 6:32:43 PM

Politesub53

Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Baroana

Sounds like it's about the relationship, not the play. You guys have different expectations of how things should be.

QFT.

Forget the play side of things, could you make this work if it was a vanilla relationship. if not, you are better off out of it.

Personally, as much as I love to play, I would get the relationship right before I ever considered moving in with anyone.

(in reply to Baroana)

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Post #: 22

RE: LT Cm Relationship...End It or Save It? - 11/5/2012 3:25:09 PM

azzwype

Posts: 5
Joined: 7/16/2012
Status: offline

Thanks guys, for all the responses. Please let me respond, as well.

1. I was not looking for someone so young, it just worked ot that way. i would prefer someone closer to my own age, but did not find anyone during that time period. I know Her age is part of the problem, but i want to help Her mature and help Her become empowered, but i also want Her to understand what i am going through.

2. Yes, i deserve all the scolding i got. Yes, my relationship skills suck. I blame much of this on my submissive side. I am always the one to take care of things and get business done, but i have always had this addiction.... this craving to be used and abused and controlled by a Woman. But my "fantasy" always included a lot of "motivation" to get me through it. Without that, it is just another pain in the ass waste of my time.

3. No, i am not making a life-changing decision based upon forum responses. i am not going to show this to Her to say, "See, other people side with me etc...etc..... i just don't have any other resources to discuss a FemDom relationship

4. The best responses were basic common sense. I simply must talk and communicate with Her.

(in reply to Politesub53)

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Post #: 23

RE: LT Cm Relationship...End It or Save It? - 11/5/2012 3:30:43 PM

azzwype

Posts: 5
Joined: 7/16/2012
Status: offline

P.S. My profile....
It is contemptable to say the least, despicable to say the most. I created it mainly just to have a Collarme account. i am looking around, but not yet ready to jump. Perhaps it would just be better for me to just visit a pro Dom now and then instead of trying to find a different relationship.?

(in reply to azzwype)

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RE: LT Cm Relationship...End It or Save It? - 11/5/2012 4:30:53 PM

theRose4U

Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline

Again missing the point!! Seeing a pro will solve what your dick wants...but is it bringing honesty into your relationship?

Myself I severly punished sub I discovered was emailing other doms. Dumped him soon after realizing that wasn't the only lie he was telling. If you want to be a sub worth anyone else wanting...try honesty even if it ends your current situation.

And if your name happens to be brandon, don't make me get the dime & explain honestly again!

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to azzwype)

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Post #: 25