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RE: I am confused about my Dom? - 10/29/2012 1:07:58 PM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline 		I'm thinking the weekly allowance and gifts mean a great deal to you, otherwise why have a long distance arrangement with someone twice your age? It doesn't sound like you have much in common with him despite your protestations to the contrary, if he's wanting multiple people in the bed and you're worried about not being his type- why are you sticking with him if not for the cash? I'm not knocking the arrangement, I just think if you're going to take someone's money, then you do what they want or you move on. Seems about right, there's nothing mysterious about it or even particularly related to BDSM.

You're either the piece on the side and are being paid to be that, or you're a relationship partner. So your choices are to give him what he wants while he's giving you what you want with money and gifts, tell him you want a relationship and have a few concerns about it and stop taking the money and gifts and turn this into a relationship based on things non-monetary, or move on. Older men with a taste for young women are a dime a dozen although it might be harder to find one to give you things as well.

(in reply to PrincessBrienna)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: I am confused about my Dom? - 10/29/2012 1:32:25 PM   
PrincessBrienna


Posts: 17
Joined: 10/22/2012
Status: offline 		I am genuinely sorry if I offended anyone... I posted on here to get advice, I got some and I am glad. Thanks to everyone that posted, even to those that called me names or said I needed a therapist... I still thank you for taking your time to reply to my post :)

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: I am confused about my Dom? - 10/29/2012 1:57:38 PM   
imuhslave4U


Posts: 1
Joined: 2/23/2012
Status: offline 		All these answers are bull shit... Let the guy come on here and defend himself. Drama out the ass... it all sounds very selfish... and the one that quoted about old men are a dime a dozen, you're an idiot and some are trying to get the girl for themselves. I'm older and I'm in it every night, if anything I could teach you so called experienced playas a thing or two about BDSM. I know this girl only became more confused. http://www.collarchat.com/micons/m22.gif

(in reply to searching4mysir)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: I am confused about my Dom? - 10/29/2012 2:08:34 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		Wow, charming first post.

I think it's a plethora of joy: Incorrect information, accusations, arrogance and a thin skinned temper tantrum.





_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to imuhslave4U)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: I am confused about my Dom? - 10/29/2012 2:12:08 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: imuhslave4U

All these answers are bull shit... Let the guy come on here and defend himself. Drama out the ass... it all sounds very selfish... and the one that quoted about old men are a dime a dozen, you're an idiot and some are trying to get the girl for themselves. I'm older and I'm in it every night, if anything I could teach you so called experienced playas a thing or two about BDSM. I know this girl only became more confused. http://www.collarchat.com/micons/m22.gif


ROFLMAO!

I love this place! You're still not as good as Ron White though.

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to imuhslave4U)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: I am confused about my Dom? - 10/29/2012 2:15:49 PM   
ChicMistress


Posts: 4
Joined: 10/25/2012
Status: offline 		YOU SHOULD ALL BE ASHAMED!!!!!! I went through the replies and only about 3 about had some sort of advice to offer her. She came here for advice not to be thrown down and insulted. What is wrong with her dom helping her financially? It is clear that she likes him but she is just confused and I can relate to that. And just to point out something to you folks, just because someone just joined CM does not mean they are new into the lifestyle. Jeez people, you all acted like high school bullies!

(in reply to imuhslave4U)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: I am confused about my Dom? - 10/29/2012 2:22:15 PM   
MsLadySue


Posts: 2254
Joined: 12/18/2004
Status: offline 		When you have been into BDSM as many years as most of the people who have provided advice to the OP, then you might have something worth contributing. Their maturity is worth much more than your immature butt hurt.

< Message edited by MsLadySue -- 10/29/2012 2:23:07 PM >

_____________________________

In order for you to insult me, I would first have to value your opinion.
I love it when someone insults me. That means I don't have to be nice anymore.

(in reply to ChicMistress)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: I am confused about my Dom? - 10/29/2012 2:28:20 PM   
ChicMistress


Posts: 4
Joined: 10/25/2012
Status: offline 		Experience? What is your definition of experience? Being on CM for over 6 years? Is that your idea of experience? How am I sure they are experienced? Is there any form of certification of experience in BDSM they can show me to prove that they infact have experience? Stating on one's profile that they have x amount of experience is not enough proof. You all come across as very snobby if I might add. Looking down your nose at others, its people like you that send me insulting messages everyday about how you all think young girls are not fit to be dommes. Get off your high horse or more realistically get off your couch and see the real world as it is.

(in reply to MsLadySue)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: I am confused about my Dom? - 10/29/2012 2:37:17 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		And more temper tantrums......

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to ChicMistress)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: I am confused about my Dom? - 10/29/2012 2:42:41 PM   
JanahX


Posts: 3443
Joined: 8/21/2010
Status: offline 		That was AWESOME!!! Now - for all intents and purposes - now that y'all have been thoroughly chastised by ChicMistress with all three of her very dubious posts - those whom feel ashamed please raise your hands. Your services here on these boards are no longer wanted by her.


quote:

ORIGINAL: ChicMistress

YOU SHOULD ALL BE ASHAMED!!!!!! I went through the replies and only about 3 about had some sort of advice to offer her. She came here for advice not to be thrown down and insulted. What is wrong with her dom helping her financially? It is clear that she likes him but she is just confused and I can relate to that. And just to point out something to you folks, just because someone just joined CM does not mean they are new into the lifestyle. Jeez people, you all acted like high school bullies!



< Message edited by JanahX -- 10/29/2012 2:43:17 PM >

_____________________________

The first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

The second rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.


(in reply to ChicMistress)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: I am confused about my Dom? - 10/29/2012 2:42:44 PM   
absolutchocolat


Posts: 1392
Status: offline 		three months is hardly enough time to really know someone, especially when you've only met face-to face once. there is a lot someone can hide from you, so don't be naive about that. if the things you list are deal breakers, then go with your gut. be confident in what YOU bring to the relationship.

i'm curious...are you going to relocate at some point? good luck, in any case.

< Message edited by absolutchocolat -- 10/29/2012 2:52:12 PM >

(in reply to PrincessBrienna)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: I am confused about my Dom? - 10/29/2012 2:50:32 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: absolutchocolat

three months is hardly enough time to really know someone, especially when you've only met face-to face-once.


I agree. LA (a poster who is no longer here) used to say that you shouldn't accept a collar until at least 6 months.

I thought that piece was very true. I spent 20 years in a HUGE community and spent a great deal of time people watching. After awhile I averaged it out and came to the conclusion that most D/s relationships have a shelf life of about 3 months. Usually just long enough for the tingly genitals to calm down and come to the sudden realization that they didn't even like the person that they were with.


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to absolutchocolat)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: I am confused about my Dom? - 10/29/2012 2:52:30 PM   
MsLadySue


Posts: 2254
Joined: 12/18/2004
Status: offline 		Young lady, I was going to give you the benefit of the doubt until you showed us how immature you really are. The people I was referring to have been in real time lifestyle relationships for years, myself included. Perhaps when you've spent some time on the forums and learned about the posters, you will realize they live the life and are not living a fantasy on a computer.

< Message edited by MsLadySue -- 10/29/2012 2:55:52 PM >

_____________________________

In order for you to insult me, I would first have to value your opinion.
I love it when someone insults me. That means I don't have to be nice anymore.

(in reply to ChicMistress)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: I am confused about my Dom? - 10/29/2012 2:55:46 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MsLadySue

Young lady, I was going to give you the benefit of the doubt until you showed us how immature you really are. The people I was referring to have been in real time lifestyle relationships for years, myself included. Perhaps when you've spent some time on the forums and learned about the posters, you will realize they live the life and not are living a fantasy on a computer.


Oh hell, I've been in the same relationship longer than she's been menstruating.


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to MsLadySue)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: I am confused about my Dom? - 10/29/2012 3:00:05 PM   
MsLadySue


Posts: 2254
Joined: 12/18/2004
Status: offline 		I suspect most of us have.

_____________________________

In order for you to insult me, I would first have to value your opinion.
I love it when someone insults me. That means I don't have to be nice anymore.

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: I am confused about my Dom? - 10/29/2012 3:01:08 PM   
ChicMistress


Posts: 4
Joined: 10/25/2012
Status: offline 		And there goes my point. SMH

(in reply to MsLadySue)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: I am confused about my Dom? - 10/29/2012 3:03:04 PM   
JanahX


Posts: 3443
Joined: 8/21/2010
Status: offline 		Yes, your point is quite out the window - but I dont think it was ever here to begin with.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChicMistress

And there goes my point. SMH



< Message edited by JanahX -- 10/29/2012 3:12:44 PM >

_____________________________

The first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

The second rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.


(in reply to ChicMistress)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: I am confused about my Dom? - 10/29/2012 3:04:11 PM   
MsLadySue


Posts: 2254
Joined: 12/18/2004
Status: offline 		Yes, your point was shot all to hell.

_____________________________

In order for you to insult me, I would first have to value your opinion.
I love it when someone insults me. That means I don't have to be nice anymore.

(in reply to ChicMistress)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: I am confused about my Dom? - 10/29/2012 3:05:58 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		OP - it seems to me that you need to make a few things clearer to your dom. If he knows that you aren't into poly, and keeps insisting that this is something that he wants to go to, you need to ask him if the two of you are really a twosome, not a threesome, or a foursome or.......................
everything you question is an issue you need to talk to him about. If you don't talk to him, you will never get the real scope on what is going on - just the opinion of strangers on line. And really, is it that hard to talk to him?

Send him a detailed email about your issues. If he replies, great. If he doesn't, then he really has replied, hasn't he?

(in reply to ChicMistress)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: I am confused about my Dom? - 10/29/2012 3:06:03 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JanahX

Yes, your point is quite out the window - but I dont think it was ever here to begin with.




Good point. I love when someone shows off the giant chip on their shoulder in the first five posts ever made.


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to JanahX)
Profile   Post #: 40
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