RE: How do you view anothers kink?

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RE: How do you view anothers kink? - 6/15/2006 8:03:11 PM

timeoutgurlie

Posts: 588
Joined: 3/21/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: twicehappy

We have had many posts on tolerance, on the definitions we use in bdsm, on how we post towards each, all of these have me wondering, just how accepting are we here on cm and in real life of each others kinks and lifestyles. Or for that matter others lifestyles in general? (i.e.; biker, Christian, Susie homemaker, Joe suit and tie)

Do you find some you hate or cannot grasp? How do you react to these?
Anything without consent disgusts me. Sex with children, animals, the dead or people with cognitive defecits who cannot make their own decisions all repulse me to the core. I have no idea how I'd react to everything besides the molesting children one because I haven't experienced the others. I can't go into details about how I 'reacted', let's say it was unkindly.

Do you find some of them morally reprehensible? Which ones? Why?
See above.

Are you open to at least discussing these kinks or do you just turn the person or poster off or worse yet flame them?
Not those ones, never. Everything else is fair game, though I'd be wary of anything that would leave me bleeding heavily afterward, and needles would be hard to handle because they make me wanna faint lol

What do each of you consider to be mainstream kink or fringe kink?
Can't decide.

How many consider M/s or D/s or Daddy's/Mommy's boy or girl to be kink? How many consider it to be a lifestyle?
It can be both, I think

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RE: How do you view anothers kink? - 6/15/2006 8:11:49 PM

impishlilhellcat

Posts: 4379
Joined: 3/26/2006
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I've always said what floats your boat. Your kink may not be my kink, but who am I to judge what you do or vice versa for that matter.

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RE: How do you view anothers kink? - 6/16/2006 12:02:32 AM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
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quote:

Do you find some you hate or cannot grasp? How do you react to these?

I cannot grasp cutting/blood/needle play and fisting. Hate them? Not really, in fact I'd like to watch.
I had a boy who wanted me to consider him send me some extreme anal play pictures which intimidated/freaked me out to the extent that I completely lost interest in him... I felt that I wouldn't/couldn't do those things to/for him ever...

quote:

Do you find some of them morally reprehensible? Which ones? Why?

Yes... Mature Players/lifestylers who involve folks before 18, I have difficulty respecting and understanding.
Why? Because I am very protective of lil ones, and relatively intolerant of their being around adults who would not do everything in their power to foster as much normalcy(to the extent possible/reasonable)/independence while growing up, so that when they are adults they may choose how to live their lives of their own accord.

quote:

How many consider M/s or D/s or Daddy's/Mommy's boy or girl to be kink? How many consider it to be a lifestyle?

This one is difficult for me to answer... I believe it's a kink that can be incorporated into a D/s or an M/s relationship. I've never been at all interest mommy baby play; but mommy adolescent boy play, I've thought about and tried to reconcile my feelings with. Beachmystress said something in a post that resonated with me, and made me try to find my comfort zone as it relates to Daddy/Mommy's girl/boy play...

quote:

BeachMystress
I have a sadistic bent to me. I find it to be less a part of me with my current sub. I do not have to force him to accept my nurturing. I know that sounds like an odd statement, but in actuality, adult men often don't like to be mothered. I've often had to hurt a sub so I could make him better. *smiles* Funny how they are much more likely to accept being comforted and cosseted after they've experienced a lot of pain. That doesn't mean I'm not sadistic at all with my current sub. It means my pain play tends to be impish rather than designed to make him scream.

Thanks again BeachMystress.

M

< Message edited by BlkTallFullfig -- 6/16/2006 12:53:45 AM >

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RE: How do you view anothers kink? - 6/16/2006 12:41:52 AM

mastersayed

Posts: 119
Joined: 3/21/2006
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I dont care what people do in their bedroom aslong as they dont do it on my lawn. I follow the principles of John Locke and I believe that everybody should have the freedom to do what they like as long as they dont harm other members of society.

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RE: How do you view anothers kink? - 6/16/2006 1:23:06 AM

Calandra

Posts: 725
Joined: 11/22/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: twicehappy
Do you find some you hate or cannot grasp? How do you react to these?

Speaking of "lifestyles" or "groups" whether within BDSM or not, I'd have to say that finding people who live differently than I do does not inspire hate or intolerance in me except in certain guidelines. If a person or a group hurts or exploits another in a non-consensual way, I will get involved if possible, and of course my emotions will reflect the disgust I feel for them. Certain racially motivated or religiously motivated hate groups would fall into this category. Child molesters, and true sex offenders(not the poor 19 yr olds who sleep with a 17 yr old here...) are repugnant to me, and I could say I "hate" these groups.

quote:

Do you find some of them morally reprehensible? Which ones? Why?

In addition to the groups and individuals I've mentioned above, I also find that any group who feels they have the right or the obligation to "convert" me to their way is reprehensible. I'm 40 years old, and in getting to know people I tend to ask questions openly. I enjoy understanding who people are and why they believe the way they do, but if I say "thanks for the insight, but thats just not for me" then that is not an invitation to badger me or mine into accepting their way as gospel. Growing up in the South, I have very very low tolerance for pushy people who think that just because I spank my husband I'm going to hell....

quote:

Are you open to at least discussing these kinks or do you just turn the person or poster off or worse yet flame them?

I'll listen to most people, unless/until they get forceful. Then they might draw back a nub if they insist on getting into my personal space. As for flaming, I've been accused of beeing kinda aggressive in speaking my opinion, but I feel that if someone is in danger of hurting another, or misleading them in a way that they will be endangered at a later time, I'll definitely speak up.

I once owned a chatroom that was very busy. Scening was allowed, but room rules did say that scening in any way that could be dangerous if copied in real life would be stopped. This Dom decided to scene with his girl and posted that he was anal, and then went directly into her vagina afterwards. I posted him privately and asked him to correct the scene in the room, only to get a snotty reply from him. I then posted in the open room to please stop the scene and correct the post to reflect safety concerns. He and his girl got very hateful... They left, and several new ones asked why I stepped in? Believe it or not, we chatted for two hours about the health risks associated with introducing fecal material into the vagina... Many many people said that they might have done the same thing in real life because they didn't know the health risks.

I've found that anyone who stands up for what they believe in will be accused of flaming at some point or another...

quote:

What do each of you consider to be mainstream kink or fringe kink?

The beauty of our lifestyle is that there are no mainstreams... everyone is different and thats wonderful!

quote:

How many consider M/s or D/s or Daddy's/Mommy's boy or girl to be kink? How many consider it to be a lifestyle?

I think that "kink" and "lifestyle" are determined by the participants involved and how much time/investment they spend on it. Some may use an activity as an enhancement of their lives (kink), where another couple might use the same activity as a framework to build their lives around (lifestyle). I, personally feel that someone who is a part-pimer is JUST AS VALID as someone who devotes themselves to it full time. I feel that people who participate in activities that I don't feel comfortable with (or attracted to), are just as valid as I am, so long as consent is present.

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RE: How do you view anothers kink? - 6/16/2006 1:51:43 AM

Brosco

Posts: 238
Joined: 5/29/2006
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Being one of those roleplaying wannabees that has found a relationship online I see the lack of tolerance every day here in any post that dares even hint at such a relationship is definitely a kink for some that have insecurities.

For me, apart from the illegal and immoral tastes like children, nonconsensual, etc., my biggest intolerance is of the one-true-way experts.

If I must specify a kink that I don't like, that would have to be poly. But I can dislike it without slamming others for having it, I tend to just keep my mouth shut since I have little to offer on a conversation like this.

I do have a mainstream kink, and that is Orgasm Control, but again I can be slammed here for that or have it trivialized as a party trick. I guess those into edge play would appreciate their kink discussed this way.

So I guess my biggest hate is intolerance by those that profess to live in a tolerant lifestyle.

Brosco

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RE: How do you view anothers kink? - 6/16/2006 8:07:55 AM

TxBadMan

Posts: 198
Joined: 4/7/2006
From: Moody, Texas
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quote:

Do you find some you hate or cannot grasp? How do you react to these?

There are some that I do not understand. As for how I react to them; I don't. Other people's preferences do not give me cause for concern, unless I know for a fact that what they are engaging in is illegal and cause for alarm ( ie, unmentionables ). As long as they respect my choices, I will respect theirs.

quote:

Do you find some of them morally reprehensible? Which ones? Why?

Not particularly. As I said, as long as they respect my choices, I will respect theirs.

quote:

Are you open to at least discussing these kinks or do you just turn the person or poster off or worse yet flame them?

I have several friends in RL who are opposed to some things that I do, and vice versa. However, our friendship allows for communication between us.

quote:

What do each of you consider to be mainstream kink or fringe kink?

I don't place a label or restriction on anyone else's desires and choices.

quote:

How many consider M/s or D/s or Daddy's/Mommy's boy or girl to be kink? How many consider it to be a lifestyle?

Since I don't refer to any of it as 'lifestyle', I could not possibly answer this question.

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RE: How do you view anothers kink? - 6/16/2006 10:01:44 AM

Padriag

Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
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Do you find some you hate or cannot grasp? How do you react to these?

Are there some that I hate, no. There are some things I have no tolerance for, but not to the degree of hating. Things I cannot grasp, a few, but I keep puzzling them out to see what motivates or attracts people. If its one of the few things I don't tolerate, I'll speak out and say what I think and why I think it. People either listen or not. If I know I can't change the situation, I don't waste my energy trying.

Do you find some of them morally reprehensible? Which ones? Why?

Morally, no. Ethically, yes. I find the practice of breeding a slave for the purpose of producing children which are then to be raised as slaves or sold to be unethical. Why, because the child has no ability to consent to what is happening. An situation that I think is likely to cause an individual serious and/or permanent harm, whether physical, mental or emotional I find to be unethical. Why, because doing that kind of harm for ones own pleasure is beyond the boundaries of what should be acceptable play. Anyone who consents to, for example, being killed and eaten or fed to dogs (and there are those with that fantasy), I question their mental health and their ability to consent.

Are you open to at least discussing these kinks or do you just turn the person or poster off or worse yet flame them?

Oh I'll discuss it so far as explaining very clearly why it is wrong, what the rational reasons for that are, etc. If they don't get it then I quit wasting my time. I gave up trying to save the world years ago. If someone doesn't want my help, they're on their own.

What do each of you consider to be mainstream kink or fringe kink?

I never gave it much thought. Honestly, I do what I enjoy, within what I consider to be healthy boundaries. I don't care if its "mainstream" or not... I'm not asking for anyone's approval. In other words, does it matter if a kink is "fringe" or "mainstream"?

How many consider M/s or D/s or Daddy's/Mommy's boy or girl to be kink? How many consider it to be a lifestyle?

Kind of funny, was just discussing the topic of whether or not certain aspects of BDSM could be considered a lifestyle or not. What I concluded was that in most cases what people do is not a style of life, but more a style of relationship. I think in a few cases, you may find a slave that lives as such full time and for whom being a slave actually is a style of life (meaning they approach the all basic tasks of life, work, love, friends, self identity, spirtuality as a slave). But in my opinion such cases are the exception, not the rule.

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A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

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