RE: Ever been "caught" on Collarme?

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RE: Ever been "caught" on Collarme? - 11/1/2012 2:23:22 PM

absolutchocolat

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a bit of friendly advice -- i've been here before...just roll with the punches instead of making an ass of yourself. insulting the moderators and everyone else ain't gonna win you any friends, believe me!

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RE: Ever been "caught" on Collarme? - 11/1/2012 5:00:01 PM

flyhumbleguy

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Except for a moderator's refereeing of content location appropriateness, I didn't make personal attacks on anybody by calling them stupid or similar. I just question some people picking a trivial issue like the location appropriateness to jump in with name-calling and trying to work out personal empowerment issues...that is all. I am grateful that some are able to skip over the nonsensical drama and speak to the original question. Hearing of other people's experiences in this regard has been interesting. Thank you.

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RE: Ever been "caught" on Collarme? - 11/1/2012 8:07:57 PM

Shininglight23

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My Mom has a pretty public job, and one of her acquaintances saw my profile here... when I was 18. Needless to say... when she finally told me.. months later.. all the fears built up in her head. We had a bit of a discussion, but her "fear" never ceased... not even now.

My entire family knows I'm kinky because some other "kinky" guy that was a MEMBER here felt that.. "I was too young and innocent to be on a site like this. He just HAD to "protect" me... so he outed me.

Allie

< Message edited by Shininglight23 -- 11/1/2012 8:30:07 PM >

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RE: Ever been "caught" on Collarme? - 11/1/2012 8:42:09 PM

MistressDarkArt

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Shininglight23

a MEMBER here felt that.. "I was too young and innocent to be on a site like this. He just HAD to "protect" me... so he outed me.

Allie

Allie, here's at least one good thing to look forward to as you get older: you'll arrive at a place in life where balance, stability and contentment prevail. Best of all your give-a-damn-what-superfluous-people-think gets good and broken. Joke 'em if they can't take a f*ck, et al.

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RE: Ever been "caught" on Collarme? - 11/1/2012 8:45:33 PM

Whippedboy

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Best possible attitude, Cynthia. Glad it works for ya!
For me I just don't feel like sharing my sex life with people that I am not involved with sexually.
I don't share the vanilla side. Why would I share the kinky side?
Though with the group I hang with, other than some jokes, I would not predict too much of a hard time.

quote:

ORIGINAL: CynthiaWVirginia

quote:

My question goes to someone having found you that you weren't expecting to find you whether it be significant other, your mom, or your 11th grade Chemistry teacher. Or inversely, have you ever "caught" someone you didn't think you would during your participation here?

I haven't, but my boy has. Not everyone who cruises CM are members, some just wanna know where the "ho's" are. To avoid horney local guys who might be perving CM looking for someone to cyber or have phone sex with, and no doubt in my area there are plenty, I don't post a pic. I don't need to deal with that in the tiny town I live in. If I still lived in Van Nuys, CA or somewhere else, it wouldn't bother me.

My boy has been caught here at CM because of his picture. There were consequences. His long time hunting buddy who used to come over to play pool...stopped coming. He's not the one who found bo at CM, it was someone else and the guy blabbed it all over the neighborhood that (since bo is a submissive) bo is a "faggot". Everyone knows he's straight and that he has a girlfriend (me), but he still is given a very hard time. Even at his doctor's office. Yes, the guy even told bo's mother.

As for myself, I haven't "caught" anyone at CM so far. It wouldn't surprise me if one of my uncles or my cousin's adult son (he was at some BDSM site, I just don't know which one) were here at CollarMe.

What I am really hoping for...is to someday "catch" an old friend I lost touch with over the years. After her husband died she started dating again, found someone and I guess tried to hint to me that she was kinky...but alas, I was too dense to catch on. Last time we had contact, she had moved nearby to where I live now. (The problem with locating women is that their last name often changes.)

Again, I don't mind being "caught" by fellow kinksters, whether family or friends, it's just the asshats I'm avoiding by not posting a pic. (I outed myself to my family and to all current friends.)

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RE: Ever been "caught" on Collarme? - 11/1/2012 8:49:12 PM

JanahX

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Oh is that why you shared with everyone what you want to do with your neighbor?

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RE: Ever been "caught" on Collarme? - 11/1/2012 8:57:07 PM

sexyred1

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If you are "caught", whatever that means to you, be open about it.

There is nothing I detest more than someone who alludes that they know you and is not quite upfront about it.

I had a totally creepy experience on another kink site years ago. Someone wrote me, with no photo of course and he kept saying "nice green dress you wore today" or I loved those fur boots you had on today" and each time that was true.

I was furious with him and it turned out his MOTHER lived in my building and he had been checking me out for years in the elevator and laundry room when he would visit her.

He had the nerve to ask me out after he confessed. I told him to fuck off because I don't knowingly date stalkers.

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RE: Ever been "caught" on Collarme? - 11/1/2012 9:03:21 PM

KyttynTheMynx

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I have been caught by the vanilla guy I had intentions of dating (he was browsing another site on his brother's account, and just happened to find me (his brother didnt know me at the time, so he couldnt have told him). I ended up ditching Vanilla Man, and am now building "something" with The Sadist Brother.

I was recently caught by the brother of a guy I graduated with (on another site). G is about...3-4 years older than I am. And a few months back, I was caught by a girl I had become great friends with after high school. She found me here, and we had a great laugh.

I havent really had a bad experience. If someone were to find me, and make a big deal, I think I would take it in stride. I have always been safe. I am well over the legal age. Dont like that ya found my profile? Cool. Here is my invisible box of fucks I give. lol Thats the only stance I can take.

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RE: Ever been "caught" on Collarme? - 11/1/2012 9:08:59 PM

NoChoiceLeft

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((chuckles))
Never been "caught," But twice now I caught other people with my pics (thus no more pics up on the profile) and more than once I've run across a familliar face who'd probably be more comfortable never knowing that I know they're here. Usually I block people I recognize out of courtesy to them.

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RE: Ever been "caught" on Collarme? - 11/1/2012 9:11:10 PM

NoChoiceLeft

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Also... "Invisible box of fucks I give"
You are officially the goddess of verbal-fu for a day!
Also I shall endeavor to plagarize this line at any good opportunity.
Awesome!

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RE: Ever been "caught" on Collarme? - 11/1/2012 11:21:05 PM

littlewonder

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quote:

ORIGINAL: flyhumbleguy

My question goes to someone having found you that you weren't expecting to find you whether it be significant other, your mom, or your 11th grade Chemistry teacher. Or inversely, have you ever "caught" someone you didn't think you would during your participation here?

No to both questions.

And the reason people are getting on your case about the wrong place you put your post is because it says that you are lazy and can't even take the time to figure out the rules of the site. And being lazy is not attractive to anyone. Being lazy = non-productive, low intelligence, immature, uncooperative, rebellious, inconsiderate....just to name a few traits. So you have weeded yourself out as this.

As for being a positive thing about being "caught" by someone on here, not everyone would see it that way. It could be an employer who now feels uncomfortable with you and decides to get rid of you. It could be an employee who will use it to blackmail you. It could be your child who now sees you in a poor light. It could be a parent who is more conservative and may either not be very happy with you or even disown you. It could be a an ex spouse looking to get custody and using this as blackmail. So sure, it COULD be a positive thing but most of the time from my experience, it is not for a lot of people.

< Message edited by littlewonder -- 11/1/2012 11:32:25 PM >

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RE: Ever been "caught" on Collarme? - 11/2/2012 12:52:59 AM

myotherself

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I've never been caught online because I don't give out the kind of information that will potentially 'out' me.

But in real life I went to a local munch and discovered a colleague there. After the initial shock wore off, we had a giggle about it and swapped stories.

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RE: Ever been "caught" on Collarme? - 11/2/2012 6:43:58 AM

NuevaVida

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I have no idea if someone I knows has seen me here. If so, he/she hasn't mentioned it.

I haven't seen anyone I know here, but there's a woman I met a couple months ago at a festival in Oregon. She facebook friended me. Her avatar on FB is the same (unique, but not a photo of her) avatar as someone I see posting on Fet, and her FB posts speak of taking care of and doting on her man. I suspect it's the same person, but I haven't asked, and won't.

The Mister and I went to Folsom Street Fair last September, and he saw someone across the street, that he sort of knows from work. No idea if the guy recognized him, neither has said anything to each other.

There's a guy I've been friends with for years, from a job long ago. He enjoys photography and occasionally emails me recent pics. Recently he sent me a link to where ALL his pictures are, and after looking through them and enjoying them, I asked if some of them were taken at Folsom Street Fair and he laughed and said YES! That he & his wife have been going there every year for years, and asked if I've been there. I told him yep, we were just there. We thought it was a cool thing to learn about each other, after so many years.

There's a woman from this site as well as Fet, who has a face pic up as her avatar. A year or so ago when Facebook used to list "People you may know" and did so with their avatars, she popped up on my FB, likely because we've emailed through personal email and FB matched addresses. I let her know this, so she'd be aware that her anonymity (where she lived, personal photos, etc.) was compromised. She thanked me and we friended on FB, too.

It happens. But I agree with LW that there are reasons people (myself included) might not want coworkers or employers to know. It's the reason I don't post face shots. I also don't want the Mister's daughter seeing me here - she's 17 and who knows what sites she & her friends cruise through. She once told me that years ago she found some kinky toys of her dad's, and that she doesn't want to think of me that way, because it would bother her.

I wouldn't say I'm "hiding" here, just selective and careful about who I reveal my kinky side to.

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RE: Ever been "caught" on Collarme? - 11/2/2012 7:19:57 AM

DarkSteven

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quote:

ORIGINAL: flyhumbleguy

Where this got moved to is highly debatable. Besides being sticklers, I question the intelligence of the moderators as to where this ended up. Polls ask closed questions...this is an open question, clearly requesting elaboration beyond mere yes/no. And it is not some random snippet but central to possibilities as could occur on this website in terms of who you come across.

To me, running into another person that you know on this site unexpectedly is a positive experience. It might not be to everybody, but then positive and negative experiences never are as they are highly fickle beasts.

I have had people do much worse things to me, and that has given me perspective.

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RE: Ever been "caught" on Collarme? - 11/2/2012 4:37:21 PM

MissToYouRedux

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I "caught" someone from work here. Of course his using his work photo didn't make it much of a "catch".

And no, of course I didn't say anything. Why would I?

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RE: Ever been "caught" on Collarme? - 11/26/2012 11:25:06 AM

oreogirl

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On another site I ending up chatting with a supervisor from my job. I always knew he was a kinkster. The switch part threw me for a loop though.

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RE: Ever been "caught" on Collarme? - 11/26/2012 1:47:48 PM

Thaz

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My Wench just made a profile on here...hardly a 'catch' moment but I'm in giggles over the number of messages shes getting ....she wouldnt credit me when I told her how many messages she'd get :-)

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RE: Ever been "caught" on Collarme? - 11/26/2012 3:42:17 PM

TheLilSquaw

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I've never been "caught" on CM but when I 1st started doing fetish videos, I had a friend of mine yell at me because he was surfing sites and he came across me. Lol We laughed about it.

I figure I am grown and I am far from ashamed of what I do privately or business wise.

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RE: Ever been "caught" on Collarme? - 12/5/2012 11:26:51 AM

Ambyant

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Friends of friends have found Me, and we've friended, but pretty much leave it at that on any site.

Always ~ Wikked

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RE: Ever been "caught" on Collarme? - 12/10/2012 11:36:03 PM

TakingHerAway

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No. Unfortunately.

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