RE: BDSM Vs. seeking a purpose?

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RE: BDSM Vs. seeking a purpose? - 11/3/2012 8:03:51 AM

theRose4U

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Couple thoughts
Through this whole thing bi-polar keeps coming to mind. I want but I don't, I need but will self distruct, its good except when its not.
I think the "I'm kinky (or drunk or using or or or) save me" is a raft you try to jump on to avoid feeling (or thinking). Drugs & alcohol numb feelings but create consequences. But if someone else is in charge life will be better"...yeah that's it their choice make my life better.
Sorry if this comes off rough but family has more than one addict hanging from the tree. Kink sounds like just another way to keep from feeling, thinking or being responsible for your own actions. You drink because of a bad day, use because you can't cope, spit in a partners face & sabotage because "they expected things" like honesty, working, sobriety... Kink makes "its all THEIR fault" you used or got a dui or got fired from your job.
While I think the leadership aspects of kink would be beneficial I think you have more work to do before those opportunities would be more than another pressure release. Personal responsibility is vital in recovery!! No one else can get you to the point where "its all their fault" turns into "damn I blew it & need to work on that". A sub that at least has some ethical basis to work from can create an actual relationship & basis for personal improvement. Finding someone to "save you from yourself" is a recipe for disaster not just for the person foolish enough to try to help you.

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RE: BDSM Vs. seeking a purpose? - 11/3/2012 8:13:25 AM

theRose4U

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

Lots of people seek power exchange in a VERY co-dependent way. Its one of two things, they seek someine more fucked up than they are and control them because they cant control themselves OR they seek.someone to fix the mess of their life...

Same thought line I'm on, just IMHO fixing someone else is too much freaking trouble!! Brushing and polishing is one thing, but if an entire make over is required what was the point in choosing that person?

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RE: BDSM Vs. seeking a purpose? - 11/3/2012 9:18:43 AM

NuevaVida

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quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml

I wanted to give NV a big old snog for this...

Aww, well a big old snog right back atcha!

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RE: BDSM Vs. seeking a purpose? - 11/3/2012 8:46:27 PM

hairlover123

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Therose..although I respect your opinion,i do not really agree with a lot of what you said. Just because some one struggles with something does not mean that they are just completely broken and useless, which is kind of how your comments points toward. I am not looking for some one to come and fix me like a am a a totaled car. Some people do like to help though, some don't.. Just the way it is I suppose

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RE: BDSM Vs. seeking a purpose? - 11/4/2012 1:53:55 AM

theRose4U

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Umm humm all my fault "because I just don't understand". Nowhere did I say you were broken & useless...you came up with that all on your own.

I have this great dane that hates water. She insists of going in the pool then stands on the bottom & repeatedly drowns herself over & over putting her own head under the water, then looking around for someone to rescue her when all that needs to happen is get out of the pool & stop putting her own head under the water.

If you're done drowning yourself...get out of the pool. If you're not, don't get butt hurt I'm not running to your rescue. Its all well & good that "some people want to help" but those that would try torescue you from yourself are called co-dependent

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RE: BDSM Vs. seeking a purpose? - 11/4/2012 2:13:05 AM

Toysinbabeland

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Um, why not think about keeping the dog out of the pool for a while ? I'm just saying.

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RE: BDSM Vs. seeking a purpose? - 11/4/2012 2:53:02 AM

hairlover123

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Never said you said that directly, just how i took it..and again your comment after makes me assume the same thing :)

My butt is not hurt BTW, it feels perfectly fine thanks :D

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Post #: 27