RE: Feelings of guilt, confusion...??

RE: Feelings of guilt, confusion...?? (Full Version)

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Toysinbabeland -> RE: Feelings of guilt, confusion...?? (11/4/2012 2:50:49 AM)
In this age of technology you did not set an alarm? There is no rest for the weary.

Lilviper091 -> RE: Feelings of guilt, confusion...?? (11/5/2012 12:21:52 AM)
Lol... Good idea... It's a great feeling! Highly recommend it :-) Thank you for your help :-)

artemiss -> RE: Feelings of guilt, confusion...?? (11/5/2012 11:44:34 AM)
Wait? Unavailable??? Do you mean at the moment due to life commitments like work? Or truly unavailable? As in you cant reach him for extended periods? Or emotionally unavailable? Currently I am in a similar situation, where we are incorporating both a punishment dynamic and higher levels of pain. So I understand where you are coming from, but haven't worked through it enough to offer any advise. What I can say, is if he wasn't there for me sort through my reactions. If he hadn't shown me above all else he had my mental and emotional well being as central concern, I would have run. It is ok to break down, to feel wrecked, but he should be there to help put you back together if you need it.

culareD -> RE: Feelings of guilt, confusion...?? (11/5/2012 12:42:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Kana Talk to him. I can tell you from my experience that I hate punishing. When I do I detach, grow colder and harder. Why? Because I'm about to hurt the one I love and that all sorts of sucks. And I can understand him being distant. Sorry if this goes against the grain, but some cats don't do aftercare post punishment-they want you to feel it, want you to process things and have to experience them precisely so it doesn't happen again. But he's the only one who can answer your questions. Talk to him, not us THIS. If you have peeps, would you punish and not provide a reason, or follow-up. I wouldn't. And there should be a clear distinction between punishment and funishment. If things are not CLEAR, then talk to him.

Lilviper091 -> RE: Feelings of guilt, confusion...?? (11/5/2012 1:33:27 PM)
Okay... I need to clarify... we've talked about this all yesterday. I needed to process what I was going through before we got into it.... I had no idea what to expect and in his defense, I obviously seemed fine when I left him... he did try to contact me twice during the evening and left messages to let me know he was checking if I was okay... but I (underline) missed his calls. Unavailable meant that it was simply the weekend and I wasn't sure about interrupting it. As he told me, I could've emailed and he would've rung me... but as I couldn't vocalize what I was feeling or why... I didn't see it would have been of any use! The fact that everything kicked in about a day later, was somewhat more confusing. As everyone (of help) has mentioned... after care is important and we were on a time schedule sadly... so it was a little "newbie-ness" on my part, not knowing what I needed after the punishment or understanding how it would effect me. My advise to YOU (lol) just go slow... make sure you ARE okay and brought back 'down' afterwards! :)) Thanks for your time and words. xx

Lilviper091 -> RE: Feelings of guilt, confusion...?? (11/5/2012 1:41:39 PM)
Thank you :) All talked out and sorted. Thank you for your input though! :)

theRose4U -> RE: Feelings of guilt, confusion...?? (11/5/2012 4:48:30 PM)
If you have a dom "on a time schedule" that needs to be emailed because its the weekend...he's married! Being a sub doesn't mean an after thought while wondering where the stink is coming from.

artemiss -> RE: Feelings of guilt, confusion...?? (11/5/2012 5:23:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: theRose4U If you have a dom "on a time schedule" that needs to be emailed because its the weekend...he's married! Being a sub doesn't mean an after thought while wondering where the stink is coming from. Yup yup, most people are more accessible on the weekends. Ya know, because they aren't working?

littlewonder -> RE: Feelings of guilt, confusion...?? (11/6/2012 8:47:49 PM)
The guy doesn't get bathroom breaks, lunch breaks, cigarette breaks? Sneak personal calls or texts while at work? Yup, sorry but I think he's married also. I mean, most people have cell phones these days.

Lilviper091 -> RE: Feelings of guilt, confusion...?? (11/8/2012 12:58:12 AM)
I was on the time schedule due to my kids :-)

Lilviper091 -> RE: Feelings of guilt, confusion...?? (11/8/2012 1:03:44 AM)
Hmmm the issue I had wasn't the lack of contact.. We have an understanding there. It was the emotional effects of the discipline.. Which we've since sorted, talked out and things will happen differently next time.. As being me, there is bound to be one or two. Every Dom on here is single? As I explained earlier, he did attempt to contact me afterward.. But I was driving etc. I work weekends... Maybe I'm a minority among the minority. Thanks for your time :-)

Lilviper091 -> RE: Feelings of guilt, confusion...?? (11/8/2012 1:05:39 AM)
To be honest lol I'm not concerned if he is. He's told me he's not and whether or not that's the truth is his karma, not mine... And not yours. I started the thread concerning the emotional conflicts. But thanks for your opinion :-)

Lilviper091 -> RE: Feelings of guilt, confusion...?? (11/8/2012 1:07:40 AM)
Lol!! I did not expect to fall asleep. ;-)

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