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RE: Insecurities - 1/3/2006 3:24:54 PM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
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quote:

Something a dominant once said to me, that I like to reflect on in times of insecurity, is this: "Someday, perhaps you will realise that everything does not dangle from a thread."

Thank you.
Hugs!

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RE: Insecurities - 1/3/2006 3:40:50 PM

yA4me

Posts: 14
Joined: 10/17/2005
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To help remove the insecurity, it is useful to find out what basic need is being threatened by the situation that causes the insecurity. If the basic need can be fulfilled in spite of the insecurity, it may be proven that the particular defense mechanism that is causing the insecurity is not longer useful to the person, and can then be discarded...

Respectfully,

yA

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RE: Insecurities - 1/3/2006 7:13:07 PM

sultryvoice

Posts: 368
Joined: 3/31/2004
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I have insecurities just all people do. Some just hide it better than others. Within a D/s relationship, the Dominant needs to know these so he is able to deal with them effectively. If he doesn't, he could do more harm than good.

Talking this over is a good way to take steps to change this. Together, you work through them. That is the basis of relationships, trust. You trust each other to work through the insecurities and move forward.\

I have my own to deal with as does others..

Respectfully,
sultry

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RE: Insecurities - 1/3/2006 8:29:26 PM

windy135

Posts: 437
Joined: 10/17/2005
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Is it just I but my insecurities change with my mood? Sometimes something will bug me or upset me and at other times I don't care. Could be a hormone thing. We are of the animal species so we learn from our environment including our past. Just like a lab rat that hits a lever and it produces a shock and maybe a small food reward. The rat is going to be hesitant maybe insecure about hitting the lever again.. Rat doesn’t want to get hurt but still needs to eat. haha I hope this makes sense I’m pretty tired at the moment.

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RE: Insecurities - 1/3/2006 8:50:35 PM

SweetSarijane

Posts: 3788
Joined: 10/7/2005
From: KC area Missouri
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quote:

I guess you could say I'm asking "you" to pull from your own experiences with diffrent issues. Maybe you could expound on one you have dealt with.

Probably one of my biggest insecurities has always been with my body and size. Never really felt like I was pretty or sexy, etc. Thanks to a very good Dom friend of mine, that particular insecurity is all but gone anymore.

He very simply, over time, built up my trust in him and showed me myself through his eyes. He always made some positive remark to me on how he saw me, what I was to him. Never once did he ever so much as hint at my looks and size in any negative way, and if I did so, he would get very upset with me and correct me. He never tolerated anything derogatory about me no matter who it came from. He conditioned me over time to see myself in a positive way, to realize my value, my true beauty. Now it's difficult for me to not see myself as he did and does.

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RE: Insecurities - 1/5/2006 4:55:16 PM

HoosierScorpio

Posts: 164
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So many have insecurities of one kind or another when they come into the lifestyles. Some seek therapist but allot are not lifestyle friendly so you got to be careful. You need to come to understand were they are coming from and why. Some times a scene you may do will bring out your hidden insecurities you never knew were they come from. Some times do scenes so they get past their fears and the best thing to understand is to build trust with your Master. I some times will have a sub/slave to do journals for me so they can explore them. Some issues are so painful you may never learn to get over them but it will take time. You need not get too over whelm and take is one day at a time. Do not look all of them and get over whelm for it can cause allot of fear or stress. Patients is also the key to learn how to get past them or come to understand them. Time is the key to come to understand them and open communication with your Master. Do not be afraid to open up no matter how fearful you are because of them. I feelings about therapist is that do not help but some times will make them worse. You need to come to understand were they are coming from and why. This is my viewpoint and my own experience in life. This is what has work for me. Hoosierscorpio

< Message edited by HoosierScorpio -- 1/5/2006 5:10:31 PM >

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RE: Insecurities - 1/5/2006 6:09:29 PM

Sensualips

Posts: 1013
Joined: 10/8/2005
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After talking with many Doms, I have noticed that most have some kind of insecurity.

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RE: Insecurities - 1/6/2006 3:25:15 AM

MasterLark

Posts: 249
Joined: 5/12/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Sensualips

After talking with many Doms, I have noticed that most have some kind of insecurity.

Ah the secret is out. Certainly everyone has insecurities, even the most confident and swaggering. It is what you do with your insecurities and how you respond that matters. The key is resilience.

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RE: Insecurities - 1/6/2006 4:02:56 AM

fyreredsub

Posts: 3403
Joined: 10/7/2005
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just like in any other type relationship, yo have to try to not let past baggage run the show for you.
talk to the other involved let them know your triggers

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"Accordingly, men must then either fulfill their nature, or deny it, and in denying their nature, deny us ours, for ours is the complement to theirs. " Renegades

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