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RE: masochism - 6/15/2006 2:51:21 PM

denika

Posts: 619
Joined: 8/30/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Tikkiee

I can only answer for myself and why I choose to seek out pain. It''s not to reach subspace, and it's not to reach orgasm. For me, when I feel the pain, I feel more alive. I like the feeling that it brings. The more pain, the more I feel.
Some have even gone so far as to say that I push for more as a sort of competition within myself; they may be correct. I have never tried to analyze the WHY.

Well, said. I have very simular feelings, exept I do like to reach orgasm by pain as well. *s*
I push for more to try and explore my own boundries as well as to experiment with what I like or don't like (not that it makes a diffrence really, my Top does what He likes *s*) but I want to understand and experience as much as I can, I'm kind of a greedy masochist that way. I didn't walk intot he community with the knowledge I was a masochist, but it was the things I saw that led me in that direction, that made me go... 'dear god that is amazing, wish it was me *s*) when most people were backing away or trying to reassure me that T/they are heavy players, not everyone is like that.. I had thought, how sad T'/they looked like they were having fun and so many others at the public event just looked stiff and mechanical, at worse almost phony.

Pain isn't for everyone, my husband puts it simply 'I'm wired diffrent' lol. I am also a bottom, but not all bottoms are mosochists and vice versa same for submissive or slaves.

I'm not sure if that helped any *s*
I like to think of myself as a happy,adjusted person with a good career, social skills and I like to be played until I'm a bruised and bloody mess *s* -risk aware consensual- pain isn't used as a punishment but as a reward.

denika

(in reply to Tikkiee)

Post #: 21

RE: masochism - 6/15/2006 4:24:57 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

I only know my own experiences which I will attempt to share.

The first time I felt sexual arousal through pain play was through nipple clamping. Yes, I felt pain, but I also felt a definitely jolt and I instantly became aroused from the pain. I have never achieved orgasm through pain play, but I do achieve deeper subspace from it. For some orgasm is secondary to the pain, and since I am new to this I do not know if that is the case for me.

There are some elements of being able to "endure" through it, but that is not a major part of my present dynamic (he isn't into pushing my pain threshold). I love looking at the marks later, and the feeling of sensitivity that last for days after a good beating too.

Basically nothing gets me hot for sex faster than pain play, I can get excited other ways, from sensual kissing and touching for example, but it is like a gradual building of heat.. like starting a car and letting it warm up. On the other hand, inflicting sensual pain on me is like gunning my engine and going from 0-100 miles per hour in 10 seconds... I hope you understand the analogy.

Hope my experience helps you understand masochism...

< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 6/15/2006 4:26:10 PM >

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

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Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to sabswife)

Post #: 22

RE: masochism - 6/17/2006 12:37:23 AM

hizgeorgiapeach

Posts: 1672
Status: offline

(fast reply here)

I feel like the proverbial "odd man out" at the moment. I'm very definately a pain junkie. I don't space from it - that's only actually happened due to Pain stimuli twice in 22 years. I do, however, tend to orgasm from certain Types of pain. I agree with whoever it was who mentioned good pain vs bad pain. Unlike all men according to the constitution, all pain was NOT created equal. The excruciating pain from having a tooth pulled a couple of days ago has had me on some fairly serious painkillers - it's not enjoyable, I don't like it, there's not a damned thing erotic about it. The excruciating pain from an hour long session of being tied to the bar, flogged, cropped, and whipped with a quirt on the other hand - loved it, orgasmed from it several times during the infliction, crave more of same on a fairly constant basis.

Several aspects have been mentioned - the challenge to myself, pushing my own tolerances/limits, gaining a definate sense of pleasure from the marks left behind, gaining a definate sense of erotic pleasure from the infliction itself. Though the marks in and of themselves are rare - there's only been one playpartner in my history who managed to leave marks that weren't gone in less than 24 hours, and I Enjoy the marks - they remind me later of what I felt while they were being applied, which can be exceptionally erotic in and of itself.

Thing is, if it's something that falls into the "bad pain" catagory for me (ie, something *I specifically don't enjoy) - then it makes no difference whether HE gains pleasure from inflicting it, I'm still not going to gain any enjoyment out of it. It's simply going to hurt and be unpleasant. I've never been real big on the concept of "liking" something simply because it makes someone else happy. I'm not going to smile and think it's grand simply because he gets off on it. And I'm not going to keep my mouth shut and let him THINK that I consider it ok simply because he gets off on it, either. Call me greedy and self centered when it comes to sado-masochism (it won't be the first time, and to a degree it's even correct) but when I'm in a pain situation - whether receiving or giving - it's all about ME, my pleasure, my desires, my heightened senses, my orgasm, my preferences, tolerances, and limits. What he wants, or enjoys, at that point - I'm usually in a headspace that honestly doesn't Care what he particularly enjoys as long as *I am enjoying it.

(Yes, I know... doesn't sound very dadgum submissive of me, does it? It's not, and I'm quite OK with that - I've never claimed to be exceptionally submissive in the first place.)

_____________________________

Rhi
Light travels faster than sound, which is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Essential Scentsations

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 23

RE: masochism - 6/17/2006 2:38:05 AM

champagnewishes

Posts: 1310
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Orange County
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

The physical experiences that most people consider "painful" is directly converted into a pleasureable experience. How or why I have no idea- I wish I did.

I guess i fall into this category. Pain has never been anything more than the end result of a great ride. ....similiar to the feeling you get when surfing...paddle, paddle paddle, your board catches, pop up, drop down into the wave and bang...effertlessly your propelled forward. At that second, the conscious world does not exist...you are harnessing natures energy.....such a heady experience.

_____________________________

Nirvana cannot be described, it is only understood truly by a person who has experienced it.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 24

RE: masochism - 6/17/2006 5:41:43 AM

twicehappy

Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

I am definitely a masochist; i can and do enjoy the pain from various types of bdsm play in and of itself.

I do reach subspace fairly quickly and i will reach orgasm if allowed to from intense whipping or just about any other form of pain that is intense. I'd have to say that the orgasm can be more intense in some ways but i attribute that to a higher level of arousal at that time. I have reached orgasms equally intense from simple vanilla sex.

Every orgasm affects my entire body so i cannot comment on that one except that the longer the build and play time the more intense the orgasms become, that may due to the fact that with each orgasm play related or not i become increasingly ready for the next one.

_____________________________

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

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(in reply to sabswife)

Post #: 25

RE: masochism - 6/17/2006 5:49:33 AM

impishlilhellcat

Posts: 4379
Joined: 3/26/2006
Status: offline

I love pain play. When I first started out I wasn't into pain at all I hated it. Eventually I became to love it and crave it. I don't orgasm from it although sometimes I hit subspace from it. It's not about either of those for me either. In my mind it's rather complicated why I am drawn to it.

1. It helps me release emotions I don't normally like to deal with (crying)
2. It's a definite stress reliever for me. (when I get stressed I crave more pain and to be used mercelessly)
3. I feel closer to Him when we engage in pain play
4. It pleases Him. He's a sadist and he enjoys pain play. Whether it be the end of the day and it's his frustrations from a day of work or just because.

_____________________________

Anyone who says they have only one life to live must not know how to read a book - Unknown

(in reply to trippingdaisy)

Post #: 26

RE: masochism - 6/17/2006 6:01:06 AM

bandit25

Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline

This is such an interesting topic...He and i were discussing something similar to this just this morning. I guess I view pain a bit differently. See, I don't see it as pain, per se, more as a sensation. At the start, yes, it hurts. But as it becomes more intense and as I get more aroused, it's just sensation. It almost (almost mind you) ceases to hurt. And I go to subspace from pain and I orgasm from pain (well, I do need some stimulation also.

(in reply to impishlilhellcat)

Post #: 27

RE: masochism - 6/17/2006 6:10:19 AM

spankmepink11

Posts: 1310
Joined: 9/28/2005
Status: offline

I would define myself as a masochist as well. I enjoy the pain, and all the "indirect results" that LA stated. I also feel the "competition with oneself" that Tikkiee stated...or as i've always considered it, the challenge, of surpassing my levels of endurance. And other times it can be downright spiritual.
I'm not sure if others have noticed this, but in my experience, my desire to surpass those levels of endurance is directly related to the level of inspiration or the depth of the connection i feel with my partner.
I can't say that i orgasm per se as a result (although it does light the fire and get the juices flowing).....but the feelings it inspires and the ensuing headspace is orgasmic in porportion of intensity if not beyond. (i hope that made sense?)

I experiment with transforming incidental "bad pain" ie the hammer and thumb scenario , trying to let it flow through me , and put myself in the space i'm in when i draw pleasure from it to make the pain more tolerable, if not quite a pleasurable experience
Any one else ever do that?

Disclaimer added...i don't seek out or self inflict the "incidental" bad pain , it's just ....incidental

< Message edited by spankmepink11 -- 6/17/2006 6:22:53 AM >

(in reply to twicehappy)

Post #: 28

RE: masochism - 6/17/2006 7:45:26 AM

SingleTail69

Posts: 24
Joined: 4/2/2006
Status: offline

just wanted to add that there are all differents types of pain. some people whether they are hardcore masochists or not may love the feeling of a certain whip (like the SingleTail ha!) but hate a cane or a crop.

and lets not underestimate the effect of the endorphin rush caused by pain play! the mix of the hightened state plus the mindfuck caused by the acquiescence to pain can be very powerful.

very few people can orgasm from pain alone, but for lots of people it acts as a trigger. catch them at the right time (primarily during some other sexual stimulation) and introduce a little pain and it can ramp up the effect and sometimes trigger the entire thing.

hope this helps!

(in reply to sabswife)

Post #: 29

RE: masochism - 6/17/2006 9:19:57 AM

Fawne

Posts: 462
Status: offline

Hi - Another little something to add. Pain and marks - bruises, welts, blood are not necessarily the same. Something can be exceptionally painful, but leave little or no mark at all.

Thank you to all the brave souls who responded to this thread.

(in reply to SingleTail69)

Post #: 30

RE: masochism - 6/17/2006 10:11:07 AM

shyfem

Posts: 101
Joined: 2/16/2006
Status: offline

I consider myself a bit of a masochist. The reason being is I only like certain kinds of pain. The kind I seek out is mostly spanking, I love the sting of the paddle. I also like nipple clamps. I have never orgasmed from pain, although like many have said it does get the "juices flowing"

. I do seek out the type who are into giving "sensual pain" as I like to refer to it.

For me though, the greatest thrill is knowing I am giving the person I am playing with pleasure.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

But I love the marks, the attention, the being passive, the endurance, the submission for THEIR pleasure, the fear, the being used....I love all of those INDIRECTLY. So for me, it's the gaining of all of those indirect things that make the pain experience worthwhile for me.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 31

RE: masochism - 6/17/2006 10:16:55 AM

impishlilhellcat

Posts: 4379
Joined: 3/26/2006
Status: offline

I enjoy certain types of pain more than others. But I do have a penchance for all types of pain. I enjoying caneing and flogging more than anything else.

_____________________________

Anyone who says they have only one life to live must not know how to read a book - Unknown

(in reply to shyfem)

Post #: 32

RE: masochism - 6/17/2006 12:10:25 PM

sabswife

Posts: 188
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

thank you to everyone who has replied, both here and via mail, i very much appreciate it you have given me a lot to think about-- for example the different kinds of pain is not something i really took into consideration before. i just saw pain as pain. among other things that have opened my eyes.

again i thank everyone for sharing their information --- it was very kind of you to share such a private thing with me on and off the boards.

_____________________________

"If you look inside your heart, You don't have to be afraid--Of what you are. There's an answer, If you reach into your soul--And the sorrow that you know Will melt away."

(in reply to impishlilhellcat)

Post #: 33

RE: masochism - 6/18/2006 8:35:31 PM

Hercuckslave

Posts: 103
Joined: 5/21/2006
Status: offline

i personally don't get it either. but "whatever raises your mast". i am a slave, 24/7, collared, owned, and have been for 5 years. i am NOT a masochist at all. i do suffer under Mistress's whip to please her. i do find a measure of satisfaction from that, but only after i have gritted my teeth and made it through it.

"no pain, no pain". that's my motto

(in reply to trippingdaisy)

Post #: 34

RE: masochism - 6/28/2006 12:33:12 PM

lanwolf

Posts: 78
Joined: 10/31/2005
Status: offline

Ok i have been called at times a heavy masochist and i really dont know why (yes ok i liked the chain flogger that denika suggested and got maybe but i wont say that in person). i can relate to a few things said here though about liking one type of pain and not another. i hate canes but that being said i think it is more they were used as punishment back when i first started off in the lifestyle and it might just be i am relating to that.
i find that the pain is relaxing and a grat way to walk away from all the stress and everyday life issues that have been bothering me after a good heavy session i just dont feel the stress anymore. Cutting is a new way i have found to enjoy that lifting feeling. As the knife cuts me open it is a very cleansing feeling that fills me and no i do not do this on my own its no fun without One doing the cutting on me.

(in reply to Hercuckslave)

Post #: 35

RE: masochism - 6/28/2006 9:12:38 PM

ToxicMarie

Posts: 4
Joined: 3/5/2006
Status: offline

i am not a masochist at all. i have learned to take quite a bit though, to please my Mistress' sadistic desires. For me, I have to concentrate really hard to channel the pain. I don't get any satisfaction from the physical sensations, but I do find peace and satisfaction in knowing that I am pleasing her. When the pain play gets really hard, I keep saying to myself in my head that its "for her".

for me, I figure that I have so many joys in serving Mistress, that I have to take the good with the bad. such is part of being a slave. I suffer through the pain, but then I get the honor of kneeling before her with my head resting in her lap. :)

Marie's m

(in reply to trippingdaisy)

Post #: 36

RE: masochism - 6/28/2006 11:55:00 PM

cutew

Posts: 15
Joined: 11/4/2005
Status: offline

I have enjoyed this thread a great deal. I am not sure honestly where I fall, Master calls me a pain-slut. I started out on this journey because I felt a need for the pain, I didn't wish/want/need the control and such, I simply wanted the pain. Over the years I have found I enjoy the control, pleasing Him all the rest.
   For me, there is many times of pain, those that my mind just transfers to pleasure, why, again I have no idea, just the way my body and mind react. I was taught how to better this ability as well. Then there is pain that my body feels as pain, I am more than happy to take, because it pleases Him, that wicked laugh, or simple smile as he knows the pain runs through my body, at times the stuggle inside me to allow it. The challenge of NOT using a safe word he has made me promise to use if it is too much. Some pains create a pleasant feeling, some cause me to have an orgasm, and some I simply take to please him, which is very pleasing to me as well.
    Of course there is the down right out and out, OUCH, that nothing will make me like, Mmmmm, stubbing the toe, can't see much fun in that! My knee poping out, NOT much fun there, NO interest in sex or such when that one happens! But if it is from his touch, his wish for me to feel it...for me, it is a wonderful welcome pain.
    I should point out, pain has always been a pleasant thing for me, NEVER used as punishment, because I have always gotten some form of joy from the pain. (although I am sure if he was angry with me I wouldn't, but that is more so because I know he isn't happy with me, rather than what he would be doing to me).
    As for more intense orgasms or the such, as I stated above, certain pains can cause this effect all on there own. But all and all, there are times I can't orgasm without pain and there are times that I don't want any pain too...although with Master I think I would always enjoy some ;-). It is different as well. The build up of the whip, not feeling the pain, but simple pleasure from it, until it explodes, in complete pleasure all over your body!
    I think for me, sexual pleasures in vanilla terms are certain area's of your body, but with the pain, it is like your whole body is on fire, not just certain parts...as the pain/pleasure runs through out your body, filling every inch, every body part, before you release it! It just takes over every thing, waves and washes away every thing else, and is pure pleasure through out your whole body.
    I think a lot of it comes down to the build up in the mind however...to me pain is a pleasure, just as much as other activities. Your mind is the best sexual organ you have. If you find a certain pain/item/motion is a turn on, it will add to all the rest going on, in your mind and body. Which is why the fact of taking the pain for his pleasure, works for so many submissive/slave, it all comes back to the mind. My mind finds the needles, such a rush, that it causes an orgasm, as I feel them! But then again He has a vibrator that does the same thing to me as well, without the pain?

(in reply to ToxicMarie)

Post #: 37

RE: masochism - 6/29/2006 2:58:14 AM

srllile7

Posts: 75
Joined: 3/30/2006
Status: offline

Pain mmm pain for me i love it. No the pain itself for me does not make me orgasm but really really helps me have the best orgasm ever afterwards in between for the next week hehhehe what have you. I find i really enjoy the anticipation or the fear of the pain thinking about it feeling the just the lightest touch of pain showing what is to come sends me in a tizzy. I really really love when pain and pleasure are mixed a nice sensual rub followed but the unexpected slaps. It heightens my senses tons. I lay waiting wanting and not knowing what ill get ohh drives me mad and has me dripping thinking about it. Hahahah and dont even get me started on nipple torture i dont think i could live with out it, that may be the one way i have an orgasm off of pain but i really dont think of nipple 'pain' as pain its more enjoyment for me.

(in reply to cutew)

Post #: 38

RE: masochism - 6/29/2006 3:52:16 AM

ZenDragoness

Posts: 372
Joined: 1/21/2006
From: Berlin/Germany
Status: offline

I am a masochist. I love pain and nowadays it is difficult to reach orgasm without pain. Luckily my beloved is a sadist, so i get my pain.

A concept i have a hard time to understand is the 'i endure pain because the other is a sadist' one, i renember vividly as my husband, said: "I am so proud, that you endured the pain for me.". That throw we out of the glowing, happy space i was in, because i never endure pain for the other. I love to get it, and it is very fine, when the other is happy to give it, but i want the pain firstly for myself.

I get totally aroused by it and i can orgasm only because of the pain.

_____________________________

aka Morgaine289

http://goldenerkern.blogspot.com/

(in reply to sabswife)

Post #: 39

RE: masochism - 6/29/2006 4:37:13 AM

lostsoul92468

Posts: 32
Joined: 5/31/2006
Status: offline

Hey Lucky,

I have to say thank you. You just gave me a defination that i did know i had a question to. I know i enjoy pain for the sake of it and i do get orgasm from it also. The threat of the unknow element is a big turn on for me so now i know i am a Masochist.

Hugs for your wisdom.

(in reply to trippingdaisy)

Post #: 40

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