RE: Not a newbie, not a Guru either, seeking advice on mental submission

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RE: Not a newbie, not a Guru either, seeking advice on ... - 11/12/2012 8:00:02 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
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Oh I know bi-polar extremely well. It sounds like an excuse to me but whatever. Good luck.

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RE: Not a newbie, not a Guru either, seeking advice on ... - 11/12/2012 10:38:15 PM

theRose4U

Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
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Ok normally I let others choose their path based on my general experience...BUT

Let me lay a giant can of whoop ass out here:
-your children deserve better
-mom being bat shit crazy is bad enough without dad "letting her do it"
-children model parents, as someone that has had to clean up 4 boys after selfish & batshit had children...this affects them a great deal!
-why doesn't mommy want us is NEVER something that should have to be explained
-file for divorce & end the drama for you, kids & us :P
-supervised visitation (to ensure med compliance) is easy arguement
-change the locks
-change passwords/ codes on everything
-most states won't allow closure of joint accounts but one or the other can empty it
-cut off credit cards joint or in your name
-have her base pass canceled
---the biggie-respect yourself enough to say "no more the kids & i deserve better"
-as the elephant cleaner of something similar, hire a nanny with background in child development...sometimes someone that's not mom, dad, mommys boyfriend or daddys girlfriend is helpful for kids, they get an independent view as well as someone willing to fight both sides if necessary for their needs to be heard. Its amazing what you learn eating watermelon & letting them talk about their day...its sometimes a lot heavier than sponge bob!

ETA yes feel a little decieved by the manage the model deal. You told us she needed a collar...not a net!

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RE: Not a newbie, not a Guru either, seeking advice on ... - 11/12/2012 10:51:22 PM

theRose4U

Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Salinedion

I actually feel sorrier for the other guy.......

I say tart her up, slap a ribbon on her kooch & mail that shit to crazy town! Have fun c-ya bye bye!!
Being his problem now is a blessing in disguise

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Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

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RE: Not a newbie, not a Guru either, seeking advice on ... - 11/12/2012 11:03:14 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U

Ok normally I let others choose their path based on my general experience...BUT

Let me lay a giant can of whoop ass out here:
-your children deserve better
-mom being bat shit crazy is bad enough without dad "letting her do it"
-children model parents, as someone that has had to clean up 4 boys after selfish & batshit had children...this affects them a great deal!
-why doesn't mommy want us is NEVER something that should have to be explained
-file for divorce & end the drama for you, kids & us :P
-supervised visitation (to ensure med compliance) is easy arguement
-change the locks
-change passwords/ codes on everything
-most states won't allow closure of joint accounts but one or the other can empty it
-cut off credit cards joint or in your name
-have her base pass canceled
---the biggie-respect yourself enough to say "no more the kids & i deserve better"
-as the elephant cleaner of something similar, hire a nanny with background in child development...sometimes someone that's not mom, dad, mommys boyfriend or daddys girlfriend is helpful for kids, they get an independent view as well as someone willing to fight both sides if necessary for their needs to be heard. Its amazing what you learn eating watermelon & letting them talk about their day...its sometimes a lot heavier than sponge bob!

ETA yes feel a little decieved by the manage the model deal. You told us she needed a collar...not a net!

I wanted to say all this but just didn't have the energy.

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RE: Not a newbie, not a Guru either, seeking advice on ... - 11/12/2012 11:14:20 PM

theRose4U

Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
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Lw- I hate sponge bob with a passion I can't describe & carry a sponge bob key chain everywhere, becase I told them it means I'm thinking about & love them no matter where I am. None of them my kids but would go xena warrior domme on anyone hurting them with shit the adults are old enough to know better!!

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Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

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RE: Not a newbie, not a Guru either, seeking advice on ... - 11/13/2012 8:03:21 AM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Deceptakon

Thanks again, and yes to the pattern of leaving and usually apologizing and trying again.
Honestly, if the shoe doesn't fit, gotta stop trying to fit into them, when there are others that do.

I am going to go forward like I do.

I mean this with all my heart, please, please, get therapy for yourself, find out why you are co~dependent with this woman and heal yourself, even uf only fir your kids. To put up with that for 9 years shiws you are the other half if her crazy. Clearly more grounded and sane.

Frankly, there is far more here than just the BP, she is a narssacistic attention whore and that never ends well.

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RE: Not a newbie, not a Guru either, seeking advice on ... - 11/13/2012 2:17:36 PM

Deceptakon

Posts: 26
Joined: 1/26/2011
Status: offline

Honestly thank you everyone for your responses. They came from various people, and were varied from such, but was good reading regardless.

I am fine, I really came here for some ideas on Mental submission, and that night was informed of these events that have happened.
The suggestions here were helpful and some I've already been acting on. I understand that many will have their opinions on the matter, as I did ask for them. But the jumping in and telling me certain things without knowing even the whole story, is a bit much. It"s not too different from what has been said, just wasn"t the whole nine years, the last 2 years have been the trouble spot. I have noticed increased actions relating to the BP, becoming worse with every new mania episode. I maintained her med schedule, and know she was on them, but honestly this is exactly how her mania episodes work. Not that it's an excuse for her actions, but it's an understanding of how chemicals in her brain are not responding correctly.

I am not allowing her visits to my home unless it's for strictly family time, after that she can carry on to wherever the wind takes her. The only thing I have done wrong, is try too hard to give the kids their mom back. You can call it co-dependance, enabling, or Not a dominant personality, but it simply boils down to, I love and I care about my family ( yes even their mom ), and I will push through mountains of shit just to make sure I gave it my all and tried all that I could. My feelings on the matter altogether will subside with time, and will become a learning experience, but that's about that. I'm not one to give second chances, so this where the feet meet the road.

Again, I'd like to thank you all for reading this thread, we have a broad group of people here all with some keen heads on their shoulders, glad to of gotten to speak with some of you.

Have a great night / day.

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Post #: 27