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LadyHugs -> RE: at His request (6/15/2006 8:22:19 PM)
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Dear chercher, Ladies and Gentlemen;
As a dominant, I would have to ask how long was this 'simple' list of daily tasks. Sometimes slaves/submissives bite off more than they can chew, as far as tasks they can complete and leads a dominant to "believe" and or "assume" that you can complete them all.
As a dominant, I would also wonder and explore; if it was a form of manipulation as to cause more attention to yourself--being it negative or positive, any would be better than none at all. This really comes to the front, when the relationship gets in a rut and no "affirmation" of submission is obtained without provoking a dominant into an action or behavior to feed your submission because, the dominant has lapsed in their duties to feed your submission on their own.
Most people who are accustom to negativities and failure will do things un-wittingly that causes negative reactions. It is a comfort level per se.
It also has no surprises--as, anticipation of the results is known ahead of time. Sometimes, the mental and emotional thread that runs in your mind prevents you from success and pleasing someone. So, it is sabatoged just on how a person approaches it. It is similar to saying; "I want to be happy but....." The "but" is the switch to trip happy to sadness. It is like someone's praises on how well you did and then they say but...then floods you with negatives and cancels your praises and leaves you deflated. This is why I personally make a point of getting the negatives out first, address them and praise last--that is the last thing I say and one will remember.
Success is learned. So, perhaps as a dominant I would not give a list but one task. As soon as you learn how much it pleases the dominant in doing the one task well, you can learn how it feels to be a success and not feel as a failure. Submission should feel like a 'high' and a state of happiness words fail to express well. Serving should be from wanting to and not having to do service, such as tasks. As you feel the joy of doing something pleasing, then perhaps add another task. It takes time and patience.
That said, I will also say; that slaves need to do their part also. A Master cannot be expected to haul your ashes and his also. You need to communicate what helps him, to help you.
Sometimes, it is a matter of "thinking" that one is slave and are frustrated due to reality and not the romance, the sex, the play and such of every day 'M/s' and or 'D/s' relationships. It is finding that recipe that makes you -- you. Perhaps you are slave but, not for this particular Master. Perhaps you aren't slave at all but, submissive. You hold the key. You are the master of your choices, your will, your power, your journey, your goals and the success and or failures in your life. You hold the key and or answers, dominants are the ones who help you find them.
Knowing the consequences for failure of doing the Master's will is known and has degrees. Perhaps the Master will also give you the rewards of success, so you know what success will bring, such as a few hours BDSM fun. That is between you both.
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs
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