needlesandpins
Posts: 3901
Status: offline
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i thought i'd come back to this and add some more. there are lots of moments with my son that have made me feel great. the first time i've tasted something that i really love the flavour of, and the moment you think wow this is great. having a horse give me its trust. also every time i've helped my mares deliver their foals, and then seeing the foal try to get up for the first time to suckle. i had more magical moments with my old stallion than i can even count. being told 'i love you' the moment that i realised i had drempt of my current playmate a couple of times two years before we even met, and that my ex and i argued about it. i had alot of good times with my ex, but in the end it was the day after i threw him out for good and my workmate called him my fella that i felt good. i replied with 'he's not my fella anymore', and they were shocked as i hadn't said anything. they said they were sorry for what they had said, and that we had spilt up. i told them not to be, they hadn't known and i was alright about it. realising in that moment that i was truely alright about it because i was glad to finally know the truth, know that it was over, and most of all knowing that i nolonger loved him so i wouldn't feel what i had the first time we spilt up. knowing i nolonger doubted myself was a great feeling. i'm glad i can look at him and feel nothing but contempt, no regret for the split, no doubts. needles
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I deserved better. Not than you, but from you.
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