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Advice on Seeking a Female Led Relationship - 11/17/2012 10:20:00 PM   
sub1717


Posts: 2
Joined: 5/1/2010
Status: offline 		Hello all. I have been into this lifestyle for going on 10 years and while I have had some fun times with dominant women I have never been able to achieve my ultimate goal of a long-term relationship. I realize that it is a lot harder than finding a "vanilla" partner but does anybody have any advice or websites that deal with just FLR's? I have found this site to have a lot of Fin Dommes and Professional dommes but not so much for long-term. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Advice on Seeking a Female Led Relationship - 11/17/2012 10:38:12 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Hi there! Welcome to the forums.

First, forget about an FLR site. If there is one, it'll likely be a scammer or tribute site.

With that out of the way, why are you limiting your search to online? Florida has tons of kinkster groups.

If you do continue to look online, try to rewrite your profile so it reflects you as a person. All the stuff about you knowing in your heart that you're submissive - the Dommes have read that all before. Talk more about your hobbies.

Add pictures. Even if you want to hide your face, show yourself doing manly stuff - chopping wood, fixing a car, riding a horse, playing a musical instrument, dressed up for the opera.

And don't forget (if it's true) to tell women the thing they all love to hear "I like conversation." And then mention your favorite topics.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to sub1717)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Advice on Seeking a Female Led Relationship - 11/18/2012 5:39:18 AM   
Killerangel


Posts: 1169
Joined: 8/3/2010
Status: offline 		You are looking for something that that is fairly rare, there aren't all that many lifestyle female Dominants out there. They tend to be the smallest group in BDSM circles. It's nice that you have a goal in mind, but it's going to take some work. There aren't sites online where they all hang out that I know of. Honestly, your chances are better in real life and going to munches or kinky gatherings. Sounds like more work, but you'll probably have more luck.

(in reply to sub1717)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Advice on Seeking a Female Led Relationship - 11/18/2012 6:19:24 AM   
QueenRah


Posts: 380
Joined: 6/3/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sub1717

Hello all...while I have had some fun times with dominant women I have never been able to achieve my ultimate goal of a long-term relationship. I realize that it is a lot harder than finding a "vanilla" partner...


Really? Finding a D/s relationship shouldn't be any much harder than finding any other relationship. In fact, with the nature of the dynamic already understood, I feel it should be easier. There is just the added facet of BDSM. That being said, I'm still having a struggle finding "submissive" men who don't make it all about their kinks. Ironic, me thinks.

quote:

I have found this site to have a lot of Fin Dommes and Professional dommes but not so much for long-term. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.


Lose the sports and move closer to me.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

With that out of the way, why are you limiting your search to online? Florida has tons of kinkster groups. If you do continue to look online, try to rewrite your profile so it reflects you as a person. All the stuff about you knowing in your heart that you're submissive - the Dommes have read that all before. Talk more about your hobbies.

Add pictures. Even if you want to hide your face, show yourself doing manly stuff - chopping wood, fixing a car, riding a horse, playing a musical instrument, dressed up for the opera.

And don't forget (if it's true) to tell women the thing they all love to hear "I like conversation." And then mention your favorite topics.


Actually, Steven, what women love to read is, "I like listening." [insert another wink, here]

1717, DS has, pretty much, covered it. It appears that you've implemented some of his suggestions. Pictures - good, as long as they are of you and no one else, are fairly recent and show you as you are. More about what you like to do, vanilla-wise - also good.

Getting involved in your local kink community is a good way to meet real, flesh-and-blood people, get yourself known, and, potentially, meet that special someone with whom you can explore relationship.

If you intend to pursue any Ladies, online, behave like a person and treat her like a person. Make your intended feel special. Tailor your first contact to reflect that you have an interest in her and what interests her. Read profiles and do what they tell you. There's more. But, this message is getting long and I have work to do, elsewhere.

Good luck to you!

QR

_____________________________

Life's too short to drink cheap booze!

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Advice on Seeking a Female Led Relationship - 11/18/2012 6:34:36 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: QueenRah

Actually, Steven, what women love to read is, "I like listening." [insert another wink, here]

QR


Sorry, Queen Rah, I missed that. Could you say that again?



_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to QueenRah)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Advice on Seeking a Female Led Relationship - 11/18/2012 7:44:48 AM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline 		Agree with Stevan on a number of points...useful, intelligent & thinking with brain above your shoulders would be a new thing & thus a commodity. Biggest & hardest thing for males (not just subs) to grasp is we ARE NOT kink delivery systems & acting like that is the case, is the fastest way to piss us off!!

Local munch is a great idea. Stylish conservative dress...no leather or latex. Think dressing for a really hot first date.

As for online...uhh we're right here!! FetLife may also have links of events close to you



_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Advice on Seeking a Female Led Relationship - 11/18/2012 10:25:12 PM   
VioletViolence


Posts: 169
Joined: 1/30/2012
Status: offline 		Not sure if we're allowed to link to other sites here, but one website that I know of that's geared specifically towards FLR's and seems to actually have real women on it is www.aboutflr.com
I enjoy the site because it's not a porno-esque version of what a FLR or D/s relationship is like. Hope this helps :)

(in reply to sub1717)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Advice on Seeking a Female Led Relationship - 11/19/2012 2:50:47 AM   
RumpusParable


Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline 		Oh god, I just signed up for aboutflr.com and cannot find out how to cancel my account! What a HORRIBLE SITE!

"This site is about females leading loving relationships... Using things like chastity and controlling his behavior, being kinky is fine BUT FEMDOM IS TOTALLY WRONG, PORN IS TOTALLY WRONG, IN TOPICS WE'VE PUT UP ABOUT IT (a major focus of this site, actually) YOU WILL NOT SAY ANYTHING GOOD ABOUT WOMEN BEING DOMINANT OR YOU WILL BE LABELED AS SOMEONE OBSESSED WITH FANTASY AND PRON AND NOT REALLY INTO FEMALE LED RELATIONSHIPS AND BE CHASTISED FOR BRINGING THAT WOMAN-HATING STUFF UP!!!!111!1!1!1!1!1!1".

Apparently I'm not in a REAL female led relationship with my husband because I consider myself dominant and him submissive, I don't put him in chastity or deny him porn.

I'm one of those filthy, evil, relationship-ruining FemDoms.

< Message edited by RumpusParable -- 11/19/2012 3:02:45 AM >

_____________________________

Relationships come and go, but plastination is forever.

I generally use fast-reply. If directing my post at someone specific I will indicate so.

Minimal summary: Artist, Disabled Veteran, Vegan, Pornographer, and Agender dominant female.

(in reply to VioletViolence)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Advice on Seeking a Female Led Relationship - 11/19/2012 11:00:09 AM   
VioletViolence


Posts: 169
Joined: 1/30/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RumpusParable

Oh god, I just signed up for aboutflr.com and cannot find out how to cancel my account! What a HORRIBLE SITE!

"This site is about females leading loving relationships... Using things like chastity and controlling his behavior, being kinky is fine BUT FEMDOM IS TOTALLY WRONG, PORN IS TOTALLY WRONG, IN TOPICS WE'VE PUT UP ABOUT IT (a major focus of this site, actually) YOU WILL NOT SAY ANYTHING GOOD ABOUT WOMEN BEING DOMINANT OR YOU WILL BE LABELED AS SOMEONE OBSESSED WITH FANTASY AND PRON AND NOT REALLY INTO FEMALE LED RELATIONSHIPS AND BE CHASTISED FOR BRINGING THAT WOMAN-HATING STUFF UP!!!!111!1!1!1!1!1!1".

Apparently I'm not in a REAL female led relationship with my husband because I consider myself dominant and him submissive, I don't put him in chastity or deny him porn.

I'm one of those filthy, evil, relationship-ruining FemDoms.


Really? I guess I haven't dug into the site enough, shame on me! So disappointing they're taking that attitude :(

(in reply to RumpusParable)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Advice on Seeking a Female Led Relationship - 11/19/2012 11:36:53 AM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		As someone who prefers the company of "real" female dominants, its been my experience,that the problem is a lack of decent, grounded, squared away male submissives.

They tend to not want a worm, they want someone who they are proud to accompany them,in public, someone,who,is capable of creating a comfortable life together.

Am I wrong Ladies?

(in reply to VioletViolence)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Advice on Seeking a Female Led Relationship - 11/19/2012 5:00:25 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sub1717

Hello all. I have been into this lifestyle for going on 10 years and while I have had some fun times with dominant women I have never been able to achieve my ultimate goal of a long-term relationship. I realize that it is a lot harder than finding a "vanilla" partner but does anybody have any advice or websites that deal with just FLR's? I have found this site to have a lot of Fin Dommes and Professional dommes but not so much for long-term. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.



(I actually don't know what you're asking).

(in reply to sub1717)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Advice on Seeking a Female Led Relationship - 11/19/2012 5:38:57 PM   
MissToYouRedux


Posts: 867
Joined: 1/23/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

As someone who prefers the company of "real" female dominants, its been my experience,that the problem is a lack of decent, grounded, squared away male submissives...



I actually don't think there's a lack of decent grounded squared away male submissives. The problem is more that there are so many*others* that one has to wade through to get to them.

Or maybe I just have phenomenal luck and great discernment.

_____________________________

- Miss Marie


(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Advice on Seeking a Female Led Relationship - 11/21/2012 8:38:48 AM   
CntryCouple


Posts: 1
Joined: 10/29/2012
Status: offline 		There are other sites out there specifically geared toward FLR whether you agree with the site or not, they are available. Read them and take what you like, leave the rest, just the same as you do with this site.
In one search I found 3 >

http://www.she-makes-the-rules.com/ She Makes The Rules
http://atherfeet.myfastforum.org/index.php At Her Feet
http://www.mensubmit.com/ Men Submit

(in reply to MissToYouRedux)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Advice on Seeking a Female Led Relationship - 11/21/2012 12:35:26 PM   
seekingOwnertoo


Posts: 1323
Joined: 8/1/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sub1717

Hello all. I have been into this lifestyle for going on 10 years and while I have had some fun times with dominant women I have never been able to achieve my ultimate goal of a long-term relationship.

Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.




Yes, it is hard! Met many Great Ladies and interacted with a few more.

But ... the "dating pool" is smaller ... and even if you connect .. distance, as well as current life situation(s), can ultimately mean 'no go" ...

So good luck!

I have been trying for ten years .. too! Know you are not alone.





< Message edited by seekingOwnertoo -- 11/21/2012 1:20:26 PM >

(in reply to sub1717)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Advice on Seeking a Female Led Relationship - 11/21/2012 4:54:12 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sub1717

Hello all. I have been into this lifestyle for going on 10 years and while I have had some fun times with dominant women I have never been able to achieve my ultimate goal of a long-term relationship. I realize that it is a lot harder than finding a "vanilla" partner but does anybody have any advice or websites that deal with just FLR's? I have found this site to have a lot of Fin Dommes and Professional dommes but not so much for long-term. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.



Bud...you seem sincere....I appreciate your post.

Here's how it works:

I've found some fabulous women on this site, one whom I would give the world to but, we can't find common ground.

1) You're young so, you probably have some preconceived notions of beauty.

Lemme tell you something prescient: Beauty is where you find it and...beauty is a wonderful thing but....if you find it, don't hold on to preconceived notions. The most UNBELIEVABLE woman I ever met wouldn't meet anyone's assumptions of what would grace Penthouse or Playboy....but to me, she's the sexiest gawdamned thing that ever walked on two legs. Still is, always will be.

(And she pisses me off daily....we live 3,000 miles apart, spent numerous times together and, we'll likely never live under one roof, even as I've loved her for more than a decade and will go to my grave enamoured).

2) You need to find what you're looking for but be aware....what you're looking for may NOT be what you find and....what you find may take your breath away. Be prepared for anything.

3) Shit happens....and, shit happens when you least expect it. (See #2).

4) That's about it.



< Message edited by LookieNoNookie -- 11/21/2012 4:55:19 PM >

(in reply to sub1717)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Advice on Seeking a Female Led Relationship - 11/21/2012 6:26:49 PM   
PrincessDonna11


Posts: 289
Joined: 8/7/2011
Status: offline 		I agree that a relationship shouldnt be harder to find then vanilla.....honesty is the foundation....

(in reply to LookieNoNookie)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Advice on Seeking a Female Led Relationship - 11/25/2012 10:34:44 AM   
sub1717


Posts: 2
Joined: 5/1/2010
Status: offline 		Thank you everybody. Much appreciated.

(in reply to PrincessDonna11)
Profile   Post #: 17
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