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the big move - 6/16/2006 4:31:33 AM   
enigmabrat


Posts: 2383
Joined: 8/1/2004
Status: offline 		Ok
I came here a few years ago with the permition of the Dom (that I have been with 4 years long distance real life)that I am still in collar under because while we both love eachother he lives far from me and cant be all that I want.
See I live in NY and he in Florida we are r/l but hardly see eachother... he knows I am seeking here but at the same time we wish to be together.
Things in my life prevented me from even considering moveing to be near him and things in his life prevented him from moveing near me.
But now things on my end have changed and something very bad that happend to me here in NY has lent itself to me moveing to be closer to Him to go to school...And actually with the blessing of my family to make the move to florida for school...
But Im not sure what to do... do I move to be with him I mean do i make the desition of what school to go to based on the fact that I can be close to him
I love him very much... even though I know in the end it will never be exactly what I had invitioned and I know that in time I may need to move on from him though i will always love him and he will always be my friend if not always my Dom

ok so basicaly what i want to know is do i settle for a school based on the fact i can be close to him do i even consider beeing close to him a good cradential for attending a school

maybe Im just scared at the thought of actually going through with this maybe Im scared to leave the nest I dont really know

_____________________________

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Wooden paddle $50.00 on Master card
ratten cane $48.00 on Master card

a Master that can use them all Priceless
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: the big move - 6/16/2006 4:42:26 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		In my opinion you should move based on your decision on what school is best for you to attend. Education is very important and lasts a lifetime, relationships unfortunately do not always. If it was meant to be with this Dom it will wait until you have finished your education.

~Lashra

(in reply to enigmabrat)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: the big move - 6/16/2006 5:05:25 AM   
LadyJulieAnn


Posts: 979
Joined: 6/29/2005
Status: offline 		I would encourage you to make your life goals (education) a priority.  The relationship can fall into place after that if it's meant to be.

Be well,
Julie

< Message edited by LadyJulieAnn -- 6/16/2006 5:06:58 AM >

(in reply to enigmabrat)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: the big move - 6/16/2006 5:08:20 AM   
heartfeltsub


Posts: 1641
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline 		Does the school close to him have your major, is it a good school, will it prepare you for the career that you want to pursue, will you be able to live further away from your family? Only you know the answers to these questions, but those are the questions that need asking. Even if you found a school closer to him, maybe not in Florida, that did all those things, lessening the distance between you would give you both more time together and more time to decide if you wish to pursue a closer D/s relationship.

(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: the big move - 6/16/2006 5:13:12 AM   
enigmabrat


Posts: 2383
Joined: 8/1/2004
Status: offline 		the schools Im looking at there are all great schools that i want to attend
and going to s achool in florida would only mean a 2 hour plain ride instead of a 2 hour car drive eather way Id be away from home
and i would be going home rather regularly anyway...

I guess Im just scared about makeing the next move

_____________________________

Leather strap $85.00 on Master card
Wooden paddle $50.00 on Master card
ratten cane $48.00 on Master card

a Master that can use them all Priceless

(in reply to heartfeltsub)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: the big move - 6/16/2006 5:14:06 AM   
aellea


Posts: 91
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		all my life i did the temp jobs to be able to be with my kids when it was needed... now divorced and alone, i don't have that 'permancy' that jobs seek nor the education NOR the retirement.  get your education first at all costs and the rest of your life will fall into place.  you can't go back and every second you tary you lose... money, retirement and value!!!

(in reply to enigmabrat)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: the big move - 6/16/2006 5:15:01 AM   
TNstepsout


Posts: 1558
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline 		Oh she has met him, she says they just don't get to see each other often.

Hmmmm sounds to me that if you really REALLY wanted to be with him, you wouldn't even consider another school because this would be your big opportunity to be near him. So there must be some other reason you aren't sure you want to choose a school close to him. Are you enjoying having the opportunity to meet other new people and potential Doms? Since you say you realize he's not the man for you for life, perhaps in the back of your mind you are thinking you might miss the one who is? What other factors are really going on in your head?

(in reply to LadyJulieAnn)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: the big move - 6/16/2006 5:37:52 AM   
MsWillAdore


Posts: 27
Joined: 5/30/2006
Status: offline 		Just a couple of opinions here:

Seems to me that if you felt He was your "One", there would be no need in searching for someone on collar me.  Actions speak louder than words.  As far as him giving you permission to get on this site, doesn't that tell you something?  Maybe he is looking for someone else as well. 

You never ever ever put a relationship whether it is vanilla or D/s over your education.  I agree with aella, take every moment you can to make yourself more "marketable" in the business world.  Gaining a degree/education isn't somethng you will look back on and say..."I wish I would have waited to do that."  Personally, as a Domme, I would be so proud of my subbie (if I had one) if he had decided to further his education.  A submissive is a shining reflection of his/her Dominant & it is nice to have a subbie that has some "knowlege."  *giggle*  Personally, I think there is something in the water in the Cleveland area that doesn't allow for the subbies here (on CM and from Cleveland) to have some ambition.  LOL!  >tossing bottled water to all of the Cleveland subbies<  Kidding Kidding.

Anywhoo... get yourself together... do what is best for YOU & if the relationship is meant to be, it will fall into place.


(in reply to TNstepsout)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: the big move - 6/16/2006 6:21:00 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		It's fine to include being close to him as PART of the decision, but ultimately you should go with the best education for your specialization/financial security as most priority.

I was long distance with my first owner throughout my college years.  It sucked but I was in the perfect school for me and we both agreed that was more important in the LONG TERM.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to enigmabrat)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: the big move - 6/16/2006 7:59:39 AM   
sabswife


Posts: 188
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		i have to agree with the above posts, the fact that you hesitate speaks louder than your desires.  if you really wanted to be with him and felt it was really right, you wouldn't hesistate.  so that said i would definately say go for education route and secure your future in that way.


jmo

_____________________________

"If you look inside your heart, You don't have to be afraid--Of what you are. There's an answer, If you reach into your soul--And the sorrow that you know Will melt away."


(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: the big move - 6/16/2006 8:35:24 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		I would not move to another state for someone that may or may not want me. I would move out of state to go on with my education. If this dominant was more serious about a future with you I would definitely say "Go for it!". If you are going to school only to be with him, well you are wasting your time in that school. I love taking classes, so I do not have a frame of reference for your question.

Part of me wants to tell you school will benefit you no matter what, but the other part of me knows that if you only do it to look busy while you pursue a dom, it probably isnt going to benefit you. Good luck to you, and I hope it all works out.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to enigmabrat)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: the big move - 6/16/2006 8:49:08 AM   
impishlilhellcat


Posts: 4379
Joined: 3/26/2006
Status: offline 		I don't think you should "settle" for a school just to be with him. If he loves you as you say and you love him as you say then maintaining an LDR while hard can work. I a year or so ago was looking at "settling" for a school to be with my SO. Ultimately after discussing it at length W/we both decided it wouldn't work while we enjoyed living together and being together and loved each other we were looking ahead at the future. You cannot sacrifice your education or possible career opportunities for a relationship especially if your not sure how you will fit together real time. With that being said if the school is a good school then go for it! If you need to transfer to a different school for a better education go for that instead. I've found that life has it's own way of working things out.  <not hijacking this post just giving an example here> FOr instance my SO and I are currently 800 miles apart I was offered a job and a free opportunity to work on my PhD which is going to be moving me a new distance of 1600 miles away from him. While I'd rather be moving to be with him, we both know that it's much better if I right now move to where the offer is. However both of us are committed to making the relationship work and between visits and other little things we make it work. Once again I say if you both love each other and there's a better opportunity somewhere else take it. If moving to FL offers you the opportunity of a good school and a solid relationship go there.

< Message edited by impishlilhellcat -- 6/16/2006 8:50:22 AM >

_____________________________

Anyone who says they have only one life to live must not know how to read a book - Unknown

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: the big move - 6/16/2006 8:59:25 AM   
wandersalone


Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline 		Personally I feel your education is the priority right now, choose a university based on its courses and relevence to your area of study, not based on how close you will be to your dom.  If the best school happens to be closer to him that is great but don't settle for something 'less' education wise based upon a relationship which you already seem to have some questions about based upon your OP.

all the best in your study, it's an exciting next stage of your life.

(in reply to enigmabrat)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: the big move - 6/16/2006 9:37:48 AM   
Tamerofwild1s


Posts: 1765
Joined: 12/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: enigmabrat

Ok
I came here a few years ago with the permition of the Dom (that I have been with 4 years long distance real life)that I am still in collar under because while we both love eachother he lives far from me and cant be all that I want.
See I live in NY and he in Florida we are r/l but hardly see eachother... he knows I am seeking here but at the same time we wish to be together.
Things in my life prevented me from even considering moveing to be near him and things in his life prevented him from moveing near me.
But now things on my end have changed and something very bad that happend to me here in NY has lent itself to me moveing to be closer to Him to go to school...And actually with the blessing of my family to make the move to florida for school...
But Im not sure what to do... do I move to be with him I mean do i make the desition of what school to go to based on the fact that I can be close to him
I love him very much... even though I know in the end it will never be exactly what I had invitioned and I know that in time I may need to move on from him though i will always love him and he will always be my friend if not always my Dom

ok so basicaly what i want to know is do i settle for a school based on the fact i can be close to him do i even consider beeing close to him a good cradential for attending a school

maybe Im just scared at the thought of actually going through with this maybe Im scared to leave the nest I dont really know


I know this situation well .. I have even given someone hear this very same advice  
you need to weigh all the reasons you want to move .. the "pro's" and the "cons" of moving .... when cconsidering moving that far you need to make sure that when you do it is going to be something your sure is going to last .. you need to besure that in the event something happens and your not ending up with him that you havea back-up plan. NEVER go to be with someone "blind" ... make sure you will be allowed to work and do schooling . make sure that you will be able to gain employment that you will be able to survive on. you have to sit back without outside interference and make sure that what you are doing is in the best interest of you.
I personally told another slave she needed to go further away from me . because in the long run it was going to be more beneficial to her to take the position that was further away .... Your Dom in Fla. should have that interest in his heart for you too. If moving is going to be beneficial to your situation, and you have support from family and friends in the situation, then I say by all means go for it . but take the time to soul search on all the good points and bad points and see where that leads you .....

"Our Souls will lead us where our true destiny lies as long as we trust our own souls" ~ Master Ravin

< Message edited by Tamerofwild1s -- 6/16/2006 9:40:09 AM >

_____________________________

A building get torched. All that is left is ashes. I used to think that it is true about everything - family, friends, feelings - but now I know that sometimes if love proves real, and two people are meant to be together, nothing can keep them apart ~

(in reply to enigmabrat)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: the big move - 6/16/2006 7:09:59 PM   
Kree


Posts: 118
Joined: 6/13/2006
Status: offline 		(besides that I didnt ask for peoples thoughts on my abuse simply what I should do about finding a Dom when i wasnt willing to give oral)

The above comment was one you made in another thread you started.  I thought it interesting that you now say you have worn someone's collar for 5 years, and that he gave you permission (oops permition... just wanted you to know what I meant) to post on here.  If you are collared, do you not feel that you are disrespecting your collar and your alleged Master by trolling for yet another Dominant?  You slammed someone for cheating in another thread, why doesnt that apply to you?

Perhaps the answer is simple... reality is your second language.


_____________________________

Author of "Nytewhispers"

Power whispers, it has no reason to yell

(in reply to Tamerofwild1s)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: the big move - 6/16/2006 7:55:28 PM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		I'm confused and am not sure how to answer your question. In this post you say:
quote:

ORIGINAL: enigmabrat
I love him very much...

and that you have been collared to him for four years real life.....but in your profile you are looking for another Dom and it says that:
quote:

26-I am a vergin 

who has:
quote:

43-Iv never beein in love  


So which is it?

< Message edited by mistoferin -- 6/16/2006 7:56:24 PM >

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to enigmabrat)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: the big move - 6/16/2006 8:07:12 PM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		I'm with Erin...which is it?

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: the big move - 6/16/2006 8:47:37 PM   
Tamerofwild1s


Posts: 1765
Joined: 12/5/2004
Status: offline 		welllllll .. now that we came to this point I suppose we should also ask which persona wrote that .. one person says shes a very college educated person ... 4 degrees I believe ...... yet the english and spelling is that of someone who never made it too high school .... and I believe somewhere in there was some very serioous bi-polar or maybe multiple personalitys

_____________________________

A building get torched. All that is left is ashes. I used to think that it is true about everything - family, friends, feelings - but now I know that sometimes if love proves real, and two people are meant to be together, nothing can keep them apart ~

(in reply to bandit25)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: the big move - 6/17/2006 2:19:39 AM   
mons


Posts: 2400
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline 		abrat  greeting
 
Lashra is so right school is so important, I know love is all and everything to someone your age i think you younger but not a very young one so go to school and what ever works out with you and him. I am so glad i did get a good education it helps so when many things realtionship do not work out. ok and good luck
 
best wishes \
mons/jane

(in reply to enigmabrat)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: the big move - 6/17/2006 7:01:44 AM   
xxmstrchasxx


Posts: 423
Joined: 5/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

even though I know in the end it will never be exactly what I had invitioned and I know that in time I may need to move on from him


I think you should go to the school you want based on your statement above.

_____________________________

XxMasterChasxX

(in reply to enigmabrat)
Profile   Post #: 20
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