Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Addressing new dominants.


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> Addressing new dominants. Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Addressing new dominants. - 11/22/2012 2:02:56 PM   
emmacarrie86


Posts: 41
Joined: 8/20/2012
Status: offline 		Hi

I have also posted this in ask a dom but want to know ther submissives points of view too.

I was just wondering what is everyones take on the ettiquete when a submissive talks to a new Dom?? I already have a Master who I love to bits but I am on this site for friends, however a dom i am talking to has been telling me i HAVE to address him as Sir and he has been telling me that my Dom is doing things wrong for instance anal training etc and has been telling me the "correct way" and bossing me about. He also calls me subby.He is always very pushy with me and demands my 100% attention as well. Isnt BDSM interpretive?

I feel that until I know someone well enough and they have gained my trust i shouldnt HAVE to call him anything.

What is everyone elses opinion??
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Addressing new dominants. - 11/22/2012 2:24:39 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		You've already posted this in Ask a Master. I suspect the mods will delete this thread (they don't like cross posted threads). All sorts of folks will answer your question there, not just male Doms.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to emmacarrie86)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Addressing new dominants. - 11/22/2012 4:55:16 PM   
GingerFreak


Posts: 2
Joined: 10/20/2012
Status: offline 		I lwould tell him where to get off! Just because he is a Dom and you are talking to him does not give him the right to treat you like his property! He is probably trying to assert his authority when he clearly doesn't need to as you have already said you are just looking for friends! He is on an ego trip and I would avoid!

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Addressing new dominants. - 11/22/2012 4:57:45 PM   
emmacarrie86


Posts: 41
Joined: 8/20/2012
Status: offline 		Thanks :)

he has been blocked and deleted on skype at the request of my master

(in reply to GingerFreak)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Addressing new dominants. - 11/22/2012 5:01:01 PM   
GingerFreak


Posts: 2
Joined: 10/20/2012
Status: offline 		No probs! Just weed out the knobs and best of luck for the future!

(in reply to emmacarrie86)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Addressing new dominants. - 11/22/2012 5:07:42 PM   
VerypickyDom


Posts: 2
Joined: 3/31/2012
Status: offline 		There is one step that no one here has said... as a matter of communications I would also recommend that before you had done anything permanent that you reminded him that you were already taken and that he had no authority over you what so ever....

(in reply to GingerFreak)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Addressing new dominants. - 11/22/2012 9:14:05 PM   
DomMeinCT


Posts: 2355
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: emmacarrie86

Thanks :)

he has been blocked and deleted on skype at the request of my master



You were having discussions about anal "training" with a complete stranger who was demanding things of you? Bigger issue before you worry about how to address him is how did you allow the conversation to get to that point in the first place.

_____________________________

The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances:
if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
~ Carl Jung

(in reply to emmacarrie86)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Addressing new dominants. - 11/22/2012 9:28:50 PM   
smartsub10


Posts: 865
Joined: 4/23/2010
Status: offline 		There are so many twatfaces out there who can't make time with a vanilla woman so they come on this site with demands of "Call me Sir!!", "On your knees, bitch" and the like.

Block. Delete.

_____________________________

Beauty fades...stupid is forever
~ Judge Judith Scheindlin
____________________________________________

“Be that self which one truly is" ~Soren Kierkegaard

(in reply to emmacarrie86)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Addressing new dominants. - 11/22/2012 10:07:45 PM   
Toppingfrmbottom


Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline 		Id laugh "in his face say yeah nice try but no " then stop talking to him.

_____________________________

One world under lube with vibrators and dildo's for all! quote from the sex toy 101 book

(in reply to smartsub10)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Addressing new dominants. - 11/22/2012 11:36:56 PM   
MstSebastian


Posts: 169
Joined: 3/19/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: smartsub10

There are so many twatfaces out there who can't make time with a vanilla woman so they come on this site with demands of "Call me Sir!!", "On your knees, bitch" and the like.

Block. Delete.

I had the reverse of that happen once. I had a sub boy contact me on the other side, and in the FIRST email he was calling me "Master." I told him that he doesn't have to call me "Sir" or "Master." He just screamed back (in all caps, of course) that I was "A FAKE WANNABE" because "REAL DOMS DEMAND RESPECT IMMEDIATELY." Yeah, that was a laugh for me.

_____________________________

The greatest gift a person can give is the gift of their willing submission. It is a gift more precious than gold and more fragile than glass. It is my responsibility to make sure that, every day, I am worthy of that gift.

(in reply to smartsub10)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Addressing new dominants. - 11/22/2012 11:46:17 PM   
seekingreality


Posts: 599
Joined: 8/11/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: emmacarrie86

Hi

I have also posted this in ask a dom but want to know ther submissives points of view too.

I was just wondering what is everyones take on the ettiquete when a submissive talks to a new Dom?? I already have a Master who I love to bits but I am on this site for friends, however a dom i am talking to has been telling me i HAVE to address him as Sir and he has been telling me that my Dom is doing things wrong for instance anal training etc and has been telling me the "correct way" and bossing me about. He also calls me subby.He is always very pushy with me and demands my 100% attention as well. Isnt BDSM interpretive?

I feel that until I know someone well enough and they have gained my trust i shouldnt HAVE to call him anything.

What is everyone elses opinion??


Here's my opinion: As a sub, I am not submissive to the world, but only to those I choose to be submissive to. Just because someone self-identifies as dominant doesn't mean I have to like them, respect them, listen to them, or address them in any way other than how I want to. They have no rights with me other than those I give them. If I were you, and I was talking to this guy, I'd say: "You're being an asshole. Quit calling me 'subby." My name is X. You can address me by my name and I'll address you by your name. And if that's too much for you, then you can move on. i won't mind one bit. So it's choice: Be an asshole and watch me yawn and hang up, or be real and see what happens."

(in reply to emmacarrie86)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Addressing new dominants. - 11/23/2012 5:20:12 AM   
autumnember


Posts: 185
Joined: 8/30/2012
Status: offline

(in reply to seekingreality)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Addressing new dominants. - 11/23/2012 6:30:02 AM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		It must be the left over turkey in my system but all i could think of when i read this title was a little turkey carcass dressed in a tuxedo.........

(in reply to autumnember)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Addressing new dominants. - 11/23/2012 6:41:30 AM   
Toysinbabeland


Posts: 1693
Joined: 3/4/2012
From: the other end of Cx's leash
Status: offline 		What does your Master say regarding intimate conversation with another?

_____________________________

*Smitten fox* that's all you need.

(in reply to kiwisub12)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Addressing new dominants. - 11/23/2012 8:44:46 AM   
chatterbox24


Posts: 2182
Joined: 1/22/2012
Status: offline 		hee hee hee.

Reminds me of the guy who insisted he would own me. Send pics, cam, tell me how he wanted addressed. I hadnt even met the guy, I am not into the internet I own you bit, he was a dom ya know, so if he was interested, of course he was gonna own me and of course I was gonna mind and send nasty pics and of course I was gonna cam at his insistance. NOT NOT NOT............what a wanker. Needless to say we are no longer talking.

You can be plain as day sometimes and people dont get it. I hate to say this, but it has proven true. ALot of guys who say they want to be friends also, 90% end up down nastyville. They have an agenda. No offense to those minority sincere guys out there. Just an observation.

_____________________________

I am like a box of chocolates, you never know what variety you are going to get on any given day.

My crazy smells like jasmine, cloves and cat nip.

(in reply to Toysinbabeland)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Addressing new dominants. - 11/23/2012 8:51:56 AM   
poise


Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DomMeinCT

You were having discussions about anal "training" with a complete stranger who was demanding things of you?
Bigger issue before you worry about how to address him is how did you allow the conversation to get to that point in the first place.

This x 15584622911656684!
If you were sitting on a bus, and the passenger next to you wanted you to call him HisRoyalHeinyHumper, and
to discuss how to properly screw you in your butt, would you stay seated and carry on the discussion?
Online should be even easier to figure out. Do Not Respond!

_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to DomMeinCT)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Addressing new dominants. - 11/23/2012 1:15:02 PM   
autumnember


Posts: 185
Joined: 8/30/2012
Status: offline 		lol i like you

(in reply to poise)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Addressing new dominants. - 11/25/2012 9:29:14 AM   
wandersalone


Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline 		I had someone say I could call him x (his real name) or sir. I call him by his real name. If I had not been given a choice we would not be meeting for a coffee next week

_____________________________

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. Martin Luther King
Godmother of the subbie mafia
My all time favourite threads
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=2002501
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=790885

(in reply to autumnember)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Addressing new dominants. - 11/25/2012 10:36:04 AM   
MAINEiacMISTRESS


Posts: 1180
Joined: 9/12/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: wandersalone

I had someone say I could call him x (his real name) or sir. I call him by his real name. If I had not been given a choice we would not be meeting for a coffee next week


It should always be a choice...and then if anything develops submission should happen over time, not jumped right into. I hate the idea of "forcing" someone to do something...because that means it's not coming from their HEART. I want them to ENJOY doing it. It should be a mutual thing that grows in both of us. I'm not interested in a fast-track "SUBMIT TO ME NOWWWWW!" situation (even though I enjoy engaging in Protocol together with My subbies whom I know). Developed over time D/s can mean a MUCH stronger friendship/relationship.

And a side-note to you subbies: many of you are equally guilty of putting a rush on things. You are so eager to find a Dominant that you jump right into it (eager puppies practically peeing yourselves with glee at having caught the attention of a Dominant). I've been contacted by some subbies who want to call Me "Mistress" right off the bat, want to kneel at My feet, etc., and go through the whole protocol thing immediately. Awww, that's charming but I really like to develop a FRIENDSHIP first, then see how things advance. Don't rush things, many Dominants don't like that approach either and will think you aren't sincere.

Personally I think the rush types "burn out" quicker because they skip the "exploration" phase of getting to know each other.

--MM

(in reply to wandersalone)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Addressing new dominants. - 11/25/2012 10:41:45 AM   
MAINEiacMISTRESS


Posts: 1180
Joined: 9/12/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: emmacarrie86

Hi

I have also posted this in ask a dom but want to know ther submissives points of view too.

I was just wondering what is everyones take on the ettiquete when a submissive talks to a new Dom?? I already have a Master who I love to bits but I am on this site for friends, however a dom i am talking to has been telling me i HAVE to address him as Sir and he has been telling me that my Dom is doing things wrong for instance anal training etc and has been telling me the "correct way" and bossing me about. He also calls me subby.He is always very pushy with me and demands my 100% attention as well. Isnt BDSM interpretive?

I feel that until I know someone well enough and they have gained my trust i shouldnt HAVE to call him anything.

What is everyone elses opinion??


My Collared subbies have a line they use on other Dominants who try to dominate them: "FUCK...OFF!"

You have GIVEN your submission to your Dom. Any other Dominant should have the brains to RESPECT that.

(in reply to emmacarrie86)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> Addressing new dominants. Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.105