disheartened :/ (young sub female seeking long term monogamous dom)

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disheartened :/ (young sub female seeking long term mon... - 11/23/2012 2:12:03 PM

ElayneF

Posts: 2
Joined: 11/21/2012
Status: offline

i just want someone to take me as I am... to accept my flaws and work to sort them out. never been owned before. i'm impatient to find the right owner. i'm looking for emotional as well as physical. sigh.

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RE: disheartened :/ (young sub female seeking long term... - 11/23/2012 2:39:33 PM

autumnember

Posts: 185
Joined: 8/30/2012
Status: offline

You just joined two days ago?
Welcome to the forums. I hope you find what you are looking for

(in reply to ElayneF)

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RE: disheartened :/ (young sub female seeking long term... - 11/23/2012 2:40:24 PM

absolutchocolat

Posts: 1392
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welcome to the forums.

(in reply to ElayneF)

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RE: disheartened :/ (young sub female seeking long term... - 11/23/2012 2:45:58 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: autumnember

You just joined two days ago?

And she's been sober only one of those days.

Good luck finding what you seek.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to autumnember)

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RE: disheartened :/ (young sub female seeking long term... - 11/23/2012 2:56:56 PM

ElayneF

Posts: 2
Joined: 11/21/2012
Status: offline

I've found some guys that I got really attatched to but then they changed their mind I guess. But thanks for the support, guys.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

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RE: disheartened :/ (young sub female seeking long term... - 11/23/2012 3:32:07 PM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
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I sent you mail on the other side.

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(in reply to ElayneF)

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RE: disheartened :/ (young sub female seeking long term... - 11/23/2012 4:42:23 PM

Hillwilliam

Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
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Dont be impatient.

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Kinkier than a cheap garden hose.

Whoever said "Religion is the opiate of the masses" never heard Right Wing talk radio.

Don't blame me, I voted for Gary Johnson.

(in reply to angelikaJ)

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RE: disheartened :/ (young sub female seeking long term... - 11/23/2012 5:44:53 PM

FreeFromSin

Posts: 38
Joined: 8/3/2012
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You should approach love and kink like a turtle. Move slowly.

People are not always who they appear to be at first glance. Gaze ahead to your future.

Showing a bikini shot with no face attached will probably attract shallow or artificial types.

Hitting the gym and changing your diet would help your odds.

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The Cat's Meow.

(in reply to Hillwilliam)

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RE: disheartened :/ (young sub female seeking long term... - 11/23/2012 7:38:50 PM

autumnember

Posts: 185
Joined: 8/30/2012
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I feel for you because i too am monogamous and soooooo many men here seem to think that just because you are submissive means they can fuck whomever they like and you need to accept it. Hog wash. You are a lot younger than i am .. prepare for a long search and dont compromise your beliefs. Good luck and welcome back.

(in reply to FreeFromSin)

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RE: disheartened :/ (young sub female seeking long term... - 11/23/2012 7:51:32 PM

MstSebastian

Posts: 169
Joined: 3/19/2011
Status: offline

You'll find what you are looking for, in time. Two days isn't enough time to find the right Owner for you. Being on sites like this is certainly a helpful step in finding a kinky relationship. However, CM is hardly the Holy Grail. Be patient, and give it time.

Welcome to the forums.

_____________________________

The greatest gift a person can give is the gift of their willing submission. It is a gift more precious than gold and more fragile than glass. It is my responsibility to make sure that, every day, I am worthy of that gift.

(in reply to autumnember)

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RE: disheartened :/ (young sub female seeking long term... - 11/23/2012 9:50:44 PM

BurntKitty

Posts: 3340
Joined: 9/7/2010
From: Here To Eternity.
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Welcome young Padawan learner.

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Cat Quotes

Count Boogie's Foot Fetish Anti Creepy Training video

(in reply to ElayneF)

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RE: disheartened :/ (young sub female seeking long term... - 11/24/2012 7:23:27 AM

TieMeInKnottss

Posts: 1944
Joined: 9/6/2012
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I am pretty new to this world but being a lot older, I feel compelled to just say...be careful. As someone on here told me when I first posted (& it sticks with me daily & I wish I remembered who said it), "dominant doesn't mean decent". In my years, I have found, in both the vanilla and the kinky world, strength attracts strength. The best men are usually not interested in someone who expects them to fix them nor someone who seems to want ANYONE (& I am not talking sex, I mean they know that a woman who becomes quickly & easily emotionally attached is not interested in them & they value themselves enough to not get involved with such women).... This is my two cents & you may want to ignore me...but I see some of my 18 yr old self here. I have honestly (unlike many people here) met a LOT of decent doms on here-not as partners but as friends. I find the ones who are the best always comment on the fact that I am an independent & responsible sub. This means that I know my life is good without being owned, that I WANT to be owned but not by just anyone but someone who will value me. They see that I recognize I am responsible for my own happiness & well-being & that means I am going to keep him happy and safe. Dom/sub is two sides of the same coin, no good Dom will think or want to fix you & PLEASE beware of anyone who thinks otherwise. A good Dom will protect you, lead you, teach you but he will also have high expectations of you. He will demand submission (not immediately but as part of your partnership & it is a PARTNERSHIP), loyalty and most importantly, trust, but he is, in his own way GIVING you the same. He will be loyal to you & not tell you what you want to hear so you have sex with him, he will expect you to know your limits & stop him from going too far (he will push you but not BREAK you). He trusts you to protect him too.

(Sigh) You may have not even read this far but I hope I don't sound preachy because I really don't feel qualified to preach to others because I have made so many of the same mistakes. Maybe I am just projecting my own history on to you & you will be fine. Just please be careful, you have so many years ahead of you... Go to the "ask a sub" area & read what some of these women (myself included) have experienced. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

(in reply to ElayneF)

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RE: disheartened :/ (young sub female seeking long term... - 11/24/2012 2:40:39 PM

Bindncuftite

Posts: 17
Joined: 9/29/2012
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Hi and welcome :-)

(in reply to ElayneF)

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RE: disheartened :/ (young sub female seeking long term... - 11/25/2012 11:14:45 AM

Nelee

Posts: 205
Joined: 11/15/2012
Status: offline

Don't let your desperation push you into Sub Frenzy.
Also, no offense to you, but it feels like you're using this kink as a crutch for some other types of issues, such as being wanted, loved, cared for, etc.
Like TieMe said, game recognizes game. A GOOD Dom won't be attracted to the type that's only a sub because they want someone to "fix" them or because they want to deal with their issues. That's not a healthy BDSM relationship, and that's not a healthy relationship in general (vanilla or otherwise).

I looked at your profile a little and it honestly looks like you've got a few things to sort out and to strengthen about yourself before you go looking for a d/s relationship. Saying you'll "do anything" to be loved is the biggest red flag for abusers to jump on. You also mentioned that you may change your orientation to a switch because you "like to keep the right to say stop and be listened to"? Being a sub does NOT make you a doormat.

I'm sorry, but the more I read, the more I see that you need to stop and read up on the BDSM lifestyle, deal with your own issues, and set yourself straight before trying to get into a relationship. Otherwise, you're setting yourself up for heartbreak, abuse, and ultimately failure.

I'm sorry if I'm coming off rude, but you need to know this now.

(in reply to Bindncuftite)

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RE: disheartened :/ (young sub female seeking long term... - 11/25/2012 12:05:45 PM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
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Welcome aboard.

To some, especially those with experience, desperation, being a psychopath with no self-preservation that is reckless and insane aren't the best qualities or buzz words to advertize in your profile to hook up with one of the good ones. Seriously, when you present your submission so "a guy actually make me into a sex slave, with no feelings" as an alternative to being self governed because you are trying "not go endanger myself by doing something stupid in a big city at night" . . . well, you're all cheese & crackers. Expect to attract interest from equally damaged goods.

You might be best seeking some therapy rather than tossing in for some fresh Dommy dick.

< Message edited by ResidentSadist -- 11/25/2012 12:07:44 PM >

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RE: disheartened :/ (young sub female seeking long term... - 11/26/2012 9:15:53 AM

Char2688

Posts: 151
Joined: 4/16/2012
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Welcome and good luck.....your patience will be rewarded....take your time!

(in reply to ResidentSadist)

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