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RE: Protocol for approaching Dominants - 11/27/2012 6:34:13 PM   
arc2456


Posts: 36
Joined: 11/14/2012
Status: offline 		I know I wouldn't have a problem with someone sending me a message, even if nothing does come of it. As the others have said at worst you get a nasty reply from someone you probably will never meet.

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“Yes. You do.”
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(in reply to amaidiamond)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Protocol for approaching Dominants - 11/27/2012 6:38:05 PM   
Hillwilliam


Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BambiBoi

I tend to assume all women are taken at events. I would rather let one or two "get away" than look like the sort who is hitting on other's subs. So its refreshing when I get a clear indications of availability or interest. Even if the interest is just to be friends. I'm going to err on the side of being cold rather than be inappropriate.

Just because you assume a woman is taken doesn't mean you can't say hi.

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RE: Protocol for approaching Dominants - 11/27/2012 7:10:42 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		So that must be why no one ever talks to me at bdsm stuff lol.

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RE: Protocol for approaching Dominants - 11/27/2012 7:37:36 PM   
amaidiamond


Posts: 1793
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Watford / London
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BambiBoi

I tend to assume all women are taken at events. I would rather let one or two "get away" than look like the sort who is hitting on other's subs. So its refreshing when I get a clear indications of availability or interest. Even if the interest is just to be friends. I'm going to err on the side of being cold rather than be inappropriate.



Waitttttt.... I am Owned so people won't say hi to me?

Damn!

What is an owned poly girl to do....

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Lead me not into temptation... I can find the way all by myself!

(in reply to BambiBoi)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Protocol for approaching Dominants - 11/27/2012 9:05:48 PM   
BambiBoi


Posts: 461
Joined: 8/10/2010
Status: offline 		I wasn't as clear as I should have been. When I say "err on the side of being cold" I mean something closer to business-professional, not silence.

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RE: Protocol for approaching Dominants - 1/2/2013 4:20:57 PM   
SirElegance7


Posts: 18
Joined: 11/3/2012
Status: offline 		A lot of people think its NO protocol, sweet!!! keeping it simple.

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Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Protocol for approaching Dominants - 1/2/2013 5:22:38 PM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lilly425

I’d like to ask a question in regard to protocol among Dominants and Submissives. I recall reading somewhere that it was proper protocol for Dominants to approach Submissives and not the other way around. Is this a truth? And if so, does it only apply to real-time scenarios such as clubs or play parties?

Is there a proper protocol for on-line? I am hesitant to approach a Dominant for the following reason. If I approach a Dominant and then later determine we aren’t compatible for whatever reason, I fear that he would be angry with me for initiating something I didn’t follow through on or for wasting his time. I’m interested in meeting someone yet I’m also frustrated with being the initiator as I’ve done (unsuccessfully) in the past. But if I misunderstand protocol and the Dominants are waiting for me to approach them, well then I obviously need to change my mindset and approach!

My “normal” daytime persona is that of a strong, independent, ambitious woman and I think nearly everyone who knows me would be surprised to learn that I am sexually submissive. As such, I tend to attract men who are looking for a woman to take care of them. Are there changes I should make in my behavior that may result in attracting more Dominant men?

Thanks in advance for any feedback.


Never, ever, under any circumstance, take your eyes off the almighty cock

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(in reply to Lilly425)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Protocol for approaching Dominants - 1/2/2013 6:55:29 PM   
Lilly425


Posts: 19
Joined: 11/3/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

Never, ever, under any circumstance, take your eyes off the almighty cock


And THIS is exactly why you are one of my favorite posters! lol

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Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Protocol for approaching Dominants - 1/4/2013 3:40:39 PM   
AlphaMaleStephen


Posts: 2
Joined: 3/13/2012
Status: offline 		If you ask you may get no for an answer. If you don't ask the answer for damn sure will be no. If they don't want to get to know you they probably aren't someone you want to know anyway.

(in reply to BambiBoi)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Protocol for approaching Dominants - 1/8/2013 6:58:51 AM   
Moonlightmaddnes


Posts: 958
Joined: 6/4/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam

quote:

ORIGINAL: BambiBoi

I tend to assume all women are taken at events. I would rather let one or two "get away" than look like the sort who is hitting on other's subs. So its refreshing when I get a clear indications of availability or interest. Even if the interest is just to be friends. I'm going to err on the side of being cold rather than be inappropriate.

Just because you assume a woman is taken doesn't mean you can't say hi.



I am married and our marriage is very stable and happy. I am very taken and owned, but people still come and say hi to me. Heck we even live in a small town in a small county and everyone knows I am his wife and do not mess with me or you will piss him off. Still even other men will still come up and talk to me, some I am not even sure who they are until I describe the guy to my husband and he knows who they are.

You may be coming off as not wanting to talk. When I am by myself around people I do not know I am a lot more shy then when I am with friends. Alone I do tend to keep to myself and not really talk but even if I have a couple people there I know and can be a bit more relaxed I am a lot more sociable. That is when I end up talking with a lot more people. Even going and saying hi to people and being friendly can make all the difference. If nothing else you can make a few friends.

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RE: Protocol for approaching Dominants - 1/8/2013 5:21:51 PM   
Blankpain


Posts: 127
Joined: 5/20/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

There is no protocol. There is no right or wrong. Anyone can approach anyone.



On their knees!

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Protocol for approaching Dominants - 1/8/2013 11:42:17 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		You could but I doubt you'd get very far.

Good luck with that.


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Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

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RE: Protocol for approaching Dominants - 1/8/2013 11:48:16 PM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline 		"Hello" would be a great start. Then introductions I suppose.

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Our snark-nado needs more cowbell


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Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Protocol for approaching Dominants - 1/9/2013 10:36:31 AM   
SlutSeekerUsesU


Posts: 2
Joined: 4/2/2012
Status: offline 		Just approach. Don't get too hung up on procedural rules.

(in reply to TNDommeK)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Protocol for approaching Dominants - 1/12/2013 7:56:47 AM   
thracia


Posts: 38
Joined: 1/12/2013
Status: offline 		This was helpful to me.

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Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Protocol for approaching Dominants - 1/12/2013 8:10:19 AM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

So that must be why no one ever talks to me at bdsm stuff lol.


Of course! Everyone know that if you greet a owned submissive they automatically attach themselves to your ankles and won't leave. They're like those little burr things that get stuck to your socks when you walk in the grass.

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HBIC



(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Protocol for approaching Dominants - 1/12/2013 9:44:26 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Most guys online never get any mail. They would be thrilled to receive a letter saying you read their profile and liked the way they think and would they care to talk to you. You aren't promising anything by sending such a letter. If they do assume that anyone who says hello owes them sex, then you've learned that they aren't people you want to know.

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Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to BambiBoi)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Protocol for approaching Dominants - 1/12/2013 3:45:05 PM   
Dreadmath


Posts: 144
Joined: 1/10/2013
Status: offline 		Lilly, there are dominants out there who enjoy women with strength of character (I know I do) so unless you want to, there is little point in changing or hiding that ^^. As for how to initiate, it all starts with what kind of dominant you are interested in and wish to attract, try to see things from their point of view if you can and then shoot for it. Often they have some form of description on how they would like to be approached and failing that you could simply be open and speak your mind.

If all else fails, any decent human being would relate to and even chuckle pleasantly at an approach such as "Hello I am X , ehm, I am a bit interested in getting to know you better, I liked X and Y about you and I like to do Z and interested in V (running out of variables). If you are interested, please contact me". As long as you stay within forum rules they shouldn't be offended.

Bottom line: Follow the KISS rule and be yourself ^^.

< Message edited by Dreadmath -- 1/12/2013 3:46:13 PM >

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Protocol for approaching Dominants - 1/12/2013 4:44:59 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		This can be a complicated issue......

Basically I see see two approaches.....

One. Your a single hot female that finds me hot and craves my attention... You crawl to me starting from a distance of at least twenty feet. You reach my feet with your head down and wait for my acknowledgement of your existence. When I do so you ask for the honour to suck my cock!

Two... For everyone else. A simple and polite hi is enough....,



Strangely enough No one crawls to me... But I have that protocol in place just to be safe.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to Lilly425)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Protocol for approaching Dominants - 1/12/2013 10:32:30 PM   
TAFKAA


Posts: 382
Joined: 1/5/2013
Status: offline 		Issues such as protocol only arise when you've entered into a dynamic with someone. Mature dominants recognise this fact.

The immature or devious will not.

Basically, in any interaction, you should know exactly what you're getting into. So it's impossible to breach a code of conduct if you've not been made aware of it.

Recognise that in this medium, you're also judging them. Although it's a matter of personal taste, most healthy subs are looking for a dominant, rather than a spoiled whiny man-child. It's your duty to yourself to be sure you can discriminate between the two.

(in reply to Lilly425)
Profile   Post #: 40
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